new thread
For years, I thought longhairs were simply too cool to care what other people thought...(bikers, musicians, etc)....mostly cause I happen to be both...so I'm glad I found this group that looks at the issue form a different perspective...Cheers!
All of us have encountered prejudice about the length of our hair at one time or another. For the hell of it, I've used religious (rastafarianism), cultural (part native american) and whatever other 'this will shut 'em up' method I can think of, but the fact is my long hair is ME.
Anyway...here goes:
I make a very good living as a safety manager for GE Energy. Most people I encounter, whether technicians, contractors, customers, etc, couldn't possibly care any less about the length of my hair.
(I even think that -on some levels- the big (6'3", 230 lbs) longhair, biker, safety dude, actually makes the guys work safer because they -on a subliminal level- FEAR that facade; if that makes sense...(we're talking psychology here...)
Anyhoo...to make my point...the site manager on the site I'm on now has made thinly-veiled threats about the crew 'holding me down and giving me a haircut' and understandably I'm a little pissed off...
I think it's mostly talk or his pitiful attempt at humor, but it does not amuse me. I WILL react violently & I know how to cause pain if they should sincerely try something like that.
Upper, senior, management has told me hair length doesnt matter to them 'as long as you don't interact with the public in a professional capacity'...whatever that means...so I have corporate's 'approval' as it were, but it still pisses me off.
Just wondering if any of you guys have encountered this kinda thing before....?
The only person (so far) that has said to my face "Get a haircut" has been my teenage daughter, and that was in jest. I've only gotten compliments from co-workers. For all the claims that the U.S. is a "free country," it amazes me how intolerant some Americans can be.
I believe I am one of the few here who would support you if you had to defend yourself in a violent manner. I have heard of this kind of thing actually happening (2 people I can think of right off). It may start off as a "joke" but you should not take it lightly.
Remember, scissors and knives are deadly weapons. This gives you a lot more leeway in defending yourself.
Personally I would take this guy aside and let him know, in private, how I take it very seriously and also how I would mess him up if he succeed in making good his idle threat.
He is probably full of it and will back off and say he was just horsing around.
Of course, you could just file a complaint on him.
Keep us updated on it Benjamin.
Paul
": Personally I would take this guy aside and let him know, in private, how I take it very seriously and also how I would mess him up if he succeed in making good his idle threat.
I'd come up with another story: what if the threatening person is one's very brother? E.g., my elder brother occasionally pisses me off by throwing humiliating words at me and taunting me. Surely, if I listened to my hormones, I'd kick his insolent, immature ass, but then he's my brother, the son of my parents as well, and I'm only left with bearing him on my neck, at least for a year more (until I graduate).
Just thought this might be a paralel between my and the guy's case, I understood his colleagues taunt him. Well, we're in a kinda similar position, but what I'd do is try to ignore as much as I can. They want to be neanderthal, semi-civilised dregs; well, let them be. I console myself that I always have a number of people whom I can trust who and for whom I know they do admire me, and if someone is discontent with the fact, he can go do you-know-what!
Hi Nikola,
I assume this brother of yours is younger? Is he a hair hating jerk like this guy who is giving Benjamin a hard time? I say stomp his ass, it may be just the thing to straighten out his attitude. Like it or not, this method does work. Some people are just not "civilized" enough to understand anything short of a good butt whipping. If you can't kick his butt... maybe you should take some self defense classes or something.
If anyone, even my own brother, ever tried to cut my hair, I would try my very best to knock his ass into the next county. Anything less would be an act of cowardice.
Paul
Thanks to both of you for the response...
The positive side of me thinks it's just this clown's attempt at misguided humor; as we all know...GE is a very large company that has little tolerance for harassment of any kind because they fear the almighty lawsuit, so I think it's just troglodytical chest-thumping on his part...
(I'm very impressed, as you can tell...)
The thing is: my hair was actually mentioned by this neanderthal on the staffing call (a conference call to decide what sites we go to) before I was sent to his site. My manager called me, told me what the guy said and asked if it would be an issue. I told him -honestly- "not for me" as I had worked with the guy before and hadn't had a problem.
Fast forward to my first encounter with the guy this time around...The VERY FIRST WORDS out of his mouth were: "I see you decided to defy me and not get a haircut..." My response was something like, "Hell no...and I never will". But on the inside I was thinking, "Jesus Christ...they still MAKE your kind?"
