new thread
Hey guys, this is my first post but I have always been lurking these forums.
A little background about myself. I'm 24, currently a student trying to work my way to law school in San Francisco. I've always loved having long hair. I had long hair once as a child, cut it due to peer pressure, and just recently grew it out again the past 3 years.
Anyway, the only experience I have in jobs is in restaurants. I waited on tables for several years, and currently bartend at a chain restaurant which allows longhairs, but the management is horrible and business as well. I've tried applying to other places, but I've been denied each time due to the length of my hair. In fact, 5 establishments all said that they would hire me if I agreed to cut my hair, which I didn't. My hair is very clean and well kept, and always tied back, but their rules say "cut above the collar." I've never had any complaints about my hair, only compliments and envious remarks from women.
I just had another restaurant agree to hire me on the condition I cut my hair again, and this time I feel that no one will hire me unless I just cut it. I've tried to convince them to let me tie it up in a bun, or tuck it in my shirt, and it's a no-go. I've thought about getting a job outside the service industry, but nothing else at this point in my life would allow me to earn as much money with the flexible hours I need for school. Also, friends have told me not to waste the bartending experience I have since those jobs are sought out and earn lots of money. It just feels hopeless right now. I have bills I need to pay, and this job would probably carry me through college, but I really don't want to cut my hair! Has anybody else been in a similar situation and what did you do?
This is how my hair looks like now. I have about a week to think about it....
Ash, your hair is gorgeous.I agree it would be a crime to cut such fantastic locks for this temporary job.I know you said you've tried many places but have you considered trying another type of job that is more longhair friendly?I'm actually visiting the San Francisco area myself looking to possibly relocate here from the east coast.Fortunately my hair hasn't been a problem with my current employer back home and I trust the same will be true here as well.As for you I would dig in my heals and refuse to cut my hair like you've been doing.I'm confident you'll land the right job that won't care about hair length.Good luck my friend and please do let us know how it works out for you.
Mark
I've really considered another field of employment, but service industry jobs are just so lucrative to students because of their flexible hours and amount of money you can earn for time worked. (100-200 dollars cash a night in addition to hourly wage) That's pretty much why you see college students always working them.
It's really sad too since it is the bay area and longhairs I believe are fairly more common around these parts.
With the economy the way it is now, times are tough, jobs are scarce, and the competition for jobs is fierce. Especially in the bay area, where the cost of living is so high. It isn't surprising to see 50+ people show up to interviews posted on craigslist within the first hour. I've actually been searching for almost a year for other employment in this field, and got nothing for it. The place I got hired at will probably have 100 applicants per day at the rate they are going.
Thanks for your support guys. I'm trying to stand my ground on this, but the bills pile up and the pressure is just adding on. My only real hope is to convince them in a week to let me slide, or hope a longhair friendly job becomes available. With the amount of job applicants these days though, it just doesn't seem feasible that would happen, since they could just skip over a potential employee for 2 dozen others instead of changing a company policy.
I can't wrap my head around why they'd want you to cut your hair. Honestly, it's way better than most of the girls hair I see around. That and you're far from a bad looking guy. They can't possibly be asking you to do it for appearance purposes, can they?
As much as I'd like to think people aren't bigoted enough to follow the stereotype of men are to have short hair ... these employers seem like clear cut bigots to me.
Is there anything legally that can be done about this? I know the lawyer thing was mentioned in another response.
I am sick of discrimination against long hair. Women can have long hair and wear sandals and basically get away with anything. Having long hair describes who we are. If we give that up then we are just like everybody else. Don't cut it, there are plenty of jobs in the service industry that don't discriminate.
Exactly! My long hair is my way of standing out from the crowd, being different from the norm, and having an iconic symbol to be remembered by. If anything, hair should be judged on a case by case basis instead of just being a rule followed word by word. I mean I could understand if my hair was unsanitary, not tidy and could possibly interfere with food service, but most people would agree mine is far from that.
The worst is the people that tell you to cut it. It's so easy for them to say that because they haven't had to care for it in the past years. The double standards are just so ridiculous. And if you do cut it, they either don't say anything, or they might say "Oh, I like your hair cut." Wow, like those few words are gonna make me feel that much better about losing something that important that took years to obtain. It's already happened when I last cut my hair!
