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Shorthairs are not the only ones who have funny ideas about hair. As most of you know I live in Alabama, the older longhairs around here are usually the self titled 'river rats'. They're usually in their 50's or so. These guys can often be spotted with mid-back length hair or longer. Cool hair, ridiculous attitude. Aloof, you know. And man they act weird if you mention anything about hair.
I'm guessing this is just a local phenomenon cause the old farts here are pretty damn cool.
In contrast, the longhairs from my generation had no problem discussing our hair and how cool it was. I say 'was' because I am the only one left from any of my old groups of friends who still wears it long. I mean I run across somebody after 10 or 20 years and bamn! Buzz cut or some crap. And what do I hear from them, "If you ever cut it... blah, blah, blah,".
Maybe the river rats bizarro attitude had something to do with that, I don't know. What do y'all think?
So when I spot a younger longhair I try to at least acknowledge him. A nod maybe, a compliment if I have time. I want him to have a positive memory of meeting an older longhair, and possibly keep it growing. I am not ever going to act like them 'river rats'. Ugh.
How many others here take the time to recognize this younger generation of hair growers? Yes? No? Too awkward maybe?
It's something I've been wanting to ask for a while.
Paul
Good question Paul.
I see longhairs in my area all the time, young and old. It's refreshing to see. But mostly I think it would be somewhat awkward to strike up a conversation even though it'll cross my mind. There is one fellow that works at the local market that I talk to, but oddly the hair topic doesn't come up. May it will someday. I think if something was said negitively to someone with long hair, I would put my two cents in!
Bruce
Yeah Bruce, it does seem like there's more of us suddenly. It's cool ain't it?
I expect the "it's awkward" answer to be the prevailing answer.
If you ever do want to bring up the subject of "hair" I've found "So, how long have you been growing it?" well received.
Paul
Interesting topic Paul..
Here in the casual South West U.S., many of we oldsters (Desert Rats, which are, of course much more sophisticated than River Rats, HA!) have long hair and it is well accepted. I have made attempts to compliment some of the younger guys on their long hair and usually only get a shrug.....compliments to the "old farts" (...gasp ! I"m not one of THEM !!!) usually brings some sort of excuse ("...my wife likes it...", etc)
Thanks for the topic
Walter
The real world sure is strange isn't it Walter?
I have found the term "old fart" relative, to my younger friends I'm an old fart! lol. It's ok because they're whippersnappers!
Paul
Hi Paul,
What a great question, and I hope my answer will help!
Oddly enough, I try not to put too much emphasis on age differences, especially whenever speaking to strangers. If the longhair I happen to be speaking to brings the age topic up, I don't mind at all talking about it; but, otherwise, I know that age differences are always self-evident, --- so, I'd rather talk about whatevedr we have in common (even if it's just "hair" - LOL)....
An exception to the above is whenever I decide to joke about my age (like: "I'm 24, too, --- I just look like hell!"); or, in other instances, I might refer to how I wish I had grown my hair long when I was younger, because it was so much thicker & fuller back then.
I find that the trick to walking up to a total stranger in order to speak to them about their hair is a combination of several things working together:
1) the issue of friendliness & approachability (like: is their facial expression and general body language off-putting or welcoming?)
2) sufficient time (do they look like they're rushing around and in a hurry, or do they look relaxed like they're just "hanging out?")
3) using non-thretening and non-sexual wording (is what I'm about to say going to make them comfortable or UNcomfortable w/ me?)
I only speak to other fellow longhairs on the street, whether young or old, if I can think of an aapropriate and logical opening line. Here are a few I have used in the past that were successful conversation-starters:
"How many years did it take for you to get your hair that long?" (I usually only ask this question when I see a guy w/ longer hair than mine!)
"Don't ever cut that nice hair of yours short, --- I did in Y2K, and regretted it!"
"WOW, it's not all that often that I see another guy with hair as long as mine!"
"Great hair, --- just don't make the same mistake that I did once, when I cut it 9 years ago!"
"You look like you go to the same barber that I do!"
...Have fun, Paul!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Haha i really like that last one, thats pretty funny, i would share a good laugh with you if you used that one on me, i think im going to remember that one for my own personal use.
Hey Ken, Those are pretty cool.
I think I've used a version of the first, "How long have you been growing it?" and the last one (about the barber) exactly as you said it.
I've found the question "How long have you been growing it?" great to use for starting a conversation with almost any longhair. (Except river rats!)
It seems to immediately create a sense of familiarity and a smile.
Another on my favorites is "Are you planning to grow it on out?".
I agree completely with your three rules of approaching a 'brother in hair'!
Paul
A lot of guys ask me that, but about my beard, and they don't seem the least bit shy about asking it. I don't get that question about my hair much, although my beard and hair are about the same length. Also, many of those who ask me do not have a long beard, and some have no beard at all.
