new thread
My parents want my hair styled, because they don't like the way my hair is going naturally. I think my hair looks just fine...but they won't listen. Is getting it styled alright, because I don't my hair trimmed or cut, I'm still in the awkward stage at 9 months, and don't want it prolonged. They also don't want me with long hair as long as I'm "living under their rules", but forget that I'm getting long hair no matter what (I got my school ID today, and I compared it to one when my hair was short, and how my hair is right now, and I look much better with longer hair =])
Patrick_R
When your still living at home it's always difficult because your parents are the boss in the house.
But try to stand your ground, but not let it get a big fight.
Don't know how your parent are like you can decide on this the best.
Hope you can keep your hair and if you do get a trim only let the back trimmed and not your pony or sides because they have to grow longer before they reach a tie.
Good luck on this and keep us updated!
I will, and thank you very much Vincent
Patrick_R
I think getting your hair styled would mean getting it cut or trimmed in some way. It's not ok in that it will delay reaching your goal of longer hair. What can be especially bad is if the stylist wants to thin out your hair or layer it. That can really delay being able to put all your hair in a ponytail and can make the awkward phase worse.
You could try to find a stylist who will work with you towards your goal of longer hair. A good stylist can shape your hair so it looks well-groomed without doing anything which would cause serious problems as your hair gets longer. That will delay reaching your goal of longer hair, but should be more acceptable to your parents. If that's what it takes for your parents to let you gradually get to the length you want, I think it's a good compromise.
Thank you for the advice, I want to get my hair in a ponytail as quickly as possible!
Patrick_R
Alas, so many parents are so hung-up in controling ones freedom to express oneself when it comes to how the son desires to wear his hair. And the "as long as living under their roof" is the excuse-threat used most commonly to control that person.
My opinion? Dig you feet in and do not budge on this single topic of how YOU desire to wear your hair. Sometimes parents give-in, sometimes they become so out of control that you are made to conform to their rules. But I myself would not let it go without a firm but rational (and polite) discussion. And do not bring the topic up 1st...........let them do it.
Best of luck to you.
Ps: For you to break-out in a shouting match would cause you to most probably lose. Show respect mixed with firmness and at the same time do not let anger be heard in your voice. Show them that you are a bigger person than are they.
Thank you, I will try to convince my parents without causing a hassle, I'll keep everyone updated
Patrick_R
My advice is no, don't get it styled. It will take a lot longer to reach a manageable length. You want it long enough to tie back into a ponytail as soon as possible. Once ponytail length is reached, caring for it gets very easy.
Scott
I agree with you, I predict my hair will be able to go in a ponytail hopefully in the next year or so, and I want nothing to prolong that.
Patrick_R
You don't mention how old you are, if you work to earn your own spending money, if you make good grades, etc. There is a lot more that goes into it than just "my way".
I have three kids aged 21, 19, and 16. My son is in the middle of two girls.
Freedom to express themselves and to do things has always been a result of responsibility in our house. If grades were good, household or yard duties were finished, and other signs of responsibility were shown, much more freedom was allowed in areas such as length of hair, for one. If you are doing things that your parents ask of you, sit down with them and discuss the issue. You might be surprised what a rational and logical approach might deliver.
By the time my son turned 15, he had a lot of latitude in making his own decisions. He earned it; it was not given to him. Since that time his hair has pretty much been short to buzz cut; his decision. He is a soccer player, and is now playing in college. His hair is short because that is what he chooses; not because of any outside pressure to do so.
I recommend strongly against the "draw a line in the sand" approach. Inviting confrontation with your parents at this stage cannot bode well for the future. It may be necessary to go this route, but it should be a last resort, not a first approach.
I wish you the best.
George
Thank you very much, I've always gotten good grades, I've treated my parents very respectfully, and I just wish it's about time they respect the fact that I wish to have long hair. I might change my mind in the future, maybe not, but for now, I wish for longer hair. The most important thing however, is that if were all happy in the end.
Patrick_R
Go to a recommended stylist and stick with them (don't go to a different person each time). And remember, you usually get what you pay for. Pay a little extra to get someone who do exactly what you want and who wants your return business.
I had a standing appointment every 12 weeks during my growing put period. She trimmed about 1/8 inch off at each trim....not noticable at all. And guess what? My hair was waist-length in 3.5 years, while still looking good during the whole process. This is why most women's hair looks good during the growing process...they get small trims along the way.