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I'd like to gain some insight into the mind of a parent. Why are some so apprehensive about their son(s) growing out their hair? It seems that they have no substantial argument ready. Is it because they're afraid they'll get picked on because of it or is their something that I'm missing? Thanks in advance from your answer.
Chris.
Hello Chris,
I believe many parents who are very traditional (like mine) are aware of the negative stigma attached to people with long hair in the 60s and 70s. The only reason my parents could give me was that it looked bad, messy, unkempt, etc. (This is with hair just over the ears, as it was the longest my dad would ever let me grow mine). I also do believe you are right in that a parent who thought this way would be embarrassed to admit his son had long hair.
Right now, as I am living on my own, their reasoning is that it is "unprofessional" and will hurt my chances at improving my career. But as many here can attest, their hair has not hindered their career at all.
Times have certainly changed.
At least your parents gave you an answer, however absurd it may have been. My mom just says, "You look better with shorter hair," but let me grow it after months of negotiations and their are still strings attached.
Hey, Chris.
Mostly, I think think it has to do with the difficulty in reconciling what their inner picture of what their son(s) look like (and who they are) with a changing outer image. If the outer changes, does the 'who' of their child(ren) change, too?
Just as parents would be hesitant (and come up with a bunch of lame excuses) for their one-time pink sun-dress wearing, pigtailed daughter to dress in black (including fingernails) and get a buzz cut. (Even though we all know that buzz cuts and black clothing aren't, in and of themselves, significant of any negative personality trait.)
Add this to their legitimate concerns for how others might perceive, and thus treat, their child and I think we've got a reason for many parents' unreason.
Just me thoughts.
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
I see where you're coming from. Change is always harder for the traditional, older ones.
Hey, I'm 51, and follow the traditions of ye olde hippie movement.
Hi Chris C,
I have 5 kids in my family counting my nephew. 4 of those 5 are boys and we all have longhair (except for my 4 month old baby).
My boys seem to be quite popular, partly for their hair. No body pics on them especially my nephew who has been in three fights this year. He beat the crap out of some boys who started a fight with him. Since then, no one messes with him.
Lately I have noticed a lot more longhaired boys and I like to think it may be partly due to my kids.
My mom hated the fact that I wanted my hair to be long. I never did figure it out. I will say this though, I would be aghast if any of my boys wanted a haircut. If one of mine come in with a buzz I would probably puke. Seriously, I hate that stupid look.
Paul
I wish my parents had your attitude towards longhairs. I don't think they know how important growing my hair out is to me. I guess they think I'm trying to join a fad and that all the kids these days are growing their hair out to terminal length. Do you know of a way I can get them grow my hair out without strings attached?
Thanks,
Chris.
I'm also a longhaired dad, although in my case it's only been for the last five-six years and my two oldest boys were already out of the house before I started growing it. My youngest (the only one still at home) recently let his grow out to the "shaggy" stage, before reverting back to his standard "#4 on top, #2 on the sides". Not my favorite hairstyle, but that's the way he prefers it. And to me, that's what matters, what he wants on his head rather than what I or anyone else thinks he should do with it.
I agree with JSFrodo that it should be an individual decision. Our son is growing his hair our at present (now aged 15) and it's over his shoulders, but when he was eight he went through a phase of wanting short hair spiked up on top. We didn't like it, but we let him get the haircut, after a cooling off period to be sure he really wanted it done.
I'm 51, so probably older than many of the parents who want their boys to have short hair. They must be young fogeys. Just for a laugh, why not tell them I called them that?!
Ok fine,
These two statements make me think the two of you might believe that I force my sons to grow their hair. Well, if that's true then you both should think again.
I'll have you know that I'm raising individuals who think for themselves. I've asked them if they wanted to cut it. My nephew said he has wanted to grow his hair for a long time. In one of the foster homes he lived in he was given a forced haircut. My third grade son hates it when we have to trim it for the stupid school policy.
To them, growing your hair is a symbol of being your own person and I hope that's what they see in me.
Paul
Could be worse. Experimenting with long hair is one thing. Experimenting with drugs, violence, or Republican politics is another thing.
Nate
Especially Republican politics.
Which over the last few years has mirrors Democratic politics. Very scary stuff.
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