He then proceeded to introduce me to other managers as the 'hippy safety man', "Don't let his looks fool you...he's one of the best", etc...and I was very pleased that most of them greeted me warmly and looked at him like "you're a joke, dude...."
Maybe it was much ado about nothing, but I'll keep you guys posted...
Thanks again!
Benjamin T. Collier V
GE Wind Energy
Project EHS Manager
High Plains Wind Project
Rock River, Wyoming
That guy is looking for a beatin'. If he keeps his "jokes" up, transfer to another location. If you can't transfer, file complaints. If you can't file complaints, give the guy the beatin' he asking for. (Not really) :-)
You could if the subject came up offer up a thinly veiled thread of you and your biker friends holding certain people down and exacting revenge. Also playing on the facade / psychology a bit.
Psychologically speaking one of the greatest motivational tools around is fear. Humans have been using it to "motivate" or control each other since we walked upright on hind legs.
Kevin
I'm still a teenager but I've had groups of idiots coming to me while I was sitting with my girlfriend somewhere in a park and offer me money to get a haircut. they were making fun of me saying stuff like :"wow, getting a haircut must be really expensive nowadays right ?" anyway they were all idiots and i'd kill every one of them if i'd have the chance. But you, WOW, I mean you're already an adult, well built and tall, I'd think no one would have the guts to come to you with such threats, and they probably wouldn't if they were alone. I noticed that no one ever comments on my long hair or black clothes with unorthodox stuff on them (metalhead here :D) if they're alone, but in groups everyone starts commenting and telling me to cut my hair. It just gets annoying after some time...I'm not a violent man myself but some guys really deserve a beating.
Lol, hell yeah!
Here's my advice.
1 Never admit to your girlfriend that you want to kill those guys. Never. Always be cool in front of her, blow it off.
2 Never talk about killing these guys again. If something ever did happen to one of them then you may be in serious trouble.
3 Don't bite off more than you can chew. Everybody has to walk away sometimes.
4 Find out everything you can about these idiots... from a distance. Avoid them if you can but know who they are.
5 Don't let it eat at you. Hating someone so much can end up ruining your life. Keep your anger on a low flame, if you control it then you can put it to a positive use.
There is probably one main jerk is this group and everybody else just imitates him. If you can ever make him look like a fool then that might change things. If you don't know how to fight remember that there are more than one way to win. Use your head.
Paul
itsonlyhair
If anyone EVER even TRIED to cut my hair... I wouldn't hesitate for one second to break their jaw.
I understand you have to be civil. But, when someone tries to physically harm you, even though it's hair, then you have the right to stop them and defend yourself.
Some people have made little comments here and there about my hair but I shrug it off. I usually respond to the "get a hair cut" with "why don't you come over here and make me" ;) heh and probably way more rude things I say.
Thats the beauty of it...I know how to physically handle myself in a confrontation and there WILL be pain for anyone that tries to get cute. (I'm a firm believer in 'no such thing as a fair fight...)
Besides...ya never know, but highly unlikely any of this will happen. GE harps on safety (and I'm the safety manager here)and integrity above all else and this butt-monkey knows it would mean his job if he DID try something. It would also mean one helluva lawsuit as -no matter how you slice it- what he has said (jokingly or not) he wants to do leaves them as a corporation open for liability & damages...
well i know the lifestyle youre talking about, well the biker one anyway. One thing to remember is even bikers need jobs whether their managers technicians or even a tow-truck driver, it doesnt matter. One main thing u must remember is you will actually encounter people who deeply respect you because of your determination to your unique lifestyle, and they actually wish they could do the same. They wish they could live the lifetyle they secretly want, but they simply havent got the balls to do it. So be proud of your locks lol.
Couldn't agree more....but -as I said- I have the tacit 'approval' from upper management to keep my hair long, so it's not really an issue; other than that brain-dead chuzzlewitz that thinks he was being 'cute' by threatening me...
Also...you're right. ALOT of other managers I know -whether field level or regional have made it a point to email or call me & tell me they too are starting to grow out their hair. I don't know when or more to the point WHY the sheeple decided a few years ago that the bald/crew cut/Marine buzz/shaved monkey nuts thing looked good, but its cool to see that alot of high school cats are growing theirs long again.
