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So, since I have been growing my hair I've had no problem with people shouting slurs at me for my long hair or anything until today. While walking home from college this old Indian man started yelling at me saying that I looked like a girl and a transvestite. This really annoyed me but the surprising thing is that some people walking by decided to stick up for me telling the old guy to harass someone else. Despite this being my first encounter with discriminating slurs, it saddens me to think that this guy, an immigrant to my country who is allowed to practice and preach as much of his own religion as he likes, has a problem with me doing practically the same thing.
Hey MitchN,
Unfortunately this kind of thing still happens more than it needs to. I never did fully understand why people get so bent out of shape over men with long hair!
I have heard a number of such comments over the years but I tend to just ignore them and look at where they are coming from.
Thankfully I live in a community where longhairs are aplenty so as a general rule I do not stick out much as a longhair because I could go for a walk to my workplace (7 minutes away) and probably encounter about 5 longhairs just in that walk alone!
Don't let that man's ignorance get to you.. He's probably just jealous anyway!
-Kif
It's nice that others stuck up for you. If I were you, he would have had a face full of my fist right quick.
To be fair, the vast majority here are immigrants in some way, so I don't think that's an issue here. The man was clearly wrong here, so don't think I'm defending him at all. What's wrong to me is that he feels he is allowed to shout terrible things at you for the way you look, but I bet if you made fun of how he dressed or how he looked, he'd make sure you'd be in jail for a hate crime.
Are you from the us or another country, personally i dont think i would have not let it go unanswered. revenge is a dish best served cold.
Sorry to hear you were harrassed regarding your hair, but it's cool that you were also defended by complete strangers. I don't agree with the comments below, encouraging a response with physical violence. What he attacked you with were just words, and although a response with words is certainly warranted, I hope people remember that to react violently would only serve to reinforce a negative and (hopefully) inaccurate stereotype about men with long hair.
--Val
Choice, 'turn the other cheek' or else give the silly little man some serious abuse.
I get mixed reactions at my school. People who know me seem to appreciate it as a layer of my personality and identity, but folks who don't know me (especially jocks) tell me to cut my hair and occasionally levy slurs.
I wonder if America will ever become a place of true independence and individual rights, or if we're always going to have majorities motivated by power and profit. It seems that practically all politicians are destined to work for their own gain, rather than that of the citizens.
I apologize for the divergence from the root topic, but it'll be hard for longhairs to enjoy tolerance and appreciation in a world where conformity is highly preferred over individualism.
Venya
Don't take vengeance, neither verbal nor physical, as I don't think that man will thus be brought to his senses - more so if, as you wrote, he is at an advanced age and has been nursing such beliefs for many years.Vengeance in general produces no constructive effect: violent retaliation eventually leaves you remorseful and unfulfilled, while the intellectual approach, at least with majority of assailants, exudes little to no peaceful agreement.
In a nutshell, play deaf and devote your attention to those who'll actually know how to value you. And there still ARE people of such minds, our hyperboard being just a part of them.
Hope I helped.
Many men from the middle eastern part of the world are very conservative and intolerant of long hair on males. When I first saw the word INDIAN in your post I thought are you meaning North American Indian or overseas Indian? Also it is a possibility that the guy was a PAKISTANI and they were once a part of India before 1948 but are almost wholly Muslim, but biologically they are Indians.
I would have been very surprised indeed if it had been a North American indian as they generally respect long hair in their culture. Hindus and Sikhs and most of India's religions would respect long hair on men. This guy who lashed at you was probably not from India but from a muslim country nearby. I would have said to this intolerant migrant something along these lines " Love America and it's diversity or leave"! If a migrant comes to your country they should at least accept or respect your country's basic values for better or worse. Indian Sikhs I know grow hair long but also cover it up as a form of humility and humbleness before the creator. They also believe that cutting hair goes against the wishes of the divine intelligence that created humanity meaning we should accept what we are meant to look like.
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I would have simply told him, I don't date men so stop hitting on me, go find yourself a real girly transvestite. Stop getting turned on by my hair and please don't look at my a$$ either.
