new thread
Hey guys, I've recently decided to stop lurking from the shadows and start posting! Im 16, turning 17 in May, so Im still young. I've been growing my hair out for over three years and I couldn't have my hair any other way.
So anyway, on to what I was going to say. Recently my parents have been telling me they are going to get my hair cut. I'm aware that im living under their roof and all, but still. I've grown emotionally attached to my hair and the thought of cutting it makes me feel as if I was going to die. (Yeah, I can't help it.) Why am I telling you this you ask? Honestly, I have no idea. Ha...
I know some of you have gone through with this unreasonable deal, so I was hoping to maybe receive some advice.
Moving on...
Question of the Day: Have you ever had a long-haired friend cut their hair and you were so used to them having it, you felt as though you didn't know them?
Pictures to come later on. Have a good day everyone!
I understand exactly what your going through. i had long hair in highschool when i lived in germany, my father was an army col. he said i had to get a short haircut to get on the plane to go back to the United States. i have never forgotten the horrible feeling i had at being cornered like that. i joined the U.S. Airforce not long after, so i would have had to have it cut it anyway. I will be 52 this year and this is the longest my hair has been since highschool. I am a long hair inside and out and always wil be. LIfe is short i will fight like hell to be happy and be myself the rest of my life. i feel for you, you are just starting your life , its not easy i know.
i wish you and yours the best. your friend James
What happens if you just say "no"? Will you get kicked out, or just get a dirty look of disapproval? Will they just keep bothering you about it, or will they hold you down and forcibly shear off your hair? What is at stake if you simply refuse to cut it?
--Val
I agree Val as I would "just say no" about the haircut and force them to look like fools having to pin him down and forcibly cut the hair.If they go that route it could even be considered abuse of a minor and the parents could get in big trouble.Is something as insignificant as a little long hair on your son worth that potential problem?In a year he could move out and not have to deal with such unreasonable people.
Mark
Hi Azagthoth,
Each awkward / unfair situation is different, depending upon all the different players involved (including your parents as well as yourself), the potential consequences if you don't cooperate, etc. etc....
When I was young, I eventually left home at age 18 in order to to not only grow my hair out, but also to gain my freedom from an over-controlling and abusive father; but it cost me my college education -- something I don't recommend anyone taking lightly, especially in this day and age.
However, everybody comes from a different situation with very unique individual problems and circumstances. So, your situation might be very different from what I had to endure when I was your age.
In other words, nobody can solve your problem as well as you can, yourself. But, I can tell you this much: regardless of what happens, NOW is the time in your life for you to focus on school and getting excellent grades -- that will make a huge difference for having a more promising-looking future (or, conversely, for having a bleak one).
If you get excellent grades in school, chances are that your parents will no longer care how long your hair gets...
End of old geezer's sermon!
- Ken in San Francisco
For the most part I agree with every one else who said to just say no & stand you ground. But I feel I must get this off my chest:
You've been growing for three Years, and they're only threatening you with haircuts now?? You've got to be out of the awkward stange by now so that can't be it. And after 3 years of growth your hair must be pretty long by now so your parents can't be completely against it.
I obviously can't say for sure but maybe its not the fact that your is long that is bothering them, but the fact that they think it is getting "too long". Because if this is this case than its not so bad. Its still pretty bad, but its not AS bad.
Firstly, you HAVE to talk to them about this, for they have to understand that this is entirely your choice & has nothing to do with them.
You have 4 options going in to this:
-you could agree to shorten it; but doing this even once means they've wone & will never stop
-you could agree to keep your hair the length it is now, atmost untill you move out; this is as close to a victory as you should let anyone else get in regards to your hair, your hair might not get much longer durring this period, but atleast it wont be getting any shorter
-if you don't already have one, you could set a (temporary) goal length, and agree to keep your hair that legnth atmost untill you move out; who knows, by the time it gets to the new length your parents might have gotten over their hair length issues
-and of couse the option that seems to be favoured by pretty much everyone on this site that still has to answer to someone else, is to say no & stand your ground, and see how long your hair is willing to get.
Personally, I'd say that any of the bottom 3 could work for the time being. But it really depends on how strongly your parents want you to shorten your hair, and more importantly how happy you are with its' curent length &/or how determined you are to have it longer than it already is.
Good Luck
Unfortunately, they are the rule-makers, so if they want to they can force the issue. I've been there and resent my parents for that to this day. I'm now 37, so they can't tell me what to do any more, but there are still hard feelings. I've seen this question on this board before, but I've never seen anyone suggest inviting the parents to this board to see some of the opinions of other long-hairs. This could have mixed results, so it's your decision, but it's an available option. You know your parents and should be able to judge what their reaction to this board might be.
Good luck and keep growing if you can!
If they tolerated it two months ago, when it was an inch shorter than it is now, why couldn't they tolerate it at that length now? You could keep it at that length until you turn 18.
Well, it's a good idea to share that here, because you'd get lots of support, i.e., "Me toos". Long hair is part of your identity as it is for many of us, and the problem you are facing is that a man's identity is formed well before he reaches age 18. Some of us have wanted long hair since grade school, and we never feel whole until we get it. This can cause one to be very self-conscious, and this can interfere with social development. If you have a longhair identity, not having your hair is NOT HEALTHY.
Yeah, that feeling was right up there with how I've felt about folks who've changed their sex. To me they are not the same person, and it is like my friend has died. I don't even recognize guys who've cut off their hair anymore. I had a longhaired next door neighbor cut off all his hair, and after awhile I thought he must have moved away, because I hadn't seen him in over a year. He had passed me on the street lots of times since he cut off his hair but I had not realized I knew him. After I found out he had cut his hair, I KNEW he was the same guy but I didn't FEEL he was, and friendships are powered by feelings. Yeah, it was like my friend had died.
Bill
I used to tell my mom sometimes, (she was my only parent) I'm not giving in no matter what you do, and act like I was ready to stick to it. It deflates them sometimes. Don't you dare cut it. I don't want to hear that.