Cheers!
Shaved monkey nuts? Did you say shaved monkey nuts? lol.
Oh, I can't wait to use that one!
Paul
LMFAO....a tribute to the late comedian Robin Harris...(but MOST appropriate!)
Someone (I think it was the liberal blogger "Digby") once called our times "the Age of Male Insecurity." And since Men Have Short Hair, well, crew-cuts must be just über-manly.... You can make guys do lots of things by telling them they have to do it to get some Hawt Sexx Akshun--and most of the rest can be rounded up by telling them they have to do it to make a decent living. It's probably been mostly bullshit all along, but that's OK for The Establishment as long as they can make people think otherwise.
I've noticed that, too. Actually, lots of those crew cut guys are perfectly OK with others having long hair (some of them having worn their own hair long--or at least longer--in their own teenage days).
My Myspace page
lol well put
Hi Benjamin,
Thanks for telling us about yourself and also your problem with this co worker.Even though it might have not been a real threat, but just kidding around, I'd still keep an eye on this guy.You sound like you know how to handle these situations maturely and its cool that you have a good job with a large company.It's nice to know that there are still us older longhairs holding our own my friend.I feel fortunate that I've had longhair most of my adult life and never really had a problem about it.Do post again as it would be great hearing from you from time to time.Cheers
Mark
Thanks for the reply Mark!
I have zero doubt I can handle this guy...thankfully I don't have much interaction with him during the day for the most part and it's usually just a question he has or some paperwork to sign...that kinda thing. Other than that, he does his thing and I do mine.
Cheers!
Any way you slice it, he's threatened you with assault. The fact that it's possibly meant to be "funny" is beside the point. What makes it worse is that it's coming from a manager. I'd try to get a recording of him saying it and/or make sure that someone from HR or more senior management knows what's going on, even if they don't actually act at this stage.
If he's trying to bully you, he's probably doing the same with other workers in different ways. Sounds like he's a great manager and role model (!)
Yep, a few years ago I was going to a very conservative church, pretty legalistic really. Anyway although most people didn't say too much to me, there was one guy that frequently made the comment of tieing me down and cutting my hair for me. Other than this one issue we got along pretty good. We'd have some good debates that was good for both of our faith. Anyway, I put up with it for awhile until one day we was at a mens retreat and he made that comment publicly in the presence of about 20 men. I just pulled him aside and told him that I concider my hair as an article of my faith and how I felt treatened by the comments. Then I made it very clear to him that if he should ever try that kind of thing I would stop at nothing to protect myself and my hair as an article of my faith. Such an action on his part would be viewed as an assult against my faith in addition to me personally. That took care of his idle treats, although we did still have some pretty lively yet friendly debates about long hair on men from then on.
Daniel
Its Real, Ben...Watch yer back, man.
Hi Dudz,
I'm Jimbo, live near Eugene, OR, what the world perceives to be a very liberal place, & to some extent that's true. However, the Yuppies rule here, and cop attitudes all the time. I have performed an interesting experiment, & I urge U to try it too, if you have'nt already.
Have your freak flag flyin, and go into a bank, grocery, or any kind of merchant that you do not do biz with regularly. Interact with the manager or some higher up (not just a clerk or cashier), and notice how they interact with you, i.e., general attitude, eye contact, forthcomingness of information, etc.
If you get that look that we all know: "Looky what just crawled out from under a rock...", return a few days later with your hair in a ponytail, & interact again.
I have repeated this on many occasions, and I am usually flabbergasted, to find that I am NOT recognized, but am treated respectfully, and as a human being. WHY a man's face framed by hair elicits such bad vibes, but if its tucked out of site, its all right !? Judge the book-by-its-cover syndrome, I guess
Don't know what it is, maybe they perceive a transient or a druggie or a low-life, but this attitude is prevalent in a NW college town of 150,000+ people.
One would think that in an era when THE role models, college and pro athletes, sport all manner & stripe of bizarre hair styles, that shoulder length hair would be no big deal, but it is. I can only imagine what it must be like to have long hair in less liberal areas of the country.
Can U guys report back from the front lines about this and lemme know..maybe I'll move if its better elsewhere. Violence can be psychological as well as physical.
Keep On Truckin,
Jimbo