new thread
Hi. My mom told me this morning that she does not want me to meet any person in real that I meet on the internet for safety. I understand for many things, but she does not need to remind me again. Since she said it out of the blue, and since I met people online on MLHH, it had put me in a very bad mood this morning.
Once I get a self-supporting job, move out and get my own place, then maybe I can meet some of you guys.
Matthew
Did she also tell you not to respond to their emails?
No Stormy. She only does not want me to meet up with a person in real life that I only met online.
Matthew
I'd have to agree. Of course, I inherited my cynicism from my father, so that explains a lot of not trusting people I meet on the 'net haha.
uh, arent you like in your 20s? I know you live with her and all but you're an adult, you can do whatever you want since technically you're responsible for yourself
O_O Holy crud, I thought he was younger than me. XD;
In that case, though I agree with her, maaaaybe you should talk to her about it. But still be careful; trusting the net entirely is like trusting an agitated viper not to bite you in the arse.
Your mother is probably extra protective because of your autism. You could reassure her that if you meet anyone for the first time, that you'll do it in a public place during the day, which is a good idea anyway. You could also bring another friend along.
Or, because, you know, the internet is full of pedophiles and creeps who would love to take advantage of some teenager they meet online, and honestly, I don't doubt that there are members here who would.
All said and done, I think it's probably for the best that your mother does so. Group meets are nice, but I wouldn't meet anyone one-onone without being in a public area or with a friend of mine.
That is an extraordinary statement. Care to name names?
I agree Stormy as that's a far reaching statement to make about this board.Anythings possible but without facts I would not have made it.
Indeed I can see it now.
"And the top ten MLHH perverts for 2008 are......(drum roll)....."
LOL
Kevin
At #10, DIO!!!! I wont lie Im a huge pervert lmao
This is very unlikely among our regular members who have their photos and e-mails on record with us. This board is well moderated and one of our functions is to protect our young users. Strangers who lurk in the shadows would be the most likely ones to cause problems, but not our regular members.
Scott
Most of the users on MLHH are old enough (i.e., big enough) to fend for themselves so long as they take the same precautions a prudent adult would take, which is to meet up with a new acquaintance in a public place with people around, such as at a Starbucks. People talk to other people, even total strangers, who happen to be at Starbuck's all the time, and nothing comes of it.
One way to feel more comfortable meeting others on MLHH is to come when several users are all meeting together. Another matter to observe is whether a user who plans to meet you is well known by other users, and if other users have actually met him in person, that is even better.
Truthfully, most MLHH moderator concern during the several years I was on the crew had to do not with the "illegal" factor but rather the "yuck" factor. As a support forum, no one wants to feel like they are prey on here, and the moderators strive to prevent that. It is not illegal for a 45-55 year old to come on to an 18-25 year old, but it sure is yucky.
Bill
I think this is post much more offensive than the one of mine against that "Chris" guy whom I called a Hair Nazi. You know, the one that James quit over?
Paul
Paul, I agree that the statement was uncalled for as it floored me when I first read it.I replied with my displeasure of such an accusation without any facts and Scott basically spelled it out well in his reply.I don't want this to turn into another slug fest but I hear where you are coming from.I did support you on the "Hair Nazi" post as well as many others here so it was only James who got offended as far as I know.
Mark
It's cool. I get the message.
Paul
Someone else quitting!
you KNOW damn well people under 18 are in the minority here and you just opened up a can of worms here lol!
What's more telling is the fact that Glasseyes hasn't come back with any comments. Drop a bomb on the board sit back and while everybody replies.
Dude I suggest you try and do some damage control or you'll not be very well received by the users in the future.
Kevin
Matthew;
Sadly there are a lot of sick people in this world and the Internet has provided easy access for them to prey on naive folks. As you know, Justin and I recently met, but please remember that we have known each other for some 6 years through correspondence on the MLHH board and behind the scenes as officers of the forum; not to mention that we are both somewhat experienced in the world. I participate in several online forums and there are very few people that I would give my phone number or address to or arrange to meet.
Stick to making friends face to face at school, work, church or through family and friends.
Give your Mom a hug for caring.....
Walter
duh...
I say part of the reason has to do with the death of my cousin (and how he died).
I had already made my decision that I will never ever meet a woman I meet online (or any person from a random website). For MLHH users (only), on the other hand, with advanced arrangements, I would like to meet one of you long haired fellas.
Matthew
Hi Matthew,
Yea I hear you about meeting people in person that you've met online so certainly you have to very careful if you choose to do so.I think in the situation with your cousin it was a whole different issue but I understand your feelings just the same.I've been fortunate to have met several mlhhers and have been satisfied with each:)Have a great trip this week my friend.
Mark
I met my wife online, and we've been married over 7 years. Not all women online are bad.
