new thread
In wanting to congratulate Bill & Larry, and join in celebration of their joy (and the fact that they already have 31 years of commitment to each other), I was just thinking back about an interesting comment that I heard over the radio one day, during the time a few months ago while politicians were right in the thick of heated arguments over the "rightness" or "wrongness" of whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry a member of their own sex....
All I remember from the radio "discussion" was when some incredibly emotion-charged voice spoke up strongly against the idea, saying something to the effect that if same-sex marriage were to become legalized in the United States, that this would then turn the holy state of matirimony into a total sham.
The voice that spoke up immediately after that was as calm as glassy waters, asking in a very level-headed manner, "And what damage could homosexuals possibly do to the state of marriage that heterosexuals have not already accomplished?"
Think about it. (LOL)
- Ken in San Francisco
That's a good one Ken. I'll tell another story in this same vein, thinking much on these things these days. I am a Unitarian-Universalist, and we are a welcoming denomination, which means we openly welcome and celebrate all human beings. In particular we welcome the GLBT community and our clergy perform gay unions in states where marriage is not legal, and marriages, of course, where they are. There was an attack on one of our congregations in Knoxville, TN a week ago by a man who apparently faulted UU's for our liberal stance on things, gay marriage in particular. Two people are dead and several more wounded after his shooting spree during a Sunday morning service.
Years ago when my eldest child was 9 or 10 (she's now 21), Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman was routine Saturday night viewing at our house. In this episode of "the wild west" Walt Whitman was coming to town, and Dr. Quinn and her family were setting up a local meadow for a series of poetry readings by Whitman. The whole town was going to turn out. And then, word got around that Whitman was a "nancy-boy". The town immediately began to boycot the reading.
At a commercial break, my daughter asked me what they were talking about. I explained to her that some men loved women and some men loved men (same for women). I told her that Walt Whitman was a man who loved men. She said: oh. Do we know anyone like that? I said: sure, our neighbors next door (called them by name--these guys had been together at that point 10 years longer than my wife and I). Oh,she said: I just thought they were best friends.
We concluded that, of course, they were best friends. And that was it. I will add further that in all the years of raising our children, we never had better neighbors than those guys next door who treated our children like their own. That was Alabama, though, and they still live there, unable to marry, after what is now approaching 40 years together.
Bob
Thanks, Bob, --- always great to hear from you!!
That's a very moving story, and I've always heard good things about Unitarian-Universalists. Also, it's my understanding that Quakers as well have a very loving and and accepting approach to the GLBT community.
I was raised a Christian Scientist, and when I was younger, the generally-heald view among most C S church members at that time was that homosexuality could/should be, "healed"... In 1981 I myself got married (to a woman), both of us holding onto that view, hoping our marriage would be successful. Unfortunately, six years later, our marriage eventually ended in divorce, --- the full acceptance of my sexual orientation being a wiser and more realistic direction for me to pursue than in trying to continue constantly fighting against my internal feelings, thus living a lie. Luckily for me, my ex-wife and I have remained good friends even to this day, --- and she, like many of the more modern-thinking Christian Scientists that I know nowadays, tend to now view the topic in a fully supportive manner (finding more healing in acceptance than in denial of one's sexual orientation).
I often think about a needlepoint image that my grandmother did which she framed and hung up in her home, visible when you first walked in her front door. "Love Spoken Here", it said. And that's all that should ever matter in a home, --- whether gay, or strait!
On a sadder note, a very close friend of mine named Doug was disowned and disinherited when he came out to his parents after he finished college in the early '70s. Being strict Baptists, they kicked him out of their house, with the only family member willing to take him in until he got himself financially on his feet being that of an aunt living in another state. Every morning before going to work, apparently this aunt would lecture and sermonize at my friend Doug, reminding him of how he needed to change his sinful thinking, --- and that the only reason that she and her husband took him into their home was that they wanted to help him see the light. One day her husband (Doug's uncle by marriage) was left alone with him after she went off to a church meeting. "Why did you do it?", the uncle asked.
"Do what?", my friend Doug replied (Doug had not even experienced gay sex yet at this time; just had figured out his own feelings enough to realize his sexual orientation).
"Say anything to your parents or anybody, when you could have kept it a secret", the uncle answered, --- and then this uncle suddenly confessed to Doug that as a travelling salesman, he got to have sexual opportunities with other men all the time... and worse, he then made a pass at Doug!!!
That's when Doug decided to pack his bags and move out to California, --- even though at the time he knew NOBODY out West, and had very little $$ to survive on until he found himself a job....
Whenever some self-righteous person says that gay men are "immoral", I tell them this story about my late friend (Doug passed away in '91). He was my first regular male dance partner, us having met in a gay C&W bar in SF while taking a lot of dance classes there. We hit it off and became close friends, but never were romantic w/ each other. He was incredibly honest and ethical, and had zero tolerance for any kind of lieing, cheating, or secretiveness.
Now I ask: who was the better Christian, --- my openly gay friend Doug; or, Doug's secretive "closet-case" uncle, the so-called married man, who behind-the-scenes played sleazy travelling salesman games behind his nagging wife's back, yet was the pillar of his local church??
A sad story; but, unfortunately, very very true. All the more reason for us as a society to recognize and value honesty when we see it, though...
Thanks for taking the time to read all this, Bob (and anybody else who made it this far - lol). You're a treasure!!
- Ken
Very very interesting story.
it got me thinking.
It's really sad that your Doug friend died :(
at least he didnt take the story to the grave and other people can use it to reflect and form opinions.
Yes i heard all about this "homosexuality can be healed". I mean seriously. What the ----
And some people are so closed-minded!!!
thanks for sharing.
Shawn
politics are out done for controlling the masses only by religion. Do what thou wilts is the only law. Be happy.