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Being the first of my age group to be a guy with long hair, my hair stands out to a lot of my peers. A lot of people threaten me with a haircut, whether it be jokingly or to scare me. I was on a field trip and a guy said to me "someday you'll be at a party and we'll shave your head while you're asleep." Once I tried to steal a ball from a girl in a game during gym, which she retaliated with, "Are you trying to steal my ball? I'll cut your hair off!" There were many comments like these. I shrugged most of them as meaningless, and I'd usually just laugh along with the person.
One day in Social Studies I was sitting next to a preppy blonde-haired girl, who we'll refer to as "Sally". A common joke among guys would be to tell her how much they loved her, and I was doing the same thing. Her friends were laughig as she sat embarassed, then Sally smiled, stood up, and started wandering around the room. One of her friends asked her what she was doing, and she said she was looking for a pair of scissors. I immediately shut up, and her friend made her stop. Again, I just shrugged this off.
Then the last day of school we were all sitting in a circle sharing memories of the year. A girl mentioned how I got mistaken for a girl on a field trip when I was face to face with the person. We all laughed, then a blonde-haired friend of Sally said, "Yeah Sally was going cut your hair that one time." I would've shrugged this off too but something about the way she said it terrified me. She wasn't joking, she wasn't trying to scare me, she just mentioned it casually like Sally was actually going to do it, and they expected me to only be mad for a couple minutes and then laugh along with them. Sally said something, and I said to her completely seriously, "If you had actually done something I would kill you." She just laughed. But hey, it was the last day of school. Like anything could happen now.
Then a couple days ago I had a dream, which really started my paranoia. I dreamt the usual crazy things we dream every night and then suddenly I was out on a parking lot on a sunny day. I ran into Sally, her also blonde haired friend, and a third blonde haired girl I'd never met in real life. She was younger and had pigtails. Suddenly the third girl was chasing me with 2 pairs of scissors. I turned around and binded both her arms when suddenly she sproated a third arm with a pair of scissors and cut a chunk of hair off the back of my head. I started thinking about how I could kill myself right on the spot. When I woke up grabbed my hair to make sure it was still there.
Now that I think back about everything people have said, I wonder if they really care about how I feel about my hair. They think I'm growing it out to look cool, so they feel free to comment about how girly I look. They think I'm going to cut it someday, so they feel free to ask me when I'm going to get a haircut. And they think that because I'm a guy it won't be a big deal if they just alter the length of my hair without my consent.
So now I'm paranoid someone will actually have the guts to run up and snip my hair, then dash off before I can do anything. So has anyone had similiar experiences, and if so, how did you get over it? I'm seriously freak out right now.
While this kind of thing has happened, keep in mind that most people will talk a lot more than they will do. For example, did you really mean that you would actually kill her if she cut your hair?? Or were you just trying to emphasize how angry you would be?? While I would be careful to watch myself (and my hair) around someone who had even semi-seriously said anything about cutting my hair involuntarily, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it.
Jim
You'll likely experience this every now and then, but for the most part, it's really nothing to worry about. My friends joke with me about it, too, but none of them would ever have the guts to try to cut my hair. The key is, if someone seems to be a bit more serious about it, be just as strong with threatening retaliation -- you cut my hair, I'll punish you with something worse. (However, I will say this typically works if you are much taller than your threatening counterpart).
Stay well, keep growing, and don't worry about it. =)
-James
Hi Cloudy
So far, I had been relatively lucky, as most people actually like my hair. For those that do not like my hair, I would avoid them (and block their e-mail addresses). Yes, people made jokes regarding haircuts, but they are jokes, and I learned they are kidding around. But if I do see that person holding a scissors, I just run off from that person.
I did have a few dreams where someone cuts my hair that I have to start over or trimmed to the point that I can no longer put it in a ponytail. After I got a trim in February for my cousin's wedding, I had a dream that I got another trim, meaning I have to wait longer for longer hair. Most of the time, I do not have dreams like this.
My workplace have a lot of long-haired men so I do not feel paranoid, even in public. Almost always, haircuts take place at set locations, like barber shops, rather than at random (i.e. on the streets). And if someone tries to cut your hair while you are asleep, you would probably be woken up and immediately realize that you are losing your hair. If that ever happens to me, getting a haircut while asleep, then if I find out who did that, I will not talk to that person anymore. But that situation is extremely unlikely, since I am a very light sleeper and I sometimes have insomnia.
By the way Cloudy, it is something you should not have to worry about. It is very unlikely that is ever going to happen to you. I like your hair, and I don't want you to lose your hair. I am just stating what I would do if I find myself in those situations. Just don't even think about it. Think about the more important things in life, and think about how cool you will be with very long hair.
