new thread
Hey guys -
I'm an occasional poster to this impressive group.
Some of you remember my tale:
- Grew up in an extreme religious environment (with buzzed haircut, just like Jesus had in his Republican days ....)
- Left that environment after college and grew hair to shoulder length
- God said: "You're looking too much like Jesus in his Democrat phase, and so I'm going to curse you with Male Pattern Baldness"
- New trendy Friends & Associates response was: yes, that sucks for you, but to be socially acceptable, your responsibility to our sensitive sensibilities is to shave your head, which I did for a decade
- Finally said, "To hell with false religious haircut standards. And to hell with false trend-conscious haircut standards. Bald-on-top or not, I WANT LONG HAIR WHEREVER IT CAN GROW LONG!"
That's the history. I'm now 9 months into that growth - looking great on the sides & back. Yeah, the top is thin, but I don't care about that anymore.
Here's the question:
My best friend is getting married this weekend.
I'm his best man.
EVERYONE (except my friend) wants me to get a haircut for the occasion, as a sign of respect.
My friend doesn't care. But OTHERS feel I am disrespecting him by not getting my shaggy, scraggly hair cut or styled for the wedding.
The wedding is ONE day, (but the pictures last a lifetime).
At this point, I am not planning any change.
I like my hair shaggy & scraggly. And I don't want to style it - much less cut it.
Am I disrespecting my friend (who doesn't care one way or another) even in the eyes of others?
thanks guys -
Your friend doesn't mind what you look like. He's more concerned that you show up at his wedding. I'd go along with that personally, and sod the rest of them. If you want to make any concessions to the formality of the occasion and rein your mane in, gel it back or something like that, but otherwise, as you say, it's one day so why waste all that growth.
They want a sign of respect? I find that rather strange, as they don't respect the way you are.
Sure you can find a way to make your hair look good without cutting it off.
If your friend is happy with your hair as it is, then it is nobody else's business. They are using the occasion as an excuse to make you cut your hair. you have done what others want for long enough, so it is time to do what you want.
Wear it in a tidy style - tied back in a ponytail or braid if it is long enough, and think of all your friends here if anybody criticises you.
A wedding is the happiest occasion for your friend and his bride. I think you can make all happy, including yourself, by gelling your hair back, a well placed bobby pin if necessary but don't cut at all. You'll want to try this out ahead of time to perfect it (you don't want to look like a grease ball)
If you go to the wedding "scraggly", your friend may not mind, but there may some uneasiness about and that may make your friend uneasy.
Hey, good luck and have fun!
Bruce
Oh yeah. I read your post about the wedding, and yes, I went to my cousin's wedding back in February. My dad forced me to get a trim, or he would not let me go to the wedding. I live in Washington, but the wedding was in North Carolina, and I wanted to see another state in the US.
By the way, my sister is planning to get married a year from now. To alleviate having to get another trim, I rather have my mom/stepfather take me to the wedding as opposed to my dad.
Just make your hair look as neat as possible and don't listen to any haircut commands.
Regardless
Thanks for your post of two common "problems" that come up often.
First; MPB is NOT a curse....it is a natural part of maturing that occurs to some degree in nearly all men. As older men are now allowing their hair to grow, we are seeing many longhair men with MPB......and it looks just fine. Look at old photos and you will see that this was actually acceptable fashion "in the day".
Second; Wedding days are special and you make a great point that while it is only one day, the photos will last forever. However, you friend asked you to be Best Man not for your appearance, but for your friendship.
Do your best to make your hair look as neat and formal as your attire. If you should happen to be an a particularity unruly stage, do what the women do and have your hair styled (NOT cut) the morning of the wedding.
Then remember the ring, make a good toast, forget your hair and dance the night awasy !
Good Luck and let us know how it turns out.
WWT (Walter White Tail)
No you are not. He chose you WITH the hair and has expressed him himself unworried. That is what friendship is about. Go and enjoy the day AS YOU ARE and just ignore those others who have some misplaced notion of what is 'right'.
Hey lifobryan!
If you don't want to cut it and, especially, if your friend doesn't care then let it grow. I might consider having it styled a little myself, but that's just me.
Take care, good luck, and keep it growin'!
Brett
Growing My Hair Out...Again! Progress Pics
G'day lifobryan
My two cents worth is to simply tuck the hair behind the back of your ears and leave it as it is.
Your friend doesn't seem to mind so it's the people who matter most you should listen to not those pharisee-christians who think appearance more important then substance.
Kind Regards,
Duncan Roy from OZ
Greetings Life...no you are not dis-respecting your friend...and all those others apparently are dis-respecting you for the selfish and insensitive suggestion that you cut your hair. Congrats on your decision to keep growing and for your inner strength for this and for which you abundantly displayed when you broke free of religious dogma.
Yours in reason, (as far as religion goes)
Max
I went to a very close friend's wedding while I was about halfway through the most difficult part of growing my hair out. He was overjoyed that I was in attendance. Don't worry about the pictures, they are forever and will show that you were growing your hair out when this event occurred. Grow your hair for you, and expect your friends to welcome it. Mine have.
If your friend doesn't have a problem with it just keep your hair.
Wear it in a ponytail.
you a very funny individual, and you dont have to cut your hair for anyone, keep it growin