new thread
(This is my son getting an air-brush tattoo in Gatlinburg.)
In the county we live, in Alabama, the school board has a code of conduct for all the schools in their district. Included in this ridiculous document is a hair cut policy for boys. Above the collar it states.
My kids go to one of the schools and my son, a third grader, doesn't want a haircut. We did not trim it the whole summer. When he went back to school his hair was quite long. Mind you, this kid has never been in trouble and is in the RLC, a gifted class. The Ass. principle wrote him a disciplinary action for his hair. Yes, I was very angry and talked to the Principle at the school. I tied up my hair and spoke in a rational and courteous manner. She, on the other hand, became angry and finally stomped out of the meeting. She said she "didn't have time to keep track of who needs a haircut" so I replied that "that was exactly my point".
I talked to the school board, got nowhere. They cannot justify this rule, don't know (or won't tell) how long it's been on the books or even the basis for it.
Other parents and most of the students hate this rule. Some of the teachers and at least one vice principle hate it too.
I did consult with an attorney who deals with issues concerning the school board and he told me the case was a dog and this type case has consistently lost in court. My personal research on line reinforces that.
I've never had a problem with people who wear their hair short and in fact most of my friends have short hair. But because of the school board we decided the first chance we get we are going to move out of this stupid backwards state.
I do feel strongly about wearing my hair long but apparently the "Hair Nazis" feel even stronger about forcing everybody to wear their hair short.
Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated.
This is a tough situation, and I admire your determination to stand up for what is right, both in general, and for your son, specifically. At the very least, were I in your situation, I would flatly refuse to force my son to cut his hair. If the school pressed the issue, I would withdraw my son from the school. Maybe your school board needs to be reminded that their district will lose thousands of dollars from the state Department of Public Instruction if your son is withdrawn.
Here is a picture of my son, an 8-year-old in 2nd grade at a public school in northern Wisconsin. Fortunately, we have not had to deal with any discrimination against him to date. Should such ever occur, rest assured that my wife and I will not tolerate it. In fact, we are already homeschooling the eldest of our 4 children (a 13-year-old girl) due to our extreme dissatisfaction (for other reasons) with our local school district, and plan on eventually homeschooling all of our kids. I know there's a lot of bad stigma attached to the idea of homeschooling, but if it's done right (as we are doing it), a child can receive an education far superior to that offered by most of our country's modern public schools. Perhaps this is an option you might want to consider.
I urge you to keep fighting the good fight. Think of the valuable lesson in personal honor and integrity you now have the opportunity to teach your son. If the local school district won't accept him for being himself, I hope you will say, "To hell with the local school district," rather than, "To hell with letting my son be himself."
--Val
I really, really want to take them to court but this crunch is going on and I just had to take an hourly job. I was doing trim carpentry but you probably know what has been going on with the housing industry.
I wouldn't know how to start with the home schooling idea, I have thought of that but me and my wife both work and she is in school. We are stuck in the current situation for about 6 more months.
Thanks
Paul
Man, I was going to put this in my reply.
That is one good looking kid, he will certainly be a heart breaker!
Thank you, and ditto for your handsome young lad, as well!
--Val
The "ASS. Principal" is the keyword here! i'm not sure what to do in this case, as my none of my schools have had a hair policy (some have hair as long as mid-back!), but i'm pretty sure they can't force a haircut policy. Freedom of expression and whatnot. And this is a THIRD GRADER were talking about, they really don't have any kind of right to force him to cut his hair. You are his legal guardian- i think you have the rights in this case.
Exactly! By the way, she has short hair, above her ears!
What state do you live in?
I'm trying to get an idea of better places to live. The fact that they acted that way about the hair thing is a symptom of a bigger problem.
I live in Florida. Here, we seem to have more than the average number of longhairs, and the whole longhaired "surfer" look is pretty popular. I had a uniform to wear in elementary school, but no hair restrictions. No official dress code in middle school, and a reasonable dress code in high school, still no hair restrictions.
