new thread
Hey all,
Well after a long, long, LONG relationship (over 13 years), I am finally single again. I won't bore you with the details but long story short, we were never right for each other to begin with and couldn't make it work.
A lot has changed in 13 years with regards to the dating scene, that much is certain. I'm 34 now and it's a TOTALLY different world than when I was 21. One big thing I find myself wondering is this -- does having long hair in and of itself turn away a noticeable number of women? I was hoping to get input from you guys, single or not, on how much positive female attention you get with your hair and what you've found to be the case when you've tried meeting them and starting relationships while having long hair.
I'm growing my mane for me, I'm never cutting it, and I don't care if that makes it more difficult for me to meet someone or not. I am curious though about what the situation in general might be and what to expect.
Your input (and experiences or stories) are appreciated! Thanks all.
well just check the last poster, theres 1 :)
Yeah I noticed that post and it reminded me that I had wanted to ask this here before, but never did. :)
A lot of people seem to say that most women don't like long hair on a guy, but most of those people are biased to begin with. I've always said that the kind of girl I want to attract will dig long hair anyway, so it's all good.
Does long hair on a guy hinder meeting the ladies?
Hmmmm...
Well, I meet ladies all the time. I'm often told by many of them that I'm their favorite dance partner! But, the honest truth behind that is the fact that I've taken a lot of Ballroom, Latin, and Swing dance classes. Apparently I must be doing SOMEthing right, or women wouldn't rush over to me to ask me for the next dance (seriously, this actually DOES happen -- brag brag brag - LOL)....
However, as far as long hair goes, most women I know don't seem to give one hoot about my hair, -- it's just something sitting on top of my head to them (it might as well just be a raccoon or something)!
But, the reason they probably have no intrest in either my hair nor in doing the horizontal Mambo w/ me is because they know I'm a gay dude.
.... End of story!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Thanks for the input Ken!
It's probably an interesting question from your perspective too since the common perspective here is that most gay men don't like long hair, but have you found that to hinder you from meeting other guys? I think your mane is awesome by the way.
I guess I'll never get why short hair in general became the "thing for men to do". I mean up until a couple hundred years ago, long hair on men was the norm right?
Hi again Edward,
You are absolutely correct re. the common perspective for most gay men is that short hair is the popular thing in the gay community here. Fortunately for me, I have a lot of friends (both gay & strait) who like me for me, regardless of my hair length.
As far as dating goes, I have a partner -- who even has long hair, too!! ("Will wonders ever cease!" - LOL); but even before he moved in w/ me, I never did like dating very much. I guess that's why I've been very much into partner dancing for so many years... there's nothing nicer than holding somebody in your arms and moving together to the music (even if it is while still being clothed and remaining vertical - LOL)....
And as far as whatever the "norm" was for hair styles on men 100 years ago.... Well, I'm not QUITE old enough to comment on that yet (LOL)!!
Take care, and keep it growing!
- Ken
ROFL! (lying horizontally, of course!)
I'm gonna guess that much like how being a hetero longhair has thinned out a lot of potential girls. Perhaps a homosexual longhair has also thinned out a lot of his potential guys? making it just harder in general to find mrs. or mr. right for both of us.
I just assume the stereotype must come into play for most women. They want a successful man to provide and longhair translates to unsuccessful druggie to them.
As for the gay side of the fence I'm not sure. I haven't dated in a very long time and my partner also has long hair. We don't fit the stereotype very well so I have no idea.
I just assume the stereotype must come into play for most women. They want a successful man to provide and longhair translates to unsuccessful druggie to them.
As for the gay side of the fence I'm not sure. I haven't dated in a very long time and my partner also has long hair. We don't fit the stereotype very well so I have no idea.
Kevin
Yeah, but our females friends tell us things that they'd never tell their boyfriends.
I'm not sure if my input will help you much more than Ken's, as while I've had long hair for the last seven years, I've been married for almost twenty-seven years. That being said, I've had positive reactions to my hair from a fair number of the women I know, although not of the "romantic" variety.
Frodo
Im Gay, but I get hit on all the time by ladies. They seem to like guys with long hair. I think it depends on the ladies and where you find them.
Gay guys don't hit on me. :( I am told it's the hair.
But...meh.
Hi Doug,
Incidently I had exactly the same experience when I had my long hair
Tom
Im Gay, but I get hit on all the time by ladies. They seem to like guys with long hair. I think it depends on the ladies and where you find them.
I've noticed some people who are surprisingly positive, some that are surprisingly negative, and a lot who don't really care. I dont think it makes a drastic difference, though it might hinder you somewhat. Simply because some women hate long hair, but I can hardly think of a single women ive ever met who hates short/medium.
I don't know how much I can help. But I think having long hair is a really good filter for the women that are attracted to you. The ones that don't care / like it are the ones you want.
Well EdwardNorth, if keeping your long hair is very important to you and you don't want to compromise that belief then the good news is that it will act as a wonderful filter for avoiding women who don't like long hair and who won't waste your time.
I believe most women are tolerant towards long hair particularly if it's kept in great condition and well looked after and is clean. Many of the favourable hair compliments I get have come from women.
It's important to be with someone who accepts you for who you are. Certainly in my experience since growing my hair out 25 months ago, I have had more women try to chat me up despite already being in a long-term relationship with one.
When you are comfortable in your own skin and at home with your identity you will find your own special lady often when you aren't trying.
Duncan
That's a good point about it being a filter too... as I mentioned, any girl I would want to get with would like it to begin with, so it's a definite time-saver there, lol. :D
Even though my hair ain't the greatest, I love it and it will get better and better looking as it gets longer and slower-growing areas have a chance to fill in. I'm not cutting it no matter what. It's an integral part of me and who I am now.
