new thread
Hey guys and gals. I have been looking at this forum for a while. My interest in getting long hair has been around as long as I remember, but I have never been 'allowed' to. As a kid it was school and parents. In college my girlfriend didn't like it. The workplace was strict.. You know how it goes.
Well I finally have the chance to grow it! Kinda.....
The thing is I am an English teacher in South Korea. I started growing it out when I realized the hairstyles here aren't my cup of tea. I have always had short hair, but occasionally let it grow a bit because I LOVE the feeling of it. So I decided this is the time to grow. The only problem is that Korea is pretty conservative and appearance is EVERYTHING here. I can't talk to 99% of the people I work with, so I don't know how they feel, and I want to keep my job! I already shaved my beard, but the growing process will take a while and I am worried they won't be as patient as me. My hair seems to grow on the fast side of the spectrum, a tiny bit under an inch a month I think. I have been growing for about 3 months. It is really curly when it gets longer, so it looks shorter than it is.
I guess the question I am asking is 1. What would you say to co-workers and bosses to respectfully ease them about the transition, and 2. can anyone suggest nice transitional hairstyles? I tried slicking it back with wax, but my hair doesn't want to lay down! 3. How long do you think I have til I can reach the all important 'tie back' checkpoint? To be honest love the wild curly look and if I had it my way I'd let it just do it's thing. Here are some before & now pics.
Sorry to re-post right after my initial one. I have looked on the site for a way to post multiple pictures in one message, but no luck. So that was the hair length I was around September. Here it is today (Nov. 16).
As you can kinda see it is a tangled mess (How I like it) But not really standard to the preference of people here in Korea. They are nice about it, but sometimes I get pretty odd comments "It looks dirty," or "Seems silly," and the all time worst "Long hair is for girls only!"
I know that some of it can be on account of a limited English vocabulary, but the sentiment is the same. What is worse is that I live in a VERY rural area and it is pretty ridiculous to them.
So I guess on top of my previous questions about hair, I also need to learn how you vets put multiple pics on here! Thanks guys~
That looks superb and really suits you with the beard. The untidy look for curly hair is brilliant How long do you plan going?
Difficult to know how to advise you on persuading those around you - maybe try to persuade that it is common in the west and indeed parts of Asia. Hong Kong for example, whilst hair is straight rather than curly there are many long haired younger people. Maybe some photographs of others.
Either way, keep calm about and ignore anyone who says anything. They will get used to it even if some will inevitably talk behind your back. South Korea will catch up with the rest pf free society over time.
Good luck!
Thanks, unfortunately most Korean girls I know say clean shaved, short hair is the way to go... I don't know if I want to go terminal or even past my back yet. I think I am going to go to the shoulders definitely, then play it by ear from there. I would like to get it at least to mid-back, but I am not sure how my hair will manage like that. It is think and the one time I actually grew it out for a little bit during college led to a huge afro!
I appreciate the advice. Lets just hope their dislike for more hair doesn't lead to a job termination!
Maybe in about 6 or 7 months I will post another picture when it is warranted, but for now I am playing the waiting game... And i have little patience.
An update would be very good - keep your cool and ignore those that complain. I would add that even at its current length it looks exceptionally good and suits you so if you do find mid-back creates too much comment this length would be good.
It seems odd to me that people would comment on the hairstyle you have in this picture. I thought that the messy, awkward stage length style was very popular in Korea (and East Asia in general). I do, however, understand that actual "long" hair is much less common. As far as growing a beard goes, many Asians are genetically unable to grow much facial hair, so that will certainly make you stand out. If you receive negative comments from males it may be due to jealousy.
I am certainly not an expert on this subject but I have been dating a Korean girl for 7 years and been to Korea several times. She preferred when I had a shaggy "Beatles" haircut but is getting used to the new (presently shoulder length) long hair and is accepting of my choices. Her dad actually used to have long hair (shoulder length), but he didn't tell me or her until after I grew mine out! That was a big surprise to me. Her mom is very into fashion and trends so whether or not she likes it depends on that, haha. You are correct about fashion and following styles being extremely important in Korean culture.
