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Hi!
I recently stumbled onto this site, prompted by frustration and an understanding as to why I took this path. Here is a pic of me, approximately 3 months ago, at approximately 24 months of growth.
Around two years ago, I was getting my hair cut by a new stylist, and she wanted to me to grow my hair out a little bit. At the time, my hair was extremely short (#2 blade). I was going through a time in my life where I was redefining my physical avatar, so I went along with it. After waiting an extra few weeks, I went back to see what she could do with it; however, she ended up cutting way too much off. In fact, I was irritated that my hair had been cut it all. It was MY HAIR! It was then that I decided to grow my hair out; actually, it was then that the I went with the deep feeling that I previously had for years to grow my hair out.
And it's been quite the journey! It seems that every few weeks, I would have to try something to make it look presentable: gel, cream, brush, blow dry, air dry, silicone shiner. Often times, what worked for a particular length failed long term, I would have to adjust amount, type, or brand, or seize the use of it altogether. I remember the length when it would stab me in the eye, when it fell into my mouth the first time, when I was first labeled as a longhair, when I was first called "ma'am." Some days I would absolutely love it and how I looked; a week later I would want to chop it off. Everything cycles.
My end goal has always been a bit nebulous. I've wanted a lion's mane, an epic fantasy warrior's hair (see Cecil from the Final Fantasy 4 video game). Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai also had awesome hair, though I would like it longer than that. I don't know exactly where that lands it, but I expect somewhere below the shoulders, possibly mid-back. I don't expect to want to grow it to the tailbone or classical length, but who knows? For a long while, I've existed at the mental stage where growing hair is an inseparable part of who I am.
So this brings me to what has caused my recent existential crisis, at least regarding my hair: an inability to feel comfortable with it down. I was able to pull the entirety of it back in one tail at the bottom of my head at approximately the 2 year mark . Prior to this, I didn't feel comfortable with a half-tail. Around that time, the above picture was taken.
Now, I am actually quite embarrassed about the above picture: I can't stand how my straight hair decides to do a 90 degree curl at the end. It looks like little girl's hair! I want it completely straight! The last time I went to the stylist, a few weeks before this picture, it came out completely straight, silky, beautiful. I loved it, but I can't figure out what they did differently to it, except the water. Perhaps their water is cleaner, and there is something in mine that is causing buildup in my hair. I've tried a straightening iron, but my thick hair just laughs at that ineffective appliance! So, for the past several months when I'm out in public I generally only wear it in a ponytail.
However, I've completely missed having my long hair out in the open, and enjoying it as a part of myself. I began wondering what to do about it, considering chopping it off, etc. In a way, it felt like I had lost my direction in all of this, forgetting what my journey had taken me through, and how I've become stronger through it all.
An additional distracter has been difficulties controlling my hair during my martial arts classes. My art form requires a lot of rolling and flipping in the air, which always cause my ponytail to come out. I've noticed that it is easiest to get the tightest hold with a new elastic tye, where I can get three loops around the tail. Inevitably, it will stretch, making it loose, and then I'll have to wait until it stretches out a bit so I can get four loops around the tail. However, every class ends up the same: you'll see me on the sidelines tying up my hair every five minutes. It's getting to the point where my hair is effecting my ability to concentrate on what's happening and impeding my progress. The half-tails seem to stay in a bit longer, but it looks really goofy with the half tail sticking out really far. (maybe some pictures would clarify the point...)
So, does anyone have any ideas regarding 1) the weird curling of the ends; 2) keeping my hair up during sports?
This appears to be a very supportive community, and I look forward to being a part of it. :)
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A hearty welcome Polynikes. This is a very supportive community for sure. I have been here for almost 7 years.
Let me try to answer your questions.
Your hair is curling at the ends due to your shoulders being in the way. It can't grow through them, so it has to grow around them. With twice your current length (about mid-back) your hair will be past your shoulders and should straighten out.
I have the same ponytail tie slipping problem too. I ride a bicycle for exercise, and sweaty hair gets slippery. I put on two ties, one on top of the other. The inner one I loop thrice and the outer one twice. This will give better hold for sure. When they get stretched, and oily, I wash them with dishwashing detergent. This shrinks them back to near original size, and when stripped of hair oil, makes them hold nearly as well as when new. They eventually get threadbare and worn, and have to be tossed.
I am reasonably sure that this will work for you. Greater hair length may help the tie to stay put better as well. You can then tie it at the lowest possible point which makes slippage less likely.
Scott
Welcome to the Board! It is indeed a very supportive community, and a great source of hair-related knowledge (and some other stuff).
The curling at the ends of your hair should straighten itself out with some added length, at least my hair did that. A ponytail was my weapon of choice during that period, so I can't really give you any other advice, sorry.
For the slipping ties, as Scott said earlier try double ties. You might also want to try different ties, some might use more slip-resistant material than others.
Not incredibly helpful maybe, but I do what I can.
//Sebasthian
Welcome
Growing it about 3/4 inches longer should see the flaring disappear. The extra weight works wonders and it will be past your shoulders. In turn this should mean a tail will be much safer.
Hi Polynikes and welcome to the mlhh:)Thanks for posting your picture as your hair looks so perfect.As for your questions I have to agree with what Scott mentioned below.More length will straighten your hair naturally and his idea about the hair ties is a good one.Even I haven't thought about doubling them up.I find as the ties stretch out they are less effective so then I use new ones.
Anyway glad to have you here and do stop in often:)Cheers.
Mark
Thanks for the suggestions, guys!
Synchronistically, I want to the store today and they a type of tie I hadn't seen before, one with an inner ribbon of stay-put material, like sticky rubber. Plus, they were extra small. So, I'll wrap my tale up in two of those puppies and see what happens. If I'm still having problems, they also had the headbands with the inner material, as well. I'll everyone know what happens.
Also, thank you for the encouragement and good news regarding my hair length and the curling. I realized, too, after reading the comments, that my hair is falling against my shoulders, especially with rotating or sidebending my head. I greatly look forward to the time when my hair is not only completely on my shoulders, but past it.
Still, this doesn't solve the mystery of how the salon so magically straightened it. They shampooed it, conditioned it, left it wet for the hairdresser, dried it after shaping it, and then it was straight. It could be the water, type of products, or temperature of the drier (I doubt the attachment on the drier's end had anything to do with it, nor the technique of drying.) Wish I knew a stylist personally so I could ask them the question!
Welcome to the group... I remember my bottom flip well. Hang in there in no time it will go away. There is great advice to be found here, just ask away. Good luck on your journey.
Charlie