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Hi all,
Constant lurker, occasional poster here. I am in the 17th month of growing my bushy, curly hair, December first will mark my 18 months anniversary. My hair is hard to control and certainly requires much more care and attention than my previous buzz. I am in the depths of the awkward stage. Also I am a bit disappointed that my hair looks shorter than it is, because of the curl. My hair has reached 8.25 inches, right on target at a half inch a month. I've had strong thoughts lately of going short again! Sometimes I hate my hair, other times I love it.
Thanks to this board, I have learned what to expect in the process and how to care for my hair. Your support has been wonderful, both directly to my posts and from my lurking.
Soooo...my ponytailed partner just cut his hair, and now has a "businessman's" taper cut and a rubber band restrained swatch of hair. He's telling me how much he liked my buzzes and really thinks a shaved head was a good look for me! He's not pushing hard but clearly stating his opinion.
Given his input and my dissatisfaction, I'm on the edge of giving up! I'm writing this post to commit to the supportive folks on this board that I will wait 2 weeks before I make a decision.
Thanks for listening, this is a great community. I'm glad I can share my feelings here.
Regards,
Don
Hi Don,
I really do hope that you hang in there and keep up the growth of your thick curly hair. I know that curly hair can be frustrating to grow, especially in the beginning, but the rewards of a long head of curly hair are well worth it. For a couple of examples of outstanding curly hair, I am sure that you are aware of Mr. Crow's (Shawn's) and Fallen Angel's manes, and for even longer curly hair, be sure to check Bodhi's avatar. Hopefully, the "two week rule", along with the words of some other hyperboard members that are sure to offer their thoughts, you will keep it growing!
Take care,
David
Thanks David, I appreciate your advice and support. I took a look at the avatars you suggested. Those guys are certainly an inspiration. Mr.Crow's hair is closest to my texture, though mine doesn't form ringlets as much. The back of my hair is more thick and kinky, much tighter than the top and sides. That's the part i like the least. I hope when it gets longer it will relax. The top and sides are starting to. Cheers!
Hey Donald, I would just let it keep growing bro once your hair gets so heavy it will pull itself down and become straighter as it gets longer so dont worry itll def keep looking better with more length added imagine long curly hair to the middle of your back! dont listen to ppl who say short hair is better cause long hair to me makes a person more of an individual and better looking it stands out more :) please keep growing and flowing and youll love it more and more each month!!!
Hi Mark,
Thanks for your comments and support! I'll keep in mind the thought of feeling my hair on the middle of my back. Chances are, with my curly hair, that will take twice as long to grow as straight hair! LOL!
Cheers!
Hi Donald,
Well that's what the two rule is for and I hope you come to right decision for yourself and not anyone else.
I've no idea what a "businessman's" taper cut is and I'm sure I would never have it that short!
Good luck with you decision.
Cheers,
John.B
Thanks John, I'll hang in there. You may know the cut a a 'short back and sides' the top is about 2-3" long
Cheers!
Keep one thought firmly planted in your consciousness. Whose head is the hair attached to? That cranium is the one that should be making the decision. The opinions and advice of others, even significant others, is something to be considered, but in the end it's your hair, do what you feel is right.
Thanks! I'll make your advice my mantra, 'It's my hair, I'll do what feels right.' Thanks for the support! I appreciate it very much. Honestly, the awkward stage is more of a challenge than anything others say. I won't cut my hair to please anyone. I don't think my partner will mention it again, today he told me my hair looks great.
Cheers
That's often the case, as we're often our own worst critics, and the awkward stage can give us plenty to criticize [grin]. Persevere through it, as the result is well worth it.
n/t
Hi Donald.
Yes, it is often higher maintenance to grow out curly hair, and the awkward phase tends to be longer. But the easiest thing to do is to just keep growing out your hair. It is tough, but please do not succumb to your temptation or other people's opinions on cutting your hair off. Don't worry about your partner cutting his hair. Remember, we can't change the past or control other people. Like I said, it is the easiest to just keep growing out your hair. When it gets long enough, gravity will take over, and your hair will aim downward. Once you can put all your hair in a ponytail, then it will become significantly easier for you. Just give your hair time.
Regardless
Thanks for your support Regardless. It's good to hear from another curly kid. Gravity has not been my friend as I've gotten older, at last I can look forward to its effects.
Cheers
Well put and I would listen to this advice.Sometimes support from the curly haired longhairs has more weight than us straight haired guys.Anyway hope you decide to stick it out with the hair as it really is worth it:)
Mark
Thanks Mark,
Yep the curly guys have a different experience. It's good to see their progress, and find inspiration and support. Thanks for your message. I appreciate your support.
Cheers,
Don
You're near the end of the akward stage now, it would be a shame if you give up now! All that long time of growing for nothing.
From now on it can only be better with that added weight.
About the opinion of others, it's your hair so your decision. Don't make decisions because somebody else says so.
Good that you're applying the two week rule, and I hope you don't cut.
Yep I'm glad I learned of the two week rule here. I'm rather compulsive and am glad I decided to wait. It's like writing an angry email but not sending it for 24 hours. That has saved me from trouble a few times. I agree I have come this far, I should stick it out awkward stage be damned!
Thanks much for your support Vincent.
Cheers
Don, you must have seen my 15th month update really recently.
And you know we both have bushy curly, GRAVITY DEFYING hair.
so youre not the only one going through hell, trust me!!
Seriously!
I hope you end up doing what you really want.
