new thread
As long as I can remember I've wanted long hair, but it was more of a "that would be cool" thing where I never considered the details such as how much work would be involved, my personality, hair type, and so on. When I was in high school I let it grow and cut it out of frustration not long after getting into the awkward stage. So I recently started conducting a growth experiment because my new (at the time) job allowed me to wear a hat.
I'm around my 22nd/23rd month of growing, and I haven't had a trim in over a year. My hair is currently just below shoulder length (thick, fine, and curly) and I can wear it in a short tail (which is good, because that has kept me going).
Now I'm seriously considering going back to my old style, which was about two or three clipper settings shy of a buzz cut. Here's my reasoning:
Short Hair Pros: Super easy maintenance, I like the look.
Short Hair Cons: No styling options other than a hat.
Long Hair Pros: Plenty of styling options, I like the look (when I can get it the way I want).
Long Hair Cons: Maintenance, shedding, tangles, always worrying about how it looks, the look changes throughout the day.
I have an obsessive personality, so hair with a life of its own is frustrating at best. As such, my styling options thus far have been limited to containing my hair with a hat and, more recently, putting it in a tail. In other words, I've been wearing a hat for the last two years and I would have cut it months ago if it weren't long enough to tie back. ;)
When I think about it, short hair as more pros and fewer cons, which should make the decision trivial from a logic standpoint. But I'm still hanging on and delaying running off to my barber. One thing that bothers me is I might be afraid to take the plunge because of the relatively massive amount of time and effort I've put into getting it long. If that's the case, there's no issue, but I don't want to get it hacked off and then regret it for other reasons.
Ultimately I'll make my own decision, but some opinions from those who have come before would be helpful. I'm not sure I've got the mindset to be a long-term longhair, and if I end this growing experiment, there won't be another. I've already decided that I don't like long hair enough to go through the awkward stage again. ;)
Thanks!
When I think about it, short hair has more pros and fewer cons
You're making this statement at a long hair board! Most of us here are not going to agree with your assumption - at all! If long hair means so little to you then why did you even bother growing it?
I never expected anyone to agree with my current conclusions, nor did I intend to present them as universal truths (if you read them that way, I apologize). Though I did kind of expect the folks on a long hair board to understand the dilemma and help a peer get through it for better or worse. That appears to have been an unwarranted assumption for the most part.
Clearly if I didn't care about long hair I wouldn't have gone out of my way to invest years in acquiring it, and I certainly wouldn't be on this board.
*sigh* How quickly I've become an outcast for having doubts. ;)
I think you have to feel being a longhair within you. I've always wanted long hair, admired others before me for growing long hair in spite of what critics would say, I love how long hair feels, at anytime, even when I'm combing the tangles out. If I had to cut my hair for some un-godly reason, I would go through and even relish the awkward stage again. I've always been a longhair, in earlier times, only within.
If you don't feel at least some of that and "super easy maintenance" is important to you, then go head and cut it. Bottom line is that you have to make youhappy. No one else.
Bruce
Having cut my long hair off twice, I've learned that I really would rather deal with the maintence and other issues of long hair. I can look good with both styles, and I've weighed the pros and cons many times. For me I know I prefer long hair and will probably never cut it again. For you however I don't know. Of course most people on this board are pro long hair and will probably either reccomend that you keep it, or apply the two week (or even better 'one month') rule. Though like you said ultimately it is your decision. Good luck with your choice I hope you're happy with whatever you decide.
CJ
Well. Im not gonna jump on you. I rarely post these days due to work schedule and such.
Issue you are having is the same issue most men have when they grow their hair long. I can give you about the same pros as cons to having long or short hair.
When you are an obsessive person (I know..I am one) it's easy to convince yourself of anything, if you at any point feel uncomfortable about how something looks or how something feels. Especialy when you are leaving your "Comfort zone" and the zones of others.
I am growing mine out. Half the time I love it, and half the time I want to buzz it off and start over. Not because the hair looks bad, but because an obessive person becomes more obsessed when they believe someone else is stareing at them.
Truthfully, I think you have made your decision. Half the people here will tell you that it's less maintenance to have long hair than short. Clippering my hair down to a 2 every week was annoying, as or more messy than shedding, and we can all use hats as styling products.
Overall, your call. It personaly does not matter to me if you cut it off, or leave it there.
