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I'm just sick of it. I can't seem to get a job, people refer to me as the "jesus-looking guy" or something equally stupid, I'm stereotyped as a drug user or a lazy/dirty person, and it only looks good right after a wash it and the rest of the time it looks bad. I'm just beginning to think I'd be overall better off without it.
Was this picture taken right after a wash? Looks good to me, and based on that picture anyone who stereotypes you as any of that isn't someone I would want to associate with... Sorry to hear you have been having trouble finding a job, but keep in mind that at the moment many people are having that problem, from high school graduates to people with BA degrees and higher.
I agree 100% with Jann - remember the two week rule!!!! about a month ago I went through a phase where I seriously considered cutting my hair. Long hair is kind of a hassel at times (mine is really curly and frizzy unless I use a straightening iron, which makes getting ready seem like it takes for ever)and I actually was thinking about a going with a low maintenance, super short style, maybe even a faux hawk (i actually think those look pretty neat)but thankfully didnt act on the urge. After a week or so of wanting to cut it, I suddenly didnt want to cut it anymore and was sooooooo glad I didnt act on the urge. I dont know what I was thinking, as I now have gone back to not wanting to cut my hair for any reason at all. I love it, its a part of me after all this time, and the regret I would feel now would be unbearable. Ultimately, do what is best for you, your job, and your life. Its your hair after all. But just make 100% sure cuting it is what you really want, and that you arent makeing a hasty decision just because you are in a bad mood or having a bad day. By the way, I think your hair looks great!
I'm sorry you're frustrated. It's your decision obviously, but you've got a very cool head of hair...exactly what I hope mine looks like when it grows out.
Hear, hear! If I had thick black hair like that I would cherish it. You wanna feel sorry for somebody, feel sorry for those of us with thin flyaway hair that doesn't lend itself so much to length! Count your blessings my friend and stay the course.
If the comments and stereotyping bother you then the only options you have are to cut it or deal with it. However here is the opportunity to grow a thicker skin which will help you in other ways throughout life. Today it's the hair tomorrow it may be something else, you can't change people and you can't make them go away short of murder so your best bet is to learn to deal with their stupidity.
Jobs are hard to find for everyone short haired and long haired. It's very frustrating for everybody and I have no doubt you'll be very disappointed to cut your hair and still not find work as many others have done.
Your having a moment of intense frustration so my best advice is work through that first before you cut it. All this that I have said I'm sure you already know but I'll say it again anyway.
In the end if you cut it that's fine it's not the end of the world. I wish you luck in the job hunt and life in general.
Good luck
Kevin
Tie your hair back tightly, put the tail in your shirt, slick down the sides with lots of hair cream and put on a hat......wear it like this for several days.....look in the mirror often... is that the image you want to convey to please your "friends" and "future employers" ??
You have been with us a long time my friend.....take some time and think it through.
Walter
Hey Brazjol,
Most of the others have said what I would have but if I recall
correctly you've been a longhair for quite some time.I see no advantage
cutting you hair as things won't magically get better and you'll only wind
up a run of the mill short hair with the same problems.Unless you really don't
want longhair anymore I'd just hang in there my friend:)Cheers
Mark
It looks really great to me. Do what you think is best. Tommie
You've had long hair for a while and very cool long hair at that.
Remember now is a very hard time to find work for anyone.
When you go for interviews do you put your hair in a ponytail
and dress to impress? You can still have long hair and project
a neat and business like appearance.
Hi brazjol,
Ten years ago (on June 21st, to be exact), I felt exactly the same way as you're feeling right now -- and then I impulsively cut it all off!!
The weird thing about that Y2K haircut is that I had not planned it whatsoever. I just woke up that morning, "on the wrong side of the bed", and impulsively decided on that very day that I was fed up with long hair, "needed a change", and was ready to go back to short... Unfortunately, once I fully realized what I had done a few days later, I deeply DEEPLY regretted it.
Not everybody does regret it when they go short, though. I knew a woman once who grew up having long, luxurious hair; then suddenly cut it very short one summer. She apparently loved her new hairstyle so much that I remember her telling me, "I never want to have long hair again!"
Everybody is different.
The thing to keep in mind, however, is that it takes a looooooong time to grow hair; but cutting it off only takes a minute or 2.
As far as jobs go, if you are really worried about your long-haired image preventing you from getting one, rather than cut off your hair, why not consider doing something different w/ your beard and/or mustache? Even if you were to decide to shave it off completely, it looks like it would only take a week or 2 to grow it back to your current length (whereas your head hair will take YEARS for it to grow back to the length it's at now). Also if you tie a hair-tie around your hair tightly, slicking your hair back close to your head, that will also present a very conservative image (and a segmented ponytail even moreso) -- or as Walter suggested, tucking your hair INSIDE your shirt is another idea I've seen successfully done.
