new thread
So after a long wait, many tests, and polite dissidence, it finally happened.
For anyone who knows my situation, I was trying to keep my job as an English teacher in Korea while joining you fellow long hairs in the pursuit of God-given locks.
That struggle officially ended today as I have been informed that I will no longer be teaching, or living in Korea. By this time next month I will have gone from My dream job of teaching children across the world, to flipping burgers in McDonalds.
I asked why I was being relieved of my position, and they said that although my performance was good and the kids/staff liked me, I couldn't keep the neat appearance and professional look that the school deems necessary for the teachers. Officially, the rejection cites 'hygiene', Which stings to a person who takes pride in daily shower routines and a multitude of deodorizing products. I wore the same Polo shirts and khaki slacks as the other teachers. So apart from all that, the only conclusion is that I am being kicked out for my hair. Facial hair, and cranial hair.
I have tried slicking it, which didn't hold all day (I have a very active class session) I have tried parting it, I have tried everything under the sun except the one thing they want me to do....cut it.
Now I understand when people say that you have to have the dignity to walk away from prejudice and not to let bad employers get you down. Except this is a little different. Even if I could find another job like this, it would be 6 months down the tube applying and waiting for the season to start again. Not only do I have to go home because my Visa isn't being renewed, but I also will lose the kids and fellow teachers I have grown a bond with during the year here. I know I have the chance to come to Korea/ another country in the future under a new employer, but it isn't the same. I was hoping to see my 5th graders off to middle school (as corny as it sounds,) but that is out of the cards now.
I hate to put a pity thread in like this, I told my family and they mostly told me I was an idiot for not cutting my hair.
It would be nice to hear about your experiences, or trails while growing. I always find more inspiration from other people.
I am past the pissed off stage, and the upset stage of moving all my stuff and booking a flight back. So fun is fun, and done is done. I more or less just posted to vent and see if anyone else had similar happenings.
Take care,
Rux
I don't really have any advice but I wanted to express how sorry I am that this has happened to you. It's disgusting that this kind of prejudice still goes on.
My hair was short when I got my present job. I never had any problems though when I grew it out. I do an office job in which I have no contact with outside people so maybe that's part of it.
I'm really impressed by your steadfast refusal to cut your hair despite these consequences. Hopefully you can find a better employment situation. Try to keep positive!
Jason
Hey Rux,
I don't think you're an idiot at all. In fact, you should be applauded for sticking to your guns! I'm willing to bet that you'll eventually find another "dream job" that will allow you to be true to yourself. I know you're looking for inspiration from others right now, but I hope you realize that you are an inspiration yourself! Best of luck in your search and keep it growin'!
Brett
Hey Rux,
I don't think you're an idiot at all. In fact, you should be applauded for sticking to your guns! I'm willing to bet that you'll eventually find another "dream job" that will allow you to be true to yourself. I know you're looking for inspiration from others right now, but I hope you realize that you are an inspiration yourself! Best of luck in your search and keep it growin'!
Brett
I'm sorry for your loss(es). I have not been in your exact situation but I have been forced to cut my hair by my employer. I worked at a bowling/game place as a server and was told that if I wanted to be schedule for next week I had better go get a cut. I gave in because I felt I really needed that job, even though I realize now I didn't.
You inspire me because you risked this great job, kids, and country that you love to stand up for the natural right to grow your hair as you wish. I only gave up a minimum wage (horrible tips) paying job. You will not be alone in this my friend-I too will risk a job if my hair is in question. If a man cannot have something as natural and as right as his longhair then what can he truly have that is of any value?
Thank you for posting this and I hope you find better success and a better employer who respects you as a human being rather than a comformist employee. Oh and thanks for being a teacher-you all really do help open people's minds.
----------------------------------
Maybe a little revenge would be good, since they are not likely to be a good future job reference. Announce to the whole world, on the internet, just how discriminatory they are. I don't know how effective this would be, considering it is a school.
This tactic can be very effective if it is a profit driven business. Lots of negative feedback can cost them tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost business. In this down economy, that can really hurt.
Scott
Here's the bottom line: do what makes you happy. If your passion is to be a long hair and express yourself any way you please, then go with that. If your passion is to teach and inspire children, go with that. You have to do whatever is going to give you the most pleasure in life, and not what anyone else says.
It really saddens me to see that something like this happened in today's world, let alone at any time. Look to the horizon, and don't stop your search for the place that will let you have your cake and eat it too!
Best wishes,
Rich
This was my experience.
I cut my hair off due to pressure from head office / other people about the length of my hair and how short hair was more professional. I thought I liked it at first because of the attention it brought me, but I soon came to realise that I had actually made a mistake because I was still unhappy in that job, and now I had short hair and I had to start growing all over again because I cut it for all the wrong reasons but did not realise it until it was too late.
So if you had cut your hair you may have not been any happier even though you got to keep the job.
I actually ran into the woman who cut my hair off today and she still really wants me to cut it, and is annoyed that I refuse! Its funny how something so simple as hair length can cause so much conflict, eh?
-Kif
You did the right thing in standing up for your right to express your self-identity as a brother longhair. God will not abandon you; when one door shuts another opens.