Sorry, I rambled a bit at the end there. But it's my personal experience with Korean people, so take that however you wish, haha!
-Dan H.
~ For the most part it seems the "messy" mid length hair is meticulously shaped and styled to look messy, but is actually sculpted to look trendy. Since my hair is curl when it grows it looks different too. Also I am an elementary school teacher and they all my fellow teachers are at least 45 years old, and very professional guys.
Thanks for your reply. I have gotten some compliments about my hair from other foreigners, but I am worried if it can't be pulled back in July of 2011 i will be in trouble!
Hi,
first at all, you've got a fantastic head of hair and comparing the pictures it even seems to grow pretty fast!
Nice cat aswell. ;)
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This is difficult a difficult one...I don't really know what the Korean social rules are, but unless they ask you, don't say anything about it. If they make comments (which you say some people already did), just try to stay cool and don't let it get to you. Make them feel safe about it by giving the impression that YOU feel safe and maybe they stop bothering. The less you care the less they care aswell. Generally it is that simple, but practically not at all. So give simple and short answers not to make this too complicated. Maybe say it's "just hair"/"it's just my hair" and that they don't have to worry and make clear that you are still the very same person (do not put too much emphasis on the latter, otherwise the think the opposite is true)? Or that longer hair is quite usual in other cultures...Important: Do not get too emotional about it, stay cool and friendly while giving explanations.
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and 2. can anyone suggest nice transitional hairstyles? I tried slicking it back with wax, but my hair doesn't want to lay down!
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It is not healthy at all for the hair, but maybe some strong gel and hairspray would help to slick it back (I woldn't use chemicals unless I had to)? Important: don't comb the hair after the treatment, just wash it first to get out all the chemicals. Otherwise you could rip it apart. Sometimes hair is more likely to stay in shape if you always comb it the same way, so maybe after some time it woud get used to be slicked back and you would need lees gel. Also it does make a much more professional impression when the hair is out of the face and people might care less about it.
The awkward stage seems more complicated with curly hair (at least regarding a professional look), as I know from my own experience. Luckily I went through it when I still went to school, but I really have no real idea how to properly deal with it, if I go throgh that later in life.
If using gels try to use natural ones, maybe there are also natural hair-sprays (made with honey?). I have no idea about the effectiveness...
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3. How long do you think I have til I can reach the all important 'tie back' checkpoint? To be honest love the wild curly look and if I had it my way I'd let it just do it's thing. Here are some before & now pics.
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I also like the wild look!
It usualy takes about 18 months from a very short hair style to reach pony-tail length (low pony-tail). Maybe only 12 for you if it continues to grow like that.
BTW If you choose not to go for long hair, your current hair-style would maybe be a kind of compromise? And it seems not to make TOO much trouble... ;)
Anyway, just keep it growing, relax and stay professional!
Good luck!
Herb2992
Hey, Thanks for the quick reply!
I know exactly what you mean about keeping your cool. Usually it would be easy enough to not worry with what people thought. But I have evaluations every 6 months that could get me ousted from the program, and subsequently out of Korea. I too am a little clueless about Korean social norms and culture even after being her for almost a year. I guess trying to downplay the topic is the best I can do while simply trying to impress them with other non-haor related aspects, heh.
I avoid product for hair like it was a virus. It feels awful, usually smells awful, and just leaves me feeling greasy. Kinda against the whole reason to grow hair out anyway. I never had a part in my hair either. I know there is nothing wrng with parting it, but when I try to see what it looks like I feel silly.
Though you are right about this style being mostly a no-fuss length, I really want shoulder length at the VERY least. There are a few reasons why I have always wanted Long hair, but never could. I am determined to getat least long enough to tie back. As far as I am concerned, this is the beginning of the awkward phase for my hair.
Hi Rux,
Welcome to MLHH -- and what a fantastic head of hair you have to work with!!!
Take it from an old fart like me: it's worth it growing your mane out, you will definitely not regret it, once you make it past that difficult "in-between" awkward stage.
