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Hi Hairy People,
This may sound like an odd trio of topics; but it happens to be one that I think about a lot, especially recently...
In December of just this past year I decided to try once more at growing my beard out. In January, I even colored it (with the "Just for Men" type of facial hair dye), which I actually liked quite a bit (because it gave me less of a "Santa Claus" appearance - LOL).
Today I looked in the mirror, couldn't stand the sight of myself with my beard making me look like a goat, and trimmed it back to a short goatee. Probably I was face-to-face with the beginning of the "awkward stages" of what long-bearded guys must go through. I'd still like to try a long/big beard someday; but I probably don't feel brave enough to follow through with it right now because I'm not as financially secure as I wish...
"What does money have to do with growing one's beard out?", you're probably saying to yourselves right now (LOL)
Well, the answer to that question is simple: I have NO intentions of ever cutting off my long hair, regardless of however bad the economy turns out to directly affect me. But, by having a neatly-trimmed beard & mustache, I guess that's my way of compromising with Western Society's pressure to not look TOO far-out there... In other words, by me having BOTH long hair AND a huge frickin' beard, I fear I would be less employable and/or less likely to get a raise.
"Clear as mud?" (LOL)
Of course, there is one more little factor that makes me feel like I look too much like "Santa" every time I let my beard grow out: if I could only lose a little more WEIGHT, people wouldn't expect me to be wearing a red suit and saying, "Ho ho ho!", even when it's far from Christmas time!
- Ken in San Francisco
Here's a pic of myself taken a few years ago, up in far Northern CA near the OR border. You can see how white my beard is -- and why even complete strangers have made the "Santa" comment to me, even though my beard is obviously still fairly neatly-trimmed...
[sigh]
- Ken in San Francisco
I've never colored my head hair (and probably never will, even when it turns completely white...); but, have occasionally dyed my beard & mustache to look a tad bit "younger" (as if it ever really fools anybody - LOL)....
This is the best pic that I have that shows off the contrast between the two. You can see all kinds of different color in my head hair (including lots of white mixing in with the original honey-blonde colors); but the beard color in its natural state is as white as the driven snow (notice that I didn't say I'm, "as PURE as the driven snow!" (LOL)
- Ken
Ken;
I think your beard at the length and trim of these photos is absolutely stunning....No, I do not think "Santa'....more Kenny Rogers. As far as employment goes, I think you present a very distinguished appearance and should not really have a serious issue with your fur.
Keep well and keep lookin' good, My Friend
Walter
Hi Ken,
Yea I hear you on that beard situation as if I had to choose between my head hair and a thick beard the head hair would always win.I've grown my beard several times but it seems when it gets to a certain length it just bothers me. Also I have this weird white patch right in the middle where my chin is.The outer parts are generally brown.So keeping it in a shortened goatee suits me better.Less of a white patch in the middle,and it doesn't get itchy as when its longer as I keep messin' with it then.lol.
As for your examples I'd say your all white beard looks better than that mixture I come up with.You do look great with that length beard Ken...Santa or no Santa!LOL
Mark
"Ditto!" I have had basically the same type of experience with my own beard.
Thanks, Mark. I haven't yet shown an example of what my beard looks like when I color it. It actually looked very natural. The next time I do dye it, I'll take pictures.
Thanks again!!
Long Lox 4ever,
Ken
No, it makes perfect sense, and it jibes with what I've experienced. Some people are obsessed with you not looking the least bit different, but most people will forgive one unusual thing and not tag you as a lowlife or criminal. This means if you are white and have short hair, you can wear funky clothes. If you have long hair, you can't get away with wearing clothes that look so trashy. A white kid can get away with wearing clothes or having hair that a black kid cannot.
Whether long hair and a long beard are one thing or two may vary in the mind of one person from the next, but for some people, having both may present more weirdness than they are comfortable with. I've found if I wear very new and neat clothes, strangers are more responsive to me than if I wear older stuff. Way back when I had shorter hair, the clothes I wore didn't matter as much. Clothes don't need to be dressy as much as they need to be neat, unfaded, and clean. Similarly, it can help if your hair is kept tidy and clean. Tied back is neater than windblown, for example.
To sum up what I've noticed is that people will look at the whole package and not be bothered by one unusual thing, because it does not establish a trend. If you go beyond one thing, it does.
