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Where does this "need" for approval come from?
why should I as a Man need someone's approval to wear my hair long if I chose to?
why is it an "issue" for certain segments of "society" I.E, Employers, relatives, spouse/girlfriend or anyone else if we chose to wear our hair longer than the cultural norm of the day?
why do we need approval to dress the way we want rather than become some short haired clean-shaven automaton wearing a monkey suit who cannot think independently and constantly believes they must please the others rather than themselves and in the process feel defeated , have low-self esteem among other psychological issues?
imagine our ancestors before battle asking someone else if they thought they needed a haircut or to shave his beard or mustache off?
sounds ridiculous and it sure would have been laughed at centuries ago so where does this particular mindset come from?
In some cultures a man without long hair and/or a beard might not have been allowed into battle...
Community/cultural standards are funny things, changing over time and all. However, they are loosening in general.
Hi there Trolleypup,
I agree with your comment above! I'm probably a good 15 or even 20 years older than you (I'm 58 -- am I close to the mark, at least?), and remember very well the anti-longhair attitudes of when I was a teenager. Back then, long hair on a male was viewed as very SHOCKING -- as "rebellious", etc. My dad, for example, even until the day he died, just could not wrap his mind around why any guy would want to grow their hair long.
It's a pleasure seeing those negatives attitudes gradually lift -- not that there still aren't some anti-longhair "hangers-on"; but just that more and more, many people and society in general have finally gotten the idea that maybe, just maybe, occasionally a man might like long hair on himself simply because he likes long hair on himself... Now that's a novel concept, isn't it? (LOL)
- Ken
PS - I know I'm late in saying this, but I don't get on this board as often as I used to: I enjoyed seeing your Halloween pics and update before that -- just that your posts had moved so far down the page by the time I saw it, that I felt silly even thinking about replying to either of them!
Ahh, I've reached the age where I take it as a compliment when people guess low. Thank you! I'm 12 yrs younger than you.
Isn't it! There isn't any deep reason I have long hair beyond I like long hair, on myself and others!
*shrug* After I post, I'll scroll down for about a week, but usually not longer than that, unless the board is slow and the discussion is active.
Imagine where the US of A would be today if they had told
Ben Franklin that he couldn't be a part of the history
of the US of A because he had long hair.
No one needs "approval" as such but society has always had its norms which by its structure it expects compliance. In some enterprises such as the military this is effectively by law, others house rules.
This will always obtain and is nothimg special to hair.
No one needs "approval" as such but society has always had its norms which by its structure it expects compliance. In some enterprises such as the military this is effectively by law, others house rules.
This will always obtain and is nothimg special to hair.
Quite simply, a persons insecurity.
While a guy might really want long hair, societies attitudes towards men with long hair can hold him back greatly. If you're not prepared to face criticism for being different to what is expected, then you're not going to be able to break out of the mould and do what you want. That's why people look for approval from others. They need at least a few people to approve of their choice, to encourage them to keep growing their hair. Otherwise the power of mainstream culture is too overwhelming, and these people cave in and don't stand out for fear of being ostracised. We're constantly told that being with other people, part of a community, in a relationship, is the ideal and something we must always strive for and is the normal thing to do, while being alone the worst thing to happen, and if you're along there's something wrong with you.
A lot of people can't deal with being independent and different, no matter how much they might want something like long hair. The fear of being alone is a powerful thing. It drives a lot of people to stay in line with the dominant culture, even if they don't like it.
Most people really really ARE like sheep. It's not just a literary exaggeration. Influenced by immediate social groups such as family, school and workmates or larger groups such as fellow citizens, the large majority of people read what others are reading, listen to the music others are listening to, think the way others are thinking ...
True initiative, individuality and creativity are actually quite rare attributes in relation to society as a whole. And the courage to express them is even rarer.
Part of our conformity is that we tend to follow fashion - and the fashion for long hair on guys is largely a generational thing. Men growing up in the late 1960s, 70s and 80s regarded long hair as normal. Young men growing up in the UK today also accept long hair as common (witness any uni campus) - whereas, conversely, the older generation who grew up in the 60s, 70s and 80s often fail to grasp that retro fashion has taken hold and mistakenly think that long hair is now passé.
Where I work (a large office - mostly older guys) long hair is rare. Whereas where I live (a studenty area - mostly younger guys) long or longish hair is almost the norm. I'm a freak at work - but boringly predictable where I live! ;)
Damon
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^^^ I feel the need to rearrange and edit the above:
"Where I work and live, I'm a predictably delicious long haired freak."
Yes... yes... that's much better now!
Feel free to edit my text anytime, Laura. Your version does wonders for my ego! :)
Damon
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who cannot think independently
That's the clue - they want to control their employees, including their thinking.
It comes from many years of fighting the establishment that
believed that males should have short hair.
I started growing my hair long in 1964, I met with a lot
of resistance from school authorities, parents, etc.
In later years I met with resistance from employers.
And they made it crystal clear that they didn't approve.
I have no idea where it came from, but I do know it is what it
is.