new thread
Thinking back over various posts in the recent past, it seems to me that there's an age-based divide in the types of comments received on long hair. It seems like the guys posting about negative comments are mostly our younger members (teens into the late 20s). I know that the comments I receive are either neutral (i.e. 'how long did it take to grow' or 'that's some long hair') or positive, but then I'm in my mid-40s.
If this perception is correct, then it appears that the general public is either more accepting of long hair on older men, or that they're simply less judgmental, or at least less willing to express their opinions to an older guy.
So, to satisfy my curiosity, I'd like to ask members to respond with your general age bracket (teens, 20s, 30s, etc) and whether the comments you receive are more positive or negative.
I'm a teen, and all of my comments are negative.
I'm 13, and people at my age are are definitely a lot less accepting of long hair. Everybody is always asking why I'm growing my hair, calling me gay/girly, or just telling me, "Cut your hair"!
I think the general idea is that people think they can push younger guys around or say anything they want to them and get away with it. Maybe age brings respect, or fear at least.
I'm in the thirty bracket, 34 years of age. I've found that any negativity has dropped off the older I've gotten. Heck, people hold doors open for me and call me sir. Maybe having a beard with lots of white in it helps too.
MB
50s.
Comments probably are less to my face. However those that know me also know the less than generous resposne they will get and others would not do it twice....
I'm old enough to remember when we were really ostrisized for being long hairs. Hippies Go Home! I remember going to Watkins Glen Summer Jam in 1973. We had to park miles from the venue and people in the town were really hateful to us. Not being from the south or something I had never really experienced it to that degree. Now a days I belive there is still some of that but nothing like back in those days.
I say BRING BACK THE DAYS OF REVOLUTION :)All these posers out there who used to be believers but have sold out to "THE MAN" disgraceful
JSFrodo, There seems to be a general indifference about my hair for the most part but when I do receive comments(apart from this board) they are mostly positive and from older people.
I am 56 years old.
peace, jonalbear
Im in my teens, 19.. And have been a longhair for about 3 and a half years.. started growing when i was 15 i think, i have a very bad memory..
I have recieved all kinds of comments which range from utter hate to absolute admiration..
I think its more to do with where you are and who you mix with.. When your in ur mid 40s you tend to associate more with reasonable, responsible people who are more likely to accept you no matter how you look..
When i was in secondary school people hated my long hair and i assume this is because I stood out and scared other kids cos i posed a threat to them.. I had chewing gum thrown in my hair a couple of times..
But now because im in university I dont get any negative comments, its much more acceptable for a university student to have long hair.
The closest thing to a negative comment I get is that i should cut it all off for charity...
Most people ask me why Ive grown it, how long ive grown it, what products i use on it, things like that..
I think people are much more likely to give u a negative comment if you look like an easy target, a man in hid mid 40s with a beard and very long hair is an intimidating sight.. but a 16 yr old with a fluffy face and shoulder length hair is a much easier target.
(im sorry for my long winded posts, im making a habit of this :P Thanks for reading)
Firstly i think this is a great idea for a post, but how about adding location in as well? I am 23 and from the UK, my hair when wet is just below my shoulders and i used to be of the opinion that negative comments were aimed more at younger people due to the fact that society pressures us to conform and this pressure is reduced the older we get. I feel i am now out of the awkward phase and i think my hair now suits me. Over the past couple of months i have been receiving more positive remarks than negative ones. I think this is mainly down to the fact that i am more comfortable with my hair and most people can sense this. Its sort of a 'I wear my hair it doesn't wear me' kind of thing.
All the Best
Mat
Mini-reply:
When I was in my teens comments were positive. Now at age 60 comments are still positive.
I CANNOT believe you are 60 Justin, bless my soul, you look early forties.
Bravo sir, BRAVO!
Take care old guy ;-)
~ Dave
43, virtually all positive.
Also, I live in San Francisco, so that will skew the comments as well.
Interesting survey, JSFrodo... thanks for bringing this to light.
When I had long hair around the age of 19, I received positive comments from friends around the same age, and mostly negative comments from adults (except my mother, who really liked the long hair).