Because of my having both a long mane and long beard, and because I don't wear dress up clothes, I tend to have two clothing styles. One you could call a hippie style, where I let the clothes go, but everything looks "hippie" so it all fits together. In effect, because it all matches, to many people the whole hippie look is "one unusual thing". The other style is where I wear newer looking clothes, and just my hair is the "one unusual thing".
Having both long hair and a long beard myself, I'd say to any of you who want both, that you can do it, but to avoid rejection you may have to be less haphazard about what you wear.
Long beards also do not look very good if you wear shirts with high contrast patterns because they will show through the beard. This means you will probably want to wear medium to dark shades of shirts without a lot of contrast in the artwork or patterns on them.
Bill
Very insightful post about certain types of clothing and dress styles, and how they can compliment long hair. I have never really thought to much about this. I guess if you have long hair and want to be taken seriously you have to dress well most of the time. I like consistency in my image. If you are projecting a typical "hippie" image that matches the hair/beard and clothing then I would think that people would be more at ease and could easily identify you for a certain stereotype - like "ohh, that guys a hippie". If you were wearing an expensive business suit they might think that your appearance is quite peculiar as the combination is at odds with each other, leaving the person wondering "what the...?".
Yes, I'd agree. A man has his hair, his clothing, his demeanor, and the environment all into play. The less incongruity among all of that, the better. If you look like a lumberjack, you will look better in nice looking casual clothes than in very dressy clothes, because the contrast is too great.
And yes, it makes people comfortable to be able to put a label on you, even if the label is not one that makes them the most comfortable, for this will still be more comfortable for them than the chaos of not knowing what to make of you. If your look can fall into a stereotype, that can help, but make it the "nice" version of that stereotype.
Bill
Yes, that is basically what I've found as well. A good example is a guy I know whose upper body is covered in tattoos. Also one of the cooks I work with, a gorgeous girl who otherwise looks very "normal" or even "average" in every other way. Whenever she wears long-sleeved shirts w/ a high neckline, nobody would even know she had any tats (which is what happened when she interviewed for the cooking job)... On a hot summer day, though, when she's wearing a tank top, you can't miss them!
As you know, my partner, Even, not only has long hair, but also has multiple earrings, and a few tattoos to boot (but they usually aren't very visible, because on his chest & upper arms); but in his case, it's a total "packaged look"... He's been pushing the envelope a bit more nowadays, though, by wearing eyeliner & some degree of noticeable make up. I don't care for it myself; but, to each is own.... His job as a pet groomer allows for a lot of individuality & diversity of looks -- so, no problem there. But, he has gotten more comments recently about his appearance (something that everyone who takes a risk like that has to just accept as inevitable, in my opinion).
- Ken
Yeah, you have a good point. Just wish I cared about the general publics opinion of what I do.
I already have the hair and the half-caring dress... and eyeliner. I have some peircings and tattoos planned out as soon as I get around to having them done.
I'm getting a skull on my right bicep with long hair going either to my elbow or wrist and wrapping around my arm. Thats the only tattoo I'm 100% on right now, but I'm circulating like 5 or 6 other ideas.
I also wanna get small hoops in each ear, start with one in each, probably keep adding every so often. left nose ring w/ chain connnecting it to my ear (think rachel bolan). Might get a septum at some point, atleast right eyebrow. There'll be more down the road I'm sure.
Interesting post.
I think you are lucky to have retained most of your natural hair colour to this point. It is a very nice sandy/blondy colour with very little greys, from what I can see. If you're going to grow a beard out I'd say just do it and leave it natural.
I quite like the "Santa Claus" look. It conveys wisdom and life experience in an older gent. Besides, you are pretty much guaranteed to pick-up Santa work during Christmas time - Do you know how much those fat guys in red suits get paid to sit with children on their lap and get their photo taken?
So that solves your employment worries, atleast for the month of December. You could always trim your beard for the other 11 months of the year. The problem with dying a beard is that it might look fake/unnatural and you must continuously keep redying it because of regrowth which would appear though it.
But to defy the woeful economic conditions and make huge financial and personal sacrifices to keep our long hair is a testament to our unwavering dedication and commitment. It would be nice if employers and the corporate world were more accepting of male long hair though because the rejections and hardships it burdens on us can be intolerable at times. I'm entering the corporate workforce and this is probably my number one apprehension. I am certainly trying to manage my 'liabilities' - by keeping the rest of my appearance neat and tidy and not projecting any other negative aspects of my appearance or personality. I will slick the hair back for job interviews and try and keep it as downplayed and subtle as possible. Don't you work in landscaping, if I recall? That shouldn't be anywhere near as bad as a regular office job in terms of hair and image requirements, surely?
