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How do you all do it? I'm finding as my hair continues to grow out (been a year and this is my second attempt) people keep telling me to get a haircut or that I look like a chick etc. I even get pulled over by police for "random checks" often now. When I had short hair I was never pulled over. People assume all the sterotypes like that I do drugs or that I'm a delinquent. However, I'm just a normal guy who wants to grow his hair. How do you all react to this sort of treatment? I'm 20 btw... hair is at an awkward stage right now. It's thick, black and curly a little past my jaw line and the front curls hang around my eyes. My cousin calls me "blacky locks" to poke fun at me now.
I can understand your feelings, in the 21st century this short of behaviour is totaly ridiculus and where?? in US who supposed to be a free country! Very hilarious! But we can't laugh...
Here where I live the past year now in the Netherlands, who is also supposed to be a country with free spirited people, the 85-90% of the people who are seeing me outside they stare for some seconds at me with those (how can I say) half-closed and stuborn eye look and I don't know what they think inside their minds by seeing this expression. Consider that I also I am a common guy with no other look of a bum guy.
Long hair is the most natural thing in the human's life, if it wasn't natural hair wouldn't grow out long! But those people are so very shaped from this society that they can't see beyond their nose.
In the past people were coincide long hair in men with a negative aspect of revolution because every time revolution were implemented in a wrong way, with violence. They also coincide long hair in men with bum people, but truth is that those people were just trying to get away from this stereotypic -as you correctly mentioned- society, but again they made it in the wrong way.
So in my opinion the long hair's eye look to those people is also very importand in shaping the attitude that he (the long haired) expects from the others. Be normal, be yourself and soon people that will get and meet you better, I am sure they will see much more behind a just hairy guy.
;-)
Grigoris
In time you'll have to grow a thick skin and just let it go and not think about it or let it bother you. After you've heard it a while it just rolls off and as it gets old you just tune it out.
Welcome to the board by the way as we've not seen you post before.
Kevin
Hi Blacky Locks, (haha)
You just have to cowboy up and learn to deal with it. People comment on anything that is outside of a narrow range of "normalcy" whether it be your long hair or your new, yet stylishly different, shirt or glasses or whatnot. Things that don't fit preconceived patterns always garner response, usually negative. However, such comments are really just rude most of the time and belie a lack of good manners on the part of the naysayer. If you like your hair, all the better. Just enjoy it. Though on a different level, remember that all the innovators and thinkers and inventors always have gotten blasted for shaking up the status quo. Though growing one's hair long isn't really comparable to Galileo and Copernicus revealing that the Earth revolves around the sun versus the opposite, the establishment wasn't too happy with them either. It's just a matter of degree; the principle is the same.
Hey, I'd take that as a compliment as then you would know that you are a true longhair:)Of course if you have any facial hair that notion,of looking like a chick, will quickly evaporate.LOL.
I even get pulled over by police for "random checks" often now. When I had short hair I was never pulled over. People assume all the sterotypes like that I do drugs or that I'm a delinquent. However, I'm just a normal guy who wants to grow his hair. How do you all react to this sort of treatment?
Actually I don't ever remember that happening to me but if you believe people think you look like a chick then obviously the cop doesn't see it that way unless he was looking to make a date:)LOL.
I'm 20 btw... hair is at an awkward stage right now. It's thick, black and curly a little past my jaw line and the front curls hang around my eyes. My cousin calls me "blacky locks" to poke fun at me now.
Hey sounds like you have some interesting hair so if you have time why not post a pic as we all would like to see how your hair looks my friend.Anyway welcome to the mlhh and don't be a stranger.
Mark
Yep I'll get around to posting a camera phone pic on one of my better hair days. Sometime soon though.
Seth
When I decided to grow my hair long, I feared that I'd get a lot of crap for it. But I decided to suck it up and do it anyway. I used to get a little nervous around some people, including my family and friends, when I wore it down, thinking that someone would hassle me about it. To my surprise, it never was as bad as I expected. As a matter of fact I would get a compliment once in a while. Coming to this site was extremely helpful in dealing with my fear of how everyone saw me. But I was determined, no matter what, to prove that you can have long hair and not fit the unwarranted stereotype of a druggie or general "ne'r-do-well." There's probably more longhairs that don't meet that stereotype than there are that do.
So, you have to deal with it. The way I did it was to jokingly blow off the remark. If someone asked me when I was going to get a haircut, I'd respond by saying, "When it gets long."
Depending on your personality, it can be easy or it can be hard. Either way, it builds character and makes you stronger. In growing my hair, I have found that I am more confident and in control. It's a great feeling too!
As far as getting pulled over, there's probably no good answer for that. It's very possible it's because of your hair, or it could be an odd conincidence. The only hassle I got from a cop was his questioning my ID picture since I had very short hair on it.
Sorry about rambling, but I say suck it up and enjoy the ride. In the long run, you won't regret it...so hang in there!!!
Take care and keep it growin'!
Brett
Be patient, my friend. I started growing my hair long when I was about 12 (in 1969). That was the "golden age" of long haired men, and I still got a lot of ridicule and criticism from family, school officials, and classmates. It was very degrading, but I stood my ground and refused to cut my hair (at least until I had to look for a job). Fast forward to the present. I am now 51, and my hair is longer than it ever has been. I've been growing it since 2002 and I must say that as an adult, I have occasionally been mistaken for a woman (which doesn't bother me), but have NEVER heard a deliberately insulting remark about my hair. A lot of folks feel that it's perfectly all right to insult "kids" about their looks, but are much less inclined to insult an older person. As time goes by, you will find that these kinds of ignorant slurs will lessen and disappear.
