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I've been growing my hair for almost a year now and still family members and friends will not let up on my hair. We can never have a normal conversation without the topic of my hair popping up. It's getting really annoying, you would think people would get it by now and stop trying to discourage me talk me into cutting my hair. I told them i'm in the "inbetween stage" and it will eventually look better. Think hair will go from short to really long over night, I keep telling them it takes time. Being a long hair, will this ever stop?
Not as long as you let them get away with it. Why do you spend time with people who annoy you?
Well, they happen to be family.
Yes and no...It took years for my family "to let it go" but not before they yelled and screamed about it and at a few points they offered me cash to cut it off. but over time they did and a few of them liked it long and asked why I didnt grow it out sooner.
the "no" at some point you'll run into someone you know but havent seen in a long time or dont see often and it will come up but this is just like anything else thats "different" about you from the last they saw you. also the ramdom strangers... some will say something or give you a dirty look but this is something you will have to deal with.
this is the price for being who you are and not what everybody else wants you be and look like. Its a question of self-respect or how some may say "a test of will". If you choose to be ture to yourself and persevere(unlike most people)it can be its own reward.
Mike
Haven't been offered cash yet but they somtimes joking threat to cut it off. It's been such a battle growing hair long, hopefully the next years will be better than the first.
It won't ever stop but it will lessen. You have to let them wear themselves down.
Start with "yeah, whatever!" and change the subject.
If that don't work hell, start an argument if you have to, each and every time they pop off something about your hair.
Then if that don't work, just get up and leave when they start running their mouths. They will eventually have to respect your decision or they just have to miss you.
Good luck,
Paul
I've found that last bit to be very effective. If they want to have a conversation with you they will quickly learn that verbal attacks on your hair means that your done talking with them.
Daniel
Hi MattyG,
It's unfortunate that the "awkward stage" is bad enough on its own to have to deal with while looking in the mirror; but, also that the early stages of growing one's hair out also happens to be the time when others around you are trying their damndest to convince you to cut, happens to unfortunately be a fact at this time, too. The people that are trying to convince you to cut the most right now are probably secretly scared that they will lose the person that they used to know and love, simply because they will be forced to have to look at you with no longer having short hair anymore.
Rest assured: there IS, "light at the end of the tunnel!" Once your hair gets to ponytail length, usually about 90% of the people who are now annoying you will have given up by then. (Whether they view you by then as a "lost cause", or whether they have simply just given up out of their own exhaustion, doesn't really matter, --- as long as they've accepted who you are and want to be by then, you've won not only the battle; but, the war of wills will then finally be over...)
If there still remains the approx. 10% of people who STILL want to annoy you and nag you about your long hair... then quite frankly, my recommendation is to simply DUMP those that are still claiming to be your "friends"... They don't deserve your company! And as far as family goes: visit them as INfrequently as you can possibly get away with! Become so scarce, in fact, that they even might happen to forget that your hair is actually long, or that you have any hair at all.... That way, by the time you decide to come home for that rare Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday meal, thay'll be so happy to finally see YOU that they'll no longer care how you look.
And if they DO happen to bring the hair subject up, try this:
(First, let out a Big YAWWWN, wildly shaking your long hair loose to look as annoyingly rebelious as possible) "What? I'm not sure I heard anything worth discussing... Time for me to go now, anyway, --- thanks so much for the nice visit, and looking forward to seeing you next year!"
- Ken in San Francisco
Thanks for the reply.I like the big yawn idea. I'm about 4 months shy of a ponytail and can't wait to pull it back. I feel like i'm comming near the home strech. I hope they lighten up a bit when i'm able to wear it back because right now I wear it down and my bangs are in my mouth and the back is just touching the shoulders.
I think I look better with long hair and the people around me forgot what I use to look like and vision me in thier head looking way better than I ever did. When i'm able to wear a ponytail, i'll say "see this is what I look like with short hair again"....
"Servility is alien to the philosophy ... The element of philosophy is freedom, not necessity ... Philosophy is creation, not accomodation and obedience."