Cheers
Shawn
Hehe I like that phrase 'GRAVITY DEFYING hair' The back is a solid mass of tight curls. There is little movement in the wind. It was a great look in the 70's when I had my 'fro. I'll have to find and post an old picture. I used to have my hair 'shaped' into a perfect sphere, sorta Bozo-like. LOL Thanks to you for your supportive message, I'll hang in there.
Hi all,
I've had a silly thought. I think head size affects the length ones hair must be to reach the ponytail goal. I have a big ol' head, size 8-8.25 hat (XXXL)So for me it will take more growth for the hair in front to get long enough to tie in a tail. Makes sense?
OK, I have too much time on my hands! Bsck to comemplating infinity. Or counting strands of fallen hair. LOL
Cheers
Don, I know well the frustration of curly hair. Seeing other recent updates by my straight-haired fellows, it often feels that I am moving at half speed. My hair hangs nowhere near as long as some recent 18 month updates (when dry) and I've been growing almost one year more than that! If you like the look of long hair and and thinking of cutting yours because you are frustrated that the extra work longer hair requires seems to be without the payoff of your desired look, then my answer to you is the just WAIT. Since our hair takes that much longer to achieve noticeable length, we curly-heads should have that much more of a waiting period before cutting.
For a reference and comparison, here is a picture at my 16 month mark. Compare with my avatar which is about 28 months of growth. It takes a while, but you'll (and he'll) grow to love it.
Whatever you decide, I hope you are happy with it.
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
My avatar has not yet been changed. (I'll need to email the pic).
Here is the comparison shots:
After 16 months:
After 28 (29?) months:
A year (and some extra gel) make a big difference with the curls.
All the best!
Shawn
Hi Shawn,
Thanks for your message. First I'll have to say that you have amazing hair! The tight spiral curls are really great looking! My hair is not as curly except in the back where the texture is more kinky. I think I will keep growing and see what happens. Supportive comments from everyone on this board are very appreciated and welcome, but hearing from other curly headed folks is very motivational. I'll wait, and in the meantime stop spending so much time looking at my head! LOL
Cheers, Don
One can spend too much time in front of mirrors or reflective surfaces.
I've even heard that at least one gazer has actually morphed into a new species of flower after a prolonged appraisal. (Can't believe everything I read, though.)
Glad to see you are keeping it up, despite the current (and hopefully passing) frustration with the process.
Cheers!
Shawn
LOL, morphed to a flower! I hoped responses to my post would renew my resolve to keep growin'. It worked! I'm good to go on.
Cheers,
Don
You have to do what's right for you. If that means giving up then so be it but you are doing the wise thing by waiting two weeks. There's so much more to being a long hair than just the hair.
I hope you keep growing but if not I'll respect your decision.
Kevin
Thanks Kevin, I appreciate your being open to whatever I decide. I know that there is more to being a longhair than growing hair. At some point in my journey I will have to confront that reality. At the moment I'm focused on growing and getting through the awkward stage. Someday I hope I'll be a 'longhair' and find what that means to me.
Cheers,
Don
Don, I don't mean this as a criticism towards your partner, but it does seem odd that he has just cut his hair and now he's hinting around that you should give up yours also. And hinting around for something as extreme as a buzz cut or a shaved head. It may not be our business, but what was the reason he cut his hair into a businessman's taper? Was it his decision alone? Or were there outside forces, like job situations? If he wasn't exactly thrilled about his own haircut then POSSIBLY there's a but of "Misery Loves Company" going on. I hope that's not too forward of me to say. We all have felt that dynamic at times, most of the time unconsciously: "I've given up something so you must also." Just wondering.
I'd hate to see you give up that beautiful hair if you don't want to. I know the awkward stage is challenging, but I can tell you from my own observations of others, that most of the time when guys complain about the "poofiness" or the curliness or the "bigness" of their hair during the first year and a half of growing I think it looks great -- full, wild, free, magnificent. You have such a wonderful thickness to your hair; it looks soft and very healthy, and the curls and waves are beautiful. With more length and weight to your hair you will get MANY admiring glances and comments.
Anyway, my best to you. Please remember though that your hair is YOUR HAIR and no one else's...and no one, not even your partner has the right to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do with something that is part of your body.
Scott
Hi Scott,
It's good to hear from you. Thanks for your support. My partner cut his hair because he didn't like it himself. I'm not aware that he had any outside pressure. He reached about the same stage once before and cut it. I didn't discourage him from cutting it as I knew he didn't really like it. Honestly, he looks better with shorter hair. So far is comments to me about cutting my hair only happened once. He teases me sometimes but is supportive. I don't feel really pressured and have a strong desire to be long haired.
Cheers,
Don
Hey there Don, good to hear from you. You have been very patient and come a long way, I would like to see your hair as it is now as I suspect it may be really cool. You know when you look at something every day sometimes doubts do creep in, everyone likes a change now and then, so waiting to make your decision is a good idea.
Good luck, Dave
Thanks Dave for your supportive message. I really appreciate your thoughts. I need to get some pics and do an update here. I'm targeting my 18 month anniversary (Dec. 1) for that. I've asked a photographer friend to take some photos.
Cheers,
Don
Good for you for remembering to invoke that two-week rule, Don. I know enough curly-headed people to know how frustrating the perceived lack of growth is.
Don't forget though, that the longer your hair grows, the looser the curl will get, because of the hair's weight. When that begins to happen, you'll really see a difference in length.
You have to do what will make you happy, but I hope you'll give it more of a chance. :)
My Hair Site
Thanks Franny, good to meet you. Yes, I must be patient. Without the support and advice from this board and people like you, I'd probably be buzzed right now! The responses to my post have been so inspiring and helpful.
BTW your site is very well done.
Cheers,
Don
I'm on track, growing and more patient, thanks to you all!