You hair is phenomenal and shows many years of growth and good care. As Mark said, it would be a crime to lose it to a temporary job, but I understand the importance and pressure of a decent paying job with flexible hours while in law school(I'm impressed !). I am surprised that you would be having quite so much difficulty in San Francisco of all places, and especially in bartending.....keep trying and don't get discouraged. Perhaps on-campus student employment would have some contacts and advice.
Please let us know how it goes and Good Luck
WWT (Walter White Tail)
Hey, this may be a little off the wall, but have you considered modeling? You have a distinctive face and your hair is beautiful. There must be several agencies around SF. Maybe someone else here has a lead.
Good news.
You may not have to work as these prospective employers are acting against the law. See if you can get one of them to put in writing that they will not hire you due to your appearance. Or, at least get a witness to be present when you are told such.
At that point, you can say something like, "just so that I am clear, you are discriminating against me due to my appearance, and refusing to offer me a position?" Most morons would back down at that point and hire you.
As a prospective law student, get yourself into the Legal Aid Bureau if you cannot afford a lawyer, and start planning a nice retirement nest egg!
I can't believe in this day and age a fine looking fellow like you is being discrimiated against because of your hair length. It probably is illegal. It certainly is wrong. I can't help but believe this a minority of employers. I would think in many situations, your great hair would be more an assett to getting hired than a deficit. Keep looking.
This is just horrible unthinkable news when hair as gorgeous as is yours is at stake and we are suppose to have long hair anyways according to the laws of nature.
Hmmmmmm..............ever think of trying for a temporary job and having your hair in a bun? This way it looks as if you do not have so much hair. Anything to not have to cut!
My best to you-
Justin~
This is my personal opinion as I am not hip on the laws, but if the same establishment would hire a woman with long hair then you probably have grounds for a sexual discrimination suit. It probably won't get you the job, and you probably don't want to work for people like that anyway, but if their discrimination is keeping you out of work, they can foot the bill for you forced unemployment. ;-)
I haven't yet been denied a job because of my hair, but I would be sure to make the employer sweat a bit about the legal ramifications before bidding them a nice day.
With as georgeous hair like yours, no job is worth cutting it off.
tell them you're a sihk
or
buy a stuipid short wig and wear it (with your own hair tucked up hidden inside) - last resort if you really need the money
and it is discrimination
Even though I'm an athiest, I still hate this excuse. If you are actually a part of that religion, say that. If you aren't, don't abuse the religion. I'd go for saying you're part of long hair religion, technically Erik is ordained so it's religious descrimination, as well as sexual discrimination.
Yey, Erik
~Jarvis~
I got ordained online by the same church that ordained Erik (the Universal Life Church) and asked Erik permission to be a minister of the Hair Religion, which he granted. We'll take you as a member! We take atheists too, I'm one myself.
Maybe one of the board members in your area (SF bay area, wasn't it?) could get ordained with the ULC and then sign up with Erik. Then your minister could testify on the stand that you were a member of the Hair Religion in good standing.
ULC ordination just takes a few clicks. There are several splinter groups of the ULC, and I'm ordained by the one called The ULC Monastery. No vows required. Just a promise to always try to do the right thing.
ULC Monastery
Actually I live in western Maryland, I don't think theres any board members near me. Is there a way to become a member of it online?
it's religious descrimination, as well as sexual discrimination
true - but the thought goes through my head again - why do you have to have a religion? isnt that discrimination in itself? why cant people just be accepted as people instead of having to prove something? to prove they are part of a movement?
hellyeah - I agree with you - absolutely - I'm an atheist too but y'know what?? atheists and people who are just themselves have NO right to anything. If you say you're a religious group they bend over backwards (which in my eyes is wrong) but the truth is, men (in particular) have zero rights in having long hair in the work place, at home or anywhere else - which is wrong. People are people imo. Go and read the sihk thread and think why did every other male who joined the forces until now have to comply with military orders.. without any thought on behalf of the military about what that person did or didnt want?
btw religion(s) abuse people too - politically and socially imo
but that just my personal opinion, humans are political animals
sorry, rant alert over... lol
The religion thing just makes me feel really uncomfortable. If anyone asks me about being a sikh I wouldn't even know how to reply.