Nikolay Berdyaev
"Psychologically observed, the voice of God has no other manifestation in time but the opinion that a man has of himself."
Karl Jaspers
"O will! you, change of every necessity, you necessity of MINE! Save me for a grand victory."
Nietzsche
"For the licentious youth with vivacity and spirit will still, at one point, come out on the right path and be great and competent people, but the reluctant, scary and weak persons and depressed spirits will hardly ever arise and achieve a success in life."
John Locke
My brother-in-law use to rag me about my hair, so my come back to him was "that's anotnher 3 months with no cuts", so everytime he'd say something, I'd throw that back at him. Well his comments stop almost a year now, till yesterday as I was getting ready to go to Church. While I was waiting for my sister to ponytail my hair (I'm disabled and can't do it myself) he said "if you cut it you'd wouldn't have to wait for her", my come back was "if you were 20yrs. younger and 100 lbs. lighter, you'd feel better too!" He had wore himself out yard working the day before and was complaining of back pain.
Look back at PaulKMF posts, he has some good comeback line if you need them.
Frank
n/t
Some good retorts LOL
Birdman
Oh yeah I remember those XD Nice work Paul!
I said n/t
>:(
My God, now that's being annoying and not letting things go!
I think they should worry about much important things than your hair wich is YOURS and not theirs. I think you should talk to them and make them realize there's much more important things they should worry about...like, don't they have a job, don't they have to pay bills and such?
-Andrea
It is YOUR hair. Don't worry whether they let up or not...
Just think... intwo years when your maine is longer and awesomer they'd probably given up by then and will actually be complimenting you!
You need to stop hanging with Neanderthals. If your friends can't deal with long hair on men in this day and age then you're hanging with the wrong crowd. Long hair on men was controversial during the Vietnam war which was 40 years ago. In the meantime long hair on men has become accepted in most circles if not exactly commonplace. It's time to find friends who are less narrowminded.
Your parents are living in a bygone era. I don't understand what turns otherwise normal people into abject jerks when they have kids.
I never found sharp retorts to be effective in dealing with morons because they just continue being morons. Sorry I can't be more encouraging.
True, I know a lot of people that were cool but as soon as they had kids they cut their hair and expected the same from their kids.
Ex cool generation that is.
Man! You ain't lying!!! This is one of the things in life that completely mystify me.
Of the people I went to school with I stand alone as being the one who still wears his hair long. I guess I was the only one who wasn't joking.
It meant something then and it still does.
Paul
Hi Bob,
I made that retort list mainly for popping off at friends and co-workers, used mainly for a laugh. A good burn is always fun.
I do agree that morons will probably continue to be morons but putting them in their place is very enjoyable. I believe that
any reply shows them that they can no longer get away with it. If you actually embarrass them, they may think twice before confronting someone else about their hair style. So, you see, when I pop off at some moron, I'm not doing it for "me" so much, I'm doing it for you, my longhaired brother. Lol
One of the reasons I keep my hair is that it serves as an "idiot filter". Idiots might give me the evil eye or make some snide remark so it makes them more identifiable. Then you can; A-avoid them, B-harass them for being stupid or C-punch them in the nose.
I can't ever seem to stick to A, B is so much more fun. C might be jail time so it's best to do that as a last resort.
Btw, don't knock Neanderthals, they probably had some seriously long manes! :-)
Paul
I conquered this one long, long ago. People (usually family members or coworkers) who don't like your hairstyle (or other aspects of your appearance) love and will always try to get into conversations that will allow them to debate about it with them. You will never win this debate-- nor will they. The answer is not to participate. They can't have a one sided debate. If they say "it sure is getting long back there", say nothing in response and proceed to whatever else you're doing or need to discuss. Leave the room if they persist. They'll learn it gets them nowhere and give up eventually.
So instead of defending yourself go on the assault. Nag them for being so narrow minded and intolerant. Tell them because of people like them the dark ages lasted a thousand years.
Don't be mean spirited or too sarcastic measure your response but push back and make them defend themselves.
Kevin
there is nothing here for you to see, Im serious, go away.