Better yet, just shave it all off. Having long hair takes dedication, will, desire and character to be a longhair for long. If any one of those qualities are missing then you will not be happy with yourself no matter how long or how short your hair is. Yes, I am in fact suggesting that the issue really doesn't have anything to do with your hair, it is just an easy target. If you cut off your hair and still are not happy, then what?
For me personally I know of no cons to having long hair, only pros. Long hair aside, I am a quite happy person and my hair is just an expression of that.
Daniel
...there must be a new soap in town!
It's called: "AS THE WORLD SNIPS." Brought to you all by "Salon de la hack." (Sniping away since 1955.)
You will regret it once you hack it off. It takes minutes, even seconds to do that, but years to grow back. It seems like you are not too happy either way, so having the regret of cutting years of long hair off would just add to your depressed state.
Wow, did my post really seem depressed? The state of my hair doesn't have a significant effect on my happiness to the best of my knowledge. Though I do agree losing years of work would be a shame.
Opinions would be nice. Ok, cut it and move on.
In my opinion your not really interested in it so why bother.
I'll encourage those who want longhair you just see it as "that would be cool"
Hob goblin? Troll perhaps?
Aww, the troll is so cute...
... I'd give him a 20 hit-combo.
Well, of course we'd all encourage you to keep it and grow it longer, but to me it sounds like you've given long hair a shot and it just isn't really for you. While obviously none of us here want our hair cut, if it were to happen I think we'd all be growing it right back out. For some people long hair is more important than others, and if you don't want it, then, well, you don't want it.
I would just encourage you to employ the two week rule to make sure you don't do something you regret (if you're thinking about cutting it, wait two weeks, and if you're unsure of your decision even once, start the two weeks over again.)
In the end you just have to do what makes you happy, and we're in no position to tell you to do anything else.
Hi JD,
Well after reading your comprehensive post and none of the many replies yet I kind of scratch my head as to what I can really say to you.Since you posted no pic I have no idea what your almost two years of growing looks like but I assume it looks great.You don't sound very committed to the longhair cause so I can safely say you are not the so called born longhair.In your case I'm not going to convince you to keep something that you probably aren't all that crazy about so ultimately it up to you if you go short.You'll just have to weigh the pros and cons and make a choice.Good luck with your decision.
Mark
I'll try to post a pic tonight so I can show it off. :-) Unfortunately, I had regular trims (every three months) for the first half of growing, so it's not nearly as long as it should be. I stopped that nonsense when I realized that there was no significant change after half a year.
Wow, when did this board get so judgmental?
Here's a guy who's got long hair and he's not sure if he wants to keep it that way. He thinks he likes short hair better but he's not sure about cutting. What's the problem? Surely on a long hair board, one would expect to find help from people who've been through the same thing. Instead he's met with angry responses and scorn.
Anyway, JD -- it sounds to me like you'd be happier with short hair. I'll echo the two-week rule suggestion. If you cut it and don't like it, it'll always grow back. :)
And to the rest of the board - since when does long hair have to be a lifelong dedication? To some of you it may be very important and something you never want to lose, myself included, but there are plenty of people without such an attachment. Can every one of you say with confidence that you've never once even considered cutting your hair, let alone actually doing it? The poster just doesn't want to do something he'll regret... of all people, I would think that the members here would be the ones who would understand.
Peter
Peter,Peter,Peter....I'll be glad to answer this part.I can only speak for myself but it really is a lifelong dedication!I mean my hair has been long for over 25 years with no chop jobs in between.To me the poster doesn't sound like he cares for the hair in spite of the fact that he grew it for almost two years.How much more time do you want to give the guy.If he doesn't like it long than so be it.
Can every one of you say with confidence that you've never once even considered cutting your hair, let alone actually doing it?
Nope, never once!Not even under the influence of the cooking sherry:)
The poster just doesn't want to do something he'll regret... of all people, I would think that the members here would be the ones who would understand.
I would offer support if I really though he was on the fence but in this instance its case closed from how I read it.
Mark
Hi Mark,
I tend to agree with you. Words are the tools we use here to communicate our ideas to each other. The original poster of this thread, JD, sounded pretty damn clear to my ears (according to my eyes - LOL), re. the fact that he felt that there were more pros than cons in returning to short hair. Since he never included a pic of himself along with his thread (nor do i EVER remember him including a pic of his hair in past threads of his, either), all we have to go on is his words he used in communicating his dilemma... But, it sounds to me like he's already made up his mind!
