new thread
Hey guys, I've been a reader and an occasional poster on this board off and on for a number of years now. I've made two or three attempts to grow my hair out, all with the same results...failure. To have long hair has been a life-long desire for me...ever since I was about 7 (I'm 20 now). I tried once when I was in high school, but only made it through the first three months or so. The farthest I've ever made it was last July I attended a wedding and got a hair cut and didn't get it cut again until around december. I thought I was going to make it that time, but once again, to no avail. My biggest problem is that I have very high standards about my appearance, and I know whats coming during the awkward stage. So I guess I'm coming to the board yet again asking for support and advice about how a metrosexual man who takes pride in his appearance can weather through the dreaded awkward phase. P.S. I don't wear hats, so thats out of the question. Thanks Guys! God bless!
Stop worrying about appearance and let it grow and keep away from scissors!
Hi CDunlap
I have an idea that might sound weird or even stupid... wear a wig until it gets past that point.
It sounds like you tried everything else. Just keep reminding yourself that you'd look even cooler with long hair.
Paul
There is no easy answer to this and indeed this will sound harsh.
You have self-proclaimed "very high standards" so clearly you think long hair is beneath you in your heart of hearts. You know about the awkward stage and the rewards of long hair so you need to balance what is more important in your life: Long hair or some perceived damage to your "very high standards" along the road.
Unless you do this it is pointless bothering further because you will never resolve this. No one here can convince you - you might post photographs so that we can say whether or not you are being too demanding of yourself but i fear you will not make it.
It took me quite a few tries to actually make it as far as I am right now. I always worried about the awkward stage, but so far it hasn't seemed as daunting as it is made out to be. Sounds like you just need a bit of encouragement! It seems like you should be able to have a great relationship with your stylist, and there are enough hip styles to suit any length of hair. As a metrosexual, you should embrace a constantly evolving hairstyle while achieving your long hair dreams. I know I've had a few days when I've despaired of my hair and styling capabilities, but I just had to remind myself of my priorities, and I'm pretty satisfied right now. And don't knock hats! I bought a red beret and I basically haven't taken it off since Christmas.
Hello!
I'm just starting growing my hair out (I've been wanting to do it for the past few years, but a job held me back, it was either long hair or the job!)
I take great pride in how I look. That's part of the reason I believe my mom will take a while getting used to my new look. If you want it bad enough, you have to jump in and give it your all. I know I'm heading for the awkward stage, but I can hardly wait for it!! Why? Because the faster it starts, the faster it'll end and I'll reach my goal! It's the same for you, don't stress about it! I'm thrilled at the idea of having long hair and that's what's going to get me thru it.
I do like Paul's idea of a wig. Maybe even just seeing yourself with long hair via a wig will provide the support better then people you don't even know online (Not that we're not a good resource!!)
Just my two cents :)
Shane
Growing hair out past the awkward stage is a test of character the same as it is to climb a very steep mountain. You either stick it out until you reach the top or stay in the comfort zone.
A good stylist who supports someone growing out hair could be consulted for keeping the hair looking reasonably good in the awkward stage (depending on what hair type you happen to have)
So you have to decide which is more important - your desire for longer hair or what others my think. The good news is that the awkward hair growing stage is not forever and does end.
An old adage: A Rut Well Travelled Grows Comfortable!
Take heart, dear Mr. "High Standards", there are a zillion and one ways to let go of these false so-called standards: just let go of your self-imposed limited image of what looks so damn "good" about your current short hair, --- and you might even find yourself living a better life that's more full of joy, spontaneity, and a hell of a lot of FUN!! And who cares how many times you fail: just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again growing your hair back... I mean, REALLY NOW.... Dude, you are only 20 years old!! If it makes you feel any better, I didn't succeed in having my first full ponytail until my 40th birthday, --- which is DOUBLE your current age!!!! You say you've made 2 or 3 attempts to grow your hair out. I knew I first wanted long hair when I was 3 years old, when my dad forced me to sit in my local home-town barber's chair, crying and screaming the whole time! Heck, I lost count of how many times I tried to grow my hair out when I was in my 20s and 30s, --- and just as young and vain as you are now (LOL)!!
