new thread
Twice in my lifetime I’ve been a 'longhair.' Once many years ago and then again from 2002 to the present.
The very odd thing about it is that my first 'journey' must have been so unremarkable that I can hardly remember a single thing about the entire experience except for the fact that, quite frequently, I was a target of many nasty glares—and for no other reason than for what my long hair represented to others.
Years later things were quite the reverse: every week and every month of hair growth was burned into my memory forever, and the ‘journey’ consisted mainly of trying to tame and control my beastly mane. And that was followed by the doubt and awful indecision of whether or not I was doing what was right for me. I was miserable.
And now, seven years into the longhair journey all of that negative stuff seems so far removed from me. I now have no doubt that long hair is a part of who I am; the very thought of cutting it seems foreign and unnatural to me. I feel comfortable and happy
with the length of my still increasing length.
Finally I would like to say that a very important part of being a longhaired man is getting
”used to it.” By that I mean so many things from almost funny things like keeping your hair out of your food to the more serious things like not getting it caught somewhere or worse. How long does it take before a man (growing for the first time) gets “used” to having long hair. I say FIVE YEARS.
But even then, a man will never get as “used” to his hair as a woman does (unless he has had long hair since boyhood). You may disagree with me. That’s fine as I am always open to hearing the opinions and arguments of others.
Thanks for reading
This is a great read and a very interesting story, Luckskind, --- many thanks for sharing your insights!
I never had thought about it before, but "getting used to it" long can indeed be a mental process and psychological adjustment that can take awhile. In hindsight, my own process of growing my hair out the first time (during the '90s) was not complete until I experienced my devastating haircut of Y2K, --- because it was only AFTER that horribly short haircut that I fully realized that I needed to be a longhair for life, and that I had to make a *commitment* to myself to never do such an impulsive thing like that ever again. I had been growing my hair out for 9 years... and it only took less than one hour to see it all cut away!!!
Prior to that Y2K haircut, a lot of my dad's brain-washed type of thinking (AKA my short-haired childhood & upbringing) kept re-playing in my mind that I was only "temporarily" growing my hair out, --- and that I would of course, "go back to normal" (AKA go back to short hair) someday... Well, that haircut was my "wake-up call" that forced me into letting go of that negative way of thinking about long hair on myself (as well as eliminating forever viewing other longhairs in the same or similar negative way, for that matter, too)!!
It's interesting how long hair back during the '60s and early '70s was more or less heavily viewed as, "making a political statement"; but, that was not my main attraction or interest in long hair then, any more than it is my thoughts about it now.... I like long hair because I like long hair. Period! ...OK, I need to be more honest: I love love LOVE long hair, --- always have, and always will (I even remember crying and screaming during my first time in the barber's chair when I was only about 3 years old)!!!! It took YEARS for my military-loving father to brain-wash me into accepting his short-haired outlook on life and manhood, --- so, why the heck wouldn't it also take some years for me to work at "de-programming" myself back into fully accepting and being the longhair that I naturally have always wanted to be?
Again, thanks, Luskskind, for this very insightful and inspiring thread, --- I think we're on the same "wave-length" (no pun intended _ LOL)!!
- Ken in SF
Good post, Ken. For some reason, it reminded me of a passage I read a while back in Barry Strauss' book, The Trojan War. He talks a lot about Troy and how besides the influence of Greek culture, there was a large Hittite influence since their kingdoms were to the east of Troy. Anyhow, he relates a story about two Hittite generals who had not carried out their king's orders as he had intended. When they finally had to go before their king and make reckoning, they got in even more trouble because they didn't cry before him! Further, Aeneas, the hero of the Aeneid who founded the nation that would be Rome cries all the time. It just goes to show how societal programming is so different now and how our definition of "manhood" doesn't always mean what we think it does. It's great though that you have deprogrammed yourself, as it were. This is something lots of us need to do, and even when we think we've done it, it still may not have been truly done.
MB
Yes, yes those lovely Indo-European Hittites. Strange lot, did you know they shaved their beards, mustaches and eyebrows? Good grief, lol.
Just a bit of trivia for you Matt.
Paul
Thanks, Paul. I love trivia. The book didn't mention that part. It does sound strange to do that to us today, but I bet they'd be appalled at some of the things we do too. I imagine all that shaving wasn't too pleasant as all they had were bronze implements.
The Hittites however did grow long hair. The Egyptians called them "women warriors."