I could easily go on & on about my own impulsive Y2K short haircut, and how I deeply DEEPLY regretted cutting it afterward; but, since he's been a fairly regular member here for awhile now (at least a year or 2 maybe??), I'm sure he's heard my story before, --- and there's no point in boring him with those details again, especially since he sounds pretty unattached to his own long hair.
JD, if you're reading this, as long as you apply the "2-week rule", and still feel the same after the two weeks are up; then I say go ahead and cut. When I cut my own hair back in Y2k, I didn't know about any such thing called "the 2-week rule" (nor did I even know of a place called MLHH). I just woke up one summer morning, unhappy about many things in my life, and unfortunately picked on my hair that day, --- yes, I was that impulsive! What took me 9 long years to grow out long was all gone in less than an hour's time of sitting in a hair stylist's chair.
I feel nowadays that i NEEDED to learn a lesson from that experience, even though it was definitely learned the hard way. I needed to discover the value of making a COMMITMENT to being a longhair in order to never go through that type of horrible experience again. But, the "tone" in your written "voice" sounds very different from my own feeling about having long hair...
No matter how much the majority of us at MLHH wish to see everyone become and stay a life-long longhair, to our credit, most of us would rather see the guys who post here be HAPPY above all else... even if that means one of our comrads decides to go back to short hair.
To my ears, you don't sound all too happy with long hair, --- so, my guess is that eventually you will indeed cut it off (regardless of whatever any of us might say in trying to encourage you NOT to do so)...
End of Sermon!
- Ken in San Francisco
I, too cut my hair in 2000, probably using some of the same reasons JD has stated, easier to care for, needing a change, etc... It was a learning experience for me also. I learned it pleases me to have long hair. Long hair is how it makes you feel inside.
JD,if you don't have that feeling and think you'd be happier with short hair, then you need to do in life what pleases you the most. Some of my best friends are happy short hairs. Nothing wrong with being happy! You'll learn whether you're a longhair or not when you cut your hair. It the same lesson that Ken and I learned coincidentally in the same year. (and we were so worried about computer bugs!)
Bruce
That's very likely, the only question is when. I went into this as an experiment, which I'm sure most of you would see as the wrong mindset for being a true longhair. I *do* like my long hair (I don't think it defines me though), and I'm reluctant to cut it.
It's not a "wrong" mindset. It's something that was just new to you at the time you decided to first grow it out, --- just as it was also new to me the first time I grew my own out, starting in the early '90s. Is it "wrong" for a man to get married if he has never tried it before? No. Is it "wrong" to accept employment at a place that you haven't yet worked at before? No. Then why should it be "wrong" to be curious about what long hair might be like to have, even if you're unsure whether or not you might like it?
People get attached to wives (or, conversely, sometimes UNattached) after many years of having one; people find they wish to keep their jobs (or, also conversely, wish they could DUMP their jobs) after many years of having one.... So, why wouldn't trying out long hair for the first time also be just like anything else in life that is an "unknown factor" when first embarking on giving it a shot?
My annoyance with your original post has to do with your tone that you had in sounding like you had already made your mind about the topic, because you clearly stated that you saw more pros to returning to short hair than cons.
I *do* like my long hair (I don't think it defines me though), and I'm reluctant to cut it.
A-Ha!!!!! A ray of hope then that you might actually like long hair more than you assume you do? Reluctance to cut means that you're not really as ready to give it up as you first presented. In that case, I say DON'T cut. Think it over long & hard, --- at LEAST waiting 2 full weeks to throw the towel in, so to speak.
Nobody here will ever ask you to pass a certified "test" of some kind in order to determine whether or not you are a "true longhair"; nor does having long hair have to literally "define" you (I consider it an important ASPECT about me, for example; but, it is NOT the "only" thing in the world that makes myself feel I'm "me")... It's just an issue of liking it more than NOT liking it; enjoying having it long more than NOT enjoying keeping it long...
When guys ask our advise, we have to make a judgement of how to best reply to somebody based on their wording used in trying to express their feelings. Sounding very "ho-hum" about your hair is bound to result in very ho-hum or even negative responses.