Regardless
Oh man, if someone ever said they were going to find scissors to cut my hair, I would either be soooo out of there, or tie it back and guard it with my life! To my knowledge, no one has mistaken me for a girl yet, but if they did, I would actually be quite flattered :)
I once had a nightmare involving the loss of hair too, and boy was it scary. I looked in the mirror and started fingercombing my hair, and it started all coming out! When I woke up I immediately felt to see if it was all there, and it was, thank god...
Hi Cloudy,
I have to say after readying your story I can see why you may feel a bit paranoid about protecting your longhair.First off I would say that the others are probably correct and I wouldn't get too upset about those incidences.You are best to laugh it off but at the same time have eyes in the back of your head just in case.
I had to think back as if that has ever happened to me and finally I did remember one time I thought my longhair was threatened.Back in the 80s I was already working as I was out of school and this one guy in our shop liked to bring up my hair on occasion.For the record this guy is a jokester and he does kid around alot but sometimes he pushes it a bit.Also he is quite a big guy as even though I'm 6' 3" tall he clearly outweighed me as I'd never be able to fight him off.Well one day he decided to pick on my hair again and not only that he pick up a set of shears from a workbench and started to chase me.At that time I recall being terrified but he did quickly back off as we were at work so he would have been in big trouble should he actually tried to really cut my hair.So I can feel for you Cloudy but please don't loose sleep over it but always be on alert.Take care my friend and have a great summer:)
Mark
Over the years, I've come to see this as what the "pack" does to try and get one of the pack back into the "fold" when he has stepped out on his own.
There are lots of examples of this, but a man, young or old, who grows his hair out in this culture at this time in history, is stepping out of the pack. Just by walking around with long hair, he is saying: I am my own. I am different. I am an individual.
Those who identify more completely with the pack feel immediately threatened and, in my opinion, unconsciously lash out, verbally or otherwise, to try and reign in the "stray" and make themselves feel better.
Ironically, we become a pack, here, too! There is, in my opinion, also a kind of pack sentiment that takes over among us longhaired men, and anyone who steps out of the pack gets a verbal lashing. Makes the pack feel better, I guess.
As many have noted here for a long time, growing your hair long, and wearing it long, gives one plenty to ponder about life and being human.
Bob
Don't worry about it man, just enjoy your hair while you have it, when I started it growing out around three years ago a guy in my class cut abit off and I nearly killed him xD After awhile people just get used to it, I'm the only person with long hair in my whole school nevermind age group, they just accept that you have long hair after awhile :)
I was also teased a bit when I was in school about my hair, some would even say they were going to find a pair of scissors or shave it off when I wasnt suspecting it. I dont think any would actually go through with it though, because I was always the "Quiet kid", and if someone actually did try to snip my hair they probably thought I'd come in with an AK-47 the next day and shoot up the school LOL.
But dont worry about it for too long, they're opinions might not change on your hair, but they'll definately give it a rest when they see their teasing has no effect on you
i have the same thing bt its not just peers in school i have my brother and dad that hate my hair but let me keep it cuz ive told them looking them in the eyes that id run away till it grew back and im approching the 2 year mark (2 weeks) so when i get paranoid im not even safe at home
I feel a bit better now. But now that I've thought about it I realize I'm going into highschool in a few months. I'm sure I'll find the right group for me that'll accept me for who I am, and many people will finally start to keep to themselves.
As for a change of topic, pretty soon my bangs will be long enough for me to make an actual ponytail that'll hold. I might have to get a maintenence trim soon though, but I'm actually looking forward to it.
Unfortunately, in my experience at least, high school was one of the most "clique-ish" environments I've ever seen. Way too many people worried about being part of the "in" crowd. Didn't have long hair at the time, but tended to do my own thing in most other ways, and at best I could count my true friends on two hands (out of a student body of 2000 or so).
Of course, my experience is also a quarter-century out of date, so take it for what it's worth [grin]
Jim
Good natured teasing is intended to be enjoyed by all parties. When teasing goes beyond mutual enjoyment, it is time to tell them that you are no longer enjoying it because it has gone on too long, and it is to cease.
If they are your friends it will cease. If they do not cease, they are not your friends, so get new friends.
Bill
You never mentioned if you feel badly now for embarassing "Sally"?
It's probably nothing serious. They probably are kidding around.
OTOH, you can point out to anyone who does talk about cutting your hair off that it's assault, which firstly is a crime and secondly is grounds to sue them for large sums of money.
Also, schools have been known to expel people who cut off someone's long hair. Haydn, the composer, was expelled from school for just that, and his victim was another boy as well. Just because that was hundreds of years ago in another country your classmates have no reason to be complacent that it couldn't get them kicked out of school too. It could, and if not that then at least suspended.
If I were you I would casually mention all the possibilities for jail, lawsuits and expulsion or suspension from school. These penalties are very real, unlike your dreams, and even if they have no intention of really doing anything it may get them to stop bothering you.