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I'm still alive, more or less. I've been exceedingly unhappy and have had little desire to talk to people, much less people on the internet. I'm pretty sure my life is on a one-way track to disaster and it's just going to get worse day by day, so I just try to enjoy life as much as I can and hope the passage of time doesn't go to quickly for me.
You might remember me, you might not, but I've been a member here for a while now. I've had virtually nothing to say here all this time, and probably won't for quite a while after this.
I couldn't tell you the last time I posted here, or took photos of myself every month. It's a complete haze. I'll probably never be able to recall when I first started growing my hair out, so I couldn't possibly tell you what update this is. It's probably been more than two years, but I'm not really sure.
On an unfortunate note, my friend who I live with decided to get his hair cut. It was almost as long as mine was, and he snuck out while I was asleep and came home with very short hair. He seems to have gotten some desire to donate his ponytail to Locks of Love (Yeah... >_>). Frankly, I stopped taking factors for him doing this into account a while ago, when I came to the conclusion that nothing I said could've changed anything, since I said just about everything worth saying. At any rate, he doesn't seem to have any regrets about it, so that's that.
As for myself, I've no intention of cutting my hair. Like I said before, I intend to have it well below waist length, period. The witch of the house, I will say, is a total b**** to be around, though. She imposes on the way I dress, makes me tie my hair in a ponytail virtually all the time, insults me and my friends, is the biggest neat-freak on the face of the earth (and "hates the smell of boys") and always has something to do or say to ruin my day.
I'll tell you this much, she's the scariest f***ing person I've ever met, and I've met some scary people. Ummm... among other things, my dad threatened to have one of my friends gunned down once, as well as the fact that I was once in an uncomfortable situation in a Savers thrift store involving a rather unstable individual with a knife who wanted me to help him set up a computer to play CD on, and I don't think these even hold a candle to this. I'm pretty sure she's the current reason why I currently have little desire to live.
I'd really, really, really like to find some alternative to the crap I have to go through that isn't actually worse instead of better (i.e. thinking living with my friend would be better than living with my dad. At least he'd let me sleep a reasonable amount of time, didn't have an irritating, mind-numbing, "urge-to-destroy-everything" annoying accent and attitude, there were usually clean towels so I could dry off quickly after I shower, and the little food we did have almost always tasted good). I generally avoid eating or drinking anything in the house that isn't mine out of fear. I'm just relatively happy she hasn't forced me to cut my hair. That's just about the only personal thing left.
My life is pretty well controlled, and I'm pretty f***ing miserable because of it, so this may very well be the last you see of me this year. I'll stick around for about a week or so. Wish me luck in life, 'cause honestly I could really use it. I don't think any advice will really help me, if I thought moving into my own apartment was reasonable I'd have done that a long time ago.
On the bright side, my life is actually pretty enjoyable when I stay over at one of my friend's houses. I just sleep on the couch, and we usually play video games and watch movies. That pretty much keeps me somewhere on the sane side of things. Well, that's my update. Current photos of me from today, and my life.
Hi Grant,
I'm sorry to hear that life is not as its best at the moment and I do hope things improve and yes I'm only one of those people on the internet. I'm sorry your situation is not that great and it's a shame as people have do this "locks of love" and I've never understood and with previos threads here we know the hair is not always used.
Thanks for the update and what an amazing difference and how your hair has grown and looks wonderful. I hope you do do keep it growing and it's great to see a great head of curly longhair.
I just hope like perks up and is more postive and rosey in the future.
Cheers,
John.B
Hi Grant,
Your hair certainly looks wonderful and I am very envious of the long curls.
About your home life situation: the day will soon come that you arrive at an age wherein you are older and able to get out on your own thereby extricating and separating yourself from this poisonous host of black fiends and fire-mouthed and horrid Tartarean monsters that seem to both dominate your physical and mental life. When you get out and realize that there is a whole new world out there aside from your family, it will be as if the burden has dropped from your shoulders and you will lightly trip through life with the assurance that you can be who you want to be and think as you want to think and to hell with the naysayers and disfunctional parties. I think you have started to believe what they say about you, and you are mistaken in that respect. We have talked before about your talent with words; capitalize on this and use it. The day shall come; hang in there and fight the good fight and run the good race. You no doubt are a mentally strong fellow who can endure and come back into the light soon.
Matt B.
First of all, from a hair standpoint this is a great update!
Second, you don't need any advice. You have already figured out the answer. Just go back and read the last paragraph you wrote.
You just need to figure out how to make it happen for good.
I wish you the best.
Hi Grant
Well I certainly remember you as the last time I heard from you was last year when I was taking a trip to Pheonix.If I recall correctly you are from that area but due to travel plans I missed out on meeting some cool people from that area.
First of all your hair is down right awesome:)Thats is a fantastic head of hair.I would say thats one thing you have to be mighty proud of.I especially like the second pic.Its a shame your friend went out and returned with a surprise haircut but hey you can't control what others do for the most part.That kind of goes for you too Grant.At some point in your life you will have to break free of your home situation as it sounds as its very controlling.The best example that I can think of who had a similar situation was Ken aka Urban Cowboy.I know that he said he had to leave home as a young adult and even give up college due to a controlling father.So your going to have to make some decisions at the appropriate time.I don't remember who old you are now as you'll have to at least wait until you are 18.
