new thread
Hi guys,
I have just discovered this forum and I would appreciate your help.
I have very curly and frizzy hair. I am growing it out, to the dismay of my employer, and I am still in the ackward phase. Because it is so curly, it hardly gains in notorious length over the months, it looks as ackward as 3 months ago, despite when I pull it, it has grown quite a bit.
I made the mistake of having cut it like a bowl about 16 months ago. I then had another haircut about 8 months ago and cut it in a bowl shape again. Results, my hair looks like a palmtree or like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. I wasn't intending to grow it back a year ago but I seemed to get the love for it and now I want to grow it up to my shoulders.
I get a lot of compliments about my hair, even from guys. People love my curls (I love them too) and it has grown as part of me. I am naturally rebellious and non-conformant, and I love when the curls blow in the wind (although my hair ends up looking worse as it sticks out and doesnt hand loose). Girls constantly ask me what I do to my hair or if I do perms. They dont believe me when I say that I dont use anything at all and just wash it with water (or soap if I have been sweating a lot and only to remove the smell). My curls are a part of me, I have yet to meet another male with a hair like me so I consider it a blessing (although it is a bitch to keep). By the way, I have seen some pics from you guys and you all have lovely hairs too in their form (straight or wavy). I just haven't seen yet one guy with hair as curly as mine and shoulder length as I would like to.
Anyway, I need some directions as to what to do now. The hair which I used to cut (temples and back) are growing but are still only 2 inches which creates a Sideshow Bob effect, especially when seen from the front. My plan is to continue to grow it, no cutting whatsoever. However, by the time these areas reach 6 inches, the hair on the top will be much longer so I don't know if it'll look odd. The idea of cutting just one hair bang from the top of my head makes my stomach turn (literally, I have invested 16 months and gone through bad times but the hair was always there).
I am posting a side pic so you can see the differences in length from the top hairs and the ones on the sides/back. I think I can only post one pic so I will try to post another one in the following reply. I took a day off work today and I was on my bed reading online about long hair and job discrimation, so my hair looks all over the place. Normally, it looks better (but not that much haha).
I would appreciate any directions, feedback, opinions or experiences from other keen longhairs.
Thank you very much.
Roy
We had a member a while ago who went by the handle of Mr. Crow (he was a teacher) who had curls like yours.
I think he still lurks from time to time - but he posted some fabulous pix on how he looked when he had just a bit more length than you have - link below from the archives.
Thanks for the link. However, I believe his hair is actually shorter than mine but it looks longer because he didnt cut the sides or back. You can see that from the pic where he is jumping. Had I not cut my hair in the back and sides in my previous instances, I am thinking it would look great like his.
The real issue I see with my hair looking like a palm tree is this. I try to picture the same length of curls spanning all over the back of my head as they do on the top and my hair would look longer. I actually had to crop the sides and back due to a corporate issue. In fact, as things are going, I might very much be soon be requested to get a haircut or leave the job. I am very gutted about this, growing one's hair is an investment in time and effort. I have had nightmares about cutting my hair, I am that fond of my curls by now.
Many thanks for the answers.
From the front with the aforementioned Sideshow Bob effect due to cutting it like a bowl.
I would also like to enquire how to deal with the sideburns. As I work in sales, I have to gel my hair back (with a lot of gel so it holds) and because the hairs in my sideburns and front part of the temples are still short, they stick out. I would like to clip these areas as I have seen that many guys with shoulder length hair do this for the side burns and the minimal area on the front of the temples.
Ideas please? I am starting to look like a hippie (with all due respect to hippies) and I have to keep a neat look when I go to work. As the hair is so curly, these areas stick out no matter what as they are still very short. I also do not want to grow the hairs in these areas as they will inevitably not look neat in a corporate evironment.
I know I am asking a lot of questions but I am glad I found a forum such as this so I am going bonkers with questions.
Many thanks
Roy
Everything looks great to me.
What I do for my sideburns is to put on my glasses and cut everything below them. Not very scientific but it works for me.
AndrewB
That is actually quite a smart idea. I will try that.
Thanks
I don't think your hair looks awkward at all. I agree with your friends who think your curls look fantastic.
Your hair looks nice, too bad for the bowlshape! I don't really like uneven hair since i'm very picky!!
When I had very uneven and very damaged hair I buzzed it off and started growing it again...i'm just at 3 months and a half now and my hair's still short. :)
I don't want to give you bad suggestions, the important thing is YOU must be satisfied with your hair!
-Andrea
Hi Andrea,
Of course that is your opinion that you don't like uneven hair, and you wanted to start from a buzz again.
But as a community we are here to help and support people and give good advice to new members like Roy. I think Roy is off to a good start and his hair looks great and over time and as it grows longer it will even itself out. My hair was uneven as I went through the awkward stage and Roy has already been through that.
Well done Roy and we look forward to your future updates and of course a support network for you.
Cheers,
John.B
Thanks for the answers.
Another question. Is it normal that my hair cumpls in streaks? As you can see in the pic, the hairs clump together in a half centimeter diameter, sometimes more, and I break them up as they form knots. They also feel a bit oily (as expected) and I am not sure if I should be breaking apart the joining of all these hairs to make a streat or only do so when I get a knot.
If I try to break apart the streak, I will encounter tha hairs are gel so I have to pull apart hard with my fingers. This then leaves the hairs almost indidually separated but they remain suspended in the air rather than hanging down as they used to when they were clumped into a streak.
I dont know if I am making much sense but this is the best explanation I can give. If you look at my frontal pic and see the curly streak running through my face, I could easily insert my finger at its base, and run it all the way down but I will encounter resistance as the individual hairs are joined together to form the streak.
I try to not use anything on my hair, just water (and some soap 4 times a week). I will use a very strong gel once a week but in 4 weeks time, I will have to use such gel everyday as I will be in an environment where free flowing or even tied long hair is frowned upon.
Many thanks
Your hair looks superb - I am jealous.
I suggest that you you ignore it for the next six months - keep it as tidy as you can but let it grow. By that time the difference between longest and shortest will be a much small proportion and that will help enormously. You may feel that then some might adjustment of the very longest only would help.
Ignore the nonsense about starting again.
O.k. I have a potentially stupid question to ask concerning the employment's objection to the increasing length of your hair (which looks quite nice by the way). Can you simply use a hair net at work? It will keep everything up and compact for them while eliminating the need to keep cutting for you. Just asking.
I work in the business field so nets are obviously not a possibility. What I do so far is gel it back with extra strength gel, make a ponytail so it is all tight and then before getting to work, I release the ponytail and due to the glueing effect of the gel, everything stays tight sans the ponytail. It also gives the effect of making my hair look shorter than it really is.
Ponytails are also not allowed when visiting clients or in the new work environment I-ll be moving to in 4 weeks.
The problem is, this trick will only work for the short term as once my hair is longer, it will be almost impossible to hold back together without recurring to the use of a ponytail instead of using it to hold everything together for 30 minutes and releasing before entering the workplace.
I have very curly hair so I know the pain you are going through. If it's cut the wrong shape then it makes the awkward stage so much harder.
When you are not at work try wearing hats or buffs for the next few months. Curly hair doensn't show that it grows, but it sure grows alright! It takes ages for the hair to start obeying gravity and stop flying all over the place.
I think the best is for you to keep it in this shape until it's longer than your goal, and then cut it to the proper shape - otherwise it will never seem to grow (I'm talking from experience).
Good luck!
Shawn