I'm now almost 33-years-old, and the only negative comments I ever receive are from my father (an old Marine). Even those are becoming increasingly rare, and I've long-since learned to ignore them. I must say, I feel very fortunate to be married to a woman who assures me that whatever I choose to do with my hair is okay with her, and actually--personally--prefers that I grow it long.
--Val
I agree with you that the younger long haired men generally get harrassed more. Generally ,like others have said, the older generations feel they can attack or ridicule the younger.
Now that (Im at 39 years of age) the only comments I recieve are
" Growin yer hair out again "
Any rude comments are usually met with rapid fire attack replies like is found on Pauls List
The worst comments I got usually came from my immediate family
All of which always said you look soooo much better with short hair
I guess thats why I like it long
I'm 40. No one comments on my hair. It doesn't seem to be an issue in Puerto Rico as far as I can tell.
David L.
Interesting topic. I'm 63 and live in Silicon Valley. I have only had one comment from a stranger who mistook me for a woman from the back when I was seated in a restaurant. He was embarrassed that's all.
Friends have had mixed comments when it started getting long. Some said they didn't like it others were encouraging. One woman offered to cut it for me! Now after 20.5 months I only get positive comments. I think my bristly response to the negative people stopped those comments.
I have had short to shaved hair all my life, so I have no tales to tell from my youth. As an older man I suspect people feel that I am a fossil left over from the 60's. I wanted long hair then, but never had the patience to get through the awkward stage. I believe older men get less negative comments than young me.
Peace,
Don
well I have gotten mostly good comments but some have been negative since I live in Mississippi where long hair is not common , like one time I was called a freak and why do you have long hair it's for girls haha but dont care what people think of me I am who I am :)
n/a
I'm 51 and I rarely hear any kind of comment about my hair. Perhaps once or twice a year, a woman will compliment me on it. I haven't heard a negative comment about my hair (to my face) since I was about 20. Usually my hair (and I) go unnoticed. However, I do live in Southern Calif. where long haired men are not that unusual a sight. There have been times when I've driven across the country to visit relatives back east and gone through some less hospitable-to-longhair places. Although no one in these places (Oklahoma, Arkansas, Texas, and Wyoming to be specific) has directly insulted me to my face, I have been overcharged for hotel rooms, auto parts, meals, etc. and I believe it was hair-related prejudice (and maybe my California license plates).
Hi JSFrodo,
I am in my mid 50's, and don't get that many comments about my hair in RL, and they are a mix of both postive and negative.
Hope this helps,
David
I'm 40 and I think it's a fairly even split. The worst comments come from "pickup truck shouters". These are young men who I think might have mistaken me for a chick as they drove up from behind. When they realize that's not the case, testosterone+homophobia=rudeness.
Women are more willing to compliment. The types of women who compliment are all over the map; but you do seem to have more older women compliment. Men will compliment sometimes if they have long hair themselves, or some other alternative look such as tatoos and/or piercings. Sometimes a shorthair will mention that he's a former longhair, then compliment.
I think young people have more trouble because society perceives them as being targets for moulding into a role. By the time you reach a certain age, perhaps middle age, society gives up. 40, and still worried about "peer pressure"? See? It just doesn't make sense, although "keeping up with the joneses" is the adult version of peer pressure, adult identity is still a lot stronger than teen/young adult identity.
Interesting survey. I'm 25 from NJ and have never really recieved any negative comments about my hair (at least none that were audible lol). If anything I think women find it more attractive...I've recieved many complements from women of all ages. I've never had any guys say anything bad to me about it.
I'm curious to see what others say.
-Phil
I'm 22 and I get almost all good comments. The worst I tend to get is "You'd look so much better with short hair" or that I looked better when I had short hair 4 years ago. It could have more to do with size than age. I don't think someone is going to mock your hair if you're a lot bigger than they are.
Worst comes from my mom and it's the same "I think you'd look nice if you got it a bit shorter." And I think the size factor comes into play too as I'm 6'/195lbs.
I agree with you guys. I also think that some guys are just uncomfortable with themselves. If you are comfortable with who you are most likely people will not approach you in a negative way.
I'm 33.
I'd have to say that the comments I get are neutral, with maybe a slant towards negative.
