new thread
How much of our fathers sideways comments and downright reluctance to us growing our hair as well as societies views do you think are homophobic in nature? I mean some stories I've read look like the father is treating his son like he just came out of the closet. Do you think society looks on a long haired man as homosexual or transvetite in nature because longhair is generally female and that's what all the fuss is about?
Trying to picture some of the guys on this board in miniskirts dispels that notion pretty quickly!
What is the problem is trying to deal with the close-mindedness some people have with those things different from their comfort area. And their perception that those things that are different are somehow "bad".
That doesn't mean you have to agree with everything. There are several guys on here who lead lifestyles that I do not agree with in any shape or form. Their words and actions go against everything that I believe. Though we may not agree, I can still accept them as people, as friends. And there is always a slim chance that, at some point in their life, they may see the light. And another "Democrat" will be saved!
Preconceived notions will get you into trouble!
HAHAHAHAHAH great buildup George!
I've seen the light! I've seen the light! Now I must go out into the world and knock on everyone's doors to save all the Republicans (lol)!!
- Ken
Well, to understand an individual's motivations, you have to understand that individual, but overall I'd say it's more that long hair for men is outside the norm for most of society, especially for the society that a lot of folks grew up in and where they formed their opinion of what's "proper". Anything outside of that often makes people unconfortable. Unfortunately, too many people are unwilling to admit that what they consider as unusual might be just fine for another, and they're not willing to "live and let live".
As an example, I'm uncomfortable with all but the most basic body piercings (earrings, maybe navels). However, my daughter-in-law has an eyebrow piercing and a tongue stud. I just do my best to ignore them when we're together, helped by the fact that she's a great person to be around.
I think pegging the issue as homophobia may be a little too specific. Of course there are some who think "oh that's too feminine," but a majority of people just can't deal with not being able to fit us crazy circular longhairs into their little square box. =P They're scared of what they don't understand, who wouldn't be? It's a simple gut reaction. If someone simply has a name or explanation for who/what you are, that helps them to be comfortable around you.
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*stops ranting*
Hope that helped ^.^
<3
Tristram
Interesting topic Kike,
Well, most of us on the younger side had parents who were raised by the WWII generation where men with longhair was nonexistant for the most part. The older gents on this board had parents who were of this era. I think it's less of people seeing Longhair as feminine and more of seeing it as messy or just different (which is stupid by all accounts).
Sadly, I think a lot of fathers want their kid's to have short hair because they feel long hair will limit their kid's success, social acceptance or are afraid their kid might give the appearence of a druggie/bum which is the media's fault because longhairs are WARRIORS not deadbeat junkies. Anyway, I believe it's less about appearing feminine, I think parents just play the "feminine card" as a last attempt to keep their kid from growing their hair out.
Everyone, regardless of their lifestyle whether they be longhaired, shorthaired, straight or homosexual deserves respect as we are all human. Some people are simply too stuck in tradition or too narrowminded to understand that.
-Phil
I meant MIKE lol (stupid fat fingers!)
O.O
=D
^.^
*hug*
The "Feminine Card" that parents (or anyone) plays is pure bull. The issue, which few in positions of power want to admit, is CONTROL. And persons in power have used two methods of control -- for women it's control through their sexual organs and for men it's through their hair. It's been done throughout history and in almost all cultures -- think about during the Middle Ages when one tribe conquored another. To dominate the survivors they raped the women and shaved the men's heads. And to wide varying degrees of severity, this has been happening in so called civilized societies ever since. If a man enters the military, his head is shaved on the very first day. Is this to promote cleanliness? Of course not. It's to control him and indoctrinate him into the complex world of submitting to his superiors in military warfare. If a man wants to control a woman, he does it through her vagina. Look at that bizarre polygamy situation in Texas or any case of rape.
Many parents are reluctant to relinquish control over their children as they grow older. And one of the ways they attempt to control their boys is through his hair. Most girls are left alone regarding their hair and allowed to wear it however they wish. That's not the case with most boys.