Hey Paul, I feel for you and mainly in a way that you are sticking of for your son and alos trying to let him be a person he wants to be. you sound like a great Dad and I am sure your son feels the same way. I live in Washington State and by what your saying things up here are quite a bit different. We have even in my town quite a fair amount of boys in school with longhair. And they are all good kids and no one short hair or long is ever perfect. My youngest son is 12 and he has hair longer then your son and he likes it. He says it makes him look cool when it sticks out from under his helmet when he snow boards, but its more then that, it is him expressing who he is. He is very smart, two grades above his class in Math and science and is very artistic and has a very good sense of humor. I would not ever what to change anything about him just as you probably feel the same way about your son. Its hard to get across to those who see things differently and expecially those who don't even understand what there fighting for where as you know what your fighting for and thats for your son to be able to be the person he wants to be, and as long as he is happy, he will succeed. My older son has short har, and he likes it too, they both who are who they are. Anyway I commend you for your committment to your son and truely the best to you. Take care
Hmmmm, you know what? I think I'm smarter now than when I had short hair. Maybe there's a connection!
Just joking, we all know it's a spiritual thing. All I saying by having it is that I will be myself and I am not a slave to conformity.
Thanks
I wonder about the maturity of a principal that "storms out" of a meeting with a parent, isn't supposed to be the unsatisfied parent who does that? In cases like these, I would call for the reasoning of such rules. If the hair is clean and well groomed [which, judging from the picture, I would say is the case] Why is it a problem? If it is a distraction, then ask what constitutes a distraction or question why your son is in school with with such unfocused children? [Okay, that last one was a bit catty, but, really people!] What about clothes? Why are student allowed to wear t-shirts and no ties or skirts/dresses? Why are boys and girls in the same room? What style of dress is distracting? What about the change in seasons, to say nothing of the weather? My sons had their hair long [waist length]and it was no problem (Okay, we live outside of the Philadelphia area and not in the south.)One cut his short to look like Harry Potter, while the other cut it to his shoulders, i.e.; its still kinda long. Their hair was to their waist and yet there is still a boy with hair that is longer! Mind you these there were the exception in hair length, rare is the boy [in elementary school] that has hair at least to the shoulders.
More often, these are antiquated rules that are held in place to 'prove' that 'they' are upstanding Americans or citizens. Worries of hippies and hobos comes to mind. [Told you it was antiquated.]If hairstyles are so important, is length their only concern? What of styles?
Consult with you attorney on the following:
If you wish to challenge this it is best to have a vote of no confidence in the school board over this rule. Rally the other parents and teachers and that certain vice principal and show them that they are at odds with the community. Be civil to prove that the apparent fears are unfounded and call for a vote, or motion, to have the rule removed. Make a motion to demand its history or reasoning be explained. They make think that they are the old guard, or that they are protecting the proper tradition/morales/look/status quo of the community. They may even be honesty confused as to why anyone wonder question the rule in the first place. They may just be totally stubborn or self- indulgently self-righteuous, You'll have to judge for yourself. Best to first battle this on the field with support, however you go forth. Who knows, it may even come down to a local vote to rid school district of the rule.
Very cool.
What I was told by that particular lawyer was that I would have to present a motion to the school board and have 50% of the county's parents behind me. That's a tall order.
Thanks
It sounds like that you have some religious right wingers on your school board.
The religious right, has been for years, running stealth candidates for school boards. Most voters probably don't know of their board members association with the religious right wing.
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His hair looks OK to me. It is clean and well groomed. I don't see what the problem is. Those "hair nazi" school board folks need to pull their heads out of their butts and step into the 21st century. Rules like that violate human rights.
If you can afford to move to another state, do so. California is good on human rights, and most, if not all public schools allow boys to have long hair. The short hair requirement at my high school ended in 1969, if I remember correctly. I am in California.
I know of a 10 year old with hair past his waist. He is a friend of the kids that live next door.
I think the northeastern states are also more liberal towards long hair on boys. You might want to look into it.
Scott
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Yeah Absalom, what do they think this is, 1950?
