new thread
I have some difficulty expressing sad feelings due to my autism, but I get shocked easily, and this morning, I have received tragic news about my family.
By the way, this is the second child that my aunt lost (she had three children overall, the youngest was born in 2000). Her first child that died was back in 1998 at the age of 2 (b. 1996), when she was born without an immune system and was unable to fight off any diseases.
Matthew aka Regardless
What a terrible crime, my heart goes out to you and your family.
Bruce
really sorry to hear that Matt my prayers are with you buddy keep in touch
Matthew I cannot even imagine the terrible loss for you and your family because of this terrible tragedy.
My condolences to you all.
Chris
Matthew,
I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. You're one of the sweetest, most supportive commenters here. I trust that someone as kind as you will be surrounded by people who can help you process your feelings about something so tragic.
So sorry to hear that, Matthew. What a bummer for you all. You have my deepest condolences.
I looked at that news article. It turned out to be on a site I post on from time to time. The site lets users be anonymous and most post that way, and it is revolting how under the cloak of anonymity their users say the nastiest things about young people and crime victims, but if you say anything truthful that conflicts with their news story, they yank it off pronto. There are an unusual number of posts that have been removed in the comments section, so they are screening out lots of stuff, likely to be truthful information from people who actually know something. I merely posted a link to your post for those who would like to know what the reporter and all the swarm of badmouthers of your cousin don't know, and the site pulled it almost immediately. I wonder how many others know the facts and have been screened, too. Yet, all the nasty hypotheticals that are too outlandish to threaten the feigned "truth" in the article, posted by those not in the know remain. Well, trash-talking attracts people on the web. Then they'll turn around and publish in the newspaper the same stock verbiage about what a wonderful boy he was, that they post about every crime victim. Heaven forbid they'd appear to have a trashy newspaper. Well, we need to know the truth. Hiding the truth hides the problem.
The sad reality is that such a large number of our youth get caught up in that scene that we can't blame the youth anymore. It's like, if lots of kids fail a test, maybe, just maybe, there is something wrong not with the kids but with the test? Society is failing kids in some way, by creating expectations that far too many youth can't meet. This is a bigger problem for us than that on the streets of cities in Iraq and Afghanistan, because we are losing many more of our youth on our own streets than we are there. Let's hope Obama directs some resources to this problem because it has been neglected for way too long. Our youth and our working class are the foundation upon which our society is built, and if those two groups fail us, all the pretty stuff up top will come crashing down on us someday in a pile of rubble.
It is so sad your cousin got caught up in this disaster. So sorry.
Bill
Jesus Matthew, that's awful. I'm sorry to hear it and you have my condolences.
The way this happened is exactly why I'm a nosy parent. I like to think I would have caught any of my kids sneaking out. I have an edge though, I was pretty wild when I was young. I think I know most of the tricks.
I'd like to add that you are one of my favorite people here, I had no clue that you had a problem with autism. You seems fairly articulate to me. Your post are always interesting.
Again, I am sorry for your family's loss.
Paul
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
What a terrible thing to have happen to your family. I'm so sorry Regardless, though that's nothing that can help.
-------------------------------------------
OMG, this is terrible. I am floored after reading this and just don't know what to say. It is so sad that he got caught up in the drug scene. Using drugs is dangerous enough, dealing them even more so. Nothing good ever comes out of it. The pain of losing a cousin or close friend is hard to deal with. I am so sorry.
Scott
Although I'm not officially "on the spectrum", I test that way in some areas. So, I know how that is when it comes to expressing feelings.
I am in the Bay area, as you may know, and I just saw the report on the news. It was surreal watching that and not hearing what you told us.
Matthew,
You and your family have my most sincere condolences. I am tremendously sorry that anyone should have to endure a tragedy such as this.
Be well, friend.
--Val
Matthew, I am indeed saddened for you too. Text never does emotions justice. I will surely be praying for you and your family during this troubling time. I hope justice is served in this case, and the punishment is severe.
Hey Matthew,
First off I'm saddened to read what you posted as that is absolutely terrible news.I read that article you posted the link to and its weird that they never mentioned why your cousin was shot.I mean they quote the police but nothing mentioned of the motive other than he knew the shooter.Hopefully this thug is caught but I fear in the end justice won't be properly served.Some defense lawyer will likely go for a plea deal but hopefully I will be wrong.Anyway I admire your courage to post this news and I'm sure you will be strong.Its a shame your cousin got involved in the drug trade as that is just asking for trouble.Take care of yourself my friend.
