new thread
Hey all! The hair is looking great as always, and I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! Thanks to everyone that commented on my 9 month update, my hair is looking and feeling better than ever, and I can't wait to see how it turns out in the upcoming months. :)
And to all the people that keep asking about trims: I swear the FAQ already says this, but the only reason to ever trim your hair is if you have incredibly bad split ends, but even then, just trim the ends!
Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest...those posts happen way too frequently, and I'm surprised so many men ask that. Kudos to all those that respond time and time again.
Anyways, for the people that read my posts, you all should know that I'm currently studying abroad in Japan and have been here since mid-March. Seeing as how the MLHH is full of what seems like a collection of open-minded, worldly people, I'm just wondering if anyone else has studied abroad, and possibly where? I came to Japan to improve my Japanese language skills, learn about Japanese family life, and Japanese youth culture. While I've achieved most of these things, I experienced a great deal of culture shock, in several forms. I didn't expect this to happen, and excuse the cliche, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. For those don't know what culture shock is, a relatively good explanation can be found here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock
I didn't expect it to hit me that hard, seeing as how I'm a communication major in college, and my areas of concentration are intercultural communication and small group communication, with a lesser emphasis on linguistic properties and advertising. However, I think my knowledge of such things enhanced my culture shock, because I saw everything I ever studied come to life right before my eyes. Most of my fellow exchange students have no idea what a semantic triangle is, how a brain subconsciously processes language, or how cultural memes operate, things that are especially interesting to think about while in another culture, if not a little scary...
While I doubt anyone wants to hear about my experiences in Japanese society, it's pretty much like living in another world when compared to America. Society itself is extremely restrictive in so many ways, and almost homogenous. While in America we thrive on new things, unpredictability, and shock value, Japan is built on predictability and routine. I've literally been doing the same thing for about sixteen weeks - and while it was uncomfortable at first, I've followed the culture shock trend and eventually "adjusted". While I don't necessarily like this new lifestyle, it's become more and more normal and natural to me.
Besides the obvious shock of living in a culture completely different from America, I've also had to deal with the equally jarring, if not moreso, culture shock of meeting Americans completely different than myself. I think I may have mentioned it before on this board, but I dwell in the land of coffee, environmentalism, public transportation, and politically correctness known as Seattle. To relate this to use of the board, a lot of you guys struggle with growing your hair out long to keep a job, but I've worked many jobs and have never actually had to cut my hair, I could either keep it down or pull it back without a problem. Large companies like Microsoft and Nintendo don't even have dress codes, and I kinda assumed that most of the US was like us up in Seattle...but I've met a diverse mix of people from Michigan, New York, California, Maryland, New Hampshire, and many other states...and I've concluded that living in Seattle is great, but it's also like living in a bubble. For example, one of my friends used the term "Red-Indian", and I had no idea what it meant, because in Seattle we only use PC terms like Native-American, as I assumed the rest of the country did too. My fellow exchange student friends also refer to me as extremely "Metropolitan", which is also strange to me, considering I'm on the lower end of the social/economic ladder in Seattle culture...yet I strike them as incredibly cultured and refined. Essentially, what I'm getting at here, is that it's been extremely shocking for me to witness such differences within my own culture, on top of the Japanese culture I'm experiencing. While in Seattle I can grow my hair out freely and not give it a second thought, it once seemed unfathomable that there were actually people on this board that didn't have the same oppurtunity...all of a sudden, it seems a lot more believable, and shocking at the same time.
As an added burden for me, this is also my first time away from home for a long period of time. It's been more convenient for me to live at home while in college, economically and logistically.
At this point, things that once seemed normal to me are starting to seem weird, and that's slightly frightening. Hearing English on TV/Radio and normal English conversation sounds weird, and I do a double take every time I see another person of European descent, because I'm so used to seeing a sea of Japanese people everywhere I go. Now, as interesting as Japan has been for me, it hasn't been what I expected or wanted, sadly. That's life though, and I fully accept that. I've been looking forward to coming home for quite some time now - but after experiencing such intense culture shock, I'm a tad worried about reverse culture shock.
