new thread
Wore my hair in a Tail again today (I don't like saying ponytail) and come to find out, it's not that big of a deal, I was scared over nothing. I wore it that way Thursday and half a day Friday. I even went out in public for the first time for a bite to eat with my folks with it in a tail, still not big deal. Thanks to those who encourage me to at least give it a try.
No need to respond to this post, just wanted to say Thanks.
Frank
ps. my 1 year of stopping folks from hacking on my hair is next month. Will post a link to a 360 degree video of my progress.
What's the big deal with saying ponytail? o-o
Uh, good for you for wearing one.
Hey Tuckergeek,
I had read your original post re. tailing your hair when I only had enough time to lurk a few days ago; but, now that I have some spare time, would like to respond a bit and add my thoughts on the subject...
I totally understand what it feels like to have to deal with self-consciousness every time one tries out a new and unfamiliar hair look. The first time I grew my hair out, for example (which was in the early '90s), with every added new inch came crazy worries over what people around me would think. And with every additional inch of growth came the difficult decision of whether i could and/or should tie it back or restrain it somehow, or if it would look better loose. My first full tail didn't occur until on my 40th birthday, in the summer of '93.
During my second time of growing my hair long, which happened right after a devastating experience of having a short haircut in Y2K, I was no longer self-conscious, --- all I cared about was getting my long hair back, and getting it back NOW (lol)!!
As it grew out after that Y2K cut, I could have cared less what others thought about what I did w/ my hair... When I needed to work, I tied it back, --- at first in half-tails; then, as it grew longer, in a full tail; then as it grew longer still, eventually in a braid or even a bun (I do gardening jobs, and also cook for a living). I restrained it out of the simple reason that it was practical (not to also mention that there are sometimes safety issues, depending on which gardening tools I needed to use)....
I love it when I have my hair loose and free to blow in the breeze! But, as I've continued to choose to try to grow my hair out longer and longer, I've found that in proportion to ataining a length that is increasingly closer and closer to, "mega-length" (my hair in back touches my belt now), I then have to deal with more and more problems w/ tangles, etc. So, here again, it's all about practicality: Do I want to have mega-long hair, --- or, is it more important that I keep it at a more medium-length where I can have it loose more often??
The self-consciousness of knowing I'm an unmistakeable longhair going out in public, --- whether my hair is loose, braided, bunned, or tailed --- seems to have gradually disappeared over time. Usually my decision about what to do about my hair for each day seems to depend most often on what seems to be the most common sense thing under the circumstances. Believe it or not, nowadays putting it up in a bun seems to be my most frequent choice (probably because it's quicker than doing a braid), --- and yet, I remember when I used to feel TERRIFIED that I would look either totally stupid, or just ridiculous and/or feminine wearing a bun....
The secret, I've found over time, is holding your head up high, --- and not caring one crazy hoot if anybody is staring! This doesn't mean, though, that I don't occasionally use a little periferal vision to stay aware of my surroundings; it just means that I know that if I walk and talk with confidence as I go about my normal daily business, that if anybody has a problem with either the length of my hair, or how I have decided to wear it that day, that this is THEIR probem, --- not mine!!!
It's very freeing, once the whole ordeal is simplified down to the issue of either practicality, and/or just prefence for the day!
There was a time in my life when I never would have even dreamed of daring to wear a braid or a bun out in public... But, now, believe it or not, I find it just about as unimportant and uneventful as whether or not to put some extra cream in my coffee! ....And if tomorrow someone were to come up to me now and say I look stupid wearing my hair in a bun, my response, besides yawning first, would probably be: to laugh (because I would be thinking back to the time when I used to worry over stupid people's comments like that)!
Have fun trying out your new tail!
- Ken in San Francisco
if anybody has a problem with either the length of my hair, or how I have decided to wear it that day, that this is THEIR probem, --- not mine!!!
Geez Ken, that is a scary statement!
Not the fact that you said it; I agree completely. Just the fact that I said almost the same thing word for word on another forum within the last 24 hours about a similar topic!
I've heard that "similar minds think alike" thing. Maybe we both should be worried!
Great response!
Hi Ken, Thank You for taking the time to share your thoughts on my situation. You have a fine way of expressing yourself in your writing. Makes me wish I had paid attention in my English class (how to write proper sentences) instead of day dreaming about why my motorcycle wouldn't start. O well, Thanks Bro.
Frank
I managed to miss the self-consciousness when I started growing my hair, but then, I also didn't have a hostile family/social environment regarding long(er) hair. So, with me, containment has always been about practicality (or rarely adornment).
Yep. I love to have it down, but it isn't worth the trouble/damage on a day to day basis. Down for me and those closest to me, some of my social groups, random special occasions...otherwise, up or contained. I have mega-long hair, and would like to keep it that way!
My usual bun in way easier and faster (for me) than anything more complex than a simple ponytail (banded or clipped)
I always laugh when the "you look like a girl" or "I can't tell if you are a boy or girl" comment comes up over my hair...after giving them my patented Are You A Space Alien look, I say, "It's a good thing you aren't in my target audience, then, isn't it?" And so what if I look feminine or ridiculous...hair is up and safe and I am taking care of daily business.
Yup!
Hi Frank and congratulations on breaking the ponytail ice!LOL.See now it wasn't so terrible was it:)???Hey I wear the tail the majority of the time as my hair is so long.Its just a way to make going outdoors livable especially if its windy.Glad to hear it all went well and I'll be looking forward to your 360 video update.Take care my friend.
Mark
Thanks Mark, I got 4 compilments from my fellow Church friends today, one of them was the Pastor. It didn't phase the rest, ok, I can live with this.
Frank
Great news Frank. I went out today to a local beauty spot for a walk and there were a number of longhaired fellows, all of them had 'tails', and all of them looked very cool. Oh and I had a tail in too as it was windy. Join the cool club!!
~ Dave
Hi Dave, funny thing is, four folks at my Church paid me compliments today on my hair (it was tailed), and one of them was the Pastor!
I guess I'm in the cool club.
Frank
I'm sure it feels better to be past that uncomfortable moment of
going out with a tail for the first time.
In fact you'll find there are times when you would prefer it in a
tail.
Kevin
Thanks Kevin.
And to think, it only took 4 days to erase a 35 years mental block!
Frank
I know the first time I go out with a tail, it was difficult before I did it but not that big of a deal afterwards.
Congratz and I'm sure you will use it a lot more from now on.
Thanks Vincent, well it was my Sister that kind on pushed me to do it, and since she would have to do the tailing, I gave it a try.
Frank
I'm glad you were able to get over your umm... concerns. Now you are free to try other styles for different needs and occasions. Some won't work, that happens, but when you find a style that looks good, and controls or protects your hair for whatever your activity, then you have won.
Can you get a pic of you with a tail for us?