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Good morning. I live at home and my mam tells me every day to cut my hair, I look like a gay, a clown, I'll never get a job and no girls will like me looking like that, etc. By the way I have shoulder length bleached hair. Anyway I do find this very upsetting and I tell her but it makes no difference. So I'm not trawling for sympathy here, and I would never take sides against the family. I just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences or advice, thanks a lot.
Well that thing about girls is bull. If anything you'll get more attention: alot of girls love to sit and play around with it (your hair I mean), platting and braiding it in different ways, just because SHE doesnt like it doesnt me NO ONE will. The job thing isnt true either. Tying your hair back looks tidy enough plus although alot of people are narrow minded, not everyone is. Once again Ive never seen a gay man with long hair. The clown thing just doesnt make sense. The best thing you can do is ignore her: its your hair and you want it like that, why should you care about what anyone else wants YOUR hair to look like?
I have to disagree. The majority of employers WILL choose a short haired person over a long haired one. Ponytails are fine and dandy but ultimately they will have pre-concieved ideas about you.
The thing with girls is also wrong. Once again the vast majority will not even look at you because of your long hair and yes, they may enjoy playing with it but thats as far as it will go.
I know this may seem a downer but being a longhair was never about being accepted. Yes, people will accept you for who you are and not your looks but only after getting to know you. Lets face it, we live in a shallow society, perhaps 15 years ago things would have been easier.
But we live in a decade where such things as having longhair is frowned upon. BUT the greatest thing to come of this is when you meet
a girl and they accept you, it will be because they are not false and don't run with the rest of the herd. Think of your hair as an "idiot/ho'/slapper" filter.
There are plenty of jobs out there and being a longhair nowadays does present a disadvantage. Sure, the employer won't tell you why he chose the guy who had the SAME qulaifications and experience but just happened to have short hair. But if your good at what you do you should be able to shine no matter what.
Long hair is not just about imitating film stars or rock stars or wanting to be someone else. Thats the worst thing to do.
If your growing your hair you need to be happy with who you are first and if other people ain't happy for you...SCREW THEM!!!
Good luck.
I agree that the vast majority of girls don't like longhairs, but a few do like them intensely. You only need one to marry.
I've got long hair and strangely enough I've found that short haired girls are more interested, look at me first, talk to me first, than long haired girls and generally I've been going out with short-haired girls, (even though I prefer long hair).
has anyone else noticed that? why is that?
Maybe you've got what they want :-)
Cause longhair girls are jealous that your hair is longer than theirs.
Shorthairs don't care since they are not in competition.
i totally agree that women with long hair are in competition with men who have long hair. those kind of women are very catty, materialistic, selfish and obnoxious. you dont want a woman like that anyway. for me, having long hair is about freedom. i couldnt give a rat's ass whether a woman likes my hair or not. i do what is best for me and what i enjoy. i don't believe that anyone should tell another how they should look or dress. Women would be pissed if we told them how to look and dress, so we shouldn't be told how to look or dress either.
We do tell them how to dress. Not personally, but as a society. We tell them that cellulite "is not sexy" through Victoria's Secret ads.
They take the message in, thinking "all men are out to make sure I don't have any chub. If I do, they won't want me. They'll go for the skinny meat."
Their orders are internal, and much worse.
If a man said "I don't care about this this and that", she'd think he's lying.
Men just put up with superficial comments like "get a haircut".
Naturally this makes women the angrier sex. And that's why they let men have it with the haircut comments.
Of course this is all speculation, and isn't 100% accurate.
i totally disagree with your statements about women. women always tell men how to look physically. many women want men who are muscular and toned. that is a myth to say only men desire beauty in women. women want men that are physically good looking. also, the ones that dont want men who are goodlooking, want men with a lot of money. many times you will see an older man with a young girl. its not that she doesnt care about looks, she is into his money. women are much more superficial than men. also, i disagree with your statement that women have a right to be angry bc of what they have been through. they havent been through anything. thats a load of bull. as for women telling men to get haircuts- i stand by what i said. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL ANOTHER HOW TO LOOK OR DRESS. NO MATTER WHAT SEX THEY ARE. MEN SHOULDNT TELL WOMEN HOW TO DRESS, AND WOMEN SHOULD NOT TELL MEN HOW TO DRESS. we are all individuals and we have a right to be left in peace.
Not all long haired girls are jealous. Some the BEST as far as I'm concerned, will always go into a deep tiz because they passionately love long hair just as much as we do :-)
Methinks some people date and marry other person who is good contrast to themselves.
This may explain why conservates sometimes marry liberals.
Thus, short hair women like long haired men.
Also, long haired men like short haired women.
Look at this picture:
http://mangastyle.astraldream.net/book1/nt1-049.jpg
The man wears short hair and black suit. The woman wears long hair and a white dress.
My point is the contrast between the two people is very noticable to others and themselves.