For an explanation of reverse culture shock, you can read this.
http://suabroad.syr.edu/alumni/alumniResources/reEntry/
Basically, I've been removed from American culture and media for the past four months, and have no idea what's going on with any sort of news. It's weird not to have commercials or advertisements EVERYWHERE I go, or hear some sort of mindless political banter every five seconds. And I'll interrupt myself here to say that a lot of the time, people say that "America doesn't have a culture. Hot dogs and hamburgers aren't culture", or something along those lines...but they couldn't be more wrong. A culture is so much more than exotic (which is completely subjective) foods, shrines, or ancient relics. A culture is everything one does, and for us Americans, we have a rich, complex culture that can not be truly appreciated or understood until one has been away from it for an extended period of time. The things we do in our every day life we take for granted as truths, but truly, there are SO many concepts, ideas, products, technology, attitudes, goals, and ideals that are unique to American culture it is almost overwhelming to think about, especially when the numerous subcultures are taken into account.
Like I said, I'm really excited to go home (July 31st) and get back into my daily routine - continue my studies at the University of Washington, spend time with my family and girlfriend, and find a new job. I'm a true blue American (do we even say that? lol) and love my country and the opportunities and liberties I'm given, and possibly even moreso after my stay in Japan - I'm just a tad nervous about the prospect of reverse culture shock...especially during an incredibly pivotal election time, where the media will be in overdrive. Furthermore, I haven't watched TV or played a videogame that I could understand since March - it's a totally different feeling living without the influence of electronic media in your life.
So, to the (American) members of MLHH:
-Has anyone left America for an extended period of time?
-If yes, where did you go and for how long? How did you cope with culture shock?
-What was reverse culture shock like upon your return? How long did it take to fully re-assimilate into American society again?
-What are some coping skills (including pre-emptive) for reverse culture shock?
Furthermore, to any of the members of MLHH that are of nationalities other than American, if you read this post and have an experience to share, I'd love to hear it as well! I just wrote it in the context of an American because there are many Americans on this board, and it is my nationality.
One last thing: the prospects of culture shock and reverse culture shock were reversed in 1954, as a response to WWII, and to hopefully increase positive communication among nations in an ever-globalizing world. As a student of communication, it's evident to me that the world has changed dramatically since these theories were introduced. Communications technology, especially the internet, has made it easier to learn about a foreign culture before living in it, and to stay up to date with friends, family, media, and current events of the home culture. The links I posted (and all the others I found) appear to state a somewhat dated explanation of culture shock/reverse culture shock. I've stayed in touch with my friends and family with ease, and don't anticipate any "huge, unexpected changes" back home with family or friend relationships. I'm moreso worried about continuing this constant "worldly pondering" that I've been doing with my time abroad, regarding many aspects of the world we live in today...when all I really wanna do when I get back home is grab some take-out with my best friends and play Guitar Hero until the late hours of the night...lol...I think maybe I do this pondering because my life has very little priority/structure at the moment, it's still a bit of a worry for me though.
Anyways...this is kinda long - thanks in advance to all that took the time to read this and respond!
Best,
Tim
Hi Tim.
Good to hear from you.
I had a mediocre 4th of July. We did not have much of a party. The best part about the 4th is lighting the fireworks. Otherwise, it was probably the most boring 4th of July I have ever remembered. Yes, it is at the same place as always (my grandparent's cabin on a lake), but usually, a lot more people come to the cabin. This year, however, it is pretty much just my grandparents and I. But I definitely hope the holiday is not the main highlight of the summer (outside of work) and that there are better and more fun things for me to look forward to (like getting to know you and the other users of MLHH better).
I also cannot wait to see what my hair will become in the following months. As for trims, I had an unwanted trim in February for my cousin's wedding. I regretted the trim after I returned home. My dad thinks my hair looked better for the wedding, but I think I looked worse. On the other hand, it is not as bad as the haircut you got last fall which you told us about (it looked funny though).
I know that you have been studying in Japan for the last year or so, and you told us about the awful haircut you had last fall. A lot of stuff you said about studying aboard was quite interesting. I generally do not agree with the extremely restrictive society, but I might visit Japan at a later time. I am more comfortable in the US.
