new thread
Basically I'm a small skinny dude. I'm 5'7 barefoot and I guess for a guy I have wide hips or something. I've been growing my hair out again (I had it very long when I was young, cut it in highschool and now have it back to around my waist) but basically I get mistaken for a woman A LOT. Normally I wouldn't let it get to me, but when people don't correct their assumption when I turn around... it starts to get to me. Do any of you have an suggestions (other than beards, I grow a terrible embarrassing patchy pubescent looking beard) on how to... well basically not get mistaken for a woman?
Hi TheGrandMrD,
You certainly have impressive hair and it sure is long:)First I would suggest you can easily have uprighted your pic by selecting the rotate either left or right option just below where selected your pic to post.I was just getting a stiff neck trying to look at it before deciding to rotate my laptop.lol.As for your dilemma I'm surprised the persons who made the gender mistake didn't correct their error.Maybe they were just that embarrassed they just didn't want to correct themselves.Since you don't want to go the beard route all I could think of is a T shirt with the following text on the back..."I'm A Guy!".Of course your long mane will block most of that so make sure its printed at the bottom near the waistline.Sorry for this funny suggestion but I'm not sure what else you could do but maybe some others here might have a better idea.Good luck.Cheers
Mark
If your facial hair is lacking, consider developing an unmistakeably manly physique. Note this image of Glenn Danzig, who, clean-shaven at a height of 5-feet, 4-inches, was probably never mistaken for a woman.
--Val
Just consider it a compliment about your hair and let it go. I guess this shows how far we still have to go in the world of assumptions! [I fixed the pic a bit and attached here.]
I'd go with this too. And also consider what it says about the speaker.
Sad to say there are still some ignorant b.....ds around. Best to rise above it and just see them as sad little people leading an insignificant little life! Best wishes - and great hair by the way. Ian
Thank you, that is much better
Wear a "Men's Long Hair Hyperboard" t-shirt.
I've always felt that if someone thinks you're a woman from behind, then it is a compliment because women have pretty hair :)
Granted, some can just be a**holes and just say that cause it's considered "too long" on a guy.
But yeah, you can start working out.
Even if you can't grow a beard, you can probably grow a soup saver. Grow one and dye it dark if necessary to make it noticeable.
Heh, unfortunately the best I can do is John Waters... and I've tried weight training, I get cut, but not bulky. Guess I'll just rock the androgyny a' la young Michael Monroe. It's funny but I've noticed chicks seem to dig that look.
you could go with a Freddy mercury look, just kidding. James/Tampa,Fl
Mmhmm!
The people who claimed not to be able to tell if I was a boy or girl were not, how shall I say this? my target market. Not that I ever could manage androgyny, but if people are attracted to the way you look, that beats trying to maintain a look that isn't you!
Maybe a little more toned up and more sun? It happened to me alot when I was 19 & 20, especially when I wore a bulky winter coat. It's just a young guy thing sometimes. When you're old & ugly it probably won't happen anymore! You could maybe count your blessings that you're attractive at least. Heh! HEEEEEEY, I got it, how about big cloppy dirty construction work boots, and a big wallet chain??? ;D Hard to mistake that!! I've seen some young guys that are like, really pretty, and could be mistake for a girl, but wear really brutally manly clothes, and it seems to work well.... I remember doing that too sometimes.
Yeah, I guess that'd work, I do have a damned pretty face if I do say so myself... the small hands don't help either, but eh, I don't really mind looking girly. I'm a big hairmetal/glam metal fan so I don't mind messing with people's perceptions of gender or whatever...
I could probably give Andrej Pejic a run for his money, heh.
WOW!!!!!!!! yeah, you are pretty like a girl. ;p Heh. Thanks for sharing. Hehe. Well like you said, you could just enjoy messing with peoples' concepts! Might as well! ;D
I think you're awesome. Seriously. Nice to meet another wise ass. Lol.
Yeah, I'll rock the makeup and what not now and again. Honestly I've found tight jeans (from the front at least) help people figure out that I'm not a lady *laughs* Occasionally I'll get some drunk dude hitting on me and I kinda just point the the bulge and they go away
Lol! That's so f-f-f-funny..... I kind of understand that whole area of people that are straight, that like girls, but like girl stuff too, it's not really surprising to me. When a girl is with a guy like that, she gets, like, a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time. She can talk makeup & stuff, like a friend, but a friend with benefits....
Heh, indeed. I mean it's funny because I'm kinda macho in a lot of ways (well not really, I'm not like into sports or being uber competitive and stuff) but I'm very much "Mr. Fix It" I spend a lot of time repairing things around the house, and I refinished our living room set myself... and I work on my own car, and although generally I'm not a violent guy at all (quite the opposite, I actively avoid physical violence) but I'll certainly step up to protect me and mine. I guess I identify with constructive masculinity, I like to build things and fix things, and help people, and I really don't want to smash things or people. Though I guess being interested in fashion could be perceived as a feminine interest, but I think I'm just generally interested in aesthetics and design because I'm interested in symbols and narrative.