Moving is the long term plan. We are researching where we might want to move to. Personally I like Cali. but my wife has a fear of it and she doesn't know why. Maybe some past life issue. She has about 6 months left in collage to become a elementary school teacher. When she graduates she is going to try to get a job in of of the schools in a town district which doesn't have a hair cut policy. By the way there are a lot of other reasons we don't like the school my kids go to. I have 5, 2 go to the high school. 2 more are going to be doomed to go to that same elementary school. It's strange that some of the other schools in the county don't even enforce the stupid rule.
We're thinking seriously about Tenn. mountain area, close to the indian reservation maybe.
Thanks
Paul
Hi Paul,
First off your son looks great with the longhair:)It's just a shame that some simpleminded school official has to dig up some ancient rule,probably written at the turn of the century,and try and punish your son with it.Really!You'd think they would have more pressing issues to worry about than just a students hair length.I'd like to rank on your public school system but then if you took your son to a private school they might even be worse about his hair especially if its religious based.Probably you answered your own question regarding moving out of state.It may seem like an extreme solution to this issue but maybe there are other reasons to leave as well.Whatever happens I hope you son takes it with stride and in the end gets to enjoy his great mane.Good luck my friend and do let us know how you make out with this.
Mark
Mark, I hate to tell you this but after talking to people my age who went to schools in this county say there was no rule like that when they were kids. (My school was in a neighboring county.) I believe the rule has been added within the last 15 years or so.
Here's something else that might raise an eyebrow, the high school health teacher teaches creationism in class. (The earth is only 6000 years old you know). I have nothing against church people but there is a reason for the separation of church and state. It's called the dark ages.
We want to leave this state anyway. It's too hot, people are rude, income taxes are too high, too conservative, too corrupt. It is Alabama, you know? By the way "southern hospitality" is another way of saying "smile in your face and stab you in the back". The only reason people move here is because of the low property tax, I think we're 3rd lowest in the nation.
My kids are all pretty self confident and not much gets them down, I could go on and on about them.
Thanks
Its unbelievable that in this day something like a boys hair length code would even be enacted.Well then again I've never been to your state so what do I know.
Hey that's funny as I think about my state the same way but with a few adjustments to your list there.It's too hot in the summer and too darn cold in the winter,income and property taxes are WAY too high,too liberal in some ways,and corruption....NJ wrote the book on that one my friend.LOL.Oh almost forgot about the rude people as I've heard this suggestion as a state motto...
New Jersey....puts the FU back into FUN!
HA! How about them apples:)
The only reason people move here is because of the low property tax, I think we're 3rd lowest in the nation.
I wish you and your family the very best my friend.
Mark
LOTF
That's hysterical!!!!!!!
Thank you
Paul
I believe the rule has been added within the last 15 years or so.
This makes sense. There wouldn't have been a need for such a rule before 1967 or so because no one would've thought of it; short hair was simply part of the definition of a male, like having an Adam's apple. Even Edgy, Underground People [tm] didn't really question it. (I think the first dudes in the modern age to grow his hair was the poet Allen Ginsberg in the early '60s, though there was this wrestler in the '50s who wore what we'd call a mullet. England's David "Screaming Lord" Sutch might be in there, too.)
Students won the right to grow their hair in the '60s and '70s because they campaigned for it and didn't stop till they won. And then after a few years everyone let it go, and then long hair was very gently pushed out of fashion bit by bit over literally decades--and that's when The Authorities felt comfortable enough to re-impose the hair codes, because there weren't enough people personally invested in it to put up much of a fight anymore, largely because short hair had been made hip again by punk. Punk's embrace of short hair was a major tactical error--they may have wanted to Kill The Hippies, but really, punk took the changes of the '60s as much for granted as anyone else. Anyone really looking around them would've known better.
My Myspace page
So...are kids allowed to have their hair up? That would keep it above the shoulder...
Nope. the "Code" states "Boys hair must not touch the collar of a t-shirt when measured at full length i.e. loose and unpinned".
Others have tried to fight this, their kid was suspended and they lost in court.
God, I hate control freaks. That takes the cake, they won't even allow it long if it is tied above the collar.
If I had my way, I would drill shafts 10 meters wide and a thousand meters deep. I would then throw them in one bt one kicking and screaming. Once the shaft is getting full (maybe 100 meters from the top) I would cover it and drill another. I would repeat the process until our world was control freak free.