Thanks! And thanks also for the compliment about my hair color, etc (which I erased for space purposes)...
I used to work full-time as a landscaper / maintenance gardner; but 4 years ago, it got harder and harder on my knees, as well as I got tired of either working in the rain during the winter months, or else being broke because of NOT working in the rain (LOL), -- so, when an opportunity more or less "fell into my lap" to return to my former profession of cooking (which, thank goodness, is an INDOOR job - LOL), I grabbed it.
I still accept a few gardening jobs now & then -- mostly requests for winter-pruning roses (because I more or less have always specialized in taking care of rose gardens); but, not at all the amount of gardening jobs that I used to do.
- Ken
Difficult subject, but I think it is all in your mind!
I started growing a "full" beard too, I used to shave it down to a goatee but right now I just let it grow. My beard is very uneven, thick on one side an thin on the other side with unfilled parts but I don't care and like it. Since I started I didn't get a single negative comment so it was all in my head!
LOL, to some degree, I have to admit you make a valid point, Vincent! The "little voices in our heads" are always telling us what we THINK other people are thinking about us, -- when in actuality, NONE OF US really "know' what another person is thinking at all!! I don't know of one single person who truly successfully does any "mind-reading" -- do you? Therefore, what we think we think others are thinking about us is only what we think we think, not necessarily what the other person is actually thinking -- unless, of course, we later find out that they were indeed thinking what we thought they were thinking (LOL)!!
Well, Vincent, I hate to say it this way, but here goes: you are YOUNGER, SLIMMER, AND BETTER-LOOKING than myself... which means you have a big advantage over me in getting hired and/or promoted in a job than I do. In other words, I have to deal with age discrimination, weight discrimination, and long hair / beard discrimination. I'm unable to get any younger; but I am trying to at least lose weight! However, I have no intention, EVER, of cutting my hair short to "fit in" better in the job world; but since I'm not as attached to long beards as I am to my long hair, I decided to trim my beard back to a neater look (so that I don't look quite as "far out" in left-field as I would if I kept the big Santa beard).
Thanks for the great feedback!
- Ken
I don't concern myself with what each particular individual might think. That is way too much work. Instead I just think, "Well, what would other cool guys like me think?" [grin]
Bill
I totally agree with that statement Bill.Why would I care what some buzzed guy thinks of my hair.I'd rather value the opinions of guys like yourself to critique my mane.At least I know it would be an honest assessment as they would know what long hair means to guys who have it.
Mark
Thanks a great mindset, why waste your time :)
Hi Hairy Ken,
A most interesting post on the topic of long beards & hair and financial security and Bill's response is something I never groked before with the more extreme way out hairy appearance balanced with more conservative clothes.
The only thing I could contribute to this discussion that hasn't been mentioned yet Ken is that as you work in food preparation at a nursing home they might require you to wear not only a hair net but a beard net as well if you should ever grow out a long beard that might just get in the way as I'm sure that shed hair/beard does not mix well in the strict hygiene practices of the food industry. I cannot think of any chefs/kitchen crew that have super long beards.
Just a thought.
Duncan
This obsession of "health departments" is silly, of course, because the length of a man's hair strands has no effect whatsoever on the number of strands he sheds. The only difference is that shed long strands are easier to spot. The health departments are therefore applying the logic, "if you don't see it, it can't hurt you," but of course, when it comes to germs, that logic most certainly does not apply.
Put another way, if the shorthaired men are all shedding in the food, there is no reason other than the yuck factor (because it can be seen) for longhairs to shed in it too.
Bill
Yes, I believe what Bill said is very true. I think about it myself a lot, and try to make wise decisions about what clothes to wear accordingly. We all eventually find a certain "look" that pleases us the most (while hopefully not offending everyone we meet in the process - LOL).... I mean, if I genuinely had the attitude of, "to HELL with what everyone else thinks!", then I would decide to walk around totally naked, right?? Well, just the thought of that even makes ME want to throw up (LOL)!! Hence, it's always a good idea to have SOME degree of consideration of others in mind -- yet not compromising our own individuality and reasonable freedoms in the process.
Yes, I've heard about beard nets; but haven't yet ever seen one.
Thanks for you comments, Duncan!
- Ken
I've seen beard nets several times, but only on Sikhs, who seem to have chosen to wear one. That said, most of them don't.