new thread
hi all
i am now 7 weeks in from a shaved head and my hair is growing quick and thick, and i am really proud of my decision to finally grow out my hair.
Obviousley i am a long way off any length at the moment but people are already commenting on my changing appearance...some positive but some negative too....it seems that other folk have more of a problem with my appearance than i do myself.
Never experienced this before...is it likely to stop or should i get used to it?
Thanks in advance for any advice
scott
dont grow up....grow down instead!
Sounds to me like your hair is still in what I would call the "Really Short" range, so I'd be surprised if the negative comments your getting now are the same ones a Longhair gets.
But being a Longhair means being part of a Minority, and as such, practically guarantees getting some negative comments thrown at you - atleast untill your out of the early growing-out stanges.
If people have already started complaining that your hair is too long, those people probibly aren't going to stop complaining when your hair gets some actuall length to it.
So my advice to you would be to develope a thick skin to some degree - if you haven't already - and learn to simply ignore the negative comments.
I agree, until it grows out to certain length the comments continue .....
Hey Scott,
I'm more convinced that you are a born longhair. You are eager to let us know about your progress. You have said that you are glad in your decision to grow out your hair.
Do you like the change in your appearance? Do you like the feel of your hair? Are you looking forward to reaching the different milestones that are going to come as your hair gets longer? Then you claim your appearance as your birthright. Be confident in your bearing. Return every slur and slight that is directed toward you because of your hair with the distainful glare it deserves. Don't honor it with a retort; it doesn't deserve it. You're a long hair, bro. We're the strong ones. Yes, when those who would make derogatory or degrading comments about your hair perceive your inner confidence, strength, and that you're at peace with who you are then the negative comments will become fewer and fewer and will eventually stop.
Be strong, bro. You're a longhair.
Don't grow up....grow down, instead
Raymond
hi Raymond
Thanks for the excellent advice yet again....I still want to grow my hair and as you said....that is all that matters.
Still loving my journey 7 weeks and counting!
Dont grow up.....grow down instead!
Scott
Hi Scott. The thing is, you are getting comments. It's your decision to grow you hair out, so it's good that people around you are noticing a change. There will always be those who love it, and those that don't - that's life. Take it in your stride - you know where you are going and what you want. Ian
Human beings are creatures of habit; predictable routines/sameness give us a feeling of security and stability. It can be unsettling to many people when something - anything - changes drastically. They often feel an underlying sense of instability, even though they are not sure exactly why. The change in your hair, being especially visible (as opposed to changes inside of you that are not readily visable) is an easy thing for people to target when they cannot pinpoint anything else abut you that is different. Compare these two sentences: "Your hair looks so different!" and "Something is different about you, but I can't figure out what it is!"
Humans are exceedingly visual creatures, physiologically and emotionally (but frequently not cognitively) tuned into visual stimuli. It is a visceral and deep-seated instinctual response (much like that of 'fight or flight') that has helped our ancestoes stay alive. However, in the modern world, this response does not come across as helpful to survival, but as misunderstanding and non-acceptance.
The people whom you are close to, the ones who really matter, may unconciously be afraid that other things about you are going to change also. Some people need to be reassured that you are still the same person on the inside, with the same core values and beliefs, same likes and dislikes, same affection for family/friends, same sense of humor, etc., and that you are just spreading your wings a little and doing something different with your hair. Once these people feel secure again, knowing that you are the same person - just with longer hair - then they start to relax and eventually accept (even encourage!) your hair growth.
The poeple whom you are not close to, the ones who don't really matter to you -- well, that's exactly it -- *they don't really matter*!! You just have to develop a tough skin for the times you encounter them. And, yes, this is going to continue for many years. Just remember when someone makes a negative comment, it is NOT a reflection of YOU. It is a reflection of THEM, that they are either not informed or not understanding something. The type of person to make negative comments about long hair on men, will also make negative comments about other peoples' clothing choices, musical preferences, activities, pets, marital status, even the job they have! -- you name it, and they will have something negative to say about it! "Haters gonna hate" - whether it's hair or something else. Don't internalize other peoples' negative energy. :)
You're doing great, Scott, keep it growing! :)
pare these two sentences: "Your hair looks so different!" and "Something is different about you, but I can't figure out what it is!"
hi Laura
you have given me some real food for thought with the above observations, in particular to assess the value of these comments depending on source and/or motive...plus you have reinforced my desire to keep on doing what i have always been afraid to do....be myself on the outside as well as on the inside!
Many thanks.......loving this forum!
Scott from nottingham, UK
One thing I noticed when I decided it was time to grow my hair out was the freedom that I felt. For once in my life, I am just bein' me and I am diggin' the way it feels. And when you start enjoying that kind of thing that much, peoples' comments just don't matter. Rock on!
What a great answer :))
It can be unsettling to many people when something - anything - changes drastically. They often feel an underlying sense of instability, even though they are not sure exactly why.
The condition is called conservatism.
Duncan
Get used to it for a while at least.
Hi Scott,
Sorry I am late replying to this.
You will get comments and they will be varying depending on who it is talking to you. The best thing to do is just focus on the good ones, anyone who respects you for making a change in your style has gotta be worth listening to. Funnily enough, they are the ones who seem to realise that "style" isn't the most important thing in ones life and will support your choice as long as you continue to be a nice person. There's a couple of esxpressions I tend to use a lot:
"It's only hair, man." or "It's only hair, nan" :P
Keep it growing matey.
Neil