(Man, things are moving fast! It seems just yesterday that "online" was something brand new, and now it's years old.)
Hi Pat.
I agree that not all women are bad online, but I rather not take any more chances after what I went through looking for a girlfriend on the internet.
I am going to say some details. Whenever a woman wants to meet me online, she gives me a link, that leads to a dating site. I then have to sign up for a dating site (in that case, Friend Jungle), and if I want to interact with her, then I have to upgrade the membership, and it can be incredibly expensive (like 200 bucks a year, and even that dating site may be a fake). I also tried free dating sites like Plenty Of Fish, and no one ever, ever showed any interest in me so I gave up. In the fall, bots pretending to be women wanted to pose nude on camera. I have received dozens of comments on my photos, each containing an e-mail address. When I then start an online conversation, it turns to a topic of posing nude on camera. At first, I have signed up for a program (called Slick Cams) to interact with the woman that "wanted" to talk to me, and after that, I received massive porn spam in my old e-mail (I closed it, and it took me some doing).
After trying out three dating sites (Friend Jungle, Plenty Of Fish, and OKCupid), being tricked into signing up for webcam network by a bot pretending to be a woman (Slick Cams, and MyWebCamNetwork, I quickly canceled the latter), getting loaded with spam e-mail leading to porn sites, and getting dozens of messages/comments that contain e-mail address belonging to bots pretending to be women, I have made a permanent decision: I will never again look for a girlfriend on the internet.
That is a lot of information, but I hope you understand. On the bright site, I do have a crush that play Special Olympics sports like me, although she is relatively young.
Matthew
You wrote:
"Whenever a woman wants to meet me online, she gives me a link, that leads to a dating site."
You mention "bots" after this; the initial messages you're getting are probably also bots of a sort (more likely mass mailings; I don't know the underlying MO or technology). I've even gotten the same photos more than once attached to a different name. You see more than a few of these and you can tell which ones look fishy (namely practically all of them). If it looks like you're being led to a Web site, just stop right there. Hope this helps!
My Myspace page
Yeah, if you are repetitively answering spam, I must say I agree with your mother. It is not unusual for a guy to fall for something like that once, or maybe twice, but any more than that, you should have your mother or some other friend checking your work. This is not a comment made due to your age, because it would apply to anyone no matter how old who has that problem.
My two cents,
Bill
If you're going to use a dating site, it's best to use one of the major ones, like Match.com. I never even heard of any you mentioned.
Your mother loves you so she protects you, that can be bad sometimes for you but most of the time parents have good reasons why they do things. Just talk with her about it, why she thinks so that can make a lot clear.
I do meet people who I know from online but only if I know them for a while. Meeting with the regulars from this forum should be no problem at all imho.
Is the bear Catholic?
in John's case maybe its Anglican!
Dude, me and my wife have talked about moving to Washington. If we do, you could probably meet my whole family.
I do agree that you should be careful meeting anyone from online, we all hear the stories. As Absolum pointed out, the regulars here can be tracked so I think they would certainly be more trustworthy.
As far as being on your own, there ain't nothing like it. Just remember it's not easy to move back in if you get in a bind. I think the reason is that you get used to being your own man and having control over your life, it's hard to give that up.
I have a short list of people I'd like to meet from here too. Just wanted you to know that you are on it man. I can always use another cool friend irl.
Paul
Yes Paul. When you do move here, I would like to meet you and your family as well.
Matthew
It's true that there have even been some people murdered when they met people who they only knew online. OTOH, meeting a group of people in public is not a big risk IMHO. I have even brought my kids with me to that kind of thing.
My wife and I have been to parties that were organised by people who she knew online. Think about it, though, how often do you know a majority of the guests at any party you go to? Isn't it more frequent that you only know one or two?
The only risk with a multi-person meeting or a party is that it isn't a real event, so when you get there you find there is really only that person there. That happened to me once! It wasn't someone I knew online, though. This was long before I was married, back when I worked in engineering, and it was the girl that served my dinner at the factory canteen. She invited me to a party and when I got there it was only her! If only she had been better looking or more intelligent, but alas...
As the parent of two teenagers myself - one of whom is extremely social online, I can see where your mom is coming from. As a parent, you only have a few years to protect your children before they are on their own and to try to teach them to be able to protect themselves. It's not an easy balance between freedom and protection - on either the parent or child side.
We have laid down fairly strict rules about the personal information that can be shared but even with that we have had some concerning episodes. The worst (to us) was when our daughter called out for us to not answer the phone as it was a classmate calling. After an hour or so - we picked up an extension to tell them to get off the phone so that others could use it and there was a strange man on the line - who immediately hung up. Suffice it to say that there were repercussions about lieing and not following the safetly rules.
As others have said, if you do meet someone in person that you have met online, do it in a group that includes people you know and trust.
AndrewB