new thread
OK, here's the story: I'm a highschool freshman, and my hair is approximately three inches long all around, which is pretty long for a guy (at least in my hometown). I've been trying to grow out my hair for the last three years, however, my mom has been forcing me to cut it every few months. Not just a trim to neaten things up, but a full blown cut that takes about an inch off. First she said it "doesn't look normal" and "it's not the norm." Then she changed her story to "I don't care how long it is, as long as it's neat and clean." When she was saying this I let her trim it because I thought she had changed her mind, and suprisingly she kept her word and did nothing more than even it out. However, about three days later she told me she needed to cut it again, and this time she said she was taking a lot off. Every once and awhile I throw down an ultamatim and refuse to get it cut, but she ends up grounding me until I give in. I'm getting really sick of her butting in. Did anyone else go through this or know what I should do?
Sorry dude. Sounds like my Mom when I was a kid. You may be pretty much stuck until you start paying your own way. Try talking to her first though, may help, may not.
I am currently growing my hair out for the second time. My hair now reaches my mouth. Before I had my hair down to my shoulders and it was undercut. For two years my mom always told me to cut it it will look better, or sometimes she said you need to cut it if you want a girlfriend. Just bare through it, tell her its your hair and you dont want to cut it.
The women's liberation always stresses EQUALITY between the sexes,
but its obvious they really don't mean it through their actions. If a girl can have her hair short or long, so can a young fellow like you. One FOOT on a girls head DOESN'T EQUAL one INCH on a boys head, unless there IS A DIFFERENCE between the sexes. As far as her comment of being "it's not the norm", as her what about women/girls
short hair styles, women working, guys wearing earings, etc. Aren't these out of the norm?
Just three and a half years, and you'll be graduated and living on your own or what-not.
Of all the things for your mother to choose to battle you over, long hair seems silly. If you're doing well in school, not in trouble with the law, not into drugs and stuff, then she should be happy.
But no matter, try to build a deeper understanding with her. Far too many people end up in endless fights with their parents that extend far into adulthood. She's the only mother you'll ever have.
Are you kidding? Try going to a Catholic high school in the 70's where they measured girls skirts and boys hair. (It couldn't touch the collar of a dress shirt). My mother was too happy with that. You, like me will probably have to wait until after graduation.
PS, My Mother still to this day hates my hair!
We have a lot in common!
Man, I guess I'm more fortunate than I thought!
I started growing my hair long in about 1976. I started growing it REAL LONG in 1977. My mother hated it. Fortunately, my father didn't care. And it was my father that ruled the house! Even he had his limits though, and would often ask me to "get a trim". He didn't demand it though, and I just let it grow. By the time I was 16 or 17, it was VERY long!
I'm 39 years old now and after 25 years, my mother still refuses to shut up about my long hair. 25 years later she still gripes about it!
Tell her you're happy for her that she can style her hair any way she chooses. You're happy for her because she's happy with herself and her appearance.
Now you'd like for her to be happy for you by allowing you to look and feel the way YOU want to look and feel, just as she does for herself. Tell her if she cares about how you feel about yourself, she'll allow you to be you. Tell her you respect her decision on how she wants to look, and you'd like for her to respect your decision on how YOU want to look.
Tell her you respect her opinion, but that you want to look the way you want, just as you want her to look the way she wants. Then tell her it's not like you want multiple piercings and green spiked hair and wear cutoff Army fatigues with combat boots! It's just hair!
Sounds like rebellion time to me. You're at the age when you start growing apart from what your parents want you to be into who you want to be. I think this is something everyone goes through. You'll just have to not worry about her grounding you. Show her that you don't care what she does and that there's nothing she can do to change who you are. Sure, you'll fight, but that's an inevitable part of every teenager's life. Most parents are weaker than you think, trust me. I used to think my mom would never give in in many different cases, but in the end she did. Parents usually can't stand the thought of their kids treating them like they're not the "mommy" or "daddy" that they once were. In fact, that's the reason that a lot of parents don't want to lose control over their kids: because they want them to stay "mommy and daddy's little boy." This stage in the development of your personal identity isn't really fun, but it's gonna happen sooner or later. And if you want your hair long now rather than later, it looks like you'll have to start on this path now.
Grounded? So what. Take the grounding. After a little while, your mom will get tired of always having you under foot and she will give up and let you out.
sounds to me like you are in for alot of years of meddling from your mother, I would draw my line in the sand now and stand up to her. Let her know you are your own person and you do not want to be treated like a child. You are now a young man and its time for you to show your style and your individuality, Truth of the matter is that if you allow your mother to control you now she will probably continue to do so your whole life. Some women just do not know how to let their children out from underskirt. Be polite and be clear in how you tell her, she loves you and I'm sure you love her BUT if you give her the power she will continue to hold it on you. Someday you will have a life partner and the last thing you want is an over zealous mommy interfering. Do what you can now to cut the umbilical cord so you can live a life of freedom where your mom's opinion is appreciated but not Mandatory to be carried out. it usually goes far beyond just hair.