new thread
A couple of months ago I posted here but due to a computer crash I have not been back until now.. So I have some additional questions for all you long hair guru's out there.. :)
I have been doing research into natural oils for hair and I have found out that Jasmine oil works wonders for soft, silky hair and has been used by people in India for thousands of years. I have also discovered that Shea Butter and Jojoba oil is the best for moisturizing. I have also discovered that Alma (gooseberry) oil is great for having a thicker fuller mane, another ancient tip from India.
Now I am a naturalist and believe that chemicals can damage and dull hair and cause breakage. So when I use oils I use organic, essential and 100% pure oils without additives.
So when I was researching the Jasmine and Alma oils above they were always listed as hair oils, e.g. Jasmine hair oil, etc. So my question is, is there a difference between Hair oil and oil? I do not want to buy Jasmine hair oil with all the additive's if I can buy Jasmine oil essential and add it to a carrier oil like Jojoba and apply to hair. Does anybody have any clue?
Second question has to do with ponytails.. My hair is almost at the point of every hair being put into a ponytail but I still have my front strips that are a little to short. I have not gone outside yet with a ponytail. My question is, is it kosher for a man to have a ponytail with some strips that hang behind the ears? I say my strips are about 2 inches too short to be put into the ponytail... Would that look too girly?
Thank you for all your time..
Mikhael
Welcome back Mikhael,
At my length I still have tendrils of hair that come loose during the day and hang down in my face. Sometimes I put some gel in it to help hold it in place and sometimes I just let it go.
Personally I don't think its "girly" at all. But I wouldn't be caught dead with barrettes.
Paul
Hi Mikhael,
I'm rather unable to answer all your hair oil questions, even though I use hair oil myself. But, this much I will say: I prefer the pure, natural oils without any additives whatsoever, too. The oils I prefer to use are as follows: Kukui nut oil, Almond oil, Jojoba oil, and Olive oil. Recently my new #1 favorite oil is, oddly enough, the Olive ANY olive oil good enough and pure enough in its quality for eating / cooking is good enough for my hair, although I prefer "virgin" (LOL)!!
As far as ponytails go, in my experience, once you feel ready to walk out the door wearing one, just hold your head up high and walk with confidence (as if there is nothing unusual whatsoever -- even if it FEELS "unusual" to yourself)... ACTING masculine IS "masculine". Period. The only mistake you can make to come across "girlie" at all is too worry too much and appear highly self-conscious.
Just so you know: this advise is coming from a gay guy who prefers to look and act just like any other guy walking down the street (in other words, I don't like looking "girlie", either). Although I enjoy hearing positive comments from people who openly admire my long hair (whether male or female), it's my preference to honestly just "blend in" as much as possible (other than I refuse to cut my hair short).
When I first starting wearing my hair back in a bun, I was understandably a bit self-conscious about it, because it was a new experience for me --- HOWEVER, as my hair grew longer and longer, the bun became very PRACTICAL (especially at work). Eventually the day came when the desire to do the practical thing overcame the worrying over how others might perceive my new look.
To put it another way, in the words of the poet Lassie Benton: "And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud, became more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Feel free to allow yourself to "blossom" as a longhair, my friend! Paul also gave you some excellent advise -- sounds like you're more ready than you think to walk outdoors wearing that ponytail!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hey Ken,
I am relatively new to the site and new to growing out my hair. Started growing, or stopped cutting my hair in August of '09. My first serious attempt in 43 years (I have always wanted to try)! Anyways, I have read some of your previous posts regarding oils, and I must say you have great advice and knowledge. I'm an avid swimmer, swim almost every morning in a chlorinated pool.... yuck to the chlorine. I have been using almond oil for the last week or so, really helps with the drying from the swimming and also helps with the "green" color my brunette hair is now looking. It's kind of funky looking at times, the "green" that blondes usually experience, I look like I'm prematurely graying.
Anyways, from one gay "Ken" to another, I really appreciate your knowledge and advice and hope that others do to!
Peace,
Kenny
Hey Kenny,
Thanks so much for the kind words and nice compliment! I used to swim a lot myself when I was younger, and even taught swimming and canoeing when I was a summer camp counselor when I was in my late teens and very early 20s. Unfortunately, though, I no longer have much opportunity to swim much out here in SF (the ocean temperature is especially cold here, even in summer, because of the current that comes down from Alaska); but, hey, whenever I go over to my brother's house, at least he has a pool in his back yard that I can take a dip into!
I'm so glad you found MLHH, and that you find our advise and support helpful! You probably also already know about gaylonghair.com (it's mentioned in the Links page here). I met my partner there, in fact, in early '06. In Sept. of that same year he moved up to SF from Southern CA to move in w/ me... WOW, I can't believe that this was over 3 years ago now!!!!
Anyway, keep it growin' and flowin' -- and just continue as you have been doing ever since you stopped cutting your hair back in August of last year... It's a happy habit to cultivate, to no longer go to get those stupid regular haircuts, as growing one's hair out longer and looooooonger is one of life's greatest joys to ever experience!
Take Care,
Ken in San Francisco
Ken,
Yes, I'm aware of gaylonghair.com... that is so cool you met your partner there. It's amazing how times flies as you stated. My partner Buddy and I met at a gay bar and have been together for 12 years. Buddy has had shoulder length hair the entire time, however before meeting me he once had hair down to his belt line. I've always has short hair, to afraid of what others thought in the past to grow mine out.
You remind me of a swimmer and canoeing person, maybe it's the beautiful hair and the "California" look. You mentioned "tourist from Ohio" in your post with the random long hair photos you took in 2004? Buddy & I live in Cleveland... would love to see SF or any part of California one day.
Thanks so much for all of the encouragement... I do enjoy not getting those stupid regular haircuts. I was "anal" about haircuts, practically every 3 weeks, so done with that.
Thanks Ken & Peace to you and your partner,
Kenny
Ken,
Thanks for all your advice.. Some follow-up questions..
You said you use oils and such so maybe you can answer this..
How do you apply the oils and remove them? Do you apply it to dry hair before bed or do you apply it to wet hair before bed? Do you leave it in all night? What do you do the following morning? Do you rinse it out or do you leave it in? If you leave it in how do you make your hair look not so oily and greasy?
Any other advice with hair oils?
Mikhael
Hello Mikhael,
I believe jasmine/alma hair oil are labeled as such so that people know that they can be used for hair. The essential oils should do just fine as many people here (including myself) use various essential oils for hair health.
At the moment I also am at the point where my bangs will not completely tie back. I still wear a ponytail and just let the strips of hair hang behind my ears at work. As Paul said it really can't be avoided even at longer lengths. I don't see why it would look girly. I tend to get the "you look like a girl" comments about the long hair/ponytail itself, not the loose bangs.
My advice is: just don't worry about what other people may think and just wear your hair how you damn well like!
-Dan H.
Much like the simple act of growing your hair long, the act of putting it into a ponytail, braid, or really any new style will set off another reaction of people not being comfortable with you and your new look, and just like the process of growing hair long, in time they will adjust. So my answer would be, no it wouldn't look girly, but you will have people say so because they can't think of anything else to call it. Well maybe they will just stop at "weird". =p
Good luck!