In other words, some real people (if they consciously aware of it or not) look for a contrast between themselves and their significant other.
By the way, I would have used a picture of a short hair woman and a long haired man, but this is the best I can do in the limited time I have to write this.
Multi HMX-12
ABSOLUTELY YES!!!
My wife of 18 years is very conservative looking, short haired 'corporate type'. Never does *anything* "unconventional".
Me, I've the long hair, wear the earrings, wear the 'skirts' (Utilikilts), do the belly dancing, etc. She says life with me is never boring!
-Zorba
Hairy,
Hmm.. this hasn't been my experience. Most of the women I've met really like my Longhair. So too do the guys. It is unique and that is something much appreciated in these days of bland shorthaired clones.
This does depend though, on what crowd you're hanging with. If it is a bunch of folks who are content with looking just like everyone else then you won't have as much luck there. That sort of thing passes though.
Madoc
It's not even my personal experience that long hair turns women off.
It's just that we live in a society where long hair just "isn't cool". Women, trendy by nature, don't want what is not cool.
BULL.
this is not true of all women, anymore than it is true of all men. Personally, I love longhair on guys. So, give us a chance before you generalize. Some people are trend obssesed conformists, some are not, and being "trendy by nature" is not any less common among males than females.
Well of course I am generalizing. That should of been so obvious so as to go without words.
Like the ones in military boot camps for young offenders?
I thought that hippies grew their hair long because they didn't want to get drafted and fight in no war with the Viet Cong! Youth were being blamed for NOT fighting. Then they ended up fighting the draft boards and were called hoodlums! Hey, I thought that the long-hairs are peaceful hippies, but then we found that the biker gangs (who supported war) also have long hair, and that was why long hair was associated with crime.
Of course, the long hairs are not always peaceful, because they have fought in wars, too, throughout history. And there were Bicentennial-flag-waving longhairs who were beating up Iranians who were peacefully demonstrating against the Shah. Even today, our President thinks that Iran is a rogue nation long after the Ayatollah was gone!
I guess that proves that you can't generalise about long-haired people.
That's not true everywhere, I'm 16 and in my highschool people are really cool. Yeah, you will have the average trendy person question it every once in a while but they question everything that's not trendy. Other than that I have never met anyone who cares about how long someones hair is. Some short haired guys have girlfriends, some don't, same for the longhairs. Around here people don't really seem to care much (this is Texas btw.)
I must disagree with your disagreement. I've found that the longer my hair gets, the more girls are attracted to me. Both in the number of girls and in the intensity of their attraction!
I think all of these negitive comments are bull. I've been singing and playing guitar in a metal band for 18 years. I have had long hair every day since my 15th birthday! Im 40 years old. Man I can tell yall some stories about being on tour, and all the fine chicks wanting to play with my hair. Even before we made it big, women would always ask to touch my hair. (Some even asked how I took such good care of it.) The job thing is sort of true, but I have never had to worry about that. When I first met my wife, she told me that long haired men are so sexy. (especially those who play guitar and sing)
Are you Dave or just using his name?
Your not really Dave Mustaine are you?
And if you are: "It's your own fault for kicking James dog!!!"
>>Once again Ive never seen a gay man with long hair. <<
How would you know? Most gays don't walk around with a sign on their chest, or anywhere else that says, "I'm gay" No doubt there are quite a few gay, as well as straight men with long hair. Hair really has nothing to do with sexual orientation!
Yes it does.
Gays somewhat consider their gaydom based on appearance. To separate a gay from a straight, so that other gays know that someone is gay.
That's why short spiky hair is pretty much all you see gays sporting these days. It is one of many clues in a gay's physical appearence that indicates they are gay.
Since few gays have long hair, other gays tend to stereotype that all longhairs are straight.
No, you're wrong! You are the one who is stereotyping. Pretty much 75 to 80% of the population is sporting very short hair these days. I assure you, there is nowhere near 75% of the population that is gay! Of the whole, the most that are gay is approximately 10%. Other gays absolutely DO NOT stereotype that longhairs are straight. You have said some of the most ridiculous things I have heard in a long time about short hair versus long hair!
Huh? Where in the world are you getting this?
OK, then if that is the case, then just about every guy in the Marine Corps and the Special Forces and the Rangers and the Airborne are all gay, right?
I'll grant you that there are some outfits/ appearances/ looks which could be more readily identified with being gay. Or at least with being out there on the cutting edge of fashion. Some gay men are indeed out there on that cutting edge. Sometimes their "look" catches on with the rest of the gay community and sometime that look then catches on with the straight world.
I was always amused at some of the outfits I would see straight body builders wear at the gym as I would first have seen such outfits worn by the gay guys at the gay gyms about half a year earlier.
So, if you are strictly going by appearance then you are way off base. Short hair is included in this. With their short hair, most gay men are actually doing a better job of blending in with the straight community than they are of standing out and defining themselves as being gay.
