new thread
Forced haircut Saturday. Mom wants the bangs above my eyebrows so they don't part. And she's suggesting layers.
What do I do? She's beyond reason so what do I say at the salon to minimize the damage?
Slip the stylist a $20 to not cut anything except the very ends. Bribery and incentives always work. Otherwise, unless your parents really have no say over you or don't financially support you, there's not a lot you can do.
-James
Threatening to run away from home always worked for me.
I agree with Antinous. Tell her that if she makes you cut your hair, you will run away from home for good. Say it like you really mean it.
Matthew aka Regardless
Bribe who's cutting your hair =D.
Bribing the stylist seems like the way to go. Threatening to run away from home will completely screw you over if your parents call your bluff.
Have you tried combing your hair to the back rather than the front? my parents stopped pushing for a haircut when i started doing that.
lol.. threatening with running away from home only works if youre very young..Im 20, If I treatened to run away, my mom would be killing two birds with a stone...by all means..she would say..lol careful here!
Giving you the right or wrong advise in this situation depends on so many variables, like: your age; how fincancially dependent / independent you are from your parents; what part of the world you live in (and what laws of that country and/or state might help or hinder you); etc., etc...
I had to leave home at age 18 in order to be able to grow my hair out even just to a modest length back then, due to my dad absolutely forbidding long hair in his household. As long as I lived under his roof, I had no choice but to have to abide by his rules, --- so, I left his house in order to have the freedom to do whatever I wanted with my hair. This decision ultimately cost me not being able to finish my college education, as I left home immediately after my freshman year at University, --- definitely NOT something I recommend to most people. Although there were other factors besides just hair that drove me to making that severe of a decision (like, my dad & step-mom divorcing each other during that same year), still the "straw that broke the camel's back" was the fact that my dad was absurbly rigid and uncompromising over not allowing me or my brothers to have any hair length other than military-short.
And now for the good news:
Regardless of whatever your exact age is or state of financial dependency on your parents happens to be, if you study hard in school and get excellent grades, chances are that your parents might lighten up a bit about your hair, --- and, even if they don't, it won't be long before you'll be old enough and be financially on your own to be left alone to make your own decisions about this, anyway. Again, as I said earlier, the most helful answer to your plea for help may not necessarily be my reply here; but, it all depends on many, many factors. I thought James Raymond had an excellent reply, as well as some of the others who commented. In any case...
My best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hi Ken,
First of all Happy New Year to you and those close to you:)Your reply definately nails it rather well.Obviously finishing your education at University would have opened more doors for you but at the time you made a decision based on your current circumstances.You know sometimes you have to be true to yourself and do what makes you happy instead of what the world expects of you.Why go through life miserable just to conform as I see no advantage to that whatsoever.As for myself, life certainly could have been different but I chose a path that I felt comfortable with.And too,things that happened early on steered me as well.
As for Dex its hard to advise not being there and evaluating the situation.Best one could do is suggest something looking from the outside with a different perspective.James Raymond made a suggestion that might work so something to try.So I wish Dex and others in the same situation the best.
Hope everyone got through the New Year OK and that the future holds better times for all:)Cheers my friends!!
Mark
Hey Mark,
It was fun chatting with you over the cell the other day, before the BART train went underground into the tunnel and cut our conversation off so rudely (lol)....
Other than being a bit "under the weather", the New Year came in just fine for me, --- as I hope it did for you, too!!
May 2009 be a year of great growth, --- both for hair, and otherwise (lol) --- and may it go down in history with a better reputation than 2008!
Have a good one!
- Ken
Alright thanks to everyone who replied. One problem I keep running into again and again is that I won't turn 18 until October. Moving out isn't really an option at this point.
"You know sometimes you have to be true to yourself and do what makes you happy instead of what the world expects of you.Why go through life miserable just to conform as I see no advantage to that whatsoever.As for myself, life certainly could have been different but I chose a path that I felt comfortable with."
This is what they will never understand.
The best I can come up with: I'll agree to keep it tidy and "presentable" for auditions, competitions, graduation, my open house and finding a new summer job if they promise to stop the harassment after that.
Hey Dex,
I have an idea but it may get you into trouble, you'd have to be brave. When you arrived at the stylist simply refuse to get out of the car. When she gets angry with you just stay calm and say, "look, I'll do what ever you want but I just don't want a haircut right now." have patience, stick to your guns.
You may also try, "I'll be 18 in Oct. if you make me cut it now, I'll grow it out to my knees after that. If you don't make me cut it now I promise I'll just grow it to my shoulders (or where ever)."
Unless she's willing to put you out what can she really do? Consider how she would punish you and ask your self it you'd risk that to grow your hair.
Good luck,
Paul
Ahhh I want to do something like this SOOO BAD. Likely I'll be driving myself and my sister to the salon. I do enjoy the car. It's not mine, I just buy the gas, and they've flexed their muscles before to make damn sure I know they're not afraid to take it away.
I've already told her I'm not going to put up with the harassment once I find a summer job and she runs out of excuses.
Take it from someone who made the wrong choice: It's worth giving up the car to keep your pride. There's always the bus (or is there? I don't know if you live in a city big enough to have a bus system) or a bike. (And this is from someone who loves bangs and feathering and layers.)
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