Ray
Sorry to hear about your terrible news. This sort of thing makes me angry- society in general has grown to accept things like sexism and racism as a social faux pas and growing your hair should be treated as the same. You have my upmost admiration for sticking to your guns despite the inevitable consequences and the fact that your principles come before your job is a great character trait. It inspires me in my long haired quest and should do to others. Keep growing and remember we are all behind you.
Well, yes it was very stupid of you to have to give up your job and even worse is that mcdonalds is minimum wage especially compared to teaching. But I'm more pissed off at those dumb-ass employers of yours. How can they give you away to McDonalds because of your long hair. If your performance is up to scratch and the staff like you then what a waste. Oh, well it's their loss.
Good job for sticking with your hair though. Nothing more I pity than seeing someone cut their hair because some retard demands so. This country needs to grow up and accept people's choices. Firing someone because they have long hair is no better than firing someone because they're black. What is happening today is a disgrace and it's thanks to the people on this board I didn't give my hair the chop. Our society is a disgrace and were the ones who need to stand up to it. Thank you for doing just that.
Mitch
Just leave a fan running in your boss's bedroom at night.
*slow clap* Well played, sir. :)
(At the risk of killing the joke by explaining it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death)
Korea and similar Asian countries have a reputation of being very conservative and, some being communist or ex-comminist, have very strict views which put appearance alongside morality. E.g. Here's a BBC article
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/4157121.stm
They use propoganda and are very staunchly against men with 'long' hair, even a few inches. I am surprised you didnt know of this cultural difference before you went out there.
What you need to do now is lick your wounds, stand up, re-write your CV (resume) and get yourself another job doing what you love - teaching kids, preferably in a more culturally acceptable country and remember - the world is your oyster - so get out there and do it. Concentrate on your skills and use this experience as a learning one.
And remember - no doubt you've got some of those Korean kids thinking.. I want hair like that one day.. :)
You love it so keep it long, good luck and move on!
The BBC article is about communist North Korea, whereas I'm pretty sure he will have been working in South Korea. I thought only Sarah Palin got them mixed up, LOL!
Nevertheless, that part of the world is far more conservative than the West. The odd part of that is that the standards they are imposing are ones they originally got from us, although the conservatism is something of their own.
Yes and its all Asia & China... and very conservative
p.s. Sarah Palin?? who is that???
Hi Rux,
WOW, how terrible an ordeal to have to go through. I'm totally shocked at their rude behavior towards you; but, on the other hand, Korea definitely has a very different culture and social standards from most of the English-speaking countries like the US, the UK, Canada, Australia, NZ, and most western non-English speaking European countries. I am so sorry for your loss.
It does not sound "corny" to me at all, re. what you said about looking forward to seeing your 5th graders move forward into middle school. Years ago, when I was in my early 20s, I worked for 2 years as a teacher's aide in a small private boarding school back in my home state of Illinois, in the Chicago area. I totally LOVED that job!! The only reason that I left it was because of deciding to pursue another career direction at that time.
Re. your parents' negative comment... [sigh]
I had a father who thought in the exact same way. He has passed on a long time ago; but up until the very day he died, he was as extreme in his views against long hair on men as I am extremely enthusiastically IN FAVOR of seeing long hair on men!
In the end, even though we dearly love our family members and wish they would give us full support, ultimately it only ourselves who can decide what is best for us -- what is best for the TOTAL PICTURE (including our personal happiness over our own hair)...
It's amazing how some people can view hair as if it's such a simple thing to let go of, nothing of any "serious" value to hang onto -- and so we are all fellow-idiots for not rushing out immediately to go get the nearest short haircut, right?
To some people (like to your parents, for example), just cooperating with a short haircut is about equal (in emotional value) to cooperating with a simple request to no longer wear a loudly colored tie. Easy. Just change your clothes over to wearing a more traditional-looking tie.
Unfortunately, though, for those of us who are strongly attached to our hair being long, it is an issue of our self-identity -- and a much more primal, deeply important natural-born right to have.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It is a sad one at this moment; but years from now, hopefully only a sad short chapter in your own much more glowing history book.
My best to you.
- Ken in San Francisco
Hey!
I read your first post on this board in September and tried to give advice ...I feel very sorry for you being fired for such a ridiculous reason (hygiene?!). Even worse: You loved your job and now can't ever see your students growing up etc.
I hope you find a good job in your home-country that accepts you for who you are. Your employees obviously didn't...But then again there is a totally different culture in Korea.
Shaving off the facial hair probably wouldn't have helped in the long run, too, I guess.
So, as you started your "hair-mission" I recommend staying on the path, even if it's hard. Otherwise there was no point to it at all. Don't let the negative get to close to you, think positive and eventually you become a teacher in your home-country (or somewhere else). I wish you good luck in the future!
Cheers,
Herb2992
I taught English to children for a year in Korea. When I applied, I had long hair, and I kept it for the entire time I was there. It was not a problem at all for anyone.
Were you at a public school or a hagwon? It's possible the hagwons would be more accepting of peoples differences as they are not government run.
If this really is your dream I wouldn't give up on it. You can always apply to other schools.