Here are some random comments / suggestions of how to successfully make it from point A - Z (your hair currently maybe being at around "point C" now? - LOL):
1) No real need to talk or justify or explain much about it to anyone -- just quietly keep on growing growing growing, until each day you wake up in the morning, you find your hair getting longer looooonger and even looooooooonger (by which time, all the people around you would have gotten well used to it by then)!
2) If you do an excellent job at doing your job excellently, hair will be a non-issue. Period! ('Nough said!!!)
3) Whatever it takes to get you through the awkward stages -- be it gel, hats, hair-spray, or half-ties -- just DO IT!
4) "Sticks and stones may brake my bones; but hair slurs can never hurt me!" (In other words, don't let another person's nasty or negative comments deter you from your ultimate goal of successfully growing your hair out.)
5) When people ask you "why?", just keep your answers simple, and something that they cannot argue with. Here are some examples: "because I've always wanted to try it long"; "because I think it will be fun to give it a try!"; "because I like it that way", etc., etc....
6) When/if you have to firm in order to shut them up (if someone just can't let the subject go), then do so (but here again, KEEP IT SIMPLE) -- remember that it's YOUR hair, not theirs (so YOU are truthfully the one in charge here)!
7) Approach the majority of questioning comments with plenty of humor -- only the most obviously negative, blatantly anti-longhair, & nastiest statements deserve your middle finger (but USE IT if you have -- that's why we have that one - LOL)!!
Hope my comments will help you achieve your goal!
Long Lox 4ever,
Ken in San Frnacisco
I would call this great advice from Ye Old Sage of Long Hair, but I think Bill has that title wrapped up. He's got that really cool "Gandalf in tie-die" look going [grin]. But it's still great advice!!!
Frodo
Yes, I couldn't agree more -- Bill has that tie-died Gandalf look nailed down to perfection! Also, if you have ever noticed most of Bill's pics where he's wearing a bandana (which is about every single pic I have ever seen of him - LOL), the color of his bandana matches either his shirt, the nearby flowers, or something else worthy of notice in the background, etc....
My all-time favorite pic of him was taken in'03 or '04 I believe, when he & Larry were down in New Zealand: the purple Lupine flowers along the roadside were the exact same shade of purple that he had as a bandana around his head that day -- amazing!
- Ken
Above is the New Zealand picture. The link below shows more recent pictures with my beard long.
Bill
I forgot about all those great pics from the CA poppy reserve, as well as the colorful shaved ice with the yellow on top -- in those cases, your bandana didn't match; but it was the perfect COMPLIMENTARY color... Did you master-plan it this way to work out so color-coodinated when you woke up in the morning, or something? (LOL) Or maybe this is just your everyday sort of wizardry in the latest of longhair fashion designs, since you are related to Gandalf!
- Ken
My bandanna matched a purple shirt with white lettering I wore that day, which you can hardly see in the photo. And the shave ice was colorful, so I went for it.
I usually just make sure my outfit matches (shirts and bandanna in particular) each day. Then if I see a scene that day which I know would look good with me in it, I get in it.
In this photo, for example, my shirt and bandanna matched, and the waterfall I knew was a continuation of the flowing of my beard, but only later did I notice the rocks in the shirt matched the rocks behind me!
The bandanna came from a gas station in Idaho and the shirt I found in a truck stop in Michigan, just a mile from the Canadian border, so I get threads from all over. If I see something that will match something else I have, I snap it up!
The key to having a unique look that you "own" is to learn what looks good on you as for colors and style, and then to always be on the lookout to pick up anything that fits your look and maybe as well items you already have. For example, that shirt I knew would flow together with my beard, and I knew it went well with my white hair and blue eyes. What you go for must also reflect your values. I go for nature, animals, flowers, items reflecting the American West, hippie stuff, rock bands from that era, and the like. And my look must convey my love of beauty and peace. Besides wearing shirts or bandannas that reflect these things, I enjoy getting pictures of me in locales that do, or locales that are unique. I also don't get clothes that show other people on them at any level of prominence, because my look is about me.
