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How do you people take stares???? I see a lot of people kinda stare at me sometimes when were changing classes. Sometimes I stare at them back or just look away. At the beginning of the year I happened to look across the room and there was some dude staring at me. He was some redneck dude with a shaved head. Later his friend told me he said I looked like a fag. Also before in the lunchroom this guy started staring at me at a different table. He then sent somebody over there to tell me to get a haircut. But some people that I see stare at me look as if they may be growing their out as well. Usually whenever I see a guy with longhair somewhere I can't help but check out there hair. They probably think I'm staring at them but I'm just envious that my hair isn't that long yet. So I'm not meaning anything bad by it I just think their hair looks nice. So there are two types of stares I guess. The kind when somebody stares at some hot girl walking down the steet and the kind when you see somebody with something that takes you be surprise or you don't approve of.
*Sighs*. I know about that. I can't walk between a class (even when the rooms are right next to each other) without someone from a year below sniggering or making a comment :-/. Everyone in my year seems to be ok with me and my hair except the same 1-2 townies. The below years, wow...lets just say there's no hope for the future. It makes me feel really uncomfortable at times.
Any stare is a kind of compliment. They are noticing that you are special because you have better hair than they do - after all, that's why you can't help looking at hair that's better than yours.
So how should you react?
If you think they are just being stupid and trying to intimidate you, ignore them (like the fly on the all, a good comparison)
If you think they mean it as a compliment, just smile and acknowledge that compliment.
I was waiting at the doctor's a few weeks ago, and I could see an oldish lady staring at me. After about ten minutes she poked me with her finger and said
Whydo you have your hair in a ponytail?
Because it's long, I answered.
Why is it long? she asked.
So that I can wear it in a ponytail. I replied.
The reaction from the other people waiting (including a very attractive girl I have seen a couple of times) was to give me a big friendly smile.
So even stares can be fun, at times.
Good answer! ;-)
To make it into a nice geometric shape, I would answer. Don't you know? Shape, not size, matters!
Why would you want to hide it in a ponytail, I would answer.
Because if it's long, then I would wear it loose and proud! Period.
I understand your opinion, but don't entirely share it.
I don't regard wearing a ponytail as 'hiding' my hair. It isn't long enough to look long from the front (and as apart from one trim 8 years ago I haven't had it cut for 10 years it isn't going to start growing lionger now). From the back and sides it looks longer in a ponytail, and I think more people notice it. I think it gives the dignal that I have deliberately grown my hair rather than I have just let it get untidy - if it was a lot longer then I might do things differently - who knows?
Most of all, I like it in a ponytail and it feels right for me. I respect (and to a great extent envy!) those who have enough hair to be worth wearing loose.
I sort of think of the mullet.
Yes, that's about the length of mine, but it doesn't fan out in the same way.
Anybody got a keyboard that corrects your typing for you?
What's wrong with my typing?
Nothing, but ther is with mine!
I see!
Alan, the man is bald in front. Unless he shaves himself totally bald, he is going to be "longer in the back, shorter in the front". He's got hair down almost to his nips, and I'm sure he looks awesome. Hair that length sure beats beagle fur that won't touch the collar, and it makes this man "one of us". (I'd say the same two things about mullets.)
When guys get regarded different because of their hair length, they've crossed the line into being a longhair. People most often apply the label about the time your hair not only touches your shoulders but also noticeable falls upon them. Baldie the Eagle's got the hair, and he's also caught the flak for it. He's a brother. I, for one, greatly admire men who throw a finger at their MPB and grow great manes from their fringes. And when I've been to places longhairs gather, these men are always accepted as one of the gang.
If longhairs have any personality trait in common, it is one of individuality and a respect for the individuality of other longhairs. In one on-line group I belong to, one man suggested we have a hair contest of some kind, and he was hooted off the floor. One longhair summed up our collective feelings very well with the comment, "I don't want no stinking pageants, man".
And when I see you in your ponytail Baldie, I'll throw you a thumbs-up. I'm a mid-fifties guy with hair I've had to coax to mid-back length, and it sure ain't as thick as it used to be. I like the loose look and that is how I wear mine, but a longhair's gotta wear his hair like he likes himself. Isn't that why we all grow long hair - to be ourselves?!
And I very much respect you for going for a great look with the hair you have!
Guys, no matter what hair you have when you're younger, when you're older you will have less - in some form. It won't grow at all in some places, it will thin in some places, or it just won't grow as fast or as long. But the good news is it is very rare for a man to have so little hair that he can't grow enough to remain a longhair. Alan, you're about my age and you're struggling with a major thinning out and shortening problem yourself. The feeling seeing you evoked from me was compassion. I was surprised to see the mullet quip from you; I am suprised you of all people can't seem to put yourself in Baldie's shoes. Maybe you're dealing with some self-frustration there.... (sigh)
Many thanks for your words of encouragement and support.
Yes, we should all be tolerant, and I wasn't offended by the mullet quip.
At my age (47 and still playing soccer) I don't offend easily.
Good wishes to all, and keep growing.
Why would anybody say that you were offended by the mullet quip?
No reason, as I don't have a mullet, but it was implied that the mullet quip was to some extent offensive.
I know.