Here in southeast Georgia I don't see as much negativity toward long hair as some of the others here as there are MANY longhairs in these parts... Actually there are many non conformists around here so seeing "strange" people is the norm. LOL This includes a very LARGE gay community of short hairs.. I don't believe there is any connection between homophobia and long hair as a general rule. That line of thinking runs much deeper than just hair length. When it comes to parental dislike for hair it's just not normal for them and they want the best for their child. Parents don't view kids with long hair as successful, rather it's trouble, drugs and the like..
Tom
Most people actually like my hair. This post is for the few people, including my family members that have even a slightest disagreement of me becoming a longhair. After reading some of the posts here, what I experienced myself and the trim I got in February for the wedding, I have decided to be extremely strict about growing out my hair, and I will not be happy if someone tries to mess around with my hair. Even if it is just a joke, those things get old very fast. I will show zero-tolerance to things, including "feminine cards" that go against my will of becoming a longhair.
Regardless
?In my case it was always my mother who opposed my long hair, not my father, so I can't really relate to this. In more recent years she told me that he never liked it either but wouldn't say anything, which just made me think that he was right not to say anything (assuming it was true that he even felt that way and she wasn't just saying that as yet another tactic). She told me I should have my own mind and not follow the crowd when long hair was in fashion, and when it was out of fashion she would tell me that I was out of style and should update my image! IOW she would say anything to try to convince me, even if it involved contradicting herself. She still complains about it from time to time, although she hasn't said anything about my son's long hair (yet)!
She did once ask a friend of hers to give me a trim, which I stupidly agreed to. Her friend (a Chinese lady) showed me pictures of women's hairstyles to choose from in some bizarre attempt to convince me that long hair was only for women, and then cut off vastly too much, taking off years of growth. I'd say that was the only time someone tried to convince me that long hair was feminine. I don't count idiots who shout from moving cars, LOL!
I'd agree with the rest of the board. I don't think long hair is seen as feminine, not even by ultra conservative types. It's just a handy insult for strangers to shout and a false argument used sometimes to persuade us to cut.
I addressed that issue in the R.A.Q.
It IS more of a misconception that anything and like Guymarch brought up it's more about social norms and control issues.
When it comes to sexuality it's impossible to fit everyone into little separate boxes. Such broad categories that "social norms" try to establish just don't allow any understanding of how complex people can be/are.
So, sure, for a few it may actually be that way but for most it's apparently not.......then after awhile you realize that it's more a matter of those promoting "current social norms" not having a very broad historical or cultural knowledge base.
My dad was a longhair when he was in high school, and all the rednecks kept threatening to cut his hair. Never happened of course. No problems from either of my parents on that score.
As far as stereotypes and hair and all go, I'm gay and I prefer having long hair. I shaved my head bald for a few years until August 07 and haven't had a haircut since. I love it. It's a matter of self-expression, not sexuality.
At the heart of it all I'm just a little lazy and short hair requires work and maintenance haircuts and all that.
I do think there is a gradual shift in people's perceptions about hair length for men. Ultimately people will think whatever they want to think, and there's nothing to be done about that.
It's totally a social construct as to what long hair "means." In my ancestry (partially Vikings) the slave's heads were cropped or shaved. The boss was the guy with the long hair. It was that way in many societies.
In another branch of my heritage (Irish) cropped hair meant that you were cow-towing to the English and no longer a true Irishman.
Lots of gays shave their heads, don't they? There are certain gays who ascribe to a super-macho image, and certainly don't want to look like girls. Most gays I've known either shave the head or wear a neat preppy-like style. I don't know where the association between long hair and gayness came from, unless it's a holdover from the 19th century, re Oscar Wilde, etc.
Most in the gay community have short hair cuts as you mentioned.
it's very rare to find them with longhair.
Kevin