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Hi, so im a 19yr. old boy from 'india'. I had long hairs but cut it bcoz everytime i go outside for a walk, or a public place i see ppl(mostly teenegers) laughing at me and calling me a girl. Its bcoz ppl in india are really old-fashioned and they think only women can have long hairs? ...im quite stressed bcoz i had to cut my hairs bcoz of them :(and i dont like short hairs. And i didnt wanted others to mock me or laugh at me and plus im really goodlukn too but 'skinny'(better lookin than all of those dudes who i saw laughing at me, most of them was illiterates tho) !
My story is similar, Robin, and people who looked at my last post know I even complained about having been threatened to go somewhere else to live if I didn't cut my hair. It's pretty much a similar story everywhere; there are only 7-10% of longhairs (or less?) in the world.
You are primarily growing (or would it now be 're-growing'?) your hair because you like it, do you not? If so, don't change your appearance because of someone else's liking if it will result in your dissatisfaction with yourself. To add to the comedy, it's often not even their liking, it's more a kind of a whim, a plain, irrational desire that will be replaced by another desire once you fulfil the first one, and so those people will never be finally satisfied with yourself. They will torment you with their whims to forever, unless you stop it with your firmness of attitude. By laughing at you, they're showing not only that their attitude and value hierarchy is comedical, but that they are fine with that too. More often a clown laughs to us than we do to a clown.
Thanx nicola, thats sad that u was threatened bcoz of ur hairs. But i think for me it is too hard to have long hairs in india bcoz ppl here are always staring at u and those 'punjabi' boys acts like monkeys in public..and i have a short haircut now but im growing my hairs again and i wanna ask u that what do u meant by changing it by 'firmness of attitude' did u meant i should ignore whoever laughs at me? :) Thanx and have a blessed day mate.
Well, in a nutshell, if you can't change your opponent, change yourself. That is, don't change to look like them (!), but change so that their malicious remarks can't reach you. As you said, try to ignore them as much as possible and let your behaviour demonstrate them that you are really fighting for being a longhair and that no threatening look or word will make you change your mind. The majority, if not all, people on the MLHH faced others' inhibition and malice but they got what they wanted by being too tough to get cracked. You can achieve this toughness and determination too, only if you want it.
Hi Robin,
Thanks so much for posting your picture as you are a great looking guy with your hair:)I can never understand why people who are shorthaired have to mock ones for their choice of being a longhair.What's it to them anyway?The problem for you younger longhairs is that they seem to think you can be pressured into a haircut where as an older longhair seldom gets that treatment.I figure they are a bit more respectful of an older adult as that treatment is childish anyway.My friend, I hope you keep your longhair as you look fantastic with it.I bet those shorthaired guys are just jealous that's all.Stick to it Robin as we all support you here!Cheers.
Mark
Thanx mr.hairball u have some great longhairs :u i think u're right they mock me bcoz im young and thin and these ppl think they can mock me easily while they cant mock a strong-built longhair guy. And ive seen a very few guys with longhairs in my city of 'india' and all of them are older than me and they mostly tie their hairs in a ponytail but my problem is that i see ppl looking n laughing at me everyday whenever i go outside .few of my mates have told me to just ignore them but i cant ignore it if someone is goin to laugh at me like everyday and it hurts me bcoz im 'sensitive' since my childhood. And thanx so much for saying that yall r here to support me ,it means alot to me :)u made my day. And i just had a haircut but im growing them again but im worried that ppl r going to laugh at me again.
such a fabulous shine! What a shame to feel that it should be cut because of a bunch of idiots and their stupid and arrogant remarks.
In the future just pay them no attention. They are not worth it.
If you want long hair because YOU like it, then grow it. If they don't like it, well then tough!
All the best-
Justin~
Hi Robin,
Please ignore people that are so backward looking, long hair suits you very well indeed and you look great in that picture.
You're a cool young guy, keep it growing.
You will get lots of support here, so join in and ask us anything you need to know.
See you around,
Cheers Dave
Robin - that is very sad because your hair looks really good and suits so well.
Sadly some people will laugh wherever you are and you will have try to live with it - maybe they will give up if you just ignore them.
I really hope that you do grow you hair again and can keep it this time. Strangely in the UK many people of Indian origin have long hair.
It's your life so try to live it as you want.
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Your hair looks great, Robin. It is really thick and full, and will look fantastic when really long. I am amazed that you would get treated that way for having long hair in India. Sikhs have long hair and beards and there are many of them in India. My advice is to go ahead and grow it to your waist and ignore those jerks.
Scott
Ignore people who make fun of you. They are just pitiful stupid jerks, anyway. High school is FULL of idiots who like to make fun of other people for being different, --- and they will ESPECIALLY pick on people who are overly-sensative in their reaction to teasing! You can learn how to develope a thicker skin than that. It's all in how you react to them. Seriously, I mean that! If you pay them no mind, YOU win. If you continue to choose to react super-sensatively whenever you hear their babbling, taunting nonsense, then you are constantly allowing THEM to get the upper hand. It's your choice (and it IS a "choice!")...
The good news is that your hair is so awesome that probably in a few years I'll bet that the kids who are teasing you now will start to show signs of baldness, hair thinning, etc., while they will end up then being jealous of YOU because of your beautiful hair!!!
If you play your cards right, trust me, you'll have the last laugh, not them.
And besides... As you get older, people usually end up growing out of that childish phase of teasing people who are simply different. Older people usually have better things to do with their time!
- Ken in San Francisco
Good job! THE advice for all the upcoming longhairs!
Ken's absolutely right on that. I have two older brothers, and they liked to pick on me something fierce when we were young. My mom finally convinced me that the reason they like picking on me so much was because (in her words) "you scream so good". When I learned to just ignore their taunts, they quit having fun, so they quit doing it.
The funny thing is, in a back-handed way they taught me a valuable life lesson. From them I learned to "tune out" what other people expected me to be, and to be who I wanted to be.
With all due respect, sometimes that's easier said than done. Sometimes it's impossible not to mind--it hurts so much because you know (?) they're doing it specifically to be hateful, and when it's on that level, there's just nothing you can do. I guess I just had way too earnest a frame of mind for my own good--I kept wanting these people's *friendship* for some reason. People kept telling me to ignore them, and I listened, and when it happened AGAIN, I just couldn't keep my reaction all bottled up. No one knew (not even me) what it would take to reach me. And I didn't even have long hair in high school.
What I'd say is, find a way to react that shows self-control, but still allows you to express yourself (and, importantly, get the upper hand).