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I have found that most women are attracted to men with long hair and "most", but not all, gay men do not. BTW, I am gay. I am still trying to find a guy man that adores long hair on another man. I base my observations on a great deal of personal experience. I should also mention that once a relationship is established, a woman may make a request for the man to cut his hair. I think this is because she doesn't want other women to move in on her catch. I personally think that long hair makes many gay men think of a woman, therefore they find issue with long hair. The other night a guy said that if I cut my hair that we might be able to talk. I said "YEAH, RIGHT") This is just my opinion, but I have been around and I will have to stick to my assumptions. Nevertheless, I say LONG HAIR! And I will never go back! I think long hair is a gift from God and I think it makes everyone look better and probably feel better too!
jeffrey
I'm attracted to guys just on the basis that they don't look like they came from the stereotype factory. All the guys at the gym are either pretty boys with pointed hair or shaved head/tattooed/giant muscle men. Within the two subgroups, you can't tell one person from the next. Just the fact that someone is really skinny or has a roll around his middle makes me want to congratulate him on being himself. Of course, I live in Southern California, so it's self-inflicted punishment. There are very few gay longhairs here.
I should also mention that once a relationship is established, a woman may make a request for the man to cut his hair. I think this is because she doesn't want other women to move in on her catch.
Nah, a more likely reason is because women want to change men period. LOL. Has nothing to do with thinking other women will want him due to long hair.
I personally think that long hair makes many gay men think of a woman, therefore they find issue with long hair.
Yup. Most gay men are attracted to 'masculinity' and to them, long hair is a feminine trait.
I don’t completely agree that long hair is a feminine trait to be honest. I am attracted to guys with long hair (if it suits them) just as I may be attracted to others. Am I the only one who has a thing for guys with long hair??? Lol
Over here many girls don’t like men with long hair. Strange world…
^ That statement may be true for some women, but My fiancee has shoulder length hair and he continues to grow it. He always asks if he should get a trim,or if I think him growing it till his mid-back would look attractive. If anything, I would NEVER want to change my fiancee. He is one of those people whom was borne to be a long hair and he is proud of that fact.
Long hair to him is more than a fashion sense, It goes along with his ancestrial roots(swedish) and he is proud of his heritage and such.
I'm sorry if in your expierence women have tried to change whom you were. If that was the case, It is better NOT to pursue such relationships with people whom cannot like you for who you are.
Just my 2 cents:)
Hi Jeffrey, you may want to try our other long hair board. This is for gay and bisexual men. (I hope the link works.) I know of at least 2 couples who have met there.
Gorgeous long hair is a gift from God. Don't let any sweet talking guy woo you into cutting it. Keep the faith, keep it long.
Scott
http://www.gaylonghair.com/board/
"I think long hair is a gift from God and I think it makes everyone look better and probably feel better too!"
Amen!!
Bruce
Jeffrey, The web address for GLH is www.gaylonghair.com.
Check it out.
peace, jonalbear
I personally think that long hair makes many gay men think of a woman, therefore they find issue with long hair. The other night a guy said that if I cut my hair that we might be able to talk. I said "YEAH, RIGHT")
YEAH RIGHT indeed!I'm glad that you stuck to your principles and didn't cave in on that request.You also could have turned the tables on that guy and said this, Hey... if your grow out some hair and behave like a nice person maybe we can talk buddy!Regardless you have fantastic hair Jeffery and you should keep it for life:)
Nevertheless, I say LONG HAIR! And I will never go back! I think long hair is a gift from God and I think it makes everyone look better and probably feel better too!
I could not have said that better myself Jeffery.Very, very well said.Have a great weekend my friend:)
Mark
Hey Jeffrey, congrats on your continuing conviction about staying with long hair. The guy who suggested you cut your hair before a possible conversation is a nut. I have found the same thing...gay guys usually go running in the other direction when they see the long hair. I have grown proud of my hair at this point partly because I am being myself in the midst of all the clones. Nice to see you around again. Stay strong!