Scott
I always liked the idea of putting them all on an island together and let them fight it out.
The rest of us could probably have some peace then.
I always liked the idea of putting them all on an island together and let them fight it out. The rest of us could probably have some peace then.
LOL!!
I've often thought that, too, though I always had the Mojave Desert in mind for some reason.
I've got to think that eventually a case like this will win. ISTR a judge in Rhode Island ruling for the right to wear a mullet a few years ago, at least. I read part of his ruling, but I have no idea where I read it. There's one thing I do remember that he said, roughly, "We can't expect to have a healthy democracy if we bring up its new citizens to obey, without questioning, rules such as this that have no larger ob ject."
Wait--here it is:
Russell Gorman v. St. Raphael's Academy
I linked to this above, but I just had to share the last sentence here:
"In the instant matter, it would be painfully ironic if students who affected the hair style of Jesus Christ and his Disciples were barred from St. Raphael while the school admitted and encouraged only those whose hair styles mimicked those of the Enron and Global Crossings Boards of Directors."
My Myspace page
It's full of wonderful quotes from other sources as well, from Hair to Pink Floyd to Oliver Wendell Holmes and Benjamin Cardozo. It's a keeper!
Amen brother!
Jason needs to add this to the Links page. Would also be a great add to the Hair Religion website. That last comment above is priceless. I'll take the anti-establishmemt ideals of Jesus and His Disciples anyday over the establishment corporate types represented by the Enron and Global Crossings Boards of Directors.
Thanks Panurge, I'll mail a copy of this to the local school board. Might make them nervous at least.
Paul
That is a good idea too. I will just add that it should be a slowly sinking island. Then eventually they would have to climb on top of each other to keep their heads above water. (I know I can be cruel, but I really hate control freaks.) Their only reason for existance is to make others miserable.
Scott
Amen Brother.
Hey Paul, so sorry about the situation with your son...it makes my blood boil that this is even an issue. I would hope that you take Erik L.'s advise about fighting this from within the system. This is a situation that demands action. It's a flagrant violation of personal rights. I certainly hope that you will be able to muster the ways and means to counter this in whatever way is necessary...although I can easily understand why you would want to move out of state.
Keep us informed of how it all progresses...BTW your son's hair looks great!
Stay strong,
Max
Yeah, I was so angry I started biting her desk. It tool five P.E. teachers to drag me off.
Just kidding.
Thanks Max
Paul
Where to begin?
My theory is it started with the school uniform movement of the 90's. Long hair was everywhere when I went to school in the 70s and early 80s.
Have you contacted the ACLU? But I dunno about them sometimes though.
Anyway short hair is indicative of fascism, in my opinion. People seem to forget that the first thing the nazis did in the concentration camps was to shave their victims hair off!
I highly recommend a book called "The Rise of the Fourth Reich" by Jim Marrs. I'll think of something else I wanted to say after I post this.
Ahaaaa!!!!!!! That is one of my main retorts to those who pop off about long hair.
Concentration camps, the origin of the buzz-cut!
Actually, that was more during the trench warfare in WW1, to keep down problems with lice.
Yes, you are right. The modern military hair cut started for that reason but only history buffs like us know it.
The terms "Nazi" and "concentration camp" are nice little grenades to throw in if the conversation gets pointed.
Gives 'em something to think about.
Longhair, sword fighting, history and, I'm assuming, Tolkien. Me and you have a lot of similar interest.
Sounds like it, and one more thing we have in common. One of my sons lives in Alabama also, but in his case he's out on his own.
Jim
Find a different attorney, ideally one with long hair. They do exist, although I'm not sure about in Alabama...
Cool mane dude.
There is this Jamaican female attorney that I heard about, don't know if she has dreds or not but they are pretty serious about that kind of thing.
Don't really have the money right now to take that route.
Paul
Hi Paul, certainly over here the schools my kids went to as toddlers were ok with it (there was a young lad with hair about the same length as your son's) and my daughter is in comprehensive school (I guess that's your High School), and again there they can have any length or style as long as its not coloured.