Up to you, though.
You have GREAT-looking hair... I'd just hate to see it go, unless you genuinely feel you'd be happier with it short. Just don't cut it on impulse, or when feeling depressed -- neither of those times are when a person is thinking very clearly.
My best to you!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Thanks to everyone for the suggestions and kind words. I think you're all right- my hair probably has little to do with my employment status, but it's easy to find a scapegoat when it seems my life is going nowhere. I don't want to rant too much about personal stuff, but basically I've been very depressed with my general living situation and my self esteem has plummeted because I haven't had a steady girlfriend since I broke up with my previous girlfriend in July, not to mention I've been unemployed since then, despite applying to dozens of places over a period of several months. I suppose it's just the economy though. I have a BA but that doesn't seem to help.
Urban Cowboy, I took your advice and decided to change my facial hair to sate my desire for immediate change. I will stick to the two week rule for my hair, though I doubt I'll make it. I've been having thoughts of cutting my hair for years, but I always change my mind before the two weeks are up. I guess it's become part of my personality. Looking back in my life when I had short hair I always wanted it long.
Anyway, I know you guys probably don't care but I guess it feels good to talk about this stuff to people who don't just say "Yeah you should cut it, that's why you're unemployed. You should just fit in with society." (My women friends tell me not to cut it but only because they are jealous of my hair). You guys know what it's like to be a longhair. It's not because we want to stand out or break the rules of society. It's who we are. Maybe I'll cut my hair at some point but I know I'd be a longhair in the long run, regardless.
That picture was somewhat out of date, so here's a more recent picture, from March.
I took this today after shaving/reshaping my beard. Man, I don't know what I was thinking with that moustache! Looking back it made me look a lot older, and probably less friendly looking somehow. Hopefully now with renewed confidence and a slightly new look I can find a job or a woman who can make me happy. Thanks for the support, guys.
Hey brazjol,
That's great news that you have reconsidered cutting your fabulous hair my friend:)If you had, you would have come to the reality that nothing really changed other than your hair is shorter.Give it time, as the economy improves jobs will start opening up.As for the departure of your gf,its only a matter of time and someone else will discover you and will love you and your beautiful hair!Lots of people are in the same boat so just remain strong and you will endure.Remember,only the strong will survive.Keep in touch and don't be a stranger.Cheers
Mark
Dear friend,
Believe me, cutting your hair won't solve your personal problems. Being unemployed and alone have nothing to do with your hair and deeply inside of you you know that, don't you?
It sounds that you need a change. So the hair is the easiest thing to pick, isn't it?
I love my hair long so much that everytime it gets really long I start with some.. "experiments" until I get it all damaged with chemicals and then I have any other way to go, but cutting it.
I heard here some severe critics about it, and they were right, whenever I cut my hair I gave some excuse. (You can see that my case is a little worse than yours.. LOL...) When I need a change, I always started victimizing my hair before having to cut it short.
That's not the way. It's not your hair's fault being alone or without a good job!
Why don't you try doing something good to yourself first? Go to gym.. or start painting.. or go to dance classes.. or do volunteer work while you are unemployed. Getting to know different people may open new doors for you and maybe one of those doors can take you to a new job or a new carreer or a new girlfriend! You'll never know if you don't try something different.
Doing the old thing and keeping the same old thoughts and habits will bring you those same old results and those won't do anything good to you.
And regarding the love thing, I know it sounds very "cliche", but it's true, trying to find your happiness in another person will only bring you frustration. I can tell you that by my own experience. When you give yourself the proper value, feel fantastic even not dating anyone special, you'll run into the special one. I thought it was bullshit, but it happened to me. When I realized that I was alone but not lonely, that I liked a lot my company and had my free time fullfilled with pleasant activities and good friends, I found someone special.
Don't blame your hair for the things you didn't get. Remember that you didn't YET! And YET, does not mean FOREVER!
It's natural to feel this way, but for that matter we, people who care about you exist to tell you words of confort and courage.
By the way, the beard is good, but I would go for a goatee. You have a cute face for any looks.
Good Luck!
Hi Brazol,
I have echo the others comments and I know it's diffcult in the current conditions and I do hope you do find a new job soon and I'm also please to hear you have renewed outlook and as I always say onward and upwards and hopefully longer.
