new thread
hello all
i have been active on this board since june and grew my hair for 5 months...only to cave-in this week and shave it again!!
I need some honest opinions please.....i feel i look weird now, (gotten used to having hair) but it is far easier to manage.
Have you guys got any comments that may help me?
Cheers
Scott
oh my god! what have you done?!?
You had SUCH a great look before....
Hi Scott, My honest opinion is that you should have continued growing. Five months was begining to make a real difference to the length of your hair and, I think, was suiting you very well. But you made the choice to shave it off so perhaps you are not yet ready be become a longhair. Best wishes in whatever you decide to do, Ian
If you like it then that automatically justifies it. Opinions here matter not.
Personally ...
Not cut it...let it grow :-)
Cheers,
John.B
Help you do what? Grow your hair long and thus do something you clearly do not really want to do?
Sorry, Scott. It's your decision. Either you want long hair or you want short hair. If you feel the need for other people to help persuade you one way or the other, then your heart isn't in it. Since you have decided to have short hair, then that is clearly what you really want. Why would anyone try to persuade you to have something you are not truly happy with?
Personally, I want long hair on me, I feel not an iota of temptation to have short hair, work is cool with it so no pressure from them, and frankly I couldn't give a **** what anyone else thinks. So I caved in to what I really want, you caved in to what you really want. There is nothing else to "cave-in" to.
No, you don't look weird. You look older, you look conventional - and some people might tell you you look better. And I dare say it is easier to manage - though for me a twice-weekly wash with shampoo and conditioner, a quick daily comb, and maybe some oil if it gets a bit dry, is no big deal.
It is up to YOU - and only YOU - how you want YOUR hair. If you keep "caving in" to having your hair short, then it's pretty obvious that that is truly how you want it. Nothing wrong with that. It's simply freedom of expression.
Damon
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Honestly, while it's ultimately your choice, I think you made a poor decision without using the 2 week rule. Long hair takes commitment, and while it does take a bit more care, I really don't think it's that much more than shorter hair. (Admittedly a buzz cut takes zero maintenance but looks like squat to my eyes.) If you decide to try it again, set yourself a goal and don't let anything deter you along the way. And adopt the two week rule which says you must want to cut it for every day of two weeks before you do so. If at any time during that period you have doubts then the clock resets and you start counting again. This keeps you from doing something impulsive which you'll later regret.
--Dale
Hey Scott. You shouldn't be asking for opinions. It's your head, your hair, and what you do with should concern no one than you. But I truly think you should use the two week rule and watch Interview with the vampire (like I said that other time, remember?). Always works for me. And man, have I thought about cutting it a lot of times. Yet it is still here.
Perhaps you just were not ready yet, but try to see what you really want, and go for it.
And about the keeping/grooming part, you did not even reached the awkward stage, and it's not that hard. It gets to me sometimes, but the sway of my hair in the wind is a feeling that rewards all of it.
Big Hug and I wish you good luck in what you desire!
Well it's all about what you want. If you really want long hair you have just set yourself back to square one, on the other hand, if you like your hair short then there is no need to feel guilty.
I will say many years ago I shaved my sholder length hair off in a moment of weakness and always regretted it. Now I'm going through the awkward phase all over again, and had I not rushed to do it I would have been better off.
All the best to you,
Jeremy
they simply grow it long and do not cave-in. No game playing, wishy-washy thoughts of "should I, have I made the right decision, what will people think" etc. Nope, they want it, and they grow it non-stop with an excitement within that at last they will have what means the most to them in the area of personal expression.
Totally agree and well said! I have never ever had even a shadow of second thoughts about growing my hair, not an iota of doubt. I wanted it, I went for it. And I LOVE it!
Some people told me to cut it. I totally ignored them - and ENJOYED ignoring them! It's MY hair, MY life - not theirs. :)
Damon
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Justin, that's exactly right. What I want to say falls in the "What people think" catagory. I know you remember me posting the stuff about my sister-in-law trying to tell me what she thought about my hair while she and her husband stayed at our house for days and days at a time. UPDATE: Those days are over. I nipped it in the bud, told her exactly what my wife, Pam and I thought of attitudes and comments like hers, and we haven't heard another word. In fact, she REFUSES to have ANYTHING to do with me! She has totally blocked me on Facebook and won't communicate in any way. My wife was shaking her head the other day and said, "My gosh, she acts like you're a stalker or something!" And she does! She's totally removing herself from us like we have some disease or something. Not that it bothers us--after putting up with her mouth for so many years, it's just FUNNY that my telling her to stop disrespecting me in my home and to NEVER speak to me again with that tone or attitude would create a stir like it has.
People are nutty today. Unfortunately, you have to stand up to a few of them, if you want peace in your life. I'm glad it did.