As for generations, I get asked by men of all ages. Hell, even two year olds take an interest, especially in December.
Bill
Well, its hard for me to talk to younger longhairs about it (im only 21), but some of my friends are longhairs. Well were anyways...two have since chopped the locks, now its only me and another friend (who is considering cutting his). Although if I ever have a son, I want him to grow out his hair as soon as possible, so he can be the cool kid in kindergarten, lol.
Damn right! That's what I said when I was younger and all my boys have longhair! Gotta raise 'em right!
I sure hope your friends never influence you my friend.
Paul
When I lived in Madison WI where longhairs were abundant no one acknowledged the other guys hair since so many had it. It would be like a buzzcut complimenting another buzzcut. There were so many of them. Up here in Fond du lac they are few and far between and I still don't mention it. Not that it seems awkward we just don't do it. As for me a middle aged guy complimenting a young dudes hair that has a significant weird factor to it.
Maybe it's just me but I don't comment on people appearance which includes their hair.
Kevin
Well gee prez, ain't that just a bucket of ice water?
I've been called weird before but not like that, lol. I sure a few fellows here might like young dudes with longhair. Not me, but I seem to remember some that do.
What I think is truly weird is ignoring the elephant in the room. A town full of longhairs and no one ever said anything about hair? No tips on haircare, no bitching about rude remarks? Come on!
I don't think hair is significant enough to not comment on. Never mentioning it attaches a taboo. I like to talk about hair because it takes away the 'mystique' which I have always thought is a load of crap. It's just hair. I love it but really, it's just hair. Think about people with tats, I've never got a weird look from saying, "Nice ink man!" What's the differance?
Oh and Kevin, I have heard buzz heads comment on each others hair.
Some people, shorthair or longhair, take hair way too seriously. It must mean something to them that I just don't get. I guess the reason I posted this is to try and find out what it means to other longhairs.
Everyone who knows me knows they can 'comment' on my hair anytime. They do so sometimes just to see what I've got for them this time. My hair is a subject for conversation which makes it a non-issue. That's the way I want it.
What does your hair mean to you Kevin? Just asking.
Paul
It keeps his ears and head warm in those harsh WI winters!
And the ones I shed I spun into yarn and knit myself a sweater and mittens to keep the rest of me warm.
After I measured them of course, but I won't say how long
because I'm too modest.
LOL
I'm kind of shy really, so unless I already know someone, I probably am not going to strike up a conversation with someone at random - about anything.
A friend of a friend who I also became friends with who used to come hang out in my office had long hair. This guy's hair was literally the envy of everyone, girls included. He's about ten years younger than me. His hair was really like a shampoo commercial. One day, we had a hair conversation. He actually envied my curls while I was saying how nice it must be to have straight blond hair. He cut it a few months back, but that's another story.
Concerning another long-haired friend, we've never mentioned the topic. He has much better hair than me anyway.
The most forward I'd be would just be a "Cool hair!" to a relatively random person though.
Yeah, being shy's a bitch. I know because in high school I was one of those 'invisible' people. Practically a basket case. But the army and Jack Daniels took care of all that!
On occasion I still do get a case of butter flies in my stomach. It happened yesterday at work, I'm having lunch with my boss, her boss and several other workers. All of a sudden I'm sitting there and can't think of anything to say. Weird, I usually the one cracking jokes and stuff.
I already know most everybody here don't say much in real life about hair to anybody, including other longhairs. I wanted to see what kind of responses I would get, shed some light on the different attitudes about hair... among the hairy.
I think talking about it makes it less an issue for those who don't "get us". In ancient cultures the unspoken subjects were those marked "taboo". I stomp on this "hair taboo" every chance I get.
If I'm talking to a short hair and I notice them looking at my hair, I'll mention it. Usually something like, "Yeah... I've been thinking about growing my hair out." They usually seem relieved that I mentioned it and the irony of it always causes a chuckle. Then it's not an issue and they stop staring at it. All of a sudden it's ok.
Here's the thing that puzzles, the shorter the hair the more they're willing to talk about hair. I've met a few longhairs around here that like to talk about hair but not many. Most of 'em just say a couple of things and change the subject. I'm snickering under my breath. It's almost like, if they talk about it too much somebody will make them cut it! "Shhhh! Man... ain't nobody noticed I got longhair, shut up." LOL.
Paul
I was once complimented on my long hair by an older Long Hair (I'm 22, think he was 40-ish). Personally, I thought he was very nice and I gained a great memory from the experience. Always nice to be complemented on something you spent time accomplishing, especially when you have negative people in your life.
Thank you Drood, that is the point I'm trying to make. Although a younger person may not seem to acknowledge the compliment, he will remember it and possibly feel inspired by it.
The younger crowd seems to get a lot of crap about their hair, I want to let them know that I appreciate them carrying on our "tradition".
Paul