As for jobs, when I apply for a job, if they tell me to cut my hair, one thing for sure is that I will not do it, especially if I am applying for a job I always wanted to have. I plan to get a programming job. I would like to program games and software. I see a lot of long haired males every day at the workplace, and I do hardware testing.
When I went to North Carolina in February, it sill felt a little like home to me, even though it is on the other side of the country. I had never been away from home for an extended period of time, so I have no idea of how will the culture shock would feel like to me. If I go to Japan for a vacation, I would not have much of a shock, since I would only be there for a couple of weeks then I would go back home. Going to Japan for months, on the other hand, means you would be living there, and then you would have to adjust to the lifestyle of Japanese, which you did. But if I load my brain up with information on both cultures, I would not have much of a reverse culture shock. Four months may not be enough time for me to develop a reverse culture shock, but it would be different if I lived years in Japan. Even if I have to spend a lot of time overseas, I will still keep track of what is going on in my country (friends, news, weather, family and other things).
In case you don't remember, I also live in the Seattle area, and I would like to know you better. I lived all my life in the Seattle area.
Anyway, I added a photo of what my hair looks like as of now. It had reached the base of my neck and is just starting to touch my shoulders. By the end of this month, a significant amount of my hair will touch my shoulders, and by the end of the summer, my hair will start to go past my shoulder length. This is provided I do not get a forced haircut by some human being.
About my hair, 99% of all people that saw my hair thinks my hair looks good on me or accepts the fact that I want to grow out my hair. The waviness adds character to my hair (although having straighter hair is easier to maintain, and you get more length on your hair). As for the 1% of those who do not like my hair, there was a guy on this board that was rude to my hair and told me to get a haircut. Even after being banned from the board, he still sent me rude messages regarding my hair on my MySpace, till I blocked him. You would probably not want to read his messages towards me; they are not very pretty. Like I said about the February trim, it tells me that my dad has issues with me growing out my hair. My dad thinks my hair will go out horizontally, rather than down (and that got me a bit jealous of men with straight, long hair, till I saw an update with a photo of a man with wavy hair, and his hair looked snazzy). So I might have to put my dad in the 1% category as well. There are a small number of people from Special Olympics that made jokes on my hair (i.e. "You need a haircut". "Referee, This guy cannot play soccer since his hair is too long.") They can be funny, but they get very old after a while. But even then they still accepts my decision on growing out my hair and they are in the 99% projectile. With that aforementioned exception, MLHH users are in the 99% projectile as well to me (otherwise, they would not be posting on this board).
Thanks for reading this. What do you think of my hair?
Regardless
Looks good, man! Keep it growing!
What part of Seattle are you from? I'm from Redmond.
Hi Tim. I am from Renton. I live in the highlands.
Regardless
Hey Tim,
It's great to hear from an American how goes abroad in order to live in a foreign culture and to learn from it.
I know many Americans who never left their country because it's not worth leaving the best country around the world and - as some of them said - to go to countries where it is dangerous to be...
Here in central Europe many people believe that America does not have its own culture. They basically mean that the 'white America' does not have such a long term history as European or Asian countries and that 'cultural things' usually come from abroad and are adopted to the local needs (such as food, architecture, etc.). I believe that is true, but we must not forget that also the European culture is based on foreign cultures (just a few decades earlier). Also, culture is not country-individual but is area-individual. There is no Swiss culture on its own but Swiss culture is influenced by all other European and, in the newer history, American countries and also from earlier cultures. There is no American culture on its own, American culture is derivated from Irish, French, English, German cultures and influenced by African, Asian and Native American cultures and has grown on its own.
My experience from many travels to America and from Americans I met here is that a FEW Americans forget about their cultural history. They only see their (still growing) military power and their (probably descending) economic power and therefore see America as the center of the world. They therefore do not see a need to travel abroad and learn about different cultures. If they travel abroad, they just want to visit the 'must see' sites around the world. They stay at expensive hotels, eat and sleep there after there journies and they get their snacks and stuff at MacDonalds and Starbucks. Exactly these people spread the image about the non-cultural Americans all around the world.