Do keep us in touch with how things go.
Cheers,
John.B
YIKES!! It always scares me whenever I find out somebody actually tried my advise afterward (LOL)!!
I like this pic here, as well as the one of you after you re-shaped your beard -- you look great either way, in my view! That's the fun thing about facial hair: it's very easy to change it and try something different; then just as easy to go back to how it looked before. I go back & forth between a goatee & full beard all the time myself, sometimes looking very "shaggy", while at other times deciding to make myself look all tidy neatly-trimmed. Whenever I know it's time for my annual job performance review, I always do the latter (LOL)....
Anyway, the happy news of the day is: I'm so relieved to hear that you are NOT cutting off that wonderful hair!!!
Take care, -- and happy job-hunting!
Long Lox 4ever,
Ken
"...basically I've been very depressed with my general living situation and my self esteem has plummeted because..."
Of course we care !!
When I get in that frame of mind, I find that doing volunteer work really puts me back on track. Libraries are great places to restore self esteem.....working with folks who are in real dire situations (hospital, senior homes, shelters) also helps one be grateful for what they have.
Of course, a daily dose of MLHH always cheers a fellow !!
Hang in there my friend !
Walter
Hi Brazjol,
one more option to consider is one that I went through an interview with--and got the job.
Perhaps you feel you really DO need to cut it to be marketable; How about a compromise. (I will probably get big flack from everyone here for saying it), What if you trim it to shoulder-length; not collar length. Just touching your shoulders, and do all the evening you want to do, and make it look great. True, it does loose maybe a year's worth of growth, but once you get hired, you can just let it grow naturally, and not have to start from that awkward stage etc.
This happened to me; I got an opportunity for a new job completely out of the blue, and no time to cut my hair shorter or anything, but it was near shoulder length. The new agency liked my hair long, and just hired me. As I got to know them, and they me, I just kept growing it! In a year you'll be back to your current self, and not have to go through the weirdness of a business haircut. As I remember, you never looked awkward at all in your initial stages of growth, and you just looked great the whole time. A new employer will get the hint that you like long hair, but it will still be very neat, and a new look for you.
As for the Jesus thing, count yourself lucky; As I have a long beard, and grayish hair I get the MOSES thing; Jesus made it to his early 30s, but MOSES was like 900 years old!!! Such nonsense.
As it turned out, my "New" job likes my long hair, and they like the beard; and we are supporters of the upcoming National Beard Competition in Bend.
They sort of "grew into" my long hair look, and your upcoming new job / employer may well warm up to you growing your hair to it's full potential if you start somewhere in between. You are blessed with very nice hair, and it really suits you.
Lucky you never really experienced the awkward stage like some of us did!
Best of luck in whatever you decide.
-Daniel
Dude! You have really great hair, would be a shame to get rid of it. But, I do understand you must do what suits you. I as well get the Jesus...Hippie...Doper comments and I just let them roll off me. Luckily my supervisors and the big-wigs at work are cool about mine. My DM loves mine.So I am lucky in that aspect. Possibly try ponytail with multiple ties to keep it out of the way or a bun if nothing else. Keep us posted and good luck.
Charlie
I have heard that all before mysel, keep the hair dude, the fussings will pass and you will indeed find yourself in a position where you can have the hair and a good job.
I would keep my hair if I were you. Admiration from others comes and goes, and if you did happen to win your colleagues' respect after cutting your hair, it's rather uncertain how long it would last, as they would later probably assault you for something else. And, typical as it is from minds of that calibre, they ALWAYS do... So, no, don't take unnecessary sacrifices.
Good to see you back Nikola. I always love your posts. You seem to think philisophically a lot just like I do (this board has only seen a small bit of how truely insane I am... unless I'm sane and you're all crazy! or maybe neither are real....)
...
ANYWAY :/ ... Good to hear from you, wish you would post a little more often.
Greetings from the padded room,
Jarvis
Thanks, Jarvy, it's just yet one of my innate gifts, really...
As others have said, its anger and frustration talking. And its easy to blame your hair because everyone else does. Just remember that its YOUR hair. And you can always come here when you need support.
But it seems like you're realized this already. I was a little late to the punch. So I'm glad to hear you're not going to cut. Now back to listening to MGMT...
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Jarvis
Hang in there Anthony!
These "gray cloud" periods in life will pass.
I see so many long haired fellows gainfully employed in every imaginable field, that I can't see you remaining unemployed for much longer. For interviews or other "first impression" encounters, just tie your hair back neatly.
Fly that freak flag proudly!
- Oren