But I feel it is this way because I'm oddly always surrounded by a "conservative/traditional" crowd.
Plus, to be honest, I really don't get out much :( But I do keep getting compliments from girls on myspace about it :/
I also feel that, if my hair was shoulder length, as opposed to waist length, I'd experience less negativity. I guess it comes down to the fact that, IMO, people aren't too comfortable with extremely long hair on guys.
That said, it seems that people that are into ren faires and heavy metal, tend to be more into guys with really long hair and that is where you can expect positivity.
I'm 62. Most of the comments I get are either positive or in jest.
Most of the positive comments are from women.
I am 65. The comments that I receive are more positive than negative.
Hey, you have great looking hair for 65 and its not even graying!That's really cool.Also couldn't help but notice your Charlie Brown Christmas tree!LOL.Just joking of course as I think the wine is kicking in:)
Mark
I'm 38, and I generally have had positive comments from both male and female friends. The only negative comment I got were from family - my mother prefers me with short hair. Long hair in Australia on men is very common and for most people here isn't that big a deal.
Duncan
Hi JS,
I usually get the "neutral" to "positive" comments.
I get a lot of nice compliments on my beard and hair.
I live in Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas. I will be 45 as of tomorrow Feb 19th :-)
It seems like the younger folks are perceived as having a "soft" identity that is still forming and is open to (usually well intentioned) "advise" and directions, or is an easy target to "control", boss around and impress.
The self confidence one gains with age sends a strong non-verbal message to others that "This person's identity is established - please respect them".
- Oren
Oren,
As I stated below Garth's reply, self-confidence sends a message to others...
Look forard to seeing another one of your updates sonn.
I'll be turning 42 this weekend. I get very few comments from strangers or acquaintances, but they are generally neutral (i.e. "Wow, your hair has really grown.").
Comments from friends have been more mixed. Definitely some good comments, but also some saying they liked the way I looked with short hair.
Nobody has made any really offensive comments (that I've heard).
Chris
Great topic !!
Ever since I have been involved with the MLHH, I also have noticed a distinct negative age-based prejudice toward our younger members. (Which has always bothered me). Not only do I get positive comments, but I have more people strike up unsolicited friendly conversations (restaurants, standing in line, etc.) I have usually attributed this to the casual nature of the SouthWest, but in the past couple of years, I have traveled extensively frequenting everything from "Biker Bars" to posh hotels, without so much as a second look. The only time there has been an issue at work (facial hair) has been for legitimate safety (respirator fit) reasons.
Cheer up young-in's, you will be old before you know it ! HA!
Walter
Hi All,
this is a fun survey to read from everyone's perspective. I am 54, and grew my hair out for a couple of years, cut it shorter a year ago, and now, it is back to beyond shoulder length. So, I am more confident, in a way, because I know what to expect with the awkward stages, and am not looking for "approval". My 90 year old dad is not keen for it, but lives far away, and knows better than say much about it. As I am growing the beard out really long (at 5 months now), I can look a little intimidating, like some Old Testament prophet. Today, at jury selection, a few people were not keen to sit next to me... Mostly, the comment I get is "you looked SO much YOUNGER a few months ago with a smooth face and shorter hair". Since at this stage of my life, I don't really CARE about looking younger, it kind of rolls off, and I actually think they are right, but I am letting it all grow naturally for other reasons. I HAVE been asked to fill in as a "biker" actor, and that sort of thing, so I can see how fellow employees see me.
One funny thing that happened at work, from a guy who has really short hair, and is going in for a new buzz, he says that since most of us at work have long hair and beards, "he wants to stand out, and not go with the crowd!!!" He is in his early 30s and has much to learn!
I do get some hostility from guys who get real regular haircuts and stay buzzed, but I consider their immaturity, and disregard the whole idea.
One thing I do have to watch, is that certain kinds of clothing just seem to look odd, for instance a dress shirt & tie now look odd, so I have a lot of new mock turtlenecks and stuff that look dressy for special occasions. It has changed how I dress a little, but it is worth it. As I don't dress up every day for work or public events, it is good to be prepared for that when it comes along, so it is not a panic, leading to an urge to go to a barber asap.
