new thread
"Anyway, Ann Lander's comment: I guess there are some things parents never get used to. If that is Mom's only complaint about her son, She is lucky."
If that is Mom's only complaint about her son she is still rude and intrusive!
I've had long hair since 1977. I was fortunate to grow up when having long hair was cool. These days, boys all seem to have really short hair. Starting in about '76, it was nothing but growing it out for me. Back in my school days, long hair ROCKED!
My mother griped then, griped all through high school, and never quit. She even threatened to not attend my high school graduation if I wouldn't cut it. I didn't cut it. I told her it didn't really matter if she went or not.
Here I am now at 39, having had long hair for 25 years, and my mother STILL whines about it. In the meantime, she's had friends with good ol' short haircts that have comitted suicide by playing Russian Roulette; one that got addictde to crack and lost his job, marriage, and everything else; another in jail for burglarizing his own parents' home; another that "borrowed" mom and dad's car, wrecked it, then stole their checkbook to pay for the damage. Me? Went to college, got my bachelors and masters degrees, and have never been in trouble. But to her, I'm a loser because I have long hair.
Imagine that!
Rokker wrote in part:
Rokker: Your mom doesn't think you're a loser because you have long hair; she's just annoyed because you haven't done as she's told you. When you are 80 years old and she's over 100 (if you're both lucky), she'll still be the mom and you'll still be the kid. But it's not just moms who do this. The biggest disagreements I've had with my wife of 30 years have had to do with MY appearance. When I shaved off my beard she scarcely spoke to me for two weeks. When my mustache went, it was the same thing. Every time I trim my eyebrows, she acts as if I've snuck off to Europe for a sex change. For the record, my beard went gray, my mustache was just annoying to me, and if unkempt, my brows have me looking like Andy Rooney -- and I ain't *that* old.
My theory is that many women feel they know more about how you should look than you do, and making sure you look that way could amount to compensating for her perceived powerlessness in other parts of the relationship -- whether real or not. On the other hand, like most men who have managed to STAY married for a while, I know better than to tell HER what to wear, how to do her hair, or issue anything but compliments about her efforts at grooming. Hmmm. Just occurs to me I probably should have made this "anonymous." Oh well.
......JP in San Diego.
from what i hear, people seem to get lots of complaints, especially from family. however, my mother is quite nice and tells me how much she wishes she had hair as thick as mine (hers is quite longer than mine), and how lovely it is, and she will "massage" it and braid it. anyway, i am glad she appreciates it. and i appreciate hers too. :)
Using her own argument presumably she must think that all girls with short hair look like boys ?
Equality is a one way street again....
I've noticed 'equality' taking quite a bend towards the female side lately. Have you noticed it's OK to say nasty jokes about men? Or the degrading way we're potrayed in beer commercials? Are you a sex-crazed, beer-chugging sports-lover who gladly drops his wife for the favor of a bar and has to be rescued from shopping? I find such commercials VERY offensive. Men on TV are idiots, and I'm really not happy with that. Not all of us are crass jerks, just like all women aren't nagging harridans (just most of them *lol*. Just kidding) It's in the legal system as well...even if the mother is grossly unsuitable for owndership of children in a divirce, she often gets them (it's happened to a relative of mine). As a practicing Pagan, I try and stress total gender balance, but the world is making it quite hard. Oiya...Oh well. 'Pa is boss, as everyone knows, but what Ma says always goes'. That's on a little plaque in my grandma's kitchen, and it's the best piece of advice I've ever seen.
my mom and dad hate my long hair, the thing that makes them different then most other parents are they respect my choices in how i whant to present myself to others, they let me peirce my ear twice and even let me get a small tattoo, could have got a bigger tattoo but was scared to death of the pain (dont tell no one though). I think that most parents just whant to have that over powermeant feeling when there kids are still not just 18 or out of there house, like my friends mom wont let my friend get any othere hair cut then this same short hair cutt he got since he was like 4, he even wanted to get it totally shaved off but she wouldent let that one either. So i guess parents are all kinda different in way but I know my parents are different in a ok way to me.