LOL - classic.
Lot's of interesting responses but I would agree that in your case violence would not be an option.After all he only blathered at you so at best you could have gave him a pithy response back.That certainly would have been enough and then just move on from this miserable man.Hopefully you get more positive reactions than ones like you just described most of the time.Cheers
Mark
I was at a WWE pro wrestling show a few years ago (for those who dont watch pro wrestling, probably 75% - 80% of the wrestlers have hair that is at least shoulder length. mine was mid back at the time), and as I was walking though the crowd to my seat, I kept hearing somebody screaming as loud as they could "CUT YOUR HAIR!!! CUT YOUR F***ING HAIR!!". I thought the guy was yelling that to one of the long haired wrestlers in the ring but when I turned around to look he was screaming and pointing at ME! I will never understand why another person's appearance, whether hair length, skin color, clothing, etc is such a big deal to some people and why they are so intolerant.
Thank you guys for the support. It's really encouraged me to continue growing my hair, although I wouldn't let someone like him discourage me anyway. But for clarification this guy was an Asian Indian not a North-American Indian and my country is New Zealand.
Walking home from school today this idiot was there again doing the exact same thing as he was the other day. This time his kids joined in too and no one was there to back me up. I expected this because this guy waits out the back gate of my school so he is obviously there to picks up one of his kids that go to my school. I have never seen him before, he has only been there since the other day and I'm not sure how long this guy is going to be there and harassing me about my hair until something is done about it. How should I approach him about it. Should I talk to him and maybe throw a couple of smartass comments here and there or should I give him a taste of my foot through his face. I understand that the latter would do no good to the name of longhairs but I know someone (a shorthair) who is willing to teach this guy some respect. What should I do because I won't put up with this guy if he's going to be there every afternoon. He should be glad I grow my hair out of choice and not from religion, otherwise I could get him for racial discrimination.
Ignore him and any accomplices completely unless one of them physically touches you, and file criminal battery charges against all of them if any of them do.
The best tack against bigots is to ignore them completely, because it puts them down more than anything you can say. Ignoring people tells them you think they are nobodies not worthy of any of your attention. However, if they touch you, you have to protect yourself, and any reasonable means you take to do that will legally be self-defense.
Bill
What country or state do you live in? there are ways to deal with him but it depends on where you live. James
In the UK it is a crimminal offence to harass and cause distress to others, that includes waiting ourside gates (stalking) and verbal abuse of any kind. Check out the law and make a formal complaint to the school/college and cops (personally I dislike most cops but at least its on record). If you ahve a camera or phone, get a mate (or yourself) to record it all and use it as evidence - every single day and every single time. What he is doing is unacceptable behaviour and if he now has others shouting at you - it' bullying and 'incitement to cause hatred' (another criminal offence over here). And it will get worse. Nip it in the bud NOW!
I agree with ignoring them. Why would this guy say this in the first place? well, the same motivating factors for all of us to do anything. He wanted to feel better about himself, and he felt that verbally harassing someone would improve his self esteem because regardless of the actual outcome of the discourse, he will leave feeling like he is a champion as long as you take the bait.
Like others have said, this man has no doubt been nursing these views on society for a very long time. and theres nothing you could say to him that would humble him, or even bring an ounce of logic to his eyes.
My favorite way of dealing with it is to not feed the attention starved. I generally look to see who's giving me shit. lock eyes with them for no more than a few seconds, just long enough for my facial expression to be clear. clear that I care less about what just happened, less than i do about a fly buzzing around my head. and then I just ignore them, people like that aren't even worth an ounce of effort from you towards them.
Since most of these hecklers are just fishing for reactions anyways, nothing pisses them off more than to find out that there was no reaction, and they are now the public spectacle not you.
this also made me think of a song lyric I enjoy
Violence is just an incomplete thought, coming to a complete stop.
No doubt this Indian man you speak of wasn't a Sikh.
Where do you reside?
this sounds atypical of Florida.