Steve
Justin, I have seen your youtube videos, and you are completely right. Dont listen to anyone, and be very careful about salons. I just moved to a different town for college, and its a good 4 hour drive to my old hair cut place. There is a salon next door to where to where I live, and my neighbor works there. She and the owner kept trying to get me to cut it. It got to the point I had split ends pretty bad,and I needed it trimmed. I made an appointment after she swore not to do anything to it I didnt want her to, and not screw it up. ( FYI, I absolutely hate sharp or hot objects near my hair, especially in the hands of a salon owner). Every day since I made the appointment to th day I went in to have it trimmed, the owner kept asking me to have it styled in various ways. my response was just trim it, only an inch or so, no funny stuff. whn I went in to have it cut, and I told the owner( who was cutting my hair) not to screw it up. (now would be a good time to mention this lady has on a couple occasions stumbled into my yard at 3 AM wasted drunk to the edge of passing out.) well, she screwed it up and cut it way to short for me. and she took forever because she decided she wanted to put a little style into it. I had a billiard tounament that afternoon, and when I got out of there, I went straight to the tournament and was a half hour late. before it got cut, I could pull it back into a ponytail, which I usually did at billiards tournaments, but now I cant. and the hair is constantly getting into my eyes. I dont think I will ever forgive myself for letting her cut it, or her for cutting it to short. I absolutely hate having hair this short. thats why I grew it out for 4 years.
Hi Scott: You looked great with longer hair. Hope you grow it long again please. Take care good luck with your hair growth.
Tom(Hairboy)
I thought it looked better long. But, short hair is just like long hair--it's not about what other people think. It's about what you want for yourself. If you really like yourself with short hair, it shouldn't matter what I or anybody else says.
Steve
I also believe you looked better with your hair growing. However, as others have said, it is a matter of personal choice. The purpose of such things as ths site is to celebrate hair and our right to grow it as we see fit. If you are happier with it shaved, or short, or down to the floor, then do it. To me, humans look just wrong with a shaved head. You may be one of the few that can carry it off, however, most I've seen look like doorknobs someone painted a face on, then whacked with a ball peen hammer. Just my opinion.
To me, humans look just wrong with a shaved head. You may be one of the few that can carry it off, however, most I've seen look like doorknobs someone painted a face on, then whacked with a ball peen hammer. Just my opinion.
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Nothing worse than a lumpy doorknob that stares back at ya! Lol
It's like when you try to go into the cold water and you get so far then turn around, get out, then contemplate another try. The fact you're asking for help should show you where you are wanting to go. Don't worry about it too much. When I first grew mine, back in Buffalo, I felt I stood out too much just growing it a little. I had to move out west to see lots of guys with hair all one length, and loads of them very normal acting, even very worth knowing, not just wierdos or punks, like some in my hometown. Then I felt it to be a much easier thing to just let mine grow... course then there was the change of careers, slight shift of friends, etc. I saw this girl at a very cool tibetan incense shop who has incredibly well cared for hair to her butt, & she said, " It's a journey, isn't it?" with a peaceful smile. She's so nice. You're just on your journey, wherever you make it lead.
John C. Great advice! I love the story! U are so right, it is a journey that only one can make, either you are ready or your not!
Dee
Thank you very much!!!! ;p
Yes, what he said. Great post.
It appears you seem a bit unsure of whether you really want long or short hair. at least that is what your post conveys to me.
you say you "feel" like you look weird. you don't look weird to me, just hairless, but what I think you're really trying to say is that you don't feel like you are yourself after doing that and/or uncomfortable with your decision to have buzzed your hair off which leads me to ask-
could peer pressure have played a part in your decision to buzz it off? maybe the guys you congregate with at the pub kept hinting that you needed a haircut because they all prefer the conformist buzzed look?
perhaps your employer raised some objections to your hair growing recently or may? your wife/girlfriend? other family members?
Don't be concerned with what the others think. if they are your friends they will remain friends even after you grow your hair.
if not, then they were never real friends to begin with.
Also we all have been told that "society" will judge you if you decide to grow your hair , but do we all really give a Rats #%$ what "society" thinks?
A man should be judged by his character and intellect, not his hair length!
I say do what you want to do and Screw those who ob ject!
thanks Paul
i dont think you are far off the mark, somethong has happened actually, i have had 2 deaths in the family, on my father's side in the past 10 days...as a result my Dad was rushed into hospital....it made me feel "new" to shave my head....a coping machanism maybe?
Thanks for taking the time to give useful, constructive feedback, you have made me think about my reasons for cutting it in a whole new light.
Peace dude! :)
scott
Steve,
Hope you're still lurking even if not active ...
You come across as a really decent dude. It makes no difference whether your hair is short, long or no hair at all - what matters is how you are inside and you score high.