Thanks so much for your follow-up comments, Matt! Yes, the popular culture and general state of mind that we are surrounded by in our society of the day often determines too much of how we think and act ourselves, --- even if we intuitively feel differently than most of those people that we are surrounded by. Breaking the chains of our own self-imposed limitations is harder when we have been severely "brain-washed" by friends and/or relatives ever since early childhood, --- whether we are just talking about men's long hair length issues, or talking about many other "taboos" that society tries to tell us is not "normal" for us to do...
If we feel our best and our happiest doing something-or-other (like growing our hair long, for example), --- even if we are going against the wishes of friends and/or family who vehemently think we shouldn't do such-and-such --- as long as we are not hurting another person by following our own heart, we must learn to do it (regardless of the criticism that may ensue)... If we don't, then we are not being true to our own selves, and consequently not standing up for what is also right for others as well.
Thanks again for your input, Matt!
- Ken
---------------------------------------------------
It is interesting that you thought of that song, it plays in my head during my bike rides on twisty mountain roads.
Your hair looks good in your avatar photo. Your tail is nice and thick. How long is it? I am guessing it is past your waist. I would love to see a current photo.
I am very comfortable with my hair. Long is totally normal to me. When it reached the middle of my back, it felt normal. That was at maybe 2 to 3 years. It now reaches my knees. I have been growing it since 1992.
Scott
Your statement below is probably true. I have noticed friends' little girls who have long hair at say, two years old. It's all they ever know, thus the are "used" to it. It is very different for an adult guy though: so many new things come along with growing and keeping one's hair long that it does take a few years to become accustomed to it.
I first started growing mine at 15, ever so long ago, in the early 1970's, and it's never really been short since then, although I've grown it in fits and starts, often having far too much cut off, not reaching 'real' long hair as opposed to a shoulder length shag for many years. I spent far more time at each stage than most of you have.
I suppose it's all relative, but for me there's no way that short hair could ever feel normal anymore.
I suppose there are little girls who have long hair at age two, but actually a lot less than you might think. As a parent, and having compared notes with other parents, very small children often grow hair very slowly, and often only have a curly mop at that age even when it's never been cut.
I NEVER felt normal with short hair. I always hated haircuts but only had them to blend in as camoflage. Only now with shoulder length hair am I beginning to feel normal because having Long hair is a part of my identity. Pity it took me 39 years to get to this stage. Now I only have to get used to having longer hair and enjoy the pros and cons of it.
Interesting story.
I think you may be on to something when you said it takes males longer to get used to longhair than females (due to social conditioning alone, I might add).
I hated haircuts as far back as I can remember and I was finally "allowed" to grow it in the 7th grade after a lot of bitching.
I don't remember having to get used to it then but I do remember a bit of a hard time growing it back after 4 years of being in the army.
But my sons are already used to their longhair since they have always wore it long. A bit of "reverse conditioning", I guess.
Paul
yeah, I never had do deal with getting used to it. My parents kept my hair about shoulder length when i was a kid. And my hair has atleast been 4-5 inches long my whole life.
I have seen friends that grow their hair out and have to get used to it, and it always seems odd to me that they dont know what to do because I have always had it.
I guess I would be in Category B then...
My hair has been at least longish since my teens, and the "last haircut" was more than 20 years ago now.
I'd disagree somewhat about women being more used to long hair, although they may be more used to having it long sometimes, and growing out and cutting it off. Or, I guess, I look at it as proportionally long hair...woman to midback, man to shoulder type of thing.
The physical adjustment to long hair is dependent on growth. So long as the length is changing significantly, the adjustment phase will continue, as different issues pop up with the length. The mental adjustment is probably pretty dependent on the person, but yes, years to change from short hair to growing out to settled longhair.
Good to hear from you Luckskind, A ggod read.
I think in some regard I got used to long hair easily and quickly, but aspects I'm still just "used to". Who knows, maybe 5 years is right. I can't wait to find out.
Bruce
Luckskind wrote:
"Finally I would like to say that a very important part of being a longhaired man is getting
”used to it.” By that I mean so many things from almost funny things like keeping your hair out of your food to the more serious things like not getting it caught somewhere or worse. How long does it take before a man (growing for the first time) gets “used” to having long hair. I say FIVE YEARS."
I know what you mean. It has been three and a a half years and I am still getting used to it, though much less so these days.
Thanks for sharing your perspective!
-Shawn (Mr.Crow)