Thanks again for the input. I admit I have had the occasional compliment... for instance a pretty hot african-american girl at the mall spontaneously telling me I was handsome with my pony-tail. :)
couldnt tell you, no one goes out of their way to flirt with me, and im indifferent enough to not really be on the hunt myself.
i'll figure that part of my life out when i get to it i suppose
Thank you for posting and in fact I was considering of actually posting this yesterday if it weren't for my strange internet acting up again. The real reason I grew my hair was attract a certain girl who looked like the rocker/liberal type of person. I thought she rejected me for not being rockish at the time and went with a mid haired fellow(keep in mind I had short hair and I had no spine during freshman year!) I decided to grow a beautiful mane and show but unfortunately I could not show her my hair to strike some jealousy in what she missed(I know its immature but still :P).
In my short life I didn't attract many girls attention with short hair, no-one said I looked nice so I had nothing to loose. Besides I don't want a "conservative" girl to go out with since I know how that will end up... Your personality will radiate and attract women that in general are more liberal. However if a woman or man really loves you they won't care if you had long hair or a buzz. Women solely looking for long hair are as air headed(not really I love you gals) as the ones looking for pure short hair. Except the short hair preferred women you are a bit more kooky with their ideals(considering that I am a long hair man lol).
For whatever it is worth:
I put two 40 second videos on You Tube called "Women Love Men with Long Hair." It is most interesting to read the comments that really address this question. (More comments are in the 2nd one from women which can be clicked on if you are interested.) These comments of course are from viewers all over the world.
Click only if you dare cause everyone knows I an crazy and my brains fell-out many years ago. :-0
Take care-
Justin~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POZzG2lxia4
Well Eddie, I'm straight and happily married but I know for a fact that most women like longhair on men. When I have my hair down I get a good many smiles from them. They seem to like what they see and I remember that NOT happening when I had short hair. Personally I don't think I'm good looking at all but I don't care, they are always some girl out there who will think you are (hell, even Jack Black has a girl friend).
There are some women who do hate longhair but they probably have some kind of mental defect anyway so who the hell cares. Hehe.
Before I was married I often dated girls who said they never went out with a guy with longhair before and I've only been turned down a few times because of the length of my hair. Didn't care then and don't care now.
Once I asked a redhead to go out and she said she didn't go out with redheaded guys! Lol, I always thought that was ridiculous.
Anyway, happy hunting and don't worry about the hair, there's enough girls that like it to give you a wide playing field.
Paul
No problems here...I must say the only people I get negative commentary from are people who I am not interested in.
However, I am at the extremely long hair end of the range, which may skew things.
Hi There From personal experience I find that YES lots of women are turned off by a long haired guy. I had my fair share of rejections due to my long hair. However LOTS of women LOVE it on guys. I've had many good dates with such women that developed into relationships. Apparently they loved to "run their fingers through it"
DON'T cut your hair short for any women Its just not worth it. A woman should like you for who you are long hair included. I mean would you ask a women to cut hers ???? I rest my case.
Hey all,
I had long hair for over ten years till I cut it partly to impress a women. Needless to say she wasn't interested. Just be yourself and relax. I've included a picture of what my hair used to be like prior to cutting it.
My own experience with long hair is that it's more of an ice breaker than anything else. People who're attracted to you have an excuse to come across and give you compliments, or at least start a converstaion without it being awkward.
The usual first comment is along the lines of, "Wow! How long did it take you to grow that?" It's usually followed by something like, "It looks great. What's your hair-care routine? Can I touch it?" After that, the rest is up to you.
I am a female and in my case I notice long haired men before anyone else! However, no matter what he looks like if he lights up a fag (cigarette) my interest has gone completely (cant stand smoking!!)
I think its always difficult to meet people of the opposite sex and more difficult to find 'the one'. At the end of the day we all like and dislike certain things so being yourself is the only answer. If a Lady likes you as you are then it can only be good. If not, she's not the one for you, so dont waste your time :)
A lot of posts on this board have been about negative women dont like men with long hair but that's not the truth - some of us really do (yes, we are out here.. keep looking for us!!)
Good Luck :)
Good job I ahve up smoking 4 years ago :-)
Hello John.... lol
GAVE up smoking and added years to your life.
On the other hand a bit of red wine is good for the heart isn't it?
Thanks again for the input. We'll see how things go as we get into the nicer weather and I "let my hair down" more so to speak. :P
The only thing I DO know is...
...being single SUCKS. lol
Hi edward,
Women are attracted to confidence. Period! Courage, confidence and emotion. As long you have those, it doesn't matter whether your hair is completely absent or down to your a** (they will say different, but trust me). I got out of a 7 1/2 yr relationship about a yr & 1/2 ago. While in that relationship I kept up with all the standards ie: way a 30 yr old "should" dress, act, etc. I am a 31 yr old rock n roll/metal head guitarist, once out of that relationship, I started doing things again for ME. I'm a lot happier! I dress how I want and will grow my hair to a length I see fit.
You wanted examples, this one woman I "see" currently I met at my apt complex while I was doing laundry. I was wearing shorts (cut-off sweats), and old ernie ball tshirt and my awkward stage length hair everywhere. If you're comfortable with yourself, you won't have any trouble. You won't hook up with every woman you approach (this is still the real world), but it won't matter to you haha. Oh and if you're worried about the quality of women...don't.
I think the point of this topic is to take for granted the inner qualities (courage, et al--yeah, everyone knows that). It's simply a question of curiosity about what kind of difference long hair makes or doesn't make in attracting women, whether the type of women being attracted changes, and the general impression being made in the society of 21st century American women. One will get all kinds of perspectives about this, and it's very interesting to talk about. More of a sociological question than a personal one.