I am 43, almost 44 and I have no problems at all with such problems, even with law enforcement and I drive a truck and I experience random checks on a weekly basis. The key here is your personality and here is what I base that on: Many African American entertainers have indicated that they received much better treatment years ago by developing a really good personality and making people laugh. Well, the same applies here. I can get away with a lot of stuff that many guys could not, because of my personality, which has taken many years to develop. I recently wore my tight jeans with butterflies on the butt, to work! Who could get away with such a thing in a conservative part of the country? Well, I did. My boss said, "Jeff, your on out there, but you have a hell of a personality."
Work hard and develop an exceptional personality and not only will people cut you some slack, but they will actually want you around and that's a promise. They may still rag you a little, but you can actually have some fun with that.
However, if you get stopped by a Trooper in Texas, go easy on the Texas Trooper jokes as their sense of humor isn't the greatest in the world.
jeffrey
I can get away with a lot of stuff that many guys could not, because of my personality, which has taken many years to develop. I recently wore my tight jeans with butterflies on the butt, to work! Who could get away with such a thing in a conservative part of the country? Well, I did. My boss said, "Jeff, your on out there, but you have a hell of a personality."
Hey I give you credit for that one as I would be very reluctant to wear those kind of jeans in public.Me being a big fan of tight jeans I applaud your courage.I'll wear tight jeans out but not with graphics like that.However at home no problem:)
That's a great suggestion but it may be hard for some people to accomplish especially at an older age.You know you kind of get set in your ways.
Mark
Hi, Mark!
I want to give a very deep and thoughtful reply, but I've been drinking beer and eating onion rings. Is onion rings one word, or two? Anyway, I suspect they liked the way my butt looked in those tight jeans and that's why I got away with it. HAHA! I would post a pic, but that would probably be a bit taboo. BTW, I'm gonna have to start sewing that stuff on, because it comes off in the dryer. And ya know what really sucks? Is when you go to bed with someone that's a lot bigger than you and they fall asleep on your hair and you need to get up to pee and you can't get them off your frickin hair! Well, been there/done that!
Well, be good and I'll talk at ya later.
jeffrey.
Hi jeffery,
Hey dude great reply and that story about having to get up at night with your hair pinned to the mat is so funny!LOL.What us longhairs have to put up with boggles the mind but I've never heard that one mentioned here before.
As for the tight jeans why not post a pic as I did a couple weeks ago as a hair/tight jeans combo.I think of all the replies only one person didn't care for them but hey it was only one guy.I find I can only wear tight jeans as those loose fit jeans look horrible.Hey if the chicks can wear tight them why not the guys:)
Take care my friend and thanks for the laugh:)LOL.Cheers
Mark
People will always mock what they don't understand, or they will resent your benevolent form of rebellion against social norms. Regardless of your intentions, people will always form their own opinions and judge. I wouldn't worry about it, I went to high school in West Chester, PA and got tons of ridicule, but only from people I let do that. My group of friends all had long flowing Thor-like locks and my friends who didn't just busted my chops (excuse the pun, I have massive sideburns at the moment)about my long hair. Just be glad you decided to look unlike most people. Keep it growing dude, forget the ignorant people.
When I started growing my hair more than 30 years ago I had to deal not only with slurs but with a tremendous amount of pressure to cut it (from family, workplace, authorities) as well. With time I grew a pretty thick hide and learned to ignore such things. My long hair is part of my identity and gives me a sense of happiness and satisfaction. It conveys also the message that I value my freedom and my individuality.
Think about growing your hair as going on a long hike in the mountains. You might encounter bad weather. Bugs will pester you. Your legs and back might get sore. But the sights and the overall experience is what you will remember from the trip many years from now, not the annoyances. Slurs and pressures are just like bugs and bad weather - they come and go, but they won't ruin your pleasure of being yourself.
--
A Linux Longhair
(n/t)
You will find that a lot of the remarks go away once your hair is past your shoulders, assuming you plan to grow it really long.
90% of the negative remarks I have had have been from my mother. She still doesn't like long hair. I'm 51 and I started to grow it out when I was 15, and she has never changed her mind. OTOH, I have had very few negative remarks from anyone else.
I was once beaten up in the street by a complete stranger, though. I was worried about protecting my wife, otherwise I would have run for it, but she isn't physically able to run away. I think it was hippie bashing, but he attacked first, before he spoke.
I do in fact get quite a few compliments, all from women, and I find that these vastly outnumber the bad remarks, which I never take seriously anyway.
I thought it would be hard to deal with the negative comments when I started growing my hair but there is no problem at all.
Now with my hair long I feel very confident and when friends make jokes I just laugh with them.
Stangers who makes comments are not worth it to waste my time on so I just ignore them.
It seemed to me the longer it got the less crap I had to take. They're trying to keep you "in the flock". Once they realize you're serious they mention it less. If your friends are really friends then they will eventually accept it even if they don't like it.
As for strangers, I never tolerate rudeness myself. If someone stares then I usually ask if they know me, "No", "then what the hell are you looking at?", "didn't your momma teach you any manners?" or "hey, you flirting with me or something?". A subtle middle finger salute also works fine.
Family is another matter. My mother hates my hair and always has. When I'm around her I may put it up in a tail. The "hair nazis" usually like that better. It's best just to ignore them.
Good Luck, Paul