So Grant in the meantime just think of anything thats positive in you life as thinking of the negative won't help you at all.Anyway I'll be thinking of you and hope someday you'll post a real positive update to the board as you have many friends here.Me included.Take care my friend and just keep the faith:)
Mark
One thing that IS for sure is that you have an outstanding mane and it is looking superb! Great accomplishment.
As for personal problems, it might be the best idea of all to consult with a professional who may be able to help you.
Again, your long hair is looking great!
Hi Grant. I really like your curls in your hair. Just don't cut it.
About your life, however, I feel very bad for you. I think you should do the following: I would move out, get a roommate (or have one of my friends be a roommate), get an apartment a significant distance away from home, and cut out my parents completely so they can no longer control me (i.e. not go back home, block all phone calls, block all e-mails, not tell them were you live, etc) for a very long time, maybe forever.
As for your friend with a surprise haircut, remember, you have no control over what others do.
But I do not see why your dad wants to gun down one of your friends. That's extreme. There's way too many shooting incidents that have happened and we do not need more. If he actually did, he will be off to jail, for sure.
And in public, if you see someone that looks suspicious, unstable or mean, just stay away from them. Just walk away, do not talk to them and do not help them out. It will save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
Always think positive. Never ever say that your life is going to get worse or that you have little or no will to live. That's stinkful thinking. Be optimistic. Think about this: you will have a nice job, a nice house, a nice wife, have kids, have lots of good friends, and move where you want to be. If things does get worse for you, talk to a professor. He may help you out.
I think the single, most important solution to this problem is to get out and find somewhere else to live (i.e. a friend's house, an apartment, anywhere other than your parents), so that only you (not them) can control yourself. If your parents the source of unhappiness and such, maybe you should not see them and talk to them anymore. That is the best solution I am able to come up with. Yes, you are old enough to move out and live on your own.
And I do want you to stick around on this board.
Regardless
My MySpace - feel free to add me as a friend
^ I can't tell you how much I'd like to do that, but I'd have to be able to hold a job to pay for that.
^ Easier said than done. :)
^ To be quite honest, I do think it's going to get worse. I'm pretty sure this hag is getting tired of me being there, and I'm at least 70% sure she's deliberately trying to make my life hell. I don't really see myself having a nice job, or especially a nice house. I've never lived in an actual house before and I don't see myself living anywhere but an apartment or the like. I don't think I'd want a wife or kids.
Well, I'd almost want kids, but when push comes to shove I think I'd rather not.
As for talking to a professor, do you mean a college professor? I dropped out of college completely after I failed every single class I enrolled in. :(
Wow! You've made a lot of progress, Grant. Sorry to hear about some of the lingering problems, but we all have them, I guess. Still, stay well and keep it growing! =)
-James
Thanks.
Eesh. Sorry that you have to deal with that sort of crap. Is there any chance that you could move? It's obviously not healthy for you to live there with someone like that around.
And your hair suits you incredibly well. ^_^ I hope you decide to stick around.
No, there's nowhere I can think of that would be any better to move to, and I'm not exactly financially well off by any means so I can't really keep up with any rent.
Hi Grant,
First of all, congratulations on such an oustanding update, and yes, I DO remember you. Your hair is thick and healthy, and your curls are outstanding.
I hope you can really try to look on the bright side as much as possible. You sound very depressed in your latest post, and I hope that you can put negative thoughts out of your mind, and accent the postive! Life is a lot more pleasant that way.
Take care,
David
Well, I've tried everything outside of drugs and alcohol to put negative thoughts out of my head. At any rate, thanks for remembering me and stuff. I'm having a harder time than I thought I would remembering people here.
I've been through some serious depression. Stay away from alcohol. If you don't have a chemical inbalance, than you need to just keep yoursefl busy. Find a hobby that is outdoors related. Hiking, kayaking, identity of things in wildlife, from plants, trees, animals, birds. All kind of things that used to be stupid too me. I move on from one hobby to the next. You are going through something that is too much, but you are getting it out of your system. Unless you have a chemical imbalance. Make sure you go see a doctor to find out about that. If not, just gotta stay strong. Life still is hard, when you feel better. But not nearly the same as it was after some of my severe depression. I still have it, but i mangage it. Don't forget to laugh at yourself. You can't take things as seriously all the time. But remember one thing, you got some really kick but hair.
Your hair is superb, Grant. Absolutely gorgeous. From what I can see, you have about 3 years of growth. I know that depression can cause memory problems, but I know how fast hair grows and you have 3 years worth. I suffer from depression too and it not fun. Try to get some help for it. There are much better treatments for depression now than ever before.
If you are having real difficulty feel free to e-mail me.
Scott
You have some COOL looking hair Grant!
I pray some positive thing start to happen in your life.
Frank
Grant, Beautiful dark wave into curls. Awesome!
peace, jonalbear
Hey Grant, I remember well and its good to see you. I like many others here hope your good. Things can be tough but you can over come them. It not always easy but but you can do it so keep thinking positivly and take care of your self ok. There are alot of people thinking of you and wishing for the best.
Excellent!!!!
Don't know you from before but I haven't been around for a long time. Your hair looks super!
Hope you can get out of the depression, try to get some help with it.