I didn't pay much attention to the "Baldie" part. "Longer in the back, Shorter in the front" reminds me of discussions about the mullet, which seems to be well-hated. Of course, a pony-tail makes the head look "Longer in the back, Shorter in the front." I know the mullet seems offensive to everybody, but that's what that saying reminds me of. Also, it seems that many don't seem to care for the afro, poofyness, frizzy, etc., but they sure love the ponytail!
Was he balding because the pony-tail was pulling back on his hair, or was he wearing the pony-tail because he was balding in front?
Hopefully these stories are simply lies designed to discourage people; but if the stories are true, then you are not alone and the quality of life in the USA sucks.
Maybe the problem has nothing to do with long hair. It could be the hair is too short, maybe the clothing, the race, being rich or poor, tall or short, big or small, Jew or Christian, immoral or straight-arrow, sports-jock or academic-scientist, straight A or D's and F's student, etc. If I missed anyone, maybe the boring person would complain of not being noticed.
I don't go to school in the USA, I live in England and yes it is true. I'm sorry that some of us don't have it as good as you, but you could learn to respect that.
It is bad in the USA too. I've always thought schools in other countries were much better, places where every student can be themselves without worrying about constant harassement and rejection. Therefore I mistakenly thought your situation was in an American school. I sorry to hear it is so bad in England too.
I don't know what to do to make things better. Many types of people put up with daily harassment. Others who crush their identity to conform to what is considered "normal" suffer, as shown in suicide, depression, medicating themselves with alcohol or drugs, etc. This problem is a lot more pervasive than most people think--it happens to many types of people. I don't know why so few want to make society a place where all people can easily be themselves. I thought things were getting better.
I doesn't seem like it was all that long ago that the long-haired metalheads were the guys everyone else in the school feared! Laughing at their long hair was certain to get you pounded into the pavement! Sure there were peaceful longhairs, but just the existance of hair on your shoulders or below was enough to make others think twice before messing with ya (even if you were a skinny little dude like me!)
yeah i know what you mean im 15 and when im walking to school people stare at me, i cant help but to look back and in classes some guys (they are all bald and wear baggy pants and stuff, im a punk rocker)stare at me, i seen some girls staring at me too and i stare back and they turn away, and i know this is out of topic but theres a girl i like but shes a lesbian and shes 15, and she didnt even knew i existed but now i think shes starting to stare at me, is it because i kind of look like a girl? haha i dont know................
How do you people take stares????
As a compliment :). Or make a stupid face back at them-no qualms about making an idiot of myself.
The girl thing mentioned below-if anything I get more attention now than I ever did. Real compliments too on how soft/beautiful my hair is and how much it suits me. I hear you about the staring at other long haired guys too (in a totally non-homosexual way) and thinking "damn I wish I had hair like that." I tend to say that to myself every time Rokker or Jin (at least I think it was Jin) post pictures here.
P.S, I never noticed but halfway down the page the posts turn into garbled gibberish and dissappear.
Gee, thanks for your kind compliments dude, it really made my day :))
Cheers,
Jin
The best way to deal with stares, I've found, is to not look for them, and to just glance away and not look back if you see someone staring. This completely deflates their sails, because if you don't look back, their stare is a total waste of their time. This also conveys the message that you consider yourself a stronger and more worthwhile person than they are, because it says you couldn't care less if they are staring at you or not.
Similarly, if someone speaks ill of you, often the best tack is to just act like it was surely directed toward someone else and ignore it altogether as well.
I am NOT saying to cower, not at all. Just go on like they totally don't exist - like you would treat a fly on the wall.
Just glance to make sure that they are not plotting to push you from behind onto the subway tracks or off the building! Sometimes, I freeze up and hold my ground so that nobody would accelerate me into danger!
Sounds like the Golden Rule: Stare unto others, and they will stare unto you!
Hey the stares are nothing, wait till your taking a piss in the boys bathroom and a teacher comes in and says what the hell, then you turn your head and he sees your a guy and says sorry i thought you where a girl. first day of school this happend and like every kid at my school knows about it. dont matter to me, i got a girlfriend and she likes my hair so i got it ok stares are complements to me, they tell me how long and great my hair is
I had a similar incedence happen to me because I think (and apparently others) my hair makes me look quite young. At only 28 years old, and a small frame, I still look a bit like a teenager. I walked into a school to work on the audio visual systems wearing shorts, and a pager. One of the teachers stopped me for the dress code violations and escorted me to the office. No amount of talking to her was I able to explain to her that I was a contractor. Once I got to the office though, the recieptionist recognized me, and said "Steven Glad to see you, we've been having all kinds of problems with the system in the auditorium! Thanks Mrs Garret for showing bringing him up her" The teacher got real read-faced, said thanks, and quickly left feeling very embarassed!
I've always found that a grin works the best.
If it's a heterosexual guy staring then he'll probably interpret the grin as a sign of utter amusement and apathy on your part, and if it's a heterosexual girl then she'll probably think you like her...win/win situation!
Living in California, I really don't get that much attention.
I'm quite fond of long hair. When I see long hair on a man I always look for a few seconds, then smile if he's looking at me. It would be extremely rude to ogle though. As far as the man staring at a hot woman being good, I hate it when men stare at me as I'm walking. It's one thing to glance at me for a few seconds and maybe smile, but it's disrespectful to have someone stare and not make eye contact.
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