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Hi fellow longhairs (and wannabe longhairs!),
First things first: you are probably wondering why a loud-mouthed long-term longhair like me would ever write advise for the "shy & timid" - right??
Well, the answer to the above question is very simple: I used to be quite shy & timid!
Also, in getting my hair to its current length of being at or near to my belt-line, a lot of folks here may not realize that I have a looooooong history of failed attempts in growing it out when I was younger -- not to also mention my infamous disastrous short haircut of Y2K that taught me a huge life-lesson (that I needed to commit to being a longhair for life)...
When I was a kid, including during my teen years, my dad would not allow even the slightest bit of hair length on myself or my 4 brothers -- in fact, we were given mandatory crew cuts at the beginning of every summer (see attached pic -- although we were "cute" back then, trust me when I say I HATED those damn haircuts!) -- something that was NOT considered "cool" during that era!
By the time I left home at age 18 to be on my own, even though I immediately grew my hair out a modest amount (AKA "long-ISH"), I never seemed to muster up the balls to grow it out as long as I secretly really wanted to do. Plus, during my early adulthood years, my first few jobs all had hair-length restrictions for males (AKA "
dress code").
By the time I finally had a job that DID allow long hair on men, I was too worried what others around me were going to think (because I had been thoroughly brain-washed by then, I guess)...
So, here is my advise for the similarly shy & timid, who are hesitant to grow their hair out all at once: just grow it gradually, one day at a time (hair grows that way, anyway). If you caved in because of some short-haired person near you who made a nasty comment about your shaggy mane; just pick up wherever you last left off, and grow your hair back again. If you'd feel less outside pressure from others for you to cut by just going in for a modest trim or re-shaping now & then, if you feel that gets family members or [so-called] friends off your back for awhile, go ahead... Just realize that most of what we might view as "outside" pressure to cut is actually SELF-IMPOSED pressure to cave in to another's willfulness and unfair domination of you.
It's YOUR own hair on YOUR own head, not the family member's hair or "friend" insisting that you should keep it short (regardless of their stated so-called reason). But hey, if taking it gradually is emotionally and psychologically easier for you to handle right now, that's OK. I understand. I used to think that way myself, too (although that now feels like a long, looooooong time ago now - LOL)....
Happy (eventual) growing!
- Ken in San Francisco
So....Which one of those mischief makers is you? I was luckier I suppose, My father not only was a construction man, he owned the company. So when his second son (that would be me) decided, upon seeing the Beatles in February of '64, to start combing his hair differently, he accepted it, but only until the next time a haircut was due. I refused. Discord insued. but I won that battle. Dad relented and let me grow out my hair. thinking I would cut it due to social pressures at school, etc. Did not happen. I was among a small but growing group of kids in school that soon appeared sporting what was considered "Long" for the mid 60s (would be considered nearly a corporate cut today) And it continued to grow. I along with several long hair friends (we stayed together for safety as much as common interersts in music , art and cars) also introduced Tie Dye,Harness boots and Bell bottoms to our HS. By my senior year of HS I had hair most of the way down my back, this would have been in'69. I wore it loose more than in a tail, but I do believe my good grades kept me out of the principals office. My parents accepted this and as long as I kept it "clean and neat' I would hear no discouraging words. Also had no problems in University and after graduation, My 1st jobs were always with firms that were fairly forward thinking and by the mid 7os. a long haired dude was fairly common, anyhow. Why I cut it was of my own doing, I was moving up the ladder, and it was now 1980. so I trimmed it just a bit, then again ,and again, by the late 80s I had a cut that ,along with my Moustache, made me look like a double of Jeff Foxworthy. That look stayed with me through the 90s and the 2000s, the length varying only slightly. I had been giving thought to letting it grow, when last year, about this time. I found a large group of old friends form "Back in the daze" and a large meet was being put together, what we called a "rendezvous" I decided in March to stop getting my hair trimmed, to grow it out for this timely Soiree'. But. then I decided to just leep going, and here I am. betailed and enjoying it. It will keep growing and in time, I will once again have the "silken locks" of so long ago.
Huzzah!!
If you look at the dorky smile, you can tell I haven't changed much -- whether you're looking at the dorky smile of me as a 12 year old, or looking at my current dorky smile (LOL).... Only the hair length has changed (plus lots of wrinkles, a beard, and extra added pounds)!
Yes, you were indeed lucky (as stated in your narrative, below). Sounds like your dad was an all-around nice guy -- and smart, too!! It's fun to look back at pics of ourselves from the past. Just by looking at our hair length and styles, most of us can tell what year it was!
Thanks for the nice reply, Jason -- and so glad you're growing your flowing locks back!
- Ken
If only we could apply the same logic to the I.R.S. and say NO, THIS IS MY MONEY THAT I WORKED FOR AND EARNED AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY OF IT AWAY FROM ME THROUGH TAXATION! Both people and government nowadays have such a need to control others that they've put surveillance cameras even on our streets! It's like a societal sickness! So when we walk somewhere, the fact that we've been punched in the face, we threw up in the street, we picked our noses, we scratched our butts or got dumped by our girlfriends could be potentially watched again by the whole world and stored away forever! Isn't it depressing?! Why the heck are people allowing this to happen in the USA without protesting?
A society unfortunately needs taxes to function. The problem I have is the continued tax breaks going to the wealthiest people who could most afford a larger share of the tax burden. My biggest complaint is the trillions of dollars going to the American military and its two endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I agree with you completely about the surveillance thing. Americans gave up their rights with hardly a whimper. The terrorists accomplished their goals.
The smile gave it away ;).
Thank you for this post...just more affirmation that growing my hair as long as I wish is the right thing to do.
I have many times given in to my own weakness of listening to others and severing my hair only to look like everyone else and what others want me to look like.
Longhair for life is the right idea!
For me growing my hair was a life lesson in itself.
I used to think like you but at one point I decided to go for it no matter what other people thought about it. That made a great difference and I was able to grow my hair to belt lenght!
The lesson I learned is that I can do anything I want and don't care about what other people think. That can be applied in a lot of other areas although I'm still struggling sometimes. But that first victory helped me a lot.
Hey Ken,
I read your post with great interest. I'm a long hair wannbe.
I would like to discuss my particular situation by way of email exchange. I would greatly appreciate it.
God bless you!
Raymond
Hey Ken,
That's some awesome advise you have! I only wish I could have seen something like that or had the courage to stand up and say NO HAIRCUT to my previous employer! That being said, I think I learnt that lesson the hard way, and I will never be too shy to stand up to any employer about my hair every again!
-Kif