It's the look on the teachers faces when I go to parents evening that makes me smile, most fathers are balding and conformist, I on the other hand am most certainly not either!
Cheers Dave
LOL, I know what you mean.
My dad and both brothers went bald. I've been holding my breath!
Paul
I don't know what part of Alabama you're in, but I've noticed that some parts are less backwards than others; some aren't too backwards at all, not at all. To down the whole state is a mistake; Birmingham, Dothan, Mobile, etc. are all rather nice towns. Sounds like the simplest thing might just be to move to another school district. BTW, I'm from Georgia and I've been over to Alabama a good bit.
I'm sorry to hear of your son's troubles at school though. It's really not fair. The reason the principle got so upset and stomped out was because she knew she was in the wrong (ethically) though the "rule" kept her in the right (morally).
Jefferson co. it's where Birmingham is.
This is a county wide rule, it's true that some schools don't enforce it but I find it appalling that they have that rule at all. Most of the towns surrounding it don't have a hair rule.
I have to keep my kids there for convenience right now but my wife is about to graduate collage to be a teacher. She will apply to a school a little more civilized and all our kids can transfer and ride with her.
When we get bills caught up then we'll move.
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Nicely put. That's what I was thinking.
Paul
I agree it's probably a good idea to consider another place to live not just because of the hair that's just the tip of the iceberg I'm sure.
Gotta love those red states! (the few that remain anyway.)
Kevin
I don't think it's a red state issue. We live in a red state and have no rules like that in my school. Our family is as far right as you can get, but we love long hair and tattoos. If you are having that issue at your school i would run and fast cause nobody's cutting my hair lol.
Tolerant conservatives are fine by me. Wish there was more like you.
Paul
Exactly Kevin...
Then raise the scarlet standard high;
Beneath its folds we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here!
Cheers,
John.B
You're probably pulling our legs, but you do know that in the US red and blue have opposite meanings from the UK, don't you?
You just don't know how to work the Southern system.
If he doesn't like long hair, that must mean the principal doesn't like Lynyrd Skynyrd. Make it known that he doesn't like Skynyrd. Somebody else will take care of the problem for you.
n/t
Damn! Didn't think of that!
BTW, the Ass. Principle who is so adamant about it is female. I'm not sure where she's from.
Great pic of Skynyrd, thanks. I think I'll mail a copy to her house!
Thanks,
Paul
To bad they make this sort of rules, everyone should have it's own choise to grow his hair.
Good luck on finding a solution!
I can't speak from experience, but I think it comes down to basic American values and what we want to teach our children. Do we want to teach our children that we must have blind obedience to those in authority, because it is only they, that know exactly how much freedom each of us should have, or do we teach them that we each have the right and responsibility to chart our own path and to respect the rights of others to do the same?
If I were in your shoes, I would get as many others as possible involved in a letter writing campaign. Address these letters to the Board of Education and have them write of basic American values. It's true that these things don't generally survive court challenges, but why let them chip away at his right to have his hair the way he wants and your right to parent him the way you want.
Good luck,
Bruce
Another great idea! I was thinking "Petition" but letter writing would be more personal.
Thanks Bruce
Paul
A similar case in Texas was resolved by voluntary transfer to another school district without moving. This would probably be inconvenient (i.e. no school bus, long drive to school), but it may be your best bet if Alabama allows it.
That reminds me of the dress code at the time when I went to school during Ceausescu's regime (1960s and 1970s): uniform and hair no longer than 5 cm (2"). Even after I started working I was being pestered by the management at my work place and by the authorities as they tried to force me to cut my hair.
You should start a letters writing campaign to the school board. Tell them that they are no better than the communists they surely hate...
If my kids get into a similar situation (they are not yet of school age) my appearance at their school would certainly shift some attitudes...
--
A Linux Longhair
Yeah, that's right, fascist do hate communists.
Since this I have been at every school function I could attend and you better believe, I did NOT were my hair in a pony tail! That's when I started calling my hair style "go to hell hair".
...
I call it "stick it to the man hair";-)
--
A Linux Longhair
Thanks everybody, those were some really GREAT ideas!!!
It was good to vent too.