It is one of the ironies of the age that, with the current fashion in the gay community being the short haired look, most gay men react poorly to Longhairs and most straights don't like Longhair on men as they think it makes them look "gay." Damned from both sides as it were.
Madoc
JOY!
Yeah, Alan, they are back, and folks, let's leave them alone. They've been around for years as have we, and it is just as obnoxious for us to post over there as it is for them to post over here. We say their look is ugly here and they say our look is ugly there. We advocate growing hair, they advocate cutting it. No surprise there. Those are our respective opinions, and let's just leave those opinions said in our own backyards.
Every few months a newcomer to our board finds them or vice versa, and gets all upset, and posts on the other board, and before long we're flaming each other. Neither group is going to convince the other of anything, so there's no point in that.
They have some pictures of longhaired men there, the idea being that they "need" haircuts. So long as they don't use a man's photo without his permission, they are entitled to do that.
If that were a public media outlet, one that shaped public opinion, then we'd have a need to speak out. It's not. It's merely a small private group living their fantasies. So long as they don't do anything to anyone against his will, they are also entitled to do that.
Those of us who've been on the board here awhile know there is nothing to be gained by tangling with each other. Let's not replay any tapes which we know from past experience no one will enjoy.
I second that. Last year someone over here stumbled on a shorthair site over there and then a bunch of folks from here went over there to harras the shorthair guys.
Yes, some of the shorthair guys had the wrong view of Longhairs. Some of those shorthairs were also very extreme in their views of the benefits of shorthair vs. Longhair.
So what?
That is their right to play in their own little sandbox. So long as they stay in their own little sandbox over their and do not try and reduce our rights over here, then that's fine by me. If we make a stink about it over there then we are just as wrong as the idiots who come over here to attack us.
Leave 'em be. Live and let live.
Madoc
Did that include Thorr97?
Does that mean that there shouldn't be any posts advocating forced haircuts (on convicts or anyone else)?
Here are a few, like several hundred: ((grin))
Minus the gay and clown comments, yes. I've had that since 1991. Just gotta learn to ignore it.
-J
Hi
I used to get teased at my school by the younger gits and I didn't even have hair that was that long!! (Down to about chin at the back and nose at the front!). It just goes to show that if anyone is slightly different to the usual hoard of short-haired narrow minded sheep that people usually are these days (in general) then you get abuse. I'm afraid that is the world we live in today. I had people saying my hair looked gay (even though it didn't at all) but I think it was mainly jealousy that I beat them to it!!!
Good luck in life people, and remember, be happy however you are and whatever you look like, after all, you are you, and you are far better inside than anyone who would make fun of anybody ;-)
========
Seems to me that when my hair was short, no one really noticed it, just kinda blended into the background. Now that it's long, it gets noticed, and seems that I get about as many positive opinions as negative. So, after averaging all the responses out, on a scale of 1 to 10, it's still a 5.
Not that it matters much . . .
--Tock
Well, I guess we all have had that sort of experience. As long as you live at home people will allways try to make you see and do things their way. It's just the way it is and the comments will only seize when you are leaving the house permanently. Untill that time, stay strong. Everybody has got to go through a certain "bad hair fase". If you have got straight hair, it will take you a few months. For example (I got very curly hair, sometimes I even think it tends to grow up instead of down!!!), it took me almost a year before I passed that fase. You really have to be deliberate and strong in your decision to grow your hair during that time. But when you pass it, you can really have it all. You don't care about the comments anymore. Stronger, the negative comments will be replaced by positive comments step by step, and you will notice that all the people who get to know you as being a long haired dude, will have less problems with that than the ones who knew you as short haired. As time goes by, you become very aware of your long hair and the way in which it is a part of you. It is your style and represents a certain freedom that is hard to explain to certain people. But explanation is not necessary. As soon as you are starting to explain why you like the things you do or wear (after all, this principle also concerns clothing, music, movies, sports etc. etc.) you will open an endless discussion that is going nowhere. So just fuck it, it really is not even worth to talk about. It is just difficult for most of the guys, because they are starting to grow their hair in their adolescence, which is an awkward period in their life anyway, apart from the decision to grow your hair.
I just can give you one advice: the hair should be a part of your whole appearance. With the decision to grow my hair, I also decided to do some serious workout. The workout really helps you to gain self-confidence. And this is the truth, fitness or working out has a physical as well as a psycological effect on the human being. Just for example, to get down to the level of the narrowminded; when they see a slim guy with long hair, they will call him a hippy. On the other hand, when people see a fairly muscled guy with long hair (for this example we take the same guy), they will refer to him as Tarzan or Braveheart or something like that. While it still is the same guy. It is stupid, but that's the way it works. So, my fellow long-haired friends; grow your hair, in the mean time work out, gain your self confidence, do the things you like. In time YOU will be the one the chicks are coming for. Just keep that in mind.
Sebastian Bach from Holland