new thread
Hey guys, some of you might have seen me, but most of you probably haven't. I'm new so it's not because you're getting older. :-) Anyway, my mom wants me to get 1 haircut at the end of August and that's it. No more nagging, no more nothing. I've been thinking about it and I could A) Comply and continue living life or B) Refuse the haircut and accept whatever disciplinary action she throws at me. I've been leaning towards B but I was wondering whether you guys think 1 haircut is worth fighting tooth and nail. At this point, I feel like getting a cut would be like getting castrated, so you'd have a tough time talking me out of it. Thanks in advance for your advice. :-D
Chris C.
Chris, you answered your own question and I totally agree to go with Plan B!You might think oh well whats wrong with only one cut to smooth things over but you know what will happen as I can hear it now."OH Chris,that one hair cut made you look much better that I think you should have one every month."Yup, they are never satisfied with one so they try and trap you by making you think if you give in only this once all will be well.So I guess you can see that I'm a big fan of B my friend!Cheers and good luck.
Mark
I see what you mean, that's exactly what my mom would say! I guess great minds think alike! :-D
Chris
If your mom is really concerned about Domestic Tranquility, she would probably just accept that this is something you find Tranquil, which will ultimately cause the domestic household to also become more tranquil.
Unless you hair is one of the many sources of Lovecraftian evil, and by growing it out you open a dark seal promoting the onslaught of decay and darkness that then spills out onto the planet, destroying everything in the known world, with it's frothy and vile, plague stricken viciousness...then you should definately cut it...in fact shave it right off!
If you read the above and find that crazy...then you understand that cutting your hair to promote a peaceful co-existance with your family would be just as barmy!
Cheers M8
Doug
I think that's what my mom thinks I'm growing my hair for. *sigh*
Oh...Well. *Stunned* I guess you should just do whats right for you then. Although...if my hair was a portal to oblivion, Id figure out how to harness that might!
I am kind of, somewhat, maybe, perhaps going through the same thing at my house. It's been eight months since my last haircut and my decision to grow out. The reason I say kind of, somewhat, maybe, perhaps, is that my mom just says it now and again in a completely friendly manner. I'm glad my mother is really open minded like that. Needless to say, I didn't cut it yet, and probably won't, (as logically it extends the awkward period). And, besides, I don't care if it looks like a mullet. I hide the mullet-look well and usually have my hair slicked back. But, in that situation, I asked myself what was more beneficial. Domestic tranquility or inner tranquility?
I came to the conclusion that I don't change for anybody. :)
My two cents...hope they help!
I would definately go with plan B. IF you get this one, that shows that you wil probably cave in the future and she will keep asking until you cut it. There is no "just this one". Since last June my grandpa keeps telling me i would look better with a haircut, and I've figured out it usually works if you just totally ignore the comment.
Also, I used this to get my mom to stop bothering me. If you really want to just piss her off and get her off your back for nagging you; go into the haircut, and convince the barber to take next to nothing off. You wont loose any length, and she wasted money on nothing. Hopefully she'll get the message. It's kinda mean, but I did what had to be done.
it is
exactly
Hope I helped
~Jarvis~
As a teenager, I used to do everything to delay between haircuts, and always tried to get almost nothing taken off if I could. Nothing bad ever came of that, and unless you have crazy parents, it shouldn't.
The only word of caution, though, is never have a parent present in the salon with you when your hair is being cut. One word exchanged between them and the stylist is one word too many. In fact, even if they only talk to you the stylist will be aware that they are the one paying, and may try to please them by taking a little too much off. You don't want any of that. Do whatever you have to do to make sure you're in there on your own.
Hi Chris,
I wish I could say with 100% confidence that "Plan B" is your guaranteed correct choice; but, unfortunately, life is more complex than that...
I need to ask you a few questions, first:
Q. #1: Do you still live at home with your parents still fully financially supporting you?
Q. #2: Are you planning on going to college, --- and, if so, would your parents deny you the $$ to continue on with your education if you don't cooperate with their request that you cut your hair?
Q. #3: To what degree are your parnets unyeildingly stubborn and closed-minded / bigoted towards long hair on males, --- or, conversely, to what degree are your parents usually REASONABLE and generally loving and caring people?