Do yourself a favor: DON'T WAIT until you're an old geezer to grow your hair out, like I am now (I'm currently 55, --- and now could give 2 shits how other people think about me when they see my long hair)... The sooner you grow out that hair, the happier you'll be! And it doesn't even matter whether or not you go into a salon for trims and/or re-sylings along the way: that part is up to you, depending on how long your ultimate goal is, and how quickly you wish to get there. Even the infamous "awkward stage" can be a little slice of Heaven, if you just learn how to cultivate the right outlook and attitude about it all, that is! It's all up to you, though: you can wait until your 90th birthday, if that's what you end up doing; or, conversely, you can celebrate your 21st birthday with your hair touching the top of your shoulders!!! Just realize that of you wait too long in life, that you'll risk the possibility of age-related hair thinning, greying, or even Male Pattern Balness (or at least some degree of a receding hairline, like I have)...
Believe me, if I had a chance to live life all over again, the first thing I'd do is dump the old broken record I used to listen to that kept me from growing my own mane out back when I was young, and then not hesitate for even a micro-mini second to start growing my hair out as IMMEDIATELY as possible... To still have so much youth on your side right now means that you have the chance of a lifetime to be even justifiably vainer and better-looking than you already currently are (lol), --- BECAUSE you'll have TOTALLY AWESOME hair with each additional inch of it getting longer and looonger and looooooonger...
Just DO it: it doesn't matter "HOW" you grow it, --- or even how many times you "fail" in trying to get there --- just... grow it... again!!
- Ken in San Francisco
I had some similar concerns, not because of high standards, whatever that means, but because I work in a professional management position and and I sometimes represent the whole organization. So at least having a neat appearance was important.
Gels or pomade can help control your hair, especially early on. A pair of sunglasses flipped back to the top of your head can control hair much like a headband (without the feminine appearance.)
Although I know this goes against MLHH dogma, judicious trims can help when you can't do anything else. I would only do this with a stylist that you know, and you need to communicate that you want to grow your hair. I had two trims in the first six months of growing, and they probably allowed me to keep on keeping on. Make no mistake, however, trims will set you back time-wise. I'm probably 4 months behind where I would otherwise be because of the trims.
You might get some more specific tips if you describe what your hair is like (i.e. straight or curly, fine or coarse, thin or thick).
Good luck,
Chris
What the awkward phase is like depends a great deal on the kind of hair you have. If you want some specific advice, it would help if you could post a picture or describe the kind of hair you have, and what was bothering you about it as it got longer.
If you have hair which can have a bad awkward stage, you can minimize it by finding a hair stylist who is good with long hair on men. The stylist can trim your hair so it continues to look good as it gradually get longer. But there is a price to pay (besides paying the stylist). Those trims mean it will take much longer to reach whatever length you are going for.
Hi there CDunlap,
It has been said that we are our own worst critics.
I've lost count of how many times somebody has pointed out everything "wrong" with themselves - things that would never have caught my attention had they not said anything.
Rise up out of that "metrosexual" cookie cutter and let the image of that gorgeous long flowing mane on your head be your new "high standards" of appearance :-)
Just give the it time and patience - there are no "short cuts" to long hair :-)
Happy growing!
- Oren
I'm going to go in the other direction on this one and say if your high standards are the thing keeping you from making it through the awkward stage then perhaps longhair is unattainable for you.
Your going to get a lot of "get over it" suggestions as in get used to looking like crap for a while, or learn to wear something on your head. There are many suggestions that could be made but the thought is well maybe they are below your standards as well.
You've tried it several times and to no avail so maybe it will be little more than a dream for you. Sorry if my comments disappoint but think about it your concern for your high standards of appearance trumps having longhair. That's just the way it is unless you can "get over it"
Kevin
Use a lot of gel or hair spray. And as for the hat, a nice fedora looks good on a metrosexual man.
hi cdunlap. be encouraged you've gotten some good advice. it sounds like you just need to find a long-hair-friendly stylist to get you through the awkward stage -- to work with you as your hair grows out ... and the awkward stage is only awkward if you believe it to be -- it's really a mindset. yes, it's awkward in the sense that it's too long to be short, and too short to be long, but even with that, there's no reason that your hair can't look good. hhg