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Hey guys,
Do you find that you receive more unwanted attention since growing your hair long. I've been growing my hair for the past two and half years now and it's down to the my back. I'd find people, both men and women, check me out for longer than usual when I'm out in public, and I'm absolutely certain it's because I have long hair. It's flattering to a degree, but sometimes I'd find stalker types lurking too.
For example, the other day I was at a supermarket by the butcher's section, and another guy with a ponytail just kept staring, and "nonchalantly" walked towards me while pretending to shop, and the guy kept following me from a distance afterwards too. Yeah, so subtle right? Also, Strangers and acquintances try to find reasons to touch your hair, like accidentally brushing against your hair while you're seated in a chair, or the person standing in line behind you will just "accidentally" touch your hair.
Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I usually have a pretty good radar for these kind of things. Most of these incidents are very harmless, but I don't like the "secret admirer" types who follow you around. I was just wondering if any of you guys have experienced that.
Hi FC,
I only had short hair for about 4 years when I was in the army, 81-85. I can truthfully say that I get more attention with the long hair. Good and bad.
As for guys following me around, well I can't relate to that one. Lol, weird. I have had "short hairs" express envy because they were in a position where they believed they could not grow their hair.
I would like to say this, I often start up a conversation with other longhairs just because there is a distinct non-camaraderie among us.
It seems that if the guy is in the "awkward phase" then they seem to appreciate a longhair noticing their attempt at growing their hair.
But if they have hair close to my length or longer then they often act like they are in some kind of special "hair club" and the first rule of hair club is don't talk about hair club. This seems to make up roughly half of 'em. Weird ass hair club, I really can't stand them.
I'll tell you it was not like that in the 70's, we talked about growing our damn hair all the time. We compared lengths and were openly envious of anyone who we thought had cooler hair. Just like this board.
Paul
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My hair has drawn attention because it is super long. It reaches my knees as you can see in the photo. I have been stalked a few times, without any serious consequences. It certainly can be uncomfortable. The vast majority of stalkers are harmless. Some have stalked me by e-mail and one (that I know of) in person.
I remember an autistic guy who flew up to San Francisco from Los Angeles to one of our MLHH member longhair meets. He brought a camera, took lots of photos, and followed us around like a puppy dog. There is a possibility that he has a poster size print of me (a trophy) hanging on his wall at home by now. (He had a scrap book in his posession with photos of many of us.) There were maybe ten of us, so we split into two or three smaller groups. He then had to bounce around between the groups. It ruined his day a bit but made ours a whole lot better.
That guy at the supermarket may have found you attractive. There are a few gay longhairs out there, although probably 98% of gay men have short hair. In this situation, it is probably best to just politely tell him you are straight. Unless he is completely deranged, he will most likely leave and seek someone else.
Scott
Damn Scott! You're just a regular celebrity! Stalkers and everything!
Hey, am I going to be invited to the next MLHH meet? What's up? Send me a plane ticket. Uh... round trip, I'm poor. (jk)
Paul
I can see longhaired guys attracting attention in public for the simple fact that its an unusual sight for most people.I mean if you see a crowd of 50 guys and two have waist length longhair who do you think will draw the most attention initially?I don't mind being checked out in public as long as it doesn't appear threatening.Its actually kind of cool that people notice my hair as it means so much to me anyway:)Cheers
Mark
Sure, long hair is most definitely an attention-getter, --- unless, of course, you smear grimy motor oil in it (or any other unpleasant substance of some kind - LOL). ...That's one way to turn off a stalker!
In all seriousness, though, inappropriate behavior (like staring and stalking), whether gay or strait, is still inappropriate. The polite thing for an admiring person to do would be to speak directly to you and pay you an honest compliment; and then, after whatever conversation ensues, to simply move on...
However, the *real* solution to your dilemma is to simply age as quickly and as UNgracefully as possible. The last time I experienced a weird stalker I was giddy with both shock and delight, unable to stop laughing that he couldn't find any younger or better-looking victim to chase after!! So, take it from me, "the voice of experience": enjoy the attention while you're young and good-looking enough to get it (LOL)!!!!
- Ken in San Francisco
it's a small price to pay for being awesome
lol
ROFL! Awesome response!
Bill
I was eating alone at a restaurant during lunch, and the hostess stopped by my table, said how much she liked my hair and then asked if she could touch it. I'm rarely speechless, but I was then because I truly did not know how to respond. Not waiting for my response, she "petted" my hair anyway.
I've heard of this happening to people with dreadlocks or natural african hair, but it was a first for me.
I get alot of women wanting to feel my braids. Probably about twice a week, comments are just two many to count.
I was eating alone at a restaurant during lunch, and the hostess stopped by my table, said how much she liked my hair and then asked if she could touch it. I'm rarely speechless, but I was then because I truly did not know how to respond. Not waiting for my response, she "petted" my hair anyway.
I've heard of this happening to people with dreadlocks or natural african hair, but it was a first for me.
I've had women run their hands through mine without asking first. Once with my wife right beside me, weird. Lucky she isn't the jealous type.
Paul
One of my wife's friends has been known to run her hands through my hair unbidden, in front of my wife. I rather like it, but I wish my wife was more jealous, LOL!
The other night a street walker asked if she could run her hands through my hair! Probably just part of plying for trade, though.
I'd rather women paid me attention than not, although the professional threw me off balance a bit.
It might have been a laugh to quote her a price, but that could backfire in so many ways. No chance I'd do that.
Oh you could have worked out a trade! lol
Paul
Don't think my wife we be amused, though!
I get attention all the time, more due to my long beard or hippie clothing than due to my hair, but the feelings and responses are the same.
There are several categories of "interest takers", ranging from well-adjusted to ultra-creepy as one goes down the list:
1. Those who give you a brief and positive comment (or a gesture such as a thumbs up or peace sign). These people don't really want more than a "thank you" in some fashion. They actually do not want more. They likely have a fantasy about you, and the more you talk, the more you destroy it with different images.
2. Those who look at you for longer than usual but don't say anything. If they are smiling, I give a brief smile or nod back but nothing more. If they have no expression or a negative one, I look away and never look back at them.
3. People near you who say something negative. This is the point at which this list shifts to the realm of the socially dysfunctional. I totally ignore such people as if I didn't hear them. Since my hearing is very poor, I get lots of practice doing this inadvertently anyway, so I am skilled at this maneuver.
4. Those who yell stuff at you in a situation where you can't in any polite fashion say anything back. Like from passing motor vehicles. If I can tell it was negative, I ignore them totally. Otherwise I just throw them a peace sign, thumbs up, or some other gesture and then very soon look away and just go on about my business.
5. Those who appear to be following you. All animals in the wild are sometimes eaten by others, so all animals instinctively and immediately know when they are being stalked. The primeval fear of their victim of being attacked or eaten puts this at the bottom of this list. These creeps have a right to be in a public place, though, and they are well practiced at making excuses for their action consistent with "just being there" if confronted. Therefore, when you start to leave a public place is when you have to have a word with these people. Their intent is at that point no longer explainable away. You make it clear they will not be welcome following you any further while you are still in a public place where they won't have the protection of soon-to-occur privacy to do even more inappropriate things.
Whoa, Bill, I haven't been here in many many months (maybe around a year actually), and I am totally surprised to see how long your beard has become. How are you liking it?