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Hello guys,
I have a great married female friend. She's married to a bald guy. I get along great with her, as if we were life-long partners. But the thing is that she never misses an occasion to ask me to dye my hair and to cut it, at least to shoulder length.
Can anybody tell me the psychology behind this request?
Could it be envy?
Its easy. Women are manipulative and controlling. Just ignore her.
CORRECTION -
As female longhairs often say - you are not there to decorate anybody else's world. Your hair, your decision. Just reply that you like you hair long, and that's how it's staying.
Nothing very deep. She simply feels you'd look better.
People on this board are gonna hate me but ... I tend to agree with her. I think your hair looks awesome the way it is but she feels it might look even better. You're still young but I see your hair is greying. I think it would look good dyed. And trimmed back to a little longer than shoulder length might suit you - still long but perhaps more stylish.
It sorta depends on WHY you want long hair. Is it simply for the sake of growing your hair as long as you can - as some kind of competition - regardless of how it looks or is it because you want to look good?
I grew my own hair long for two reasons:
1) I think I look a lot better with long hair than short hair.
2) I don't want to be a clone and I feel long hair expresses my personality far better than short hair.
But I personally don't think it would suit me much longer than shoulder length. I grew my hair to improve my looks and express my individuality - not to enter a competition.
BUT that's just me. How you want YOUR hair is down to YOU and how YOU feel. Do NOT give in to your friend or anyone else. You would totally regret it if it is not what YOU want. And tell her to stop nagging!
Damon
(getting ready to run ... ;)
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Some people think they know what's best for everyone, and that their opinion is vitally important. They often like to dominate those around them.
As other people have said, it's your hair, not hers, so what you do with it should be your decision. If you want to dye, cut, perm, straighten or do anything with your hair, go for it, but don't do anything just because someone told you they think you should.
There could be any number of reasons for her "suggestions", but I suspect it's something a lot of married men encounter. Once they're married, their wives try to change or alter various aspects of their appearance or personality. Without intending to sound like a chauvinist, it's apparently just one of those Y chromosome traits. To be polite and without alienating her, all you can really do is just say "no thank you" and change the subject. By the way, I think your hair looks great just as it is, and if you intend of growing it longer, all the better.
Psychology aside, how about just telling her flat out to get a new mouth and see how she likes that? Sure. Why not? I mean really, "Tit for tat."
A REAL friend does not try and control. A REAL friend is right there for you in time of need. A REAL friend accepts and "respects" you just as you are. A REAL friend is supportive.
Justin~
Justin, I'm laughing out loud in the piano practicing room over your awesome reply!!!!!!!! I hope you are well friend.
Hey JohnC
I am fine and I hope you are as well. :-)
So, practicing the Piano are you? Great! It is so wonderful to play music, speaking of which, I was lucky enough to have acquired an 1871 German Harmonium today that luckily is still able to work. And the wood, I am sure you would LOVE it. Some of the wood infact (I have been told) is from trees now extinct.
Keep laughing! Makes one feel really good.
Gotta run and get through the park before it is too dark. Just beautiful down here today.
Justin~
It's tough to understand it. My best friend tels me to cut it because my hair doesn't fit my face well. What happens is that he wants the best for me, but he isn't ME. Friends often come with that up, but it's because they have a concern for you at heart. I'm only 17, and my friend tell me I could be a ladies man if I have my hair cut, it's a teenage worry. But since you and your friend are adults, try to think like her. Friends sometimes hurt us a little bit for loving us. It's only natural.
Big Hug, and keep up the good looking hair.
Personally I have NEVER understood anyone offering another person their opinion unless it was asked for ! regarding their appearence. I would think that extremely rude !!!
aww, Don't cut it - it's gorgeous! Besides, you'd lose the lower non grey part with all it's nice curls. I certainly do not think it belongs in the garbage. What belongs in the garbage is her destructive energy.
She does not understand what is her business and what is not. That's her problem, and she's displaying it to you - ALOT! When someone displays a problem like that to me, I point it out, and inside myself, realize it is an aspect of them primarily. I say, 'you feel that way...yes, you do..that is you expressing your feelings to me.. you feel strongly.. that's you. I do not neccessarily need to consider it, as what I consider is my business, and I don't care to hear this anymore, as I've heard you share it enough. You're just not getting your way. I'm not changing.' You can tell her what I said and she can scream at me directly all she wants.
Try this experiment: The next time she brings your hair up, counter with a suggestion that she shave her head. Say that it would make a great match with her husband's bald head and they'd make such a CUTE couple! I disclaim any responsibility for any damages, physical injuries or loss of friendships. :)
Lol great idea
Thank you all for your replies. It was very helpful.
It's quite obvious-- she's angry you have better hair then her husband :)