Mark
I am very sorry to hear of this Matthew.
I can only hope that those responsible for this malicious act brought to justice.
- Oren
Hey Matthew...my thoughts are with you at this time...so sorry about your news.
Thinking about you.
Max
Geez, after 3 days of being violently ill, after a 5 hour stay in the ER on Sunday, I'm just playing catch-up on the intrawebs (Bad case of Viral Gastroenteritis). Having an Autism Spectrum Disorder (Aspergers), I get the difficulty in expressing feelings. The idiot professionals claim we are 'lacking in empathy', when nothing could be further from the truth. I hear the new Diagnostics & Statiticians Manual is removing this fallacy. Our brains are wired differently, and we process emotions differently from Neuro-Typicals.
This is such a sad, sad tragedy. I lost a cousin to drugs. My cousin was an adult, and my Aunt and Uncle never even told the family. My sister found out in a roundabout way. He was in his 30's, had been doing and dealing drugs since his teens; the family tried to keep it secret. Turns out a drug deal went bad, and he was shot down on the streets of Philadelphia. Sounds like something similar happened with your cousin, drug deal gone bad. This happened around 5 years ago, still no leads, no clues, no nothing. I doubt the case will ever be solved. I hope your cousin fares better, but the underground drug world is very hard to penetrate. It's just so senseless the number of lives ruined due to drug use. From the story you linked to, it sounds like your cousin had a future planned. I feel bad for the parents, it's going to be really rough for them, coping with this loss.
It's going to take you time to process this, with your autism. Hopefully those around you understand that you are grieving in the only way you know how. I basically shut down and go numb when I get stressful news, seems to be a common reaction among autists. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this loss. Be sure to take care of yourself.
Matthew... I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin. My deepest sympathy to you and your family...
--Rick
Dear Matthew,
I'm trully sorry to hear about what happened to your cousin.
The drug scene has more then it's share of some very nasty people in it unfortunately...however the universal law of Karma will catch up with whoever did this terrible crime in time....
My condolences to you and your family and I hope you find the support therein to cope with this sad tragedy.
Duncan
I'm really sorry for you and your family, Matthew. I hope this murder won't stay unresolved.
My deep condolences.
Vivien
You have my deepest sympathy and I do give our condolences to your aunt when you see her at the funeral.
Kevin
I'm sorry to hear this, I wish everybody the best in the coming time. And I hope the murder will be solved.
Matthew, My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.
A bewildering tragedy!
peace, jonalbear
My prayers and sympathies go out to you and your family...
My sincere condolences and sympathy to you and your family Matthew in getting through this tragic event.
Justin~
Angels of light and healing have been sent to comfort and care for you and your family during this terrible tragedy. Feel their presence, know that they are with you, and call upon them for help as you need it.
Stormy
Dear Matthew:
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so senseless when someone dies so young. I wish you the best.
Del
Hi Matthew,
I am genuinely sorry to hear this dreadful news, and my deepest condolences to you and all of your family.
Take care,
David
I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing alright.
Matthew,
So sorry to hear about your loss. Hang in there and keep the faith...and remain strong for your family. It's really tough when tragedy hits so close to home. Take care and be strong!
God bless
Brett
I'm very sorry to hear this. It's a tragedy to lose a child, much less have two of them die. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Chris
First of all, I am really really really sorry about your cousin, someone passing away is never good, and I know how it feels myself. I just wanted to say one thing: if there is one small thing we could learn from this, it is not to deal with (or do) drugs, as they can end up completely ruining other people's lives, with everything from health to social problems. Don't ever do drugs, and this goes out to everyone else too, as I had a friend that did drugs, and her health, and even looks, were really affected.
I also thank you for your honesty and for letting us know; if you ever need us, we're here for you, and I believe I speak for most, if not all, of us.
Really sorry to hear this Matthew, my thoughts are with you and your family.
There can be no positive sides to recreational drugs, somebody always gets hurt.
Take care,
~ Dave
Sorry to hear about this tragic news, Matthew.
My thoughts are with your family. It's terrible how drugs can ruin so many lives
Stay strong.
Mathew,
This is awful news. Loosing a family member can be hard. Take care buddy. :-)
Mike