So sorry to hear of the trauma you've been through recently. I really hope you have another go at growing your hair one day and return to this site - since I for one will miss your company. In the meantime, I wish your Dad a speedy recovery and the very best for you.
And look after your hair! The very fact that you've been here tells me there's a bit of rebel/non-conformist inside you eager to get out. Give it its freedom one day and enjoy!
Damon
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Scott,
I'm sorry about your recent circumstances. I know, I 've been there man. I know when we make a drastic change in our self, its a defense mechanism to just be able to cope with the situation at hand...I've had many different hair styles throughout my life and I remember clearly when something was really. Bothering. Me I would go ahead and to something drastic to my hair. It was a way of coping with the dilemma ...if it's long hair you truely want you will get there when you are ready. My long hair journey had some failed attempts too. Just pdo what you feel you want that's all, that is what will make you an individual ...
Peace, Dee.
Jh
thanks Paul
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Scott,
My condolences to you and your family in this most difficult time. I would also like to extend a prayer for your father's speedy recovery.
Do not view this recent cutting off of your hair as failure on your part; it is a response to the great stress and grief that has recently befallen you. In times of personal turmiol, it is common and completely normal for individuals of all ages to revert back to routines that are simpler, and things that are familiar and comforting. Since you have had short hair all of your adult life (save the past 5 months), that is familiar to you, and the routine of caring for short hair is simpler than caring for longer hair. And you are correct in thinking that it is a coping strategy for you at this time.
Do not worry about growing your hair right now; your priority is for yourself and your family members to get through the next several weeks and months of loss and grief. I understand this on a personal level, for my brother passed away last year. For me, the first month after his death was the hardest to get through. I wrote a short poem and prose (for a publication) in regards to the passing of a loved one. Several people, including my mother, told me it was helpful to them. If you wish, I can e-mail it to you.
Laura
Hi Laura...thanks for your kind words and advice, it's been a tough year for me and I totally agree with your viewpoint that i am just trying to get through this.
I have also decided to take a rather generous redundancy package and travel a little in the new year before starting fresh, hopefully some good will come out of this bad.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss....i really hope you are getting back to normal...i imagine you were a big help to your family, and i would love to read your poem.
regards
scott
Scott,
If you send your e-mail address to me at lauranelllaing@yahoo.com
I will forward the article to you (I promise I will not send anything else).
hi Laura.....email wont send, are you sure you have given me the correct email?
Scott
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Yes. There are three lower case "L" in a row; sometimes that throws people.
Follow Ups:
Follow Ups:
Follow Ups:
Follow Ups:
My sister in Australia has no problem sending/receiving e-mail to me, but she has a hotmail account. Perhaps you have a UK e-mail account that is not compatable with my US e-mail account??
still no joy Laura....
However...mine is swal6@yahoo.com if you want to try directly?
Scott
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Yes. There are three lower case "L" in a row; sometimes that throws people.
lauranelllaing@yahoo.com
My sister in Australia has no problem sending/receiving e-mail to me, but she has a hotmail account. Perhaps you have a UK e-mail account that is not compatable with my US e-mail account??
Sorry, just don't like shaved heads!
Sincerest condolences regarding your recent losses, and best wishes to your father for a full and speedy recovery.
Something I've noticed in my own life's journey is that, when the things I can't control seem overwhelming, I find myself searching for something I CAN control. Sometimes, this has manifested as the sudden, compulsive cutting off of my hair. I think it's possible that you may have recently experienced something similar. Give yourself some time to mourn. Reassess the things that are truly important in your life. Appreciate your many blessings. Before too long, you'll be moving forward again.
As for the "look" of it, I don't personally find the appearance of long hair or short hair necessarily "better or worse" than one another. It depends on the person, and in my opinion, the relative attractiveness of it often has more to do with whether or not THEY are happy with it. I think you carry off the shaved head look well, though I believe long hair would suit you even better. Again, this is probably because of the fact that (in my opinion) you are a true longhair at heart, as has been evidenced by the thoughts and feelings you've shared here over the past several months. If I'm wrong, no worries... I'm confident that you're the type of man who will find the path to merging your inner and outer selves.
Be good to yourself, my friend, and please feel free to stick around the MLHH.
With kind regards,
Val
Yes, I think there's something in that, Val. When I've been really upset I've sometimes deliberately destroyed something that meant a lot to me.
Scott, perhaps the fact that you buzzed your hair actually meant the opposite of what it seemed and that you did it because you actually loved your long hair?
Damon
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Hi Val/Damon
thanks for the support...and you both have a point here...I did it to cope i believe with my present situation, and it briefly helped, hopefully i'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed very soon and will be back to "self"
on another note....i've decided to take redundancy package and give myself half a year to travel, and experience new things, i hated my coprorate job anyway and can now afford to take this opportunity....i'm looking at place that have banned clippers!! :)
thanks again guys
peace
scott