I speak from experience re. this issue, because when I was age 18, I had to leave my father's house and go into the workforce full-time at that age in order to free myself of his unfair household rules. But, I had to fully support myself financially in order to succeed at that, --- because if I hadn't, my dad would have still had his unreasonable contrtol and abusive behavior over me, (including the fact that he absolutely FORBID me or my brothers to have even the slightest amount of long hair in his house. This decision cost me my college education (I was only able to attend one year at my college of choice), --- something that I often think about wishing I had completed!
Hair was not the only issue in my decision to leave home at that age (an ugly family divorce was also part of the scene going on back then); but, it was "the straw that broke the camel's back", --- and symbolized freedom to me at the time.
Although I never got to grow my hair out "super-long" during my late teens or even into my 20s or 30s (due to my jobs' dress code restrictions at the time), I at least got to grow my hair out to "longISH" It wasn't until I turned 40 that I had my first ponytail; but, thank goodness, times have changed since then!
Only YOU can answer your own question, because only you know all of the smaller details to have to consider. I totally understand your feeling of worrying about feeling "castrated" if you give into your parent's wishes that you cut your hair short, though... Have you considered talking very honestly & directly with them about how strongly you feel about your hair? If they are reasonable people and good listeners, speaking from the heart can sometimes make all the difference in the world to help open up a parent's mind about things like this. My dad was NOT a reasonable man, though, --- so, I understand if you feel like talking to them is not a realistic option.
Your best bet, in my opinion, --- and not knowing all the details myself about your exact set of circumstances --- is to do the following: concentrate 100% on doing the very best that you can in your schoolwork and in getting excellent grades. If you do that, you'll be in the best sort of "win-win" situation, because most likely your parents won't care one hoot about your hair length anymore, --- and, even if they are foolish enough to still make it an issue, at least you'll still have the opportunity to go off to college, anyway. You'll have more money-earning power as an adult by getting that college degree, because usually you can get the better-paying jobs if that piece of paper is in your hot little hands. And once you arre financially out on your own and able to rent or buy your own place, then NOBODY has the right to tell you what to do about your hair anymore!!!
I hope that my "old geezer" perspective has helped you get some insights here (LOL)!!
Take care, --- and good luck!
- Ken in San Francisco
(snipped)
What he said!
My mom never liked long hair...indeed, one of the reasons I started growing it long is that it pissed her off...but she never tried to lay down the law on it...figuring that hair was essentially "small potatoes" and not worth a real fight.
Anyway, it is your decision...perhaps try to find out why she doesn't like it and what the repercussions are likely to be?
1) Yes, but I'm a minor, so I don't have much of a choice.
2) I do, but I doubt that they'd refuse to help me with college financially. My family values education very highly.
3) They're usually very reasonable people. In fact, my dad gave me permission to grow it out, but that doesn't mean anything in my mom's book.
I guess I'll show Mom how much it means to me. Thanks for the response. :-)
Chris
I agree with the Jarvis, Hairball, and Tony: Cutting your hair will show compliance and ultimately may give her more incentive to exert more of her "influence." Having short hair throughout history has been a symbol of subservience. It is ironic that it is expected of men today to cut their hair when we don't like to compare our society to feudalism. My opinion is that you should declare your freedom bro, and go with plan B.
I'd say B,refuse the haircut and accept whatever disciplinary action she'll do. I doubt she'll do anything bad anyway.
How long is your hair anyway? Post a pic! :P I'd like to see it.
Here's a link to the update I posted.
I like how the "short hair" imposers use the idea "I'll respect you more if you cut it" when it's absolutely indiscernible whether or not they will respect you at all - as it is related to the future, and nothing can be guaranteed for the period which hasn't even come! To put it short - don't trust what you have no evidence for.
And yes, I too suggest you go for the plan B.
Maybe it's time to demonstrate that your old enough to make a few decisions on your own.
It seems to me that your mom knows this and she is trying to wield control over you one final time. I suggest sitting down with her and talking about what your hair means to you. It must mean something very different to her since she is so set against it. Let her know she's not seeing things in the same light as you and you're not wearing it long to "defy" or "rebel". It's just a hair style.
Paul