I have thought about saying I am part Native American when I'm really not...I've been told by everyone that I could really pass for a Native American. I'm an honest type of person though, so either way I'd have trouble keeping up with lies. But when the hair is at stake, anything goes!
Get a hospital job. I worked at UCSF for 15 years, at a front desk type job where I dealt with the public. I had every known hair color, long hair, a mohawk, went to work dressed like an elf. Nobody cared.
The jobs pay pretty well and you can usually get odd hours if you need to go to school. Plus, hospitals are SF's biggest industry. It helps if you have a friend or a relative to get you an interview.
Thanks for all the replies. I am still deciding on what to do, but I am leaning towards standing my ground. I know if I cut my hair, I wouldn't be able to serve anyone with a smile. I went down to another newly opened location today to chat with some of the employees there and learned some things.
First off, I should've mentioned I was applying to TGI Friday's of all places. It's not exactly the Ritz Carlton of chains, but I like it since it promotes a casual atmosphere. (Strangely I am the type of person that would prefer a dive bar over a 3 star restaurant, just down to earth really.) And I thought that since they promote such a party atmosphere, they'd be okay with longhairs. The last time I went to one the waiter that served me had dreads down to his butt! Anyway in this area, they all closed down and were bought out by a new franchisee and I guess he made a bunch of new rules, including no long hair for men and no hats for any waitstaff.
The employees basically told me the people that interviewed me that day were the general manager and big boss man. From what the employees knew, the general manager would probably let me slide, but what big boss man says goes...
....but they have made exceptions for certain rules. A worker said that at first they didn't allow piercings, but after awhile a manager spoke up and said that this is California and they should be more Californian about things. So now they allow piercings....but not long hair on men! Also within a few months of opening, half of the staff that opened the place were already fired or quit! (High turnover is common in the service industry)
They told me to just try styling it so it is above the collar and as unnoticeable as possible, and if it brings up a red flag they'll just let me know about it and that would be that. That's just my plan for now. I spent today looking at ways to hide my hair and this is the best I can come up with. The front is okay, you'd never know my hair was long, but from the back it's just a giant puff of hair. It's just too long to try and hide without a hat. It looks ridiculous, but "above the collar."
Ash,like I said before your hair is too beautiful to be cut and I hope you can avoid that fate.I like what you did to hide the length as it actually looks very professional in my opinion.Funny that a TGI Friday would be so strict as from where I come from most of the patrons look like bums!lol.What the heck do they think TGI is anyway.Hey I'd be honored having you serve my chow:)Keep the faith my friend.
Mark
Thanks Mark.
I don't get their standards either. Like I said, before all the Friday's closed down around here, the last time I went the waiter had dreadlocks down to his butt! The atmosphere of that place is supposed to promote the fact that anyone can come in and have a great time, bum or suit and tie businessman. At this point, the only thing I can hope for is to think of more ways to hide the length and hope they let me slide long enough for me to make my mark as a great employee.
Someone told me that they did that for a person with piercings. He had to remove them and wear plastics until a sympathetic manager told the boss that they're in the SF bay area and that they should be more open minded. Now they allow piercings. The problem is, he could take off his piercings, and I can't exactly remove my hair and put it back on later!
Hey, the above style is very interesting. If you're brave enough to explain how to do it... :)
Personally, I wouldn't try to "hide" my hair. Even with the style you show, it will be obvious to people that you have long hair, and they will wonder why you try to hide it. I'd just put it in a correct updo, above the collar. Be proud of you and your hair, even if it's tied up !
Good luck !
Vivien
Back shot of tucked in hair.
That's a very impressive tuck job, Ash. I used to try that long ago, but I never did that good a job. Sheesh. I don't see why you couldn't just clip it up with one of those spring jaw clips if you want to. Women do it all the time.
I still think if you keep looking, you'll find an employer who appreciates decent long hair instead of condemning it.