Take care,
Max
I agree with you, Jeffrey. We are all creative expressions of God and not showing what we've been created with is a little disrespectful. Of course, there are men that look better with short hair, but I do not think short or long hair should be a determining factor in, say, professionalism. No one should be afraid of finding out what they look like with long or short hair.
I know. I am gay too, and love long hair, most men don't.
Not sure that women all prefer long hair, but it might be true that gay men dislike long hair.
It really is a shame. xD As if I needed another limitation on future prospects. I, personally, usually prefer long hair on men.
Which might disprove the rule, but could just be an exception.
Hey Jeffrey
Good for you! You have gorgeous long hair, and regardless of gender, if one cannot accept you "as is," then that person isn't even worthy of taking up your time.
Great seeing a posting from you and hope you are having a wonderful day.
All the best,
Justin~
I wonder if it is an age thing? Long hair is pretty popular among younger guys now, so I'm curious if the same negative view of long hair is prevalent for gay guys in their 20s? (I'm "upper 30s" at this point).
A semi-related anecdote - I had dinner with a good friend last week - one I haven't seen since I started growing my hair out nearly a year ago. He has often joked that I'm "the least gay gay guy" he knows. When he saw my shaggy self, he remarked "Wow, you just get less & less gay every time I see you." His comments are good natured kidding - but it does reinforce Jeffrey's observation.
My friend is a gay guy in his 40s - and so I do wonder again if opinions are the same for guys under 30?
Incidentally, I'm not sure if I look better with longer hair - but I DEFINITELY feel better. I feel more "myself." Long hair really emphasizes individuality, as everyone's hair grows in a unique way.
lifobryan
I know exactly what you mean there. I know my face suits short hair better, but I feel better with long hair. It's a question of what's more important, how you look or how you feel. For me, how I feel about myself wins hands down.
I think your obsevations are spot on! I think long hair looks great on both men and women! Long live the longhair!
Yeah, this is kind of odd (and, yes, frustrating).
It seems to have something to do with the '60s. The gay scene wasn't like this before then; before the '60s the scene seemed to favor longer hair, but it seems the fact that straight guys could now have long hair (and I mean truly long hair, something pretty much no one in the West did between WWI and the '60s) did something to the "gay community" which caused a reaction in the long term. It wasn't really until the early-'70s that the modern paradigm arose (which, at the risk of sounding uncharitable, I'll call "swishy guys trying to get in touch with their inner palooka"--the very opposite of the rock'n'roll paradigm that attracts me). The influence of the artist Tom of Finland seems to have had something to do with it, too.
It's odd, but if you don't count Allen Ginsberg (which you probably should), it was straight guys who brought back long hair, not gay guys.
My Myspace page
As I see it; if God didn't want us to wear hair long, He would have made it so that it stopped at a pre-set length, much the way body, brow and eyelass hair does.
I have observed a certain degree of hostility towards long hair in the gay community during the nineties. You had to fall within a certain narrow range of traits to be attractive. The cookie cutter look was:
1) Caucasian (with a slight tan, of course)
2) young (must pass for under 25)
3) no glasses
4) no facial hair
5) six pack abs (or at least no pot belly)
6) athletic build (muscular, but not excessively so)
7) short spiky hair (bonus points if you're blonde or brown)
8) smooth hairless chest and stomach
I failed 1 & 3, as well as most of the cultural aspects of being gay (was never much into Madonna). I also observed that being Caucasian in a non-Caucasian community made up for many of the other deficiencies, but nothing could make up for long hair. You HAD to cut it short.
Nowadays, I think they're tolerant of shoulder length hair on young guys (cuz it's teh fashion, u know). But too much longer than shoulder length is still considered freakish. I suppose there will come a day (probably after I'm shriveled and bald) when long hair will be considered hot in the gay community.
