new thread
Hey Everyone,
Thanks for the advice and encouragement! I really like the positive energy of this board.
So here's the update on the wedding haircut situation:
I talked things over with my friend (the Groom). It took a long time to pull it out of him - but he eventually said, "I don't want you to cut your hair if you don't want to - but maybe you could clean it up a tiny bit for the pictures." I can't fault him for that - my hair has been getting pretty unruly. And he really squirmed when saying it. He clearly didn't want to say anything,
So, I went to a stylist this morning, and asked for a: "Very, very slight cleanup. Do not cut any length." The stylist said he would only trim unruly ends, but it would not affect overall length.
Well ....
I watched him work, and it really looked like he wasn't doing much at all to my hair.
However, after blow-drying, it looked like he had cut a full inch all the way around, and thinned out another inch of bulk from the sides & back.
I looked like John Ritter had willed me his haircut after he died.
My hair looks exactly like it did in June now - so I've lost three to four months of growth.
AAARRGGHHHH!
Talk about an "Angry Inch"
I couldn't have been more direct or clear with the stylist.
AND I watched him!!! (Granted, I don't see well without my glasses on, but I tried to watch as carefully as I could).
I know it will grow back - but a 4 month set-back is no fun. I think I'm most upset over the sides - my hair was hanging well below my earlobes this morning, and now it is above them.
More frustrating is the overall shape. This morning it was big and bold and shaggy and unruly - exactly the way I like it. Now it is small and wimpy and polite.
Well ... I don't foresee being in any formal photographs after the wedding on Saturday. So aggressive re-growing begins tomorrow!!
Anyway - thanks again for all the feedback.
Any thoughts on how I could have communicated better with the stylist?
Thanks Guys,.
(lifo)bryan
You did ALL you possibly could in communication and the stylist still didn't hear you. Alas, such seems to be the case with just about all of them. They either have a condition known as "Selective Hearing," or merely say yes, yes, yes and then go on their own merry little way and cut, cut, cut which they are really all about and SO WELL known for.
I am reminded of a scene from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS where the nature of Buffalo Bill (serial killer) is discussed between the bent Doctor and the Agent Starling. His nature was the he covets things.
On another angle Hair Stylists love to CUT hair for that is their nature!
Heheheh - I think you are right about Silence of the Lambs.
I suppose it's also important to point out that if you KNOW you are dining with a cannibal, you KNOW you might end up contributing more to the meal than you planned!
I think there's a metaphor in there somewhere .....!
Thanks for the thoughts! I think you are right. I should have just gooped it, and not trusted a stylist. Well - back to re-growing!
sorry to hear that it didnt work out the way you pland it but hopefully it will grow the way you want it as i do
Thanks man,
I appreciate the encouragement.
I just wish there were a way to make it grow out faster ... like the hair-growth equivalent of pulling an "all-nighter" in school .... cramming two months of growth into one.
Im sure it is not as bad as it seems. We always tend to over analyze in situations like this. What is probably realy bothering you is not the trim itself, but the fact that you went through with it to make others happy. Now you are unhappy because other peoples opinions influenced you to do something that you realy didn't want to do. I know the feeling, and I'll never let it happen again. If you are going to go through the awkward phase, and realy expect to pull through you have to be pretty determined. Things pop up out of nowhere and people will expect you to conform-to give up this "phase" your going through and get a "mens haircut". There is nothing wrong with trying to look neat for an occaision. There are plenty of goops and greases out there on the shelves that will help you out. Cutting, however is out of the question during the awkward phase, as it only prolongs it. Just remember how you feel right now for next time the situation pops up...because it will. Good luck man
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I certainly miss the physical aspects of "bulkier" hair - and you're right, it will grow back. But feeling obliged to make an unwanted change purely for others' opinions is troublesome - and tricky. Some of my over-reaction to this probably stems from my days trapped in a strict religion. thanks for the thoughts. In 3-4 months it should start looking okay again. And then ... onward to big and unruly!!
To bad the trim didn't work out like you wanted too, it's always a risk to get a trim. But it will grow back eventualy.
Yeah - lesson learned!!
Active re-growing starts now!!
Thiere isa moral to this tale:
Either DON'T get your hair cut or else make very careful enquiries about any stylist before you do. Maybe get a friend to do it.
Even this isnt the best option!!
I have a friend whose ex-boyfriend had shoulder length hair. she was bored and told him "hey can i trim off ur split ends?" and he said "ok!" and she just hates guys with long hair but never told him in their time of going out together. so, she cut it REALLYYYY short for him and he was like "what have you done!" and she said "oh, i hate long hair on guys".
GRRR
don't worry, we're not very close friends...
Unfortunately, this is all to often the result of going to a stylist, unless you find someone you can really trust. They'll do what they 'think' you want, or what *they* think will look good, often according to current trends.
Fortunately, while this is a significant setback, it is the nature of hair to grow, so now you can move forward, annoyed but wiser.
Jim
My moral on the story is only go to a trusted stylist you know or trust never just do it for a wedding however much pressure they like to bring. But I suppose you a stay it's growing back again!
Cheers,
John.B
Weddings are a classic problem. They take one day, and growing hair takes years. I used to get a trim when going to other people's weddings, but I had a personal rule not to get a trim more frequently than every nine months. Two weddings in that time frame meant one haircut.
I am speaking in the past tense because I haven't had a trim since 2004.
As for hair stylists always taking too much off, they always do. It's best to set an amount you want to have removed and then tell them half or a quarter of that amount. If you ask for 1/4 inch off you might get away with an inch. Ask for an inch and you'll be lucky not to lose at least three inches.
The easy way to avoid this problem is to stop getting trims (see above).
Let's look at this unfortunate shortening of your hair as a good thing...stay with me...
Oftentimes, when one sets out to acheive a certain goal, he stumbles, falls, gets knocked down by others, gets discouraged, or just plain gets set back. But then he gets up, brushes himself off, and has a much greater resolve and fortitude about himself, a greater desire and wish to find his goal. When the path is easy, the victory is not as sweet. The hard-won is held more dearly.
So, from today, you grow your hair again. It's growing right now actually. You have realized just one more pitfall and will be more wary and wily in the future. Now, that you have seen the true colors of those around you and what their wishes are, you can better guard against the short-hair promoters and insulate yourself, mentally most of all, for the path is not without more hurdles, but you see them more clearly now and can proceed more surely.
Good luck, and may the upcoming months find you longer haired each day.
Matt B.
Beautifully put.
Thank you!
Over the phone would have been better.
How about a real deep conditioning/oil treatment, and useing a leave in conditioner that day forgoing the trim?
A tip of sorts for going for cuts and trims...actually two words...
Beauty School
Recently, I got a trim to even things out (anti-layering basically) so that all the hair went to the same place in the tail which made it look a lot better at the cost of an inch of hair from the back and really no length for the front hairs coming back.
I went to a beauty school's internal salon where the stylists are senior students of the school. Not only did the stylist listen VERY closely to what I said and wanted, the instructor came over to confirm everything and check all the bases. When the stylist had a question on how to achieve what I was looking for, the instructor was consulted. All of this because theoretically the girl's grade was dependent on my response. Obviously my response was very pleased (and my girlfriend was pleased with the look too so I know it was a good thing). As a side note, I felt like a VIP with all the intention.
I don't know...it just felt and worked a lot better than some of those haircut chains / hair butchers you always see. Plus, it was slightly cheaper too...