Regardless of your ultimate decision, I wish you my best, --- and hope you find your happiness in not only however you end up having your hair; but, also in other things in life!
- Ken in San Francisco
Wow, when did this board get so judgmental?
When people began asking us our opinion. Like it or not.
Kevin
I think I've settled on the same thing I've settled on in the past. It's probably not yet long enough to make the final decision, and I'll wait until the end of the year (a few months) to make sure. That gives me a goal while also saving me from making bad choices on a whim. Sort of an extension to the two-week rule.
And of course, I'll have the same dilemma at the end of the year and probably settle on the same goal ad infinitum until I can sit on the toilet and not get a cold butt. ;-)
I can feel your frustration, I too have been considering cutting my hair in the last while. Long hair can be a pain, the tangles, the maintainence, and the headaches (I have known people that get migraines whenever they have long hair).
It'd be a lot easier a decision for me if there was more in the way of hair control items that didn't look WAY odd on guys, but I'm keeping mine for the time being.
Ultimately, it is your choice, just remember, it takes a crap load of time to regrow it if you decide after that you made a mistake.
Longhair is a lot of work and if you don't want that it's better to cut it although I don't like saying that.
After two years you should have grown into a longhair mindset, maybe it will take even more time but I don't know.
I can't decide for you, do whatever makes you happy.
Sometimes getting an idea by just kinda seeing what you might look-like can be VERY helpful. (Like what I just did to myself above to get an "impression idea" for that new special look.
Yes, I know it's a bit short and does rather show my unusual pointed head, but hey, the hair will and can grow back and cover that if I wanted. So, no problem.
Perhaps try doing something along these lines yourself to help you figure-out the best of all?
My driver's license has a picture of my right after a hair cut, so I've got at least a front view of my old style. It looks good, but I also look good now. ;-)
First: whatever the eventual outcome, just know you can't judge things to be better only by how little effort they require: i.e. what you said about short hair being "better" choice because it requires less effort. Finishing college is also a route which requires more effort than going for a physical work-based job... so, is it worse choice then?
Personally, I have an attachment for long hair. It's an objective type of attachment and, more often than not, I'm very critical of how it looks, how healthy it is, etc. I'm not a sentimental ideologist who does his best to deny any disadvantage of his beloved ob ject. And yet I enjoy it.
I already have a little below shoulderblade-length hair and I now even have a little ponytail, with almost no fringe falling down. A LOAD of criticism, forcings, and insults I have endured over the years (mind you, it has been the mixture of harsh treatment AND long period of it) made me stone-skinned enough not to give in to anyone's opposition, and now it is I and I only who will make myself go to the barber's and cut it. A propos to that, I would ask you if it might be the suggestion of your family and friends that you look nicer with short hair. Only if it is the very YOU who thinks short hair looks prettier should you go to the barber's.
I agree with you long hair is hard to maintain. But to those willing to learn, time is an efficient teacher. If you managed to acquire a fighter spirit, you'll be above all the hardships; in fact, you even may like them and regard them as a test after which you'll only become mentally stronger. Seneca wrote about it wonderfully in his essay "On Firmness".
I'm fortunate in that I haven't gotten any negative comments on my hair. In fact, everyone who has commented has been overwhelmingly positive. However, while I take overall opinion into consideration (ie. if everyone says I look like crap, I just might look like crap), I don't let other people drive my decisions.
I've found that at "pony tail length" long hair is very easy to maintain. All you really have to do is wash it and use conditioner.
Short hair on the other hand is "hair cut", "hair cut", "hair cut", over and over. Maybe you just ain't used to it yet.
I prefer to wear mine down and the only real problem I have is an occasional dirty look. Of course, longhair is an "idiot filter". What I mean is you can easily identify the idiots by the way they react to it.
Paul
same here. I can have a ponytail, and around my house I do. But when I go out I almost always have it down to piss off anyone who doesn't like it.
as Matt Schulz (Cage the Elephant) says... "So all the critics who despise us, go ahead and criticize us,
It's your tyranny that drives us, adds the fire to our flames"
OK, so its nnot actually a quote about hair, but it works =D
My thoughs and my opinion, Cut It, Cut It Now, the sooner the better! And do a good deed, save the hair and send it to Locks of Love, maybe they will use it and make a wig for someone who would appreciate it.
Frank
Oh yes our favourite charity here where they really use all the hair!
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