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Have you ever have a woman want to touch your hair? I feel uncomfortable when this occurs. I have a neighbor who wanted to touch my hair, and I did allow her. At least she asked first. Maybe I should feel grateful that women want to touch me. However, I am one of those individuals that likes his personal space. I am single, and I wouldn't panic over a girlfriend who is touchy, but strangers kind of bother me.
Darrin
This really bothers me as well, actually this reminds me of an issue that comes up for people of African Descent with hair and personal space (sorry, the activist in me is coming out, heh)
http://bglhonline.com/2011/07/touching-natural-hair-without-permission-is-it-a-race-thing/comment-page-1/ here's a blog post on it. Basically, it's a similar phenomenon (although not the same, we have male privilege, and I at least, have white privilege, along with a whole lot of other privilege, like heterosexual and cisgender privilege, as well as economic and educational privilege... gah sorry activist speak again) but basically as men who don't conform strictly to social ideals of masculinity we lose some privilege and come in for body policing and inappropriate touching.
No one has asked to feel mine yet, though it's not super long yet either... I guess it's a personal thing. Though if I found the person attractive I don't think I'd mind!
Actually i've only had it happen to me once.
I let it pass since the woman was the wife of the department
commander of the Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War group I belong to.
It's one of those things where some people can do it without being weird and some people can't. If the person doing it is a long hair, either male or female, they usually ask permission and then lift the part of your hair below your neck so that they can feel the weight and the texture. Actually touching your head is creepy and inappropriate.
If you really want to touch someone's hair, the best way to do it is to offer to braid it for them.
I've had this happen a few times, but the only ones I can recall that didn't ask first were friends who pretty much knew I wouldn't mind. In fact, I have one friend who fairly regularly plays around with different braid styles if I happen to have mine loose when she's around.
Frodo
I went to a neighborhood block party some time back, and a neighbor's wife put a hand in my hair and stretched it out on one side saying, "Look at his long hair!" to the other neighbors. Then she left her hand in my hair like this for about a half minute, longer than I'd expect. I picked up she likes long hair, and her short haired husband should probably take a hint.
As far as I'm concerned anyone can put their hands in my hair, and I don't see any problem with that.
Sure. Happens fairly frequently when it is down (and it isn't down very often). Strangers and acquaintances both, and permission is asked first (at least the first time). I like it.
If someone if friendly, and they ask I'll also drop my bun...a little bit of positive long hair evangelism is a good thing.
Contrary to most answers: I don't like my hair to be touched or to be played with. To me it feels quite inappropriate, it's almost like another body part to me and I wouldn't like anyone to just touch my body either. If someone askes friendly, I feel awkward because it's probably meant friendly and shows they like long hair, but I still would say no
Hello Darrin.
Like you I used to get a little uncomfortable when I get that kind of attention - I haven't really had to deal with it since school (a long time ago). I used to just go along with it. Weirdly, I remember this one particular girl at school who used to ask my if she could touch my hair almost every time I saw her (about once a month, our school was huge), I found it rather strange because she only wanted to touch my hair, we never really made friends or hung out or anything, but she was always really nice about my hair.
I think mainly girls who are interested in your hair probably admire it. It won't do you any harm and it might improve your confidence around the ladies!
Neil.
I would consider it a compliment when a woman *says* she wants to touch your hair. But saying it and doing it w/o permission are two different things. I have had people touch my hair w/o permission as well. I liken this to when people just go up to a pregnant woman and touch her belly -- although the intent may be innocent, the actual touching feels like a violation of personal space, and can be quite unwelcomed. Sometimes you just have to politely say, "I appreciate you complimenting my hair, but I am not comfortable with people touching it. It's just this thing I have - don't take it personally." If you can be nice like that, the person will usually understand, learn from it, and generalize that info to other people/situations. However, if you say something that comes across as rude or mean, the person will assume you are either having a bad day or are just a jerk in general, and will not learn anything from the interaction. When you or a loved one is unique in some way, you are often put in the position of teaching other people how to accept/respond to the unique quality. Whether you like it or not, you will find yourself in this position repeatedly, so you may as well use it as a positive, teachable moment. :)
Usually I'm flattered. I've only refused permission once, and that was when walking to my car late at night I was asked by someone I am reasonably sure was a prostitute if she could touch my hair. I wondered if she might charge me, LOL!
I was sitting in a chair at school yesterday, and one of my co-workers came up from behind me and began braiding my hair in one spot show a student, who commented how much it had grown over the summer, what fun stuff you can do with it now.
I ignored her like I didn't know what she was doing... it actually felt good, in a different way, that someone felt comfortable enough to touch my hair and do that (I do wash it everyday after all :p ), and at the same time acknowledge my length.
I don't think I'd have a problem with it in the future.....