My girlfriend's parents were initially terrified of me, what with the hair and the eyeliner and the high heeled boots, and thought I was a little thuggy or something, but after a few years they've realized I just *look* like a bad boy (or well a bad boy from the 80s, heh), and I'm actually a bookish guy who likes to cook and who's most violent tendency naturally is a snarky sense of humor.
Though yeah, I'll admit I do enjoy shopping with my girlfriend, though that's because I kinda enjoy getting to dress her up, because that usually results in a... fun evening.
LOL!
I think you're just too open minded to not have some things from both sexes. I'm like that too. It's just better. It gives you MORE FREEDOM, which is just intelligent. We're free to do what we want and we know it and exploit it. You sound like a good person. It's nice you can make things & fix things. That brings independence, which is good. I love my construction work because I'm surrounded by guys who can do alot of things. They're extremely capable. Some could drywall a room and make a cd of themselves playing the guitar. Some can order and pour concrete, and cook for their girlfriend too. It's pretty awesome sometimes.
It's all just a part of life really, you know? We all have clothes. I've known straight guys who could hand sew costumes and some regular clothes very quickly by eye. It doesn't stop with putting the cabinets in, some guys pick the room colors too. Nice talking to you.
Glam rock is *SWEET* (pun intended!)
One thing I enjoy about being female is that I can wear anything -- camouflage and combat boots one day, a sequened gown the next. I always thought that the "acceptable" traditional dress/groming for men is extremely limited, and that it would suck to be pressured to stay within those limiting boundaries. You go, TheGlamMrD!!! :)
Heh, well I thankfully work in an industry where I can wear and do anything (I work as a sex and BDSM educator so I could show up in a chicken suit and as long as I still know how to tie someone up I'm good)
I just looked him up in Google images. Uh...yeah! ;p I think you probably could outdo him! Interesting...... ;p
- John C
- I had no real idea androjeny could be so beautiful.
John C...Great advice! As a young kid it would bother me when I was mistaken as a girl since I always had longish hair in high School-then one of my parent's friend told me that when ppl mistake a boy for a girl it's a compliment and means you are handsome...(Will never forget those words)Like John said it's part of that youthfulness you possess-just take it and embrace it because age will eventually replace it someday...And if big burly dudes bug you then they are only jealous because they see the girls want you more lol...Therefore, don't let them get to you and smile at your good fortune.
As : Maybe a little more toned up and more sun? It happened to me alot when I was 19 & 20, especially when I wore a bulky winter coat. It's just a young guy thing sometimes. When you're old & ugly it probably won't happen anymore! You could maybe count your blessings that you're attractive at least. Heh! HEEEEEEY, I got it, how about big cloppy dirty construction work boots, and a big wallet chain??? ;D Hard to mistake that!! I've seen some young guys that are like, really pretty, and could be mistake for a girl, but wear really brutally manly clothes, and it seems to work well.... I remember doing that too sometimes.
GrandMrD,
I agree with Never2Long and trolleypup -- that you should take it as a compliment and not worry if people correct their gender mistake. Some people are too embarrassed to correct a mistake like that. But it is often an innocent mistake, so just forgive it, smile about the fact that they think your hair is awesome, and move on. :)
I have also noticed the same thing John said, that people take cues to gender (and orientation) by what you are wearing. And part of it is your youthfulness, which you should just enjoy and not worry about. :)
But the most important things are what YOU said. You said that *other people* were mistaking your gender. You did not say that YOU are unhappy with your physical appearance. What *you* think about yourself matters, what others think about you does not matter. If you are happy with yourself, then keep doing what you're doing. If you are not happy with yourself, then take steps to change the things that YOU want to change - not the things that *other people* want you to change. Rule #1 is: Be true to yourself! :)
The other thing you said is that the girls seem to be digging your look. Dude!! Use that to you advantage -- I would totally take that and run with it!!!!
And keep growing that manly mane!!! :)
Laura-great words of wisdom for this young lad...Beautifully worded and to the point!(Laura your hair looks amazing too-thanks for sharing your pic!
I've had long hair for a number of years now and have
only been mistaken for a woman once. (At a large local store,
she apologigzed when she saw the front and the moustache.)
Back in the 80s and 90s by hair was waist length but I still never
got mistakne for a woman.
Hi to TheGrandMrD,
A big welcome to the board and I think your got a wonderful head of hair there which grows very fast and looks like your personal care routine is working well.
If your comfortable inside your skin it doesn't matter what others think of you other then your true friends and the people you love. I admire people like your self who can adopt the androgynous look.
I think your got more guts to be yourself then a closet-full of deeply insecure butch gangsta hip-hop homeboys could ever do.
I do agree with others that you could pass for a girl from a distance and maybe if you are concerned about this which I don't think you are you could grow a beard.
To me you are a real man because you have the guts to be yourself and not afraid to challenge the gender stereotypes which lesser people who are afraid to be themselves end up adopting. Masculinity is a state of mind. Butch is something that tries hard to appear masculine but can't quite pull it off.
Duncan