My belt buckles hardly ever show much in my photos, but I've recently had one that shows items associated with California, and now I have one that has a pewter-colored Celtic knot design on it.
I would encourage all of you to "be yourself" in choosing a look that speaks to what you value and who you are. A look that goes well with long hair will complement the message that your hair conveys, that you are a man with a strong and cherished identity which lets all who see you know that you are a man who owns himself.
Bill
Very well said Bill, as always!
Very well said, Bill!
When I first started gardening back in the early '90s (during my first time growing my hair out), I used to buy a lot of T-shirt from The Nature Company. One of my favorites had a large catepillar shaped in a ? in front (with the caccoon being the round dot at the bottom), then on my back was a Monarch butterfly -- I wore that shirt until it finally became totally unwearable with holes & rips, etc.!
Nowadays I tend to prefer plain-color T-shirts, apricot & peach tones looking often the best on me; but then again, I also like to wear black a lot.... it's very "slimming", as they say (LOL)!
- Ken
Proof that Hippies have style :D
Good to see you Bill, hope you are well.
Yes, good to see you drop in. I'm an occasional visitor now as well. I guess I figured out my hair was going to grow whether I visited MLHH or not. [wink]
Bill
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Here is my flower power photo. These were growing in a front yard in Kensington. The blooms are huge, about 6 inches across. The seed pods were up to 35 millimeters in diameter. Such a pod would contain 15 to 20 thousand seeds. (I based this on a 21mm pod holding 3800 seeds.)
Some selectively bred strains can produce pods as large as tennis balls, and are available in seed catalogs. The empty pods are good for arts and crafts. One Stop Poppy Shop comes to mind.
Please excuse the hair net. I was on my bike ride and it keeps hairs from getting sucked up into my helmet.
Scott
Hi Scott,
No reason to apologize over the hair net, as I often wear one of those whenever I'm at my cooking job (and if not a hairnet, then I have to wear a hat -- understandably, health laws are such so that customers don't have to find hair in their food)!
Awesome-looking poppies there, Scott! That's the garden variety (one of many). In Bill's pics, those were all wild native species of our state flower, the CA poppy!
Off to work now....
Later,
Ken
Looks like you missed my house by a few hours' drive! Where did you go on that trip? Happen to visit Dunedin?
-Charlie M
It was along Highway 8 I think. We were going between Christchurch and Queenstown. We did not get east of Highway 8, so that is as close as we got to Dunedin. Beautiful country where you live, man!
Bill
Wow, you couldn't match that bandanna unless you painted it!
That is an awesome look, I am still using beanies, but I look forward to having enough hair to justify a bandanna.
I think you have my dream-beard. Fingers crossed mine kicks in during my late 20's.
I already had that bandanna on. When we saw the flowers I just knew they'd match, so we pulled off the road and took the picture!
As long as your hair will reach from your part to your bandanna so your hair won't get pulled out by the wind, your hair is long enough. Remember that if the top hairs are that long, the hairs rooted where the bandanna is should also be that long, so you'll have plenty of hair sticking out underneath.
This is something you just won't know until it happens, or doesn't. A lot of guys don't get their maximum beards until they are that old, so don't fret about it now.
By the way, I just got a new accessory for my beard today. A Santa hat! The preschoolers who live down the street saw me carrying it and I put it on for them. They were impressed! And one pointed out it would look better with a red shirt. Now there was a kid already with a fashion sense!
Bill
Old Geezer you definitely aren't my friend!
Ummmm... Did I say something wrong in my reply to the guy who originally posted this thread? I guess I missed something here -- either that, or I'm a bit confused...
Please feel free to enlighten me, Charlie, as I've always been a big fan of you in the past, and assumed we were always on friendly terms here!
Thanks,
Ken
I think there used to be a member or maybe just an visitor a few years ago that was in the same situation as you. I'm not sure what happened to him. Maybe someone will remember.
Do your job well, don't make waves, and keep your ever lengthening hair conservative.
You do have an advantage maybe in that you are not native to South Korea. You can be "that crazy foreigner"
Bruce
Just put flowers in your hair and think of the lower west side!