As for women liking long hair, I think it's mostly because in the current decade, long hair has acquired a certain mystique about it (indie bands, "Lord of the Rings", and all that jazz). After marriage, it all changes because of the respectiblity thing. Long hair is great on your beau when you're running around wild during your teens, college years, and 20-something years, but when you get married and settle down to have kids in that nice little gated community, you suddenly start thinking about what others will think of your husband. ("Oh my god! What will the relatives, the neighbors, and the PTA people think? Honey, you should cut your hair!")
Amen to that!
Incidentally, in late 2005, I decided that if people didn't like me with short hair, I'd might as well just go ahead and do what *I* wanted --- grow my hair long!
Somebody shoot if I ever get married and end up becoming another soccer mom sheeple. Please.... just shoot me first!
I have this rule, I don't give a gosh darn, or sh*t, whhat the relatives, neighbors, PTA, fellow Church folks, Rotary Club members, etc, etc, etc, think. That must be why I ignore all the current fashion trends that 40+ women, such as myself, must not have hair that extends past their shoulders (I'm now at mid-back, long overdue for an update pic). They must have these cute, perky, bouncy cuts requiring gobs of hair products and a retinue of tools to maintain.
Forget the gated community. Give me a nice plot of land with a modest shack in the middle-of-nowhere and a dude with long hair, and forget what the h*ll anybody thinks!
Did I say someone needs to shoot me if I morph into a PTA mom? :)
LOL No problem Carol if you ever turn into Sarah Pailn we'll put you out of your misery.
Kevin
Hey Jeffrey! Personally i think you look better with long hair than short, it somehow suits your face better.
And while it's true that probably the majority of all gay men have short hair, there are still many that prefer it longer, either medium length or really long.
You just have to find the right one that will accept you for who you are:)
After reading your observations and all of the responses, I think what you said is largely correct, but a few thoughts nonetheless.
My hair, after less than a year of growing, is "long" to the average joe, but not really "long" as we all know it. My friends and I go to Provincetown every year, and this summer I observed two things: first, even with my modest growth, I was in the 99th percentile of hair length among the throngs of gay guys. Second, this caused a fair amount of attention to be thrown my way. Strangers who said they liked my hair. So there may be some appreciation for long hair after all, although I wouldn't jump to say that the reaction would have been the same if I'd been shoulder-blade length (which is where I want it to be).
My partner, quite frankly, would have me cut my hair short again. During the first 6 years it was short. But, to his everlasting credit, he knows it's not for him to decide, and he supports me.
Last, I have a friend that I met in 1999, probably the nadir for gay men and long hair. Then, everywhere you looked, it was spiked hair and high-and-tights. He had beautiful hair just below the shoulders, but always in a ponytail. One day I asked him why he always had it up. It was because "guys don't really like long hair." I admired him then and now for keeping his hair long, despite that.
Finally, what's really attractive is a guy who knows what he wants and is comfortable in his own skin. You seem to be that, and I can't imagine that you won't find the right guy who is attracted to the real YOU.
Chris
Myself and my partner are both longhairs and we adore other guys with long hair, unfortunately a rare site in the gay community as you stated. Neither one of us relly fits in the mainstream gay community either, but thats OK.
Where are you BTW ??? We're in Mass.
My partner has longhair as well in fact longer and better than mine. I've known a few other gay couples who both have long hair but they are rare.
We're in east central Wisconsin
Kevin
speaking as a girl who loves long haired males, i really don't think i'm in a majority. i get razzed all the time for being attracted to 'jesus'. even among my girlfriends, only one of them is actually attracted to long hair. one of them married a long haired friend of mine, but had never considered dating a long haired man until meeting him thru his brother.
when i hear girls say a long haired model is hot, in always end up hearing, 'but he would look even hotter with short hair.' i find that disappointing. but, to each his own.
sometimes a person gets lucky and finds someone who is willing to look at the inside person, rather then just the external shell (as in the case of my friends who are now married). i wish the same for you.