I live in Oregon (USA) and beards in the winter are very, very common; Long hair is pretty popular in this ski town as well. Dressing up is not a big thing here, so mostly, I am safe. When I take walks at lunch downtown, sometimes the homeless greet me as "one of them" a little too often, but I don't mind!!! It has made it easier for me to help them out, and see what they need.
-Daniel
I'm 21 and I tend to get people asking me when am I ever going to cut it
granted some people compliment me, but not nearly as many as I would hope
it seems more people go out of their way to insult someone rather than compliment
I'm 51. I never really get any comments on my hair. Isn't it sort of rude to comment on other people's appearance?
I'm only a few months into growing, but I noticed that it's easier for teens to push around other teens than it is for adults to push around adults. Also, I personally think that having long hair as an older guy might get more positive comments because a stereotypical old wise man usually has long hair and a long beard.
I'm 15 for the record, and people I know with shoulder length hair never get negative comments, although people in the awkward stage do.
I'm 55, and get very few comments. The only negative comments I have received is from those who have no interest in dating someone with long hair before even meeting that dastardly person!
When you are young, you are rebelling. At my age I am reliving my youth!
Sure, I'll bite. I'm 19, and have been growing for . . . wow, over 2 years! Anywyas, I've only gotten 'bad' comments from very few people, but I think tt's directly related to the people I'm around. The only comments I've recieved that weren't the best were also not unexpected. First is my Opa and Oma, who routinely jokingly say "You should then get a haircut" when it gets in the way. Not a big problem. Next was an old coworker, but he was annoying to everyone so I ignored his blatant "You need to cut your hair" comments. Finally, the only other one I've gotten is by a few young (pre-teen/early teen) girls that are my sister's friends that basically count anything above hockey hair as girly. But then agan, they like Hanna Montana, so I don't value their tastes highly. lol. Everything else has been a neutral or mostly good, especially classmates. I had a few that said that I was a memorable face at the beginning of the year because of my awesome hair! So I'm an outlier.
This novel authored by,
-Christian Epp
(n/t)
51 - mostly positive.
OTOH, as I was walking into my son's school some called out 'nice haircut' and I could tell it wasn't a compliment.
Maybe the real story is that younger people MAKE more negative comments? Then they would just get more because they were hanging out with those who make them?
18, negative mostly
Well I guess I'm the umpteenth person to jump into this.LOL.Well as far as I can remember I can't recall any negative comments about my hair.Being 46 and possibly mean looking people might be afraid of me.Is that possible....do I look mean:)Whatever anyone says I'll just flip my hair in their face!LOL.
Mark
Ah, you have it wrong. We don't look mean. We look intimidating!
On my end, being 6'1" and 290 helps.
Yea, I like the intimidator part.That's more fun than looking like a meanie:)
Yeah !
You and Opal roam the back streets of Trenton terrifying little old ladies !!! HA!
Ha!Yea Opal and me cruzing the backstreets!Now that will shiver their timbers:)LOL
I'm in the same boat Markie-babes, I am 6' 3" with size 11 steel toe caps, so people tend not to comment unless its good, I am 43 years old.
Cheers Dave
Hey Davieeee what a coincidence as I'm 6'3"too but since I'm only 155 lbs. I won't be pushing many people around.LOL.Must be my gray goatee that scares em:)Cheers my friend
Mark
It's simple. Older men, men in their 40s and 50s on up, or men who look old don't get puked on because there's an assumption that at our age, we aren't going to drop everything and dash to a barber when some jackass barks at us.
The assumption with younger men or older boys, whichever you prefer, is that they are impressionable and more apt to follow orders. That's usually b.s. but the type of people who go around hating hair are the ones who dwell in this little para-military world of order, and obedience where they have power so they think they can do this power trip on youth and pull it off.
Hi. I am 22 (almost 23) years old, and comments on my hair is usually positive.
MattM
Very interesting idea for a thread.
I'm 39, and the comments are almost exclusively negative.
"Wow ... your hair is ummm ... long. You're looking, uhhhh .... scruffy."
I think the negativity has most to do with the fact that my hair is thinning on the crown - and of course, as we all know, it is ILLEGAL for a man to have long hair if he is thinning or bald on top. That is after all, an affront to trendy sensibilities ....
I wonder if the comments would be as negative if I did not have MPB ....
I'm 31, and I only receive positive comments about my hair!
I think there's also a length factor in the reaction of people to long hair: I mean, people tend to comment a lot when the hair is shoulder length or so, and when the wearer previously had short hair. This way it's obvious that one is in the stage of growing his hair, and can be ob ject of comments and jokes, like they can hold him from growing
When long hair is a consolidated status, the comments will be more positive.
I have hair down to my butt, and I usually wear it in a bun; when I put it down, I typically get the "Wow, your hair is LONG!", and (from women) "I wish my hair would grow like that". i try to explain that thei hair WILL grow like that simply avoiding to trim it, but they seem not to be convinced of this simple statement.
Wow bro, your avatar picture is incredible--awesome hair man!
I agree with you regarding your comments on this topic.
Thanks for your compliment! It's grown a bit since then...
I think the hair is not the issue here, it just how people stand in life. Younger people have less experience in life and are easier targets for other people.
Only when you're positive about yourself and don't take sh*t from people you can do what you want. Hair included, but also other thinks you do.
The other point is if you really love your own hair, if you really love your hair people can see that and don't try to make negative comments.
The point I'm trying to make, older people have more experience in life and know what they really want. A lot of younger people are still searching so there more prone to getting negative comments.
I'm 23 myself, in the beginning of my hair growing journey I got some negative comment. But growing my hair has been a growth in my whole life, it made me stronger because I finally did what I really wanted. So the comments faded and now I get a lot of positive comments.
I am twenty-two, and most comments (though I only got a few) were negative in the beginning (when I was eighteen and nineteen): "Why are you growing your hair?"
At around the two year mark of growing, the comments became almost exclusively neutral or positive: "Wow, your hair got long" from an old friend I hadn't seen in years and "I wish I had your curls."
Interesting topic JSFrodo, I have only had positive comments, the few negative ones have been said in a jokey manner and taken as such.
I believe the positive comments are more common now that my hair is longer and its obvious to all that this is how I want it and not that I just forgot to cut it!
I have had nice comments from girls that were total strangers and I've had guys that have said "wow, cool hair dude" - so all is well in my hairy world :-)
I am 43 years old in March.
~ Dave
I'm 62, and before I grew my beard out really long but nevertheless had long hair, I mostly got positive comments, but they were most often about my look in general, and comments sometimes got specific and were then about my clothing but seldom about my hair. "General look" comments were references to hippies, or to singers I looked like.
Now that I have a foot long thick white beard, comments are all positive and they are all about the beard, other than a very occasional Z. Z. Top reference. No one notices or at least comments on the hair anymore.
A lot of people just do "double-take" types of looks, friends report. These tend to be offered when I am myself not looking in the person's direction, so I don't see these looks much. However, I also do get comments, most often "Like the beard!" or something similar. Some guys who also have substantial beards will grin big and slide their hand down their own beard as we pass.
I have to comb my beard just like I have to comb my hair, of course, and sometimes someone will be mesmerized watching me comb it in the men's room. I presume they've just never seen a long beard combed.
As for reactions of different age groups, quite a few toddlers are very interested in me. Some just haven't seen anyone with so much facial hair. Others see a Santa Claus connection. This interest is intense enough that I often get to chat with their parents since the interest can't be ignored. Talking with parents promptly assures them that I am friendly and not a threat to their kid, and smiles are then exchanged all around.
As for reactions from teenagers and young adults, I don't get the "looks like a girl" or "looks gay" comments from this age group that some longhairs get. The beard is seen as more masculine than average rather than less, and a lot of guys in this age group would just love to have as much facial hair as I do, particularly when they aren't old enough to grow it yet. It's a real hoot when an 18 year old says he wishes he looked like I do. Very few guys in their 60s get that!
Older guys, and women in general, are more apt to just say "Like the beard!" or something similar. That IS the most common comment, and if I am out all day in public, I am apt to get it an average of one time a day.
Also, I sometimes have other hippie-looking guys strongly drawn to me, but this has a strong "bond with him" component that all the other comments lack.
I live in San Francisco, but the reactions I get elsewhere are substantially the same.
One thing I get that no one has mentioned in this thread yet is that I get photographed a lot. Some people ask, but a lot more just take the picture without asking. The absolute most bizarre time ever for this was about a year ago. I was walking alongside a tall wooden fence where there was nothing to photograph but the blank fence and me. An SUV with two guys in it slowed down, and the guy in the passenger seat had his window rolled down. He clicked one picture after another of me as they slowly drove by. When I got home, I reported that I had just been the target for the first time of a drive-by shooting!
I will say that I am far more liked by people at the first-impression level than I was before either my beard or hair were long. This was the case when just my hair was long or now, when both are. In my case at least, having hair has made me more desirable than less, which is contrary to what was probably in mind when this survey was thought of.
Bill
Hi Bill!
Good to hear from you.
Thanks for going into detail about you experiences.
Regarding the long beard, I have noticed the change in focus of comments since I've grown out my beard (currently 6+ inches) as well. I often get the "ZZ top" comments too. The double takes when people see a big beard are priceless.
Small kids sometimes call me Santa Claus.
I'm often together with Gordon Peterson (from the gaylonghair.com board). When people see us together, we sometimes get a "God and Jesus" comment. One small kid looked at us (Clayton was with us too) and said "Look: beards!!".
We have been photographed occasionally too.
I was at an amusement park one time, and a young couple invited me out of the blue to join them in their souvenir photo at park entrance plaza.
Great looking beard and mane Bill!!
- Oren
I'll have to look you guys up if I get out Dallas way. Gordon's been after me to pay him a visit for years.
My husband and I had the same thing happen at the entrance to Disneyland! It was an Australian couple who wanted to be photographed with us because we looked "so AMERICAN" as they first put it, then going on to imply they thought we were hillbillies or something like that. We sure weren't the only Americans at Disneyland.
Thanks! And glad to see yours is coming back nicely!
Bill
Hmm, I think u do look american.. but i wouldnt say hillbilly at all, maybe they got their words muddled up.. you look like a classic american biker or something, would look just at home on a harley, maybe thats what they meant? :)
One thing I've learned is that when strangers take your picture you shouldn't talk too much. In photographing you they are capturing a fantasy that is playing out in their own minds, and if you chat with them much you will say something that will run counter to their fantasy in some way and spoil it. Therefore it's more fun for them, and thus for you, to keep it all very shallow.
So I did not seek to find out just what they meant....
Bill
Wow, That is one godly beard.
Im quite impressed myself, and im surprised ur 62, I think u look 55ish and my partner said in ur late 50s so ur aging well :)
I think thats a combination of the hair and beard, i dont associate long hair with someone in their 60s, normally you get balding but you dont seem to have any..
Sorry, im a new member to the boards and havent seen a picture of you before.
Hmm, as always I do have a question :P how long have u been growing ur beard, does it grow at the same rate as your hair, and do you use any product in it?
Id prolly grow a beard after I retire..
Hi Pattoe,
About three years, and it's probably reached its terminal length now, except for a few strands that are real fighters.
It does.
I shampoo it once a month, wash it in hot water once a week, and wash it in cool water the other times I shower. That's the same procedure I do with my mane. The mane and beard all really grow together for me, and it would be futile to try to deal with them differently. I just consider it all "my hair".
Hey, why wait! If you want a long beard, keep in mind that after about age 35 the terminal length will start to shorten just like a man's mane's does. There are exceptions, but that is what happens for most guys. So don't wait too long if you want to see what the maximum you can ever grow is.
Bill
Aye, its just that im planning to work in the business sector.. and its hard enough to make longhair look smart.. Its near impossible to make a beard look smart.. its not completely impossible but very difficult. Hopefully I can retire a little bit early or have a long holiday away from work for a few years.. if i save up enough I can probably do that..
As always, life gets in the way of living.
Yeah, you can't put a long beard in a ponytail without looking really dorky. All you can do with a beard is let it be free, and once you do that, it is pointless to put your mane in a tail either, because you are still going to look hairy as hell.
First impressions hold sway for about five minutes, and after that, customers are far more interested in the quality of job you can do for them. If you get a job as a bank teller where you see each customer for about three minutes, you will be making first impressions all day long. Instead, look for a job where you work on long projects with each client, or where you have no customer contact at all.
I worked as an engineer, and my employer had clients shoving my less-shaggy coworkers aside, demanding that they work with me. Why? Because my designs always worked, and that interested them a lot more than how pretty I was.
Bill
Aye, but working in the business sector is a different kettle of fish, ur face isnt only yours, its the companies.. and first impressions last alot longer.
What ur saying about urself.. ur also saying about the business ur respresenting.. When ur dealing with important decisions and large sums of money.. appearance can be taken very seriously, it an be the difference between them loving everything u suggest and hating everything you suggest.
As an engineer I can assume that much more emphasis was placed on ur designs and not ur appearance.. The two arnt related at all.. but in the world of business your appearance and your performance are related, if u dont look 100% suave, people wont listen to what ur suggesting at all.. its a very shallow world.
If i get a job as something like internal market research where ill only have contact with people in the same business as myself i think ill have alot more freedom over my appearance, though.. and might be able tog row a beard, aslong as my work is exceedingly good.
That depends very much on what business you're in, of course. If your product is tangible and your work is readily evaluated, you will be evaluated primarily by your work. If your product is in the nature of snake oil, they have little to go on other than how pretty you are. If you'll get bonuses while your business collapses, you must be very pretty indeed. I can assure you that engineers don't get bonuses if the buildings they design collapse!
I'd suggest that what gets accomplished in that sphere is more the result of the synergy of a mutual admiration society than of the skills of individual members. If you will be good at kowtowing to the whims of a particular group, hey, with the power of a group a lot of money can be made! Just be sure your race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, body height and shape, and facial beauty also meet their standards. Oh, and also your hair length. Having the right relatives can also be very helpful. On the other hand, if meeting those standards is not possible, or it would be tough because in doing so you "just wouldn't be you", you might have a much happier life being yourself and picking work whose value is readily ascertained.
I went down this road, by the way, it's not conjecture on my part. I practiced law for three years and hated it, because in so doing I "just wasn't me". I went into electrical engineering and in time designed the electrical systems in some of the largest buildings in San Francisco. In the end, though, no one on here or elsewhere can tell you the right choices to make. No one can make the right decision about what roads you take, except you.
Indeed, if they KNOW you are good, they are not going to care about your facial hair. Just be sure to get into a line of work where they have a way of knowing you are good!
Oh, and do learn how to spell these words, unless you want to work where you work with your hands: your, isn't, it's, company's, a lot, you're, yourself, can, their, aren't, you, won't, I, and I'll. In fields that are not manual labor, misspelling of common words will sink you much faster than forgoing a razor.
Good luck!
Bill
Aye, Sorry, I kind of type in a half slang half english on the net, I dont like having to read through my posts and put all the punctuation in, makes it take much longer to post, aslong as it is clear and legible without any greater effort than usual on behalf of the reader, It should be fine. I assure you that I use proper English when it comes to my studies and will carry this on to my career.
I dont think ill ever "sell out". I will do whatever it takes to make myself happy and those around me happy. And thats a balancing act between having a successful career that gives a good income and being myself, also being there for my family. I wont neglect my wife and children like my father did with my family.
I know that work isnt everything, and wont let it get in the way of who I am :)
And dont worry, im not taking offence with anything you say, I welcome all advice and prefer it to be straight forward. I dislike it when people try to cushion a stone cold truth to try and save my feelings.
It looks like you are considering your choices with an aim to do what is most right for you. That is far better than looking back later in life and realizing in retrospect that you would have been much happier to have taken a different course.
Best is to keep it all in balance as you are striving to do. Remember, though, no one has ever said on his deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office!"
Wishing you the best,
Bill
Well, I don't think many people have ever really said anything to my boyfriend about his hair.
He's really really shy, and I don't know anyone that has ever had the nerve to say anything negative to him at all...
I've been with him on several occassions when people have complimented him on his hair though(both older individuals and those our age)
We're in our 20s, by the way.
Im 17 now and whenever I get comments about hair its usually "omg it looks so cute on you lol". some girls think I should chop it all off but they're usually the ugly ones that say that lol!
I'm in my 30's and I pretty much only get positive comments about my hair.
16 and most kids at my highschool are real a**holes about my hair. Even the guys that I used to be on the football team with and were cool with turned their back on me. Nevertheless I will continue to grow out my hair. Peace to you guys.
Cool topic, was fun to read the replies. I'm 17 years old and have been growing my hair for 20 months now and it's getting long.
I generally get neutral and negative comments. The negative are mostly from family (cousins, uncles, etc.) but it's all done in a joking manner. "You better cut you're hair faggot", or comments about me looking like a girl, due in part to the fact that I can't grow ANY facial hair..
The only positive compliments I get are from girls. Well, my mom loves my hair and says so every day, haha. A few girls my age will occasionally say "OMG I love your hair."
Anyways, sorry for the long post, I plan on doing an update soon, as my last one was in Spetember (15 months).
I am 53 and, when I get comments on my hair, they are mostly positive.
When I started growing my hair some 30 years ago I used to get a lot of negative comments, many from family and college mates who were of the opinion that I looked better with short hair; I got also more hostile comments from strangers. Eventually I got used to it.
Some 20 years ago I moved to Denmark, where most people don't care about one's hair length. I was getting mostly positive comments.
In 1990, during a travel to Berlin for a rock concert (Roger Water's "The Wall" in Potsdamer Platz), I had a run-in with some skinheads, but I was together with some friends so that it didn't get beyond words.
I am often compared with Hagrid (from the Harry Potter movies) because of my size, which is also likely to discourage people from making negative comments...
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A Linux Longhair
I'm 16 yrs old and I mostly get negative comments from guys saying that I should cut my hair etc. I get posivite comments from most of the girls though, they say they like my hair. I've always had short-middle length hair, recently decided to let it grow, but i'm a bit disappointed with my hair color. It was completely blonde when I was little and gradually darkened to the Brownish hair I have now...
The negative comments seem to be getting less once you get older. I was getting comments much more when I was 14 or 15 than I do now.
I'll keep growing my hair until it gets a few inches past shoulder length. Congratulations to everyone here, most of you have beautiful hair.
I am 57 3/4. I began growing out my hair June '07. I wear a hair barrette a lot; for various reasons.
I have not received much bad or good comments. I think there are probably a lot of people (Plano,Texas) who would like to make bad comments. But so far it hasn't been too bad.
I admire the couarge of school boys to grow thier hair. And it is inspiring to think of permissive/supporting parents.
I've always been so afraid of others opinons. I probably couldn't have let my hair grow out at a young age without supportive parents/therapy or something.
This site has been great support. When I first started growing out my hair, it seemed scary to go without getting a haircut. Bill C's web site helped a lot and directed me to this web site.
Interesting idea, and I've often thought about that age concept as well. Most people seem to be indifferent, the odd time I get a compliment or a genuinely interested question. Very few negatives.
I'm 35, will be 36 in a few weeks, but a lot of people guess me to be around 27. Maybe the goatee and earrings make a difference?
I'm 53, 6'2", 250lbs and I have a certain intensity about me that many say makes me look mean.
I get no verbal comments, neither good nor bad.
However, little old ladies shrink away from me in elevators, so I guess that is a non-verbal "comment"
I am 41 years old and get more positive than negative comments regarding my hair. My hair is thick, blonde, with waves and down to my lower back.
I'm 47 and get hardly any negative comments but I get a few bad looks.
When I was in school we rarely even saw anybody's ears, longhair was cool and if you didn't wear it you were a weirdo. lol.
Now it seems that the longhaired kids are ostracized. Maybe it's just worse in Alabama.
Paul
Hey JS...I will be 50 in March and I mostly receive negative comments from the people who have known me since I started this hair growing thing. Otherwise from strangers, it's not mentioned too much so I don't know one way or the other what their opinions are., Every now and then I get a compliment from someone ...male or female and I just concentrate on those statements because they make me feel great!
Hope you are doing well.
Cheers,
Max
After a decade spent on college campus learning to write software I have to say, without exception, the most brilliant person I met had long hair pulled back into a pony tail. This changed my stereotype forever in a positive way.