Remember, I am talking about a few. Most Americans I know are very opend minded (most Americans I know live in Southern California and in Seattle, a few in Texas).
I know, what I wrote above is what we call 'a view from a single eye'. Also, being not natively English speaking, makes it very difficult for me to write about themes like that... I hope you got an idea what I wanted to say.
All the best and happy returning to Seattle!
--Tom
Woops sorry I got lost...hick I just got back from the pub!
wow tim, I'm sorry man but if you could edit your inquiry down to a few questions I'll be able to deal with it. As it stands, I looked at your essay and gave up; no time dude.
Sorry, I have a tendency to ramble. To do a massive paraphrase:
Has anyone on the board stayed abroad from their home country for an extended period of time and experienced culture shock?
When returning to their home country, how did they deal with reverse culture shock?
That's basically it, haha. I just went into details on the other post.
Thanks again,
Tim
ROLF... no problem I did read your other post and by time I got to the end my hair had grown 12 inches.
Kevin
My bad, part of studying abroad involves having massive amounts of free time where your brain tends to get carried away. Enjoy your new foot of hair though :P
Thanks--this I can deal with:
Follow Ups:
Follow Ups:
Follow Ups:
The other thing I experienced was being sick constantly for the first six months I was there after which my body adjusted to the change in location.
Hmmm let's see....when I returned to America I entered at San Francisco. I remember two things again: the first was that it was weird to have all the signs in English and people speaking English on the tv sets in the airport but I quickly got over that. The other was that a pack of cigarettes (I smoked back then) had gone up to a dollar! horrors! Aren't they about five times that much now? Glad I don't have that to worry about : )
Thanks for the response Rob. You were in Korea for several YEARS, and I've only been in Japan for four months. You obviously assimilated back into American society and resumed your daily life/hobbies with relative ease, and I'm sure I'll be able to do the same now. That must've been a great experience for you.
Best,
TIm
I spent two years in Tehran, Iran and was able to travel extensively throughout the country. Although I was in the American military, there was not military base, therefore I was living totally on the local culture. It was a wonderful, exciting experience that was life altering for me. This was before the fall of the Shah and Americans will more than welcome. Traveling through a country with 3000+ years of history made U.S. history look a bit trivial. Upon returning, some of the values of American's (like Mc Donalds is actual food) seemed a bit silly.
My advise: Stay away from tourist traps, immerse yourself in the Japanese culture, stay open-minded and have a wonderfultime.
WWT (Walter White Tail)
Thanks for your response, and for your service in the US army! I'll keep what you said in mind.
-TIm
"...Thanks...for your service in the US army!..."
That comment is greatly appreciated.....(I was in the USAF.)
Walter
I actually studied abroad in Japan for four months back in 2002. I lived with a host family and went to Kansai Gaidai. Classes were in English except for my Japanese speaking and writing classes.
It was very odd to be a different race than the people around me. When I went to the Osaka aquarium some of the little kids spent more time looking at me than the whale sharks! An one point my host mother looked at my eyes and said with surprise, "Midori desu." A woman on a train wanted to know if my hair was naturally this color and texture (for the record, it was quite a bit shorter then). I remember when one friend of mine got so tired of hearing kids say, "Gaijin da!" that she turned around and said, "Nihonjin da!" The kid about died of shock, LOL!
I will say that I really enjoyed being about average size for a woman...I'm 5" 2'. ;-)
I did the usual stumbling over the language (I once called something pathetic when I meant to say it was cute), and it was remarkably annoying to have a Japanese person on the street absolutely flip out when I asked him/her something in Japanese. Someone at the college told me that the Japanese are sometimes afraid that, even though you're speaking Japanese, that they'll have to speak English and embarrass themselves.
The experience was definitely stressful sometimes, but I also really enjoyed my stay and returned to the U.S. with a newfound sense of independence and confidence. I developed quite a taste for good Japanese food, which is hard to find in the midwest.
I definitely did experience some reverse culture shock. Mostly it's hard to qualify it since just the physical layout and sense of society was different from the U.S., but I specifically remember having problems with my table manners. I really, REALLY wanted to just pick up the bowl and start slurping away. It was also strange to be back in a world where English was understood by everyone. In Japan, even if the Japanese undestand English well they're usually no match for a quick conversation using lots of slang and incorrect grammer. Most of the U.S. students at the university simply got used to knowing that our conversations were fairly uncomprehensable to the Nihonjin around us. Hence we could comment on someone within earshot...not such a good habit when back in the U.S.!
And alas, I miss having EVERYTHING available in a vending machine.
Anyway, good luck with your stay. If you get to Osaka, look for the lobster machine!
Mouse
Wow! That situation is very similar to mine, except I am in Tokyo. I knew somebody on this board would be able to relate. :P
Yeah, I get really frustrated when people say "Gaijin" all the time, which is actually a racial slur, and comes from the more polite term "Gaikokujin." I speak/understand a large chunk of Japanese, and feel that just because I'm white they think I can't understand anything, lol. I also know exactly what you mean when you ask a Japanese person something on the streets - they freak out and try to speak English to you, even though I asked the question in Japanese.
I also have a newfound sense of confidence and independence, but I've merged into this society and lifestyle which is completely different from the US. I have no job or homework, so basically my brain goes wild and I just THINK...usually thinking about stuff I don't want to think about, such as nuclear bombs, human existence, etc, etc. lol, my brain gets way too carried away. It's mostly the sense of society, in that I feel my personal expression and self identity is limited and completely devalued - I don't know if you experienced this, but I went from feeling like an individual in the US to an outsider that has a complete group/conformity mentality.
I was explaining to my girlfriend that living in Japan (or at least my experience in Tokyo) is like living in an industrialized nation with a very, very traditional, conservative mindset. People stare at me constantly because I don't wear a suit on the train, haha.
Also, I know what you mean about hearing English and having it feel weird - I've heard nothing but Japanese radio, Japanese people, Japanese TV, and Japanese announcements for the past four months. English sounds weird to me, and I do a double take every time I see another person of European descent on the train or off campus.
Obviously, you assimilated back into a daily routine and American life and what not - mind if I ask, how long was it "weird" for you to be surrounded by English media, speaking, friends, family, and the like? When did you feel like everything was "normal" again and just live your life like you did before?
Arigatou gozaimasu for your response!
PS: Were your Japanese professors unbearably boring? I go to Sophia University and can't stand the slow pace of class, with complete emphasis on lectures. Gahhhh. :(
You also know you've been in Japan for a while when the tourists from the U.S. drive you nuts! LOL
I really can't remember how long it took for things to feel "normal" again. Aside from the usual "everthing looks/sounds/seems different!" I just remember odd things cropping up such as the need to shower before getting into my parent's hot tub.
Mouse
Well I have been away from home for six months or more at a time, but I dealt with a bit different version of culture shock (in either direction). In my case these were six month periods of roaming the oceans aboard an aircraft carrier, with 4-5 day port visits scattered throughout.
The culture shock came more from the change of daily routine between home (5-day workweeks, 8 hours a day) to shipboard (7-day workweeks, 12 hours a day), the much more restricted availability of "things to do" while at sea, and the isolation from friends, family and such.
The best way I found is to simply "go with the flow". When you get home, work back into life gradually. And while you're still overseas, experience as much as you can. The opportunity to see another culture should never be overlooked.
Thank you very much for your response! One of the problems that's been so difficult to adjust to is the change of routine. I went from school five days a week, work four days a week, spending time with family and friends, and basically doing the "college thing", to getting up at 6 am every day, commuting 2+ hours a day, being on campus for 9+ hours a day, enduring completely different teaching styles, barely being able to speak the language, only seeing Japanese people, feeling a lack of personal space everywhere I go, living with an elderly couple, and, well, I'm sure you get the idea...everything got turned upside down for me :)
I subconsciously made these huge lifestyle adjustments, including isolation and a lack of things to do. I'm just wondering how long it'll take for me to be able to "go with the flow" again.
Thanks so much again for your response, it was amazing what you had the courage to do!
Best,
Tim