new thread
Hello Long Hairs. I’ve appreciated the wisdom and advice on this and the Men’s Long Hair Site. I’ve thought about long hair for many years but couldn’t consider the awkward stages I saw a friend of mine endure. While I can’t recall saying “Cut your hair man!” I can recall being distracted by him needing to move it away from his eyes every couple of minutes. I’m now also at the stage where it clearly does not enhance my appearance and it wouldn’t take much to bring forth hair cut advocates. I can weather that, but I need advice how to weather a few frustrating issues which have recently surfaced.
BACKGROUND
Up until January of 2008, I had a flat-top hair style for many years. It worked pretty well except that it needed to be cut every two to three weeks to stay sharp and a careless or sloppy cutter could set it back six weeks. I let it grow out after that, but I had a couple of trims in the following months before deciding to grow it long; consequently, my begin growing it date is skewed. IÂ’m counting May 2008 as my start date and I confess that I went to an ex-long hair for an ever-so-slight trim and razor texturing last November. From the looks of the floor, this didnÂ’t set me back in length and the shampoo and conditioners advised helped improve things.
Currently, IÂ’m not quite a pony tail length, but I can put it in the corners of my mouth. If I bunch it at the back of my crown, then it isnÂ’t long enough to include the hair from the back of my neck. Bunching it any lower releases the hair being pulled back from my forehead. (As I write this, I could probably bunch it lower and use some kind of gel to slick it back on the top.) IÂ’m hoping that if I can make it to a legitimate pony-tail length, IÂ’ll have smooth sailing to terminal length.
Otherwise, it is driving me nuts. It has been decades since IÂ’ve done anything to care for my hair other than wash it. I am hoping in the future I will have versatility that will make it all worthwhile (i.e., ponytail, just hanging, styled, etc.).
CHALLENGES
Sleeping
How do I sleep with this? Last night I had trouble sleeping because I felt it tickling my neck. I wake up with it plastered to my face.
Appearance Uncertainty
It is like an independent and uncooperative pet. While this can be part of its appeal, I seem to have very little control over how it looks. IÂ’ve been using shampoo and conditioner from Redken, which seem much better than the two-in-on drug store products I could use when my hair was short. After washing it, it is very soft and silky but doesnÂ’t have much body. I no longer wash it without conditioning it. I just blot it dry with a towel. I easily glide a wide tooth comb through it while it is still damp. I then have the option of trying to style it with various products or do nothing.
Using products just exacerbates the unpredictability. It can be entertaining to all of a sudden have extremely big hair, and I can frequently make it look pretty good and inviting, but I hate the feel of it and want to wash it out. Doing nothing just means I need to wait and see how it will emerge and there is no way to tell until IÂ’ve slept on it. Most of the time, the evening wash/morning bed head is preferable; but there are times I need to do something with it in the morning. Using a brush adds another level of unpredictability and I donÂ’t particularly like the way it leaves my scalp feeling.
ADVICE?
If expanding a collection of brushes, what should I consider?
Aside from bandanas and hats, any other grooming advice?
And again, how can I sleep with this?
Hi Sojourner,
"It is like an independent and uncooperative pet" Lol, it's angry because of all those haircuts!!!
I vaguely remember that tickling sensation on my neck. I think your hair is just at that length where it's going to bother you. I don't know if I got used to it or if it feels differently since it's longer but I do know it no longer bothers me. Frankly, I would feel rather naked without it.
I have a few strands that don't quite reach. I think they got damaged and broke off. Anyway, I use a small dab of gel to control them and it also helps smooth back the hair on top of my head. Remember, just a dab.
I don't know how to help you with sleeping thing. I didn't have that problem. Maybe a shower cap, I don't know.
I will say this, the "awkward stage" is just a stage and it don't last forever. Bear with it and it will get a lot easier.
Paul
Any advice about what kind of brushes to get (i.e., bristles, shape of brush, etc.)? There seem to be so many kinds and it is not as though you can try them out before buying them.
Thanks!
-T
Hi Sojourner, and welcome to the mlhh!
That certainly was a comprehensive post you made as you outlined your hair issues rather well.First off if you could possibly post a pic of your hair that would help in making some suggestions.Much of what you are going through now is quite foreign to me at this point as I've had longhair for well over 20 years so I'd have to think back to the 1980s to even remember what it was like.However dealing with the awkward stage can be rougher on some more than others as it depends on hair type.To answer some of your questions I would pick up a boars bristle brush to use as I've done that just recently and was pleasantly surprised how nice it was to use over those synthetic ones.If I need to restrain my hair I use a baseball cap with my hair stuffed underneath which works well if I'm doing any king of work where it would just get in the way.Being my hair is waist length I sleep with a T shirt on and my hair in between my back and the shirt.Keeps it from getting pulled if I move around while I'm sleeping.So good luck my friend and I hope longhair works for you:)Cheers
Mark
"...I sleep with a T shirt on and my hair in between my back and the shirt.Keeps it from getting pulled if I move around while I'm sleeping..."
Mark !
That sounds to me as though it would be uncomfortably "lumpy" (if you sleep on your back) and very itchy. Interesting. Thanks for sharing that information....
Walter
That's been exactly my thought when this practice has been mentioned before. While getting dressed, I'll occasionally leave my hair inside a pullover shirt long enough to get my pants on so I don't have to worry about it getting in the way of the pants and/or belt, but I've got to pull it free fairly quickly or it starts to bother me.
Hi Walter,
Actually that has worked well for me for awhile now especially with really long hair.Just so you know I don't wear any hair ties when I do that as I just leave it loose.That way there are no uncomfortable lumps under my shirt.Also I don't sweat a lot as if I did it would be uncomfortable wearing my